Chapter 1

I doubt I will ever write this physically. Or that anyone will ever see it. But if I ever do, know that this was written to keep me sane. Or more accurately, to keep me... me. To remember my journey. To help me remember how it all felt. At least a little. For however much that might be worth. I have found myself unable to connect emotionally with my past. I remember what happened, it just doesn't feel like it happened to me. The emotional connection is simply no longer there. The only way I have found to care about what has happened is to view my past as the story of another. As the past of a different me, separate from the current me. And so that is how I will remember it.

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The dreamer didn't realize he was awake at first. All he could see was green, and a weakness crept through his thoughts. But the weakness didn't feel right. It felt like a barrier separating body and mind, preventing recognition or movement. The barrier weakened as a numb sense of loss roared through his bones, like something was gone, but it no longer mattered. Or perhaps, like a book had ended. It was a shame it was over, but there was always another to read. His introspection was interrupted by a tingling in the back of his eyes. The dreamer felt a familiar sensation sweep across his mind.

A voice just out of hearing sang to him of welcome, of paths yet walked, and choices to be made. It felt like himself, but he knew it wasn't. Like it was once a part of him, but it became something else, something different than the whole. More like a bridge, only given purpose by what it connects. He instinctively referred to it as The Harmony. It whispered to him of choices, a vague feeling of potential left to be used. Of accomplishments rewarded, and karma paid. First of which was a name.

The Harmony sang a chorus of a life lived and lost, of the past tallied and actions judged. The life of a child that dreamed of more, even as what it had fell to the wayside. A life cut too soon, all that it could have been lost and forgotten. And it spoke a name in judgement. Iluso felt strange, feeling more of his body and how little it matched his memory. The Harmony continued.

Iluso felt options drift through his mind as his eyes cleared. The harmony whispered of the elements his past self had a connection to, thundered through his mind on the potential his body could have, and quietly let the thought of his soul drift through his mind. As the barrier broke down completely it asked him for his choice.

Iluso could finally feel his body. And he wasn't human. He had a tiny pink nose between his eyes, and two paws instead of arms. As his senses cleared he noticed he was lying in grass, and he had two things squirming up against him, with a much bigger thing licking him clean. He was a dark and light grey kitten. His new mother looked similar to a lynx with the size of a tiger, with his two new siblings being smaller more adorable versions.

The Harmony started becoming more urgent, a ringing growing between his ears. It urged him to make his choice, struck through him a rumble of required action. Iluso quickly decided. A low affinity to illusion, a minor increase in his body's potential, and a petty increase in the strength of his soul. The harmony sang acceptance and change, and Iluso felt the change rush trough him. The fur he could see slowly shifted, the edges between the two grays blurring and drawing away his eyes. His body felt slightly more awake and stronger, and his mind felt clearer.

As The Harmony started to fade, it struck one final chord, a brand of karma imprinted on his soul. Iluso immediately knew the name and purpose of the brand. A mark on his soul representing a life once lived. [Scholar's Temple]. A Soul Skill that allowed him to create a mental library where he can use his willpower to create books. The Skill required him to personally write any information he wants them to contain himself, but once the information is written down it will not be forgotten.

For some reason neither his siblings or mother noticed the change, his mother kept giving him a bath and his siblings kept squirming everywhere. He noticed they kept trying to look everywhere in curiosity, as if they had never seen any of it before. A whisper caressed the back of his mind, that this is their first day of sight, the same as him.

Iluso felt his mother rise and stretch as his siblings sprang away to play. Finally able to move, he stood to get a look at his surroundings. He was in a vast clearing of grass, a circle of trees surrounding it. In the center of the clearing a strange tree grew. What looked to be a cloud flowed between its branches and water dribbled down its trunk into a small pond. Iluso felt a small nudge in his side. His mother gazed down at him, wondering why he hadn't run to play.