2 Time To Say 'Goodbye'

Akira's POV

"Mommy! Mommy! Look!"

The hauling breeze cruised with a lonely feeling to it. Or is it just me?

My hair swayed to the direction of the wind as my tired eyes stared blankly at my destination.

I've always been calm. That's the way I am. Suck it up, no one needs to hear your problems, others have their own to worry about.

Be strong. Don't show any weakness. That has been my motto over the years. Those are the principles that this world has carved into me.

If you show any sign of weakness, you are as good as dead but under that facade lies a storm filled with all kinds of chaos and uncertainties.

'Don't let it show'.

Keeping constant patrol on my emotions left me peering onwards to see things... black and white. I controlled it for way too long and my decisions came to haunt me in my dreams.

Now the world I knew had crumbled, left to dazed upon the crossroads set before me.

How was life going to be from now...?

The empty feeling and the blank emotion was not strange or unexpected but the dull pain in my chest remained everlasting.

All that is engraved in my mind was the tombstone that stood before me.

"You promised me!"

My jaws tightened as a sole tear-stained my cheek with a pained expression was written on my face.

'You promised!' Those words echoed across the fields as an earthy scent washes over my senses. My nails dug into my skin, leaving red marks on my forearm as I bit my lip.

My orbs lost all the life that was in them a long time ago and do you know the worst part?

The fact that after crying and crying your heart out, you come to realize when how useless your calls are.

They will never come back... And the pain just lives on...

One of the hardest things to do in life is to say goodbye to those you hold dear to your heart.

I know that feeling all too well.

Moments are burned deep into my memory.

Lady Chelsea Celestine

Born April 25th, XX78

Died March 3rd, X114

A leader, a wife, a teacher, a friend and most importantly my mother.

Tracing back the step, it all seems like yesterday that my world came crashing down.

A year ago...

The soft music of the orchestra swooned the mood of the evening, the large hall grandly decorated with exquisite taste. Nobles from far and wide filled this magnificent party hosted by the make-belief couple. My parents. Or so it was?

My legs swayed back and fore as excitement coursed through my veins. I don't like these kinds of things. They are just filled with fake people ready to scoop low for power. All looking for social connections and not caring about the latter. It just disgusting watching them.

Can't believe I'll be standing in that crowd in the future. Though forget about that because that isn't why I decided to climb a tree. No. It's because of that...

Descending from the stairs was a man dress in a red tuxedo, white shirt and a darker vest with a dashing smile marring his features. His golden blonde hair and blue eyes shined beautifully under the chandelier, his firm built and young looks made the noblewomen shoot daggers at the woman who was in his arms.

A transcendent beauty indeed, possessing long lavish black hair with the top half braided and the bottom left to flow down, reaching her hip. Her ruby eyes were a perfect epitome of the gem itself. Her dress themed with the same colour as the latter, red. A puffy off shoulder floral lace dress that elegantly flowed to the ground.

My Parents...

It's been long since I've seen them like this. The house these days feel more like a graveyard than a home.

It melts my heart seeing them like this even if it was only for the evening it's still worth it.

I wish it can stay like this forever...

The party commenced as the main hosts arrived, moving on to social groups and the rest.

Tsk... the only thing that would make me go to a party is food, everything else is on the never to-do list.

Catching my attention again was the beautiful couple. I wished I was there to see them face to face. Especially, my father, it's a rare occasion to see him. It wasn't like this before. He has always there.

Did I do something to upset him? Did I anger him? Does he not love me anymore?

He never looks me in the eye, gives the same treatment to my mother. Then it became a habit of mine to not looking at him either. Everything about it felt wrong. It was off. One day, he was the loving father I knew and admired, then the next he gives us cold shoulders.

My face was grim and sobber.

What happened to you father?

The thoughts that came after only lead me to a depressing path.

I shuck my head furiously and slapped my cheeks to pull me back to reality.

'No!' Stop thinking that!

Instantly, a scream pierced through the air catching my immediate attention. What displayed before me, was my nightmares come to reality.

My mother stood in shock and stared at her hand with a horrid expression. Blood streaming down from her nose and mouth with droplets falling to her palms. Her eyes roll back into their sockets as she lost her footing. The strength in her body weakens causing her to fall back to be caught by my father in the last second.

