The story of a big brother

"Say,", Alice asked: "do you want to see your mother again?"

"Yes, once, a single time. I want to tell her everything that happened after she left. it's not that I want her to feel guilty or anything like that. I just think that she has the obligation to know what happened as the one who caused it. But after that, I don't think that I would want to see her again. When my father killed himself, I stopped seeing that person as my mother.", Gardos answered.

"You don't see her as your mother? That's..."

"Yeah, I know. But in the end, it was her who left me behind, and which parent would leave their own child behind like that? Now that I think about it, my father is kind of similar in that aspect. He killed himself and left me behind, but... it's also very different... I just don't know."

"Well then, should I go next?", Alex asked, trying to distract Gardos from his depressing thoughts.

"You know, I actually have a little sister.", Alex began to tell his story: "And sometimes you remind me a little of her, she should be about your age right now, Alice.

Back then, it was me, my little sister, my mother, and my father. My mother always took care of the housework, and I would either help her or take care of my sister. She always had a weak body and got ill easily. My father was working in the docks, and he probably still is.

The house we were living in was located up in the bears' territory, at the border of the commoner district and the slums. We didn't have much, but we got by somehow. Then, winter came, it was an especially cold one and the harbor froze for almost an entire month. If the harbor froze, that meant there wouldn't be any ships landing or leaving, that in turn meant there wasn't any work for my father which meant he couldn't earn any money.

It happened during that time, ironically it wasn't my sister who fell ill, but my mother. Since my father couldn't earn money, we obviously had to use what we had to spare on food. But that also meant that we couldn't buy any medicine for my mother whos illness turned worse each day.

In the end, she couldn't take it anymore, and after not even two weeks, my mother died. It all happened so suddenly, no one knew what to do and all of us had a hard time.

And as if to make fun of us, the day after her death, the ice had disappeared and my father could start working again. That night, he didn't return.

I don't know what exactly he had done and where he had been, but I would guess that he had just been too drunk to return home. But he came back on the next day, late at night when my sister and I had long gone to sleep. When he came back, he was completely drunk and started yelling, waking both of us up. Luckily, my sister was scared that night and had been sleeping in my bed. If not for that, I don't know what would have happened.

At first, the things my father said didn't make much sense, it was just the rambling of a drunk person. But after a while, he began blaming my little sister for my mother's death. He said that it was her fault because her medicine cost so much that there wasn't any money left to buy some for my mother. He asked why it couldn't have been her who died instead. It was inexcusable.

In the end, he tried hitting her. Luckily, we were together and I could protect her. At first he only hit me with his fists, then he started to whip me with his belt and in the end, even used the end with the buckle.

After that, it continued just like that. On good days, he wouldn't come home. On the bad ones, he would come home and try to hit my sister and I had to protect her. There were times were I almost began to hate her too, but whenever I got beaten for her, she would always wait for my father to disappear in his room. Then she would come out of her hiding place and come to me in my bed. Then she would take me in her arms and cry herself to sleep. When that happened, I just couldn't hate her anymore. Maybe that is just what it means to be a big brother.

These scars on my body, they are something I'm very proud of. Every single one of these meant that I could protect my little sister for another day.

In the end, I didn't realize the fact that my sister stayed healthy for almost half a year. It should have been something to be happy about, but when she fell ill once again, there wasn't any money this time. All the money we would have needed for her medicine had been used by my father to buy alcohol.

Just like my mother, my sister died of illness. On the same day, I ran away with the dead body of my sister. I ended up burying her somewhere outside of harborton.

While I was carrying her body through Harborton, I ran into Jake and Jessie. The old leader and his girlfriend. They somehow ended up helping me and even taught me some basics on how to survive in the streets.

But when they tried to leave, I started following them around and begged them to let me join them for over a week. In the end, they let me join, but only under the condition that I told them what had happened. That is also how this little tradition started back then.

You know, I kind of want to meet those two now. Its been far too long since they left.", Alex ended his story.

"I too want to meet them, why can't they just visit us some times?", Gardos said.

"You know the rules. Once you got away from the streets, you never return. If you want to meet them, wait for a few years and follow them. If all went well, they should have become mercenaries already."