11 CH - 9 - American Duos - Part - One

[INT. BACKSTAGE AT THE AFTERSCHOOL TALENT SHOW - 1987]

Behind the curtain, We see a kid running vocal scales. His hair is sprayed with perfect 80's flair. He looks in the mirror and holds up the LP cover of Tears For Fears' Songs From the Big Chair --lovingly comparing his look to singer Roland Orzabal.

[Roland Orzabal]

Another kid rushes in, wearing a matching Michael Jackson fake leather pants and jacket and one glued-on sparkle glove.

Curious the Kid asks "What are you doing, Gus? The Michael Jackson outfit?!?! That's like, two years old!"

The who we now know as GUS seemingly in panis answers "I got scared."

The other kid grabs another PICTURE and shoves it in Gus' face. It's Billy Ocean in an all-white suit. And says irritatedly, "You were supposed to be Billy Ocean! Where's your white suit?"

[Billy Ocean in an all-white suit]

Gus replies " I looked like the 7-Up guy! Shawn the 7-Up guy"

[The 7-Up guy ]

The other kid who we now know is named SHAWN counters "He's bald and like, over a hundred! Why would Michael Jackson sing with Roland Orzabal?"

Gus counters " Why would Billy Ocean sing with Roland Orzo-- orzo-- "

Shawn corrects by saying "Orzabal! Now we have to add a moonwalk into Shout and hope the judges don't slam us for it... "

Gus remembering something adds " I don't know how to moonwalk. "

Shawn with urgency in his voice says " Then learn it. Quick. " As he heads through the curtain...

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[INT. AUDITION ROOM - DAY - 2008]

--We see a pair of Singers stand breathlessly, waiting. Seated at a table across from them is NIGEL ST. NIGEL, smug and articulate, looks at them squarely and speaks without pause

[Pic of Nigel ST. Nigel]

St. Nigel emotionless in his delivery says " ...you're stiff. Inarticulate. Slightly jaundiced. Asymmetrical. You smell. The one on the right, there's something in your teeth. All in all, I'd say there's absolutely nothing worthwhile about either one of you..."

The pair of singers stand, shell-shocked. Finally, one of them is able to muster a response. "But we haven't even sang yet." Nigel considers this. but then replies " Apples and Oranges. " He looks to the other judges, henpecked ROCKWELL and slightly loopy and self-medicated former pop star EMILINA SAFFRON.

[Pic of Rockwell]

[Pic of Emilina Saffron]

ST. Nigel continues "I've seen enough. Anybody else?" to which Emilina replies slightly droopy " I like them."

ST. Nigel replies " Of course you like them, you've been asleep for the last 45 minutes. Rockwell?" he turns to the other judge who just was starting to speak. But before he could utter a sound-- ST. Nigel says " Good. Moving on."

[INT. PSYCH OFFICE - SANTA BARBARA]

We see] GUS and SHAWN watching this exchange on television, Gus with bated breath, while Shawn is disgusted...

Shawn interjects by saying " You see? This is why-- " but immediately a sound " Shusssiizziitt!" Interrupts Shawn from saying anything.

But Shawn not giving in says "You're shushing me? For reality television? Are you serious--" but " Shuuuuuussssss!" Shawn tries "Dude --"

Again only to be met with " Shzzt!!"

Shawn recoils, slightly disturbed. The show goes into a commercial. As the American Duos logo pops up, Gus finally takes his eyes off the screen and turns to Shawn who has a you serious bro look on his face and says " Rule one, Shawn, no talking during Duos"

Hearing this Shawn counters " Gus, use the pause button once, please, for the love of Lori Loughlin. Why did we get TiVo if we don't fast forward and I'm never allowed to stop for commentary?

[Loir Loughlin]

Gus says "The show is intended to be watched straight through, there's a rhythm--

Shawn replies "Like when they do the personal segments about how they were born in a giant corn silo and named all their pigs after characters from Big Valley -- you're right, it's like really, really good jazz." the sarcasm is evident in the tone.

Suddenly, the phone rings. Shawn jumps up. Gus reminds him " Whoa, no calls either." Shawn pleads "Gus this show is nothing more than a knockoff of the other knockoff of the other knockoff show. They've got the standard cranky Brit, the crazy former pop star. How many of these processed shows are you going to get suckered into???"

Gus argues " The contestants in this one are DUOS, which makes it way more compelling because they have to mesh, become one soul, like V-ger and Stephen Collins in Star Trek I, and... they're shooting parts in Santa Barbara and New York this year so it more than compensates. (it rings again) Don't you dare answer that?"

Shawn looking at caller I.D. says " It's Juliet." Gus still doesn't budge. So he continues to make a case for picking it up "She might be bleeding and in a ditch." Gus counters "She's not in a ditch." Shawn not letting off " Then maybe she's lonely and in the shower. Either way, it's a win, except for the ditch one..."

Gus still mulling the imagery asks "She has a shower phone?" "I certainly hope so," says Shawn

He answers. Listens for one second.

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[EXT. BUILDING - AMERICAN DUOS - AUDITIONS - NIGHT]

We see a Car come to a halt nearby. Out comes Noah in a jovial mood and enters the building as he enters he sees a familiar face on the TV screen in front of him and laughs at the same time a lady standing a few feet away from him drops her radio which see was holding in her hand in shock. But Noah chooses to ignore this and continues to watch.

On the screen we see....

ST. Nigel looking ever so bored saying " Bring in the next two contestants."

The door opens, in walk... Shawn and Gus.

"Hello." greets Gus

Nigel can't believe what he's seeing. Emilina inexplicably has a high-heeled shoe on the table in front of her. She looks at one of her "stock question" note cards and asks "What do you two hope to get out of this competition?"

To which Shawn replies " We just hope to be here long enough to do something great." while saying so he winks at Nigel.

"Well, round one is the most diffi..." Emiliana starts saying this but then trails off. Lost in some thought we'll never know. So Nigel steps in and says " Why don't you go ahead?" To which Shawn replies " Sure thing. I have a feeling we're gonna blow you away."

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Noah had just finished seeing Shawn and Gus singing a capella. It's slightly reminiscent of an A-ha hit from 1986. And well it was interesting for sure. He was Whelmed to be precise.

Noah waiting hears "Oye.... boy genius glad you could make it" Hearing this Noah turns to see the familiar face and replies "It's been a long time Spencer"

Shawn hearing this corrects him with a slight disgust like he is about to vomit" Shawn, Spencer is my Dad. How many times have I told you that."

" Spencer makes for a better tease and even I have told you not to call me BOY GENIUS" Noah replies

Shawn completely ignores this and goes on to introduce his friend beside him " Anyway this here is my friend 'Scrouge Jones'" for which Gus does a namaste gesture.

Noah smiles at this and replies " You must be Gus, heard a lot about you from Shawn here."

Gus enquires "All good things I hope" to which Noah doesn't reply but instead shows a pitiful look, making Gus look towards Shawn questioningly. After a small pause asks " Shawn ... you said good things about me right??"

Shawn completely ignores the question and goes on to introduce the lady next to him " This lovely lady here is.... "

"...Juliet O'Hara, Santa Barbara Police Department " Juliet completes.

" Police Department ...." Questions Noah.

"Yaa that's a long story..."Shawn says and goes on to explain....

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