The crowd grew silent, only the marching steps of knights and healers could be heard.

All my being was frozen, unable to think. I wanted to help yet my body wouldn't let me.

After that night my mother was in a coma for 3 weeks. Her health greatly diminished after then.

Those three weeks let me ponder about my life from the before years. Anticipation and desperation toiled with my emotions as I sat by her bedside day long.

Remembering those days now makes me want to cry but I have to be strong for her. I don't see father here after the incident and that hurt. A lot.

I remember those days... We were like cat and mouse, she and I.

On a normal day, she would go to the library after I dragged her along with me. Then to the kitchen where we make her special homemade sweets. Then she would ban me from taking any, just to get more for herself.

Greedy woman! After all my effort! That is an injustice to my sweet tooth!

She behaves more childish than me and I'm thirteen! Sometimes I wonder whose the adult between the both of us.

But ah... My bag of tricks isn't over yet. Do I sound like the type of person who will be like "Oh, don't worry you can take have it, even after my sweat and blood just to get the recipe right, I am humble enough to give you my sweets even if I have been craving for it for days." yeah right. I sure paid her back by adding potions to it that change the colour of her skin and made her hiccup fire every ten seconds.

That's what you get for keeping me away from my sweets. My own personal comedy show. Now I just do it to prank her.

We would regularly sneak out in commoners' wear to the city. Which is useless since she always announces "we're leaving" to the household before we're out the door. 'So why sneak?' Is the main question there.

It's strange to say I question my mother's mentally but don't we at times?

There are a lot of untold mysteries of this world and my mother's history is one of them. Her past is so vague to me but when it comes down to what I know. Her knowledge is like no other I have met.

She is well vast in the knowledge of martial arts, magic and mana, academia works and proper etiquette. Which is bone-breaking!

I'm a frustrated happy student.

Happy: cause she is my teacher and frustrated: cause she is my teacher.

So she decides to be a guru and blast me away with her knowledge and wisdom. Which I didn't ask for!

After all her qualities, one that interests me the most is her leadership skills. I can't place my hand on it. The way she fluently moves, her actions, the way she speaks, everything about her compels me.

I guess it's easy to say I look up to her no matter how she seems mentally unstable she seems to me.

Then it all changed, not like life was great before all this but at least we were happy.

Her face looked paler than usual and her temperature continued to rise.

The woman always tries to keep a bold face and continuously push herself over her limits. If not that her Personal maid (who is also her best friend) and I always force her to rest. Eventually, she stayed in bed most of the time with me by her side.

I guess we realized this too late how bad the situation was.

Things were all lot more serious than we thought and every day I would always wish that things would go back to the way it was.

Before all this...

Light magic apart from being hard to find even though its not a legendary magic class is also hard to master. Which wasn't what I wanted to hear at my mother's state.

Doctor after doctor, day after day, her health didn't get any better only worse. The main fact and the worst of it all is that they don't even know what was causing it.

It was hard, seeing her suffer like this...

She laid on the bed with her back supported by pillows. Her eyes had dark circle under them. Her breathing was heavy like she gasping for air. She would shiver tremendously even if it was the hottest day in history. But according to her, she felt like her guts would melt from the blazing heat in them. She coughed out some blood at least expected times. It became a habit as time went by.

Although weak, she tries to keep on a smile but I can see right through it. I know how she truly feels.

This state of hers...

It scares me to my very core.

And I can't do anything about it. Her, on the verge of dying and every day, seems like the last and all I can do is...watch... I feel so unless in the situation.

Tears form in my eyes every time I walk into the room, seeing her suffer. The bitter memory haunts my dreams and it seems I can even hear her heart screaming for help as the days go by.

The confident face I wear outside shatters to pieces everything I walk in. My temperament changes every time I see her. Like a lost child looking for their mother in a crowded city. Where each turn is confusing and you don't know what to do.

I can't lose her, I don't want to lose her. She is the only family I have. The one who cares about me in the messed-up world.

Realizing that my eyes became crystal red to the point that tears were about to drop from them. Her hands cupped my flustered cheeks then swiped the tears from the corners of my eyes with the pad of her thumbs.

A weak smile forms on her lips, telling me not to worry. Which makes the tears come even further.

"My little star gem."

