19 A 'need' to be 'held'

"Movie Date?" Martin asked. Lila immediately realized that what she said was wrong, and so she immediately followed up with

"A friendly date!".

Martin believed her reasoning. Making her silently sigh in relief. Lucian watched this on the sideline, and can't help but laugh at Lila who had been trying so hard since earlier.

"Uh right! It's a double-friendly date. I'll pair up with Martin. You heard that right, Martin?!"

"And you, Sherdan, you pair with Lucian!." She said, more like, ordered. Her voice definitely sounds like she won't back away no matter what.

Martin, Sherdan, and Lucian just agreed with whatever she wants, this way, things will be much simpler. Although Lucian's the most reluctant one.

The four of them went to buy a movie ticket, and decided to watch a popular movie called "The Hows of Us".

It was a story about a young couple, Primo and George, who dreams of growing old together. This couple met in a debate, and they clicked. Primo is someone whose addicted to music, that's his dream, and his goal. While George is more responsible and is more focused on her studies.

Lucian looked at the synopsis, and couldn't help himself from looking at Sherdan's way. This seems similar to 'his' story.

He felt his heart throbbing from pain. Lucian knows that Sherdan had probably forgotten how to feel 'sadness' from things that involves his and Friedde's past life. But still, looking at Sherdan who had an empty look on his eyes, makes him feel like his heart is being ripped to two.

Lucian subconsciously bit his lip, in an attempt to prevent himself from frowning. This guy, he's not alright but had long forgotten how to express himself. His emotions were pushed so deep, that even he had no idea how to pull it back up again.

The movie started, and just like how the description said, the two protagonists met each other after participating in a debate.

After that, the story moved on to when they became a couple. They both decided to live under the same roof, and divided the expenses into two. Primo tried paving his way to success in the music industry, but he couldn't. He just can't break through the walls that prevent him from moving forward.

Because of this, gigs became few. And those 'few' became none.

Primo doesn't want to quit even though earning a living from music alone had become impossible. The result of this is that George had to shoulder the payments to their expenses all by herself.

George is a pretty responsible and supportive woman. So despite Primo being unable to give his financial support due to his persistence to continue his band, she didn't stop him. Instead of becoming a hindrance, she supported him.

However, there is no such thing as a smooth-sailing path. Every path is a bumpy road. And the two of them eventually reached their endpoint.

Lucian felt his eyes moistening from the scene. It was a rainy day, and the couple was unable to pay for the electrical bill. It was George's birthday, but the only thing they got on the table is a cake she took out from another people's birthday party.

George was worn out, and tired. She wanted to eat together with Primo to celebrate her birthday, but Primo had already become too grumpy from the constant rejection he received towards his music. So instead of silently spending time together during George's birthday, the two of them ended up quarreling.

"I'm tired, Primo," George said. Her lips held a sad smile, and tears continued streaming down her eyes. She was so devastated, she was already on the verge of collapsing.

Coming this far is already enough for others to respect her love for Primo.

"You're tired?." Primo asked. His eyes were soulless.

His 'passion' that he had been fighting for, became the very reason that made him lose both his 'life' and his love.

As years passed, the things that made George fell in love with him were the same things that made her fall out of love.

" I am tired. I'm tired of telling mom I'm okay. I'm tired of hoping that when I wake up, the Primo I loved is back. I'm tired of expecting that you'll finally keep your promise. I'm tired of defending you from them." George said, her eyes had now turned red.

"I believed in you. And that's my greatest mistake."

"Just leave, please. Just leave."

Lucian was silent after the movie. His nose and eyes had become visibly red from crying so much. And Lila wasn't any better either, even after they came out of the cinema, she was still bawling loudly. The movie traumatized her but made her see the realities in life. Making her afraid of whimsically entering a relationship.

She planned to instigate both Sherdan and Lucian to flirt by subtly and secretly creating circumstances for them. But she had completely forgotten about it. All she did was cry, and lament Primo and George's painful fallout.

She had realized something if a couple that both consensually devoted themselves to each other can still break apart. Then what more are the couples that are forced together?

Lila sighed, she really should stop with her antics of pushing Lucian to Sherdan just to get rid of Lucian's cowardliness.

If something will really come true, then it will eventually happen without her interference. If she intervenes now, it might push them apart, rather than push them towards each other.

"I'll go now then. Bye bye. See you all in Martin's birthday!." Lila waved, and then entered their private transportation vehicle. Since the Central Town's Mall is far from the school, she can't possibly walk back home.

Martin, Sherdan and Lucian was left together.

But it didn't become awkward, since Martin is like Lila, an easy-going type of person who always have very interesting topics to talk about.

Sherdan offered to drive them both to their homes since he brought the car, the two of them agreed.

Inside the car, Lucian can't help but think about the movie they watched earlier. And his mind drifted to Sherdan of the past.

Sherdan have no one else aside from Friedde who he can rely on. Imogen was never a choice. Sherdan had long decided that Imogen will be stayed clear of company and adult matters, to prevent her from losing her youth like Sherdan.