That stupid pet name she keeps calling me always gets on my nerve even if she is not in her best state.

"Please stop wasting your tears on me. It hurts me, seeing you like this. And I can't help but feel that it's all my fault." She frowns as she sadly stated that comment.

How can she think that?! This isn't about me! It's about you!

"No, it's not!" My voice screams with a croaky tone due to all kinds of mixed emotions playing with my heart. "Don't say that. You have been strong for this long. You can make it! You must!"

It was clear on her face that she felt pain not physical but emotional.

"Oh, star gem" her sad pained smile is embedded in my mind. Like she gave up.

She forces herself off the bed...

"No mom, please lay down!" She ignores my words (now I know where I got my stubbornness from) and started to talk, looking straight in my eyes.

"Look dear... I'm only strong for you. Cause I don't want you to feel the way you do right now. I only pretend to be strong for you. I guess you've caught up to it. I am sorry for putting you through all this." She placed her forehead on mine with her hands on my rosy cheeks.

"Mom"

I saw the life slipping out of her eyes.

"Please promise me, you will be strong. At least... stronger than me. I was weak-hearted and didn't try enough." She had this 'shut up, don't oppose me. I'm being dramatic here' kind of look.

I would chuckle if the times were different. Her face was serious.

"Mom?"

"You are the future of this household. You are my legacy. The best thing I have ever had. What makes me smile even if I'm in my darkest moments. My light. My beautiful flower. My little star gem. Cause you embody the light that is out of my reach and far away from my fingertips, no matter how much I stretch out my arms.

You are an extremely talented and amazing young woman. You are bright and intelligent and I'm so fortunate to have you as my family. To have this family."

I grabbed her wrists as my lips trembled.

"Mom, you are going to make it." The river started to flow again.

Those words sounded more like they were reassuring myself than her.

She smiles weakly.

"I can't keep fighting the fact that I have no strength left in me. I didn't want to disappoint you, I didn't want to fall behind your expectation and most importantly, I don't want to leave your side. That is the greatest pain I can ever imagine as a mother. So please don't make this any harder. My time is up."

I flinched as her words replayed my mind.

'My time is up'?

I decided to ignore the obvious facts because I don't wanna lose her. I know she is leaving but I don't wanna let go...

No! Dad, please come back, we need you here... With us! Please!

I bit my lips.

She puts her hands over her mouth and coughed out blood. The crimson liquid made splattered prints across my face. Some got on my clothes.

My body froze in place, my mind was not able to process the scene laid before me.

NOOO!!!!

Her arms engulfed me into her embrace.

"Mom!" I held onto her cloth.

"I love you, Akira."

"I love you too, mom." I hiccupped.

Her grip on me tightens and a wet substance lands on my temple. Then she placed a light kiss on my forehead.

She gently releases me from her arms as she does, I could see her red eyes slowly turning lifeless.

I don't want to let her go, I am not going to let her go!

She falls back in the ground, weak everywhere.

I held her in my arms using one to support her back and the other on her shoulder. Gently placing her on the floor. Her breathing began to slow down. Her fingers stroked the lurks of my hair then pats my head.

"It will be okay."

"No, it can't be without you!"

"Akira," she said softly. Tilting her head slightly.

My eyes burned deep into hers.

"Well, what am I supposed to say?! You taught me how to live...

but not how to live without you." My lips quivered, the tears clouded my sight.

"Don't worry about me, you have a life to live. Go out there and make me proud!" Giving me a  closed eye smile. "Please promise me, you will not change how you look."

"Mom, there are other things to worry about, that is not important."

"It is important to me!"

"Mom"

I realized what she was talking about, I look exactly like her.

"I wish you, a good life, please be happy and have a joyful life." She says softly smiling. Her eyes close, she is still smiling.

"Mom?"

"Open your eye!"

"Wake up!"

"Mom, please wake up!"

"Mom?!"

I shuck her but she wasn't responding.

Then I knew it, she was gone, she has left me. I won't be able to see her again. I won't be able to hear her voice. I won't have more memories of the times we had together.

Her body lifeless laid there in my arms, with blood in her mouth and a weak smile on her face.

No...it can't...be...

She's...

She's...

A sharp pain burns deep inside my chest.

You promised!

"YOU PROMISED!"

Seems like the rain is my new best friend.