He couldn't rely on Sean, Arice and Martin after they had a fall out. So he was emotionally dependent on Friedde. But that guy, that guy!.

Lucian couldn't keep his fist from clenching. He was really irritated. His 16-year-old self only sees Friedde as a despicable cheating scum, but never really hated him much when it was the one in charge of this body's consciousness before. But that's not the case for his 32-year-old self.

Lucian absolutely abhor all he did.

After all, he did make Sherdan 'traumatized'.

Sherdan noticed Lucian's angry look. He subconsciously raised his hand, and touched Lucian's knitted forehead.

Making Lucian so surprised that he had forgotten about his anger towards Friedde in an instant. Sherdan was surprised too, his arms had already move before his mind did.

He took back his misbehaving hands and avoided Lucian's gaze. Lucian raised his hands, and his palm touched his forehead.

That made him, a little happy.

Weird.

Two days quickly kicked off and Mrtin's birthday came. Everyone prepared themselves, they all wore elegant dresses. The theme of the birthday party is a 'masquerade party'.

This wasn't actually the original theme, but Martin saw a manhwa with the debutante and guests wearing cool masks, so he wanted to try it. And he did.

He's not even a debutant yet, but he's already celebrating grandiosely.

Sherdan walked inside the reception area. He's wearing the standard color needed, a black suit jacket that is buttonless. Inside it is a thin white v-neck shirt with a deep cut. Exposing his chest a little.

His toned and above-average built complements the vibe his suit gives. It looks beautiful. It suits him perfectly because of his handsome face and his smooth, curly jet-black hair.

His lips were a bit red and his complexion's a little pale. All black outfits seem great when he wears it. He walked towards the reception and checked in on the guest's log.

He then grabbed one of the masks that are handed out for those that didn't bring one. It was a black mask that covers his eyes to the bridge of his nose. Like it has a bird's peck.

Lucian came too, he was wearing a black button-down long sleeves paired with black pants and a black ledge boots. This outfit made him look chic.

Sherdan and Lucian looks like they agreed on a color pattern. But it was merely a coincidence.

This dark outfit made everyone glance their way.

It didn't take long before Sean and, Lila and Arice came.

Lila looks eye catching with her dress. She's wearing a Golden Backless dress that only goes a little above her knees. It has a round neck pattern with a mini tulle skirt.

The back is tied using a bowed knot.

However, that only caught Sherdan and Lucian's attention for a mere second, as they ended up staring at the person beside Arice.

Lucian felt his blood boiling. Seeing this guy at school irritates him, but he can't possibly fight with him for a reason only Sherdan and him knows. And also, it will only end up with him being called out as overly nosy.

But right now, for some reason. He really couldn't stand this guy whose shamelessly clinging on Arice's arms.

Lucian glanced at Sherdan, wanting to check whether he's mad or what. But Sherdan still held a blank look in his face. It was uncaring, impassive, and indifferent.

Lucian wondered to himself. This should be right.

This should be what Sherdan feels towards that guy, 'nothing'.

But why?

Why is he sad for Sherdan?.

Clearly, Sherdan wasn't visibly affected even after seeing this scene.

Lucian bit his lip, he actually knows the answer to that.

Sherdan wasn't visibly affected, after all even Sherdan himself is probably unaware that this is wrong, as he had been so used to seeing Friedde constantly cheating with his own eyes.

Sherdan only glanced at Arice and Friedde for a second, and eventually ignore them, like they were mere pebbles on the road. Arice laughed because of this. But Friedde felt sour.

He can't accept it! He won't ever!.

How can Sherdan not show any reaction even after seeing him together with his own friend?!. That can't be!.

No! He should be jealous by now!.

Friedde's grip around Arice arms tightened. Arice saw his mortified expression, and a grin broke out in his face.

Aah, truly an entertaining thing. His efforts didn't go to waste.

"Are you alright?" Arice asked. His emotions shifted quickly. He made his voice appeared extremely worried. Friedde looked at Arice, his gaze shows that 'he had been wronged'. Arice almost wanted to laugh, but prevented himself with great difficulty.

"W-what's wrong? Is there anything you want?" Arice said, coaxing Friedde. His hands gently rubbing Friedde's back.

Sean, all throughout this sudden sequence of events was frozen stiff. He gritted his teeth. Bitterness pouring in his heart.

He should have known. He shouldn't have expected anything.

He lowered his head, and left. He couldn't bear to watch this.

Arice notice him acting like this, and his heart beat loudly. But before he could even excuse himself, Friedde had already clung into him even tighter.

"Don't leave me okay?" Friedde asked. His voice sounding like a weak girl. Arice was disgusted.

A boy that acts like a girl, denies homosexuality like it's a plague, but two time between two guys. Rather than an 'undecided' guy, he must be hypocrite. No, that's not right, 'he is a hypocrite', no doubt.

Arice almost wanted to strangle him to death.

Of course, Arice is just kidding.

"Yes. Of course. I'll be here always."

"I'll never leave you." Not now.

At the very least.