1 A Second Chance at Life

In the early hours of the morning, when the sun still hadn't come out, the air was cool and refreshing. Spring had finally arrived, and many flowers were beginning to bloom, their brilliant petals breathing life to the Great General Manor.

Especially inside the Rising Phoenix Courtyard, the residence that had originally belonged to Langhua¹ junzhu² and where the second young miss now lived.

A gentle breeze swept over this luxurious courtyard, and through an open window of a spacious boudoir. The light blue curtains that surrounded the platform bed swayed in the air, revealing a sleeping young woman with an icy beauty to her.

But just as a floral fragrance floated to her nose, her eyebrows furrowed.

Hyacinths were her favorite flowers. After moving into Zhao Luan's residence, she'd ordered them to be planted all throughout the courtyard.

But ever since marrying into the Eastern Palace³, it'd been at least five years since she had last smelled them.

So why would she smell them now? Wasn't she in the imperial dungeons, awaiting her—

Zhao Shuang sprang up, a hand pressed firmly against her pounding heart. She let out a shuddering breath, her back drenched in cold sweat as the last moments of her past life flashed in her mind.

Two days ago, she had woken up just like this, overwhelmed that she was still alive.

And not just alive, but reborn to a time when she still hadn't become the crown princess, five years before her death.

When her heart finally slowed down, Zhao Shuang parted the curtains and stood up from the bed. After putting on her embroidered shoes and using a blue ribbon to tie back half of her long hair, she walked towards the window.

Outside, the limestone corridors were peaceful in the blue hours of dawn. Well-tended lotus ponds gleamed under the light from the lanterns, and white and purple hyacinths were already in full bloom everywhere.

Zhao Shuang closed her eyes as another breeze passed by.

This is a new life, Zhao Shuang, a second chance to atone for your sins.

A second chance to let go of the past life's hatred, and to find your own happiness.

Opening her eyes once more, she took in a deep breath full of the sweet fragrance of hyacinths.

At this moment the double doors to the room opened behind her. Zhao Shuang turned to see her two maidservants entering.

Xiang Lan, with her usual solemn frown, greeted her with a simple nod. Then, she went to set down a large food box on the table where Zhao Shuang usually ate her meals.

The other one, He Ying, giggled as she approached with a copper basin in her hands.

"Young miss, you're awake before us again!"

Zhao Shuang nodded, allowing He Ying to serve her in washing her face and rinsing her mouth. Then, she sat down at the table, where several dishes were already spread out. But before she began to eat, she watched as Xiang Lan carefully inserted silver needles in each of the dishes.

One after the other, none of the needles reacted.

Her lips formed a thin line. Something wasn't right. She was going to visit the palace today, it was stranger if neither of the side branches made a move.

There must be something they were missing.

Zhao Shuang's eyes swept over the table. It couldn't be the bowl of lotus and lily porridge, nor the goblet of Eight Treasures chicken soup. The needles would have reacted. And anything added to the platter of sautéed vegetables wasn't guaranteed to work for amateurs such as them.

So what was left?

Her gaze landed on the teapot at the far end, steam still rising from its spout.

She smiled slightly. Of course. "He Ying, pour me a cup of the tea."

He Ying bowed, and went to do so.

Once a teacup was in her hands, Zhao Shuang lifted the lid and only took a single whiff before putting it firmly back on the table. A crisp sound echoed in the otherwise silent room.

Her smile was more pronounced now, but it wasn't a pleasant one.

There was one thing she hadn't missed about living in the Great General Manor: the constant guarding against the side branches. Since she had poisoned Zhao Luan at fifteen and gotten her sent away from the manor, almost no days had passed without a hidden attack from either branch.

It was more than likely they'd viewed her as an easy target, once the real opposition was gone.

One they could slowly remove at their leisure. Even when all their attempts were thwarted again and again, they never stopped trying. She'd only been free from their schemes after marrying into the imperial family, which was a whole other battlefield.

Her smile withered. It was only what she deserved, to barely have a peaceful moment after stealing a life that wasn't meant to be hers.

"Young miss, are you all right?"

Zhao Shuang looked up to meet He Ying and Xiang Lan's worried gazes. With a shake of her head, she told them to only discard the tea. Then she picked up her chopsticks and brought one of those delicious-looking vegetables to her own plate.

But as she slowly ate, her gaze couldn't help drifting to her servants: Xiang Lan's stern, yet gentle gaze, He Ying's ever-cheerful smile, the sincere way they cared for her...

While lost in thought, she heard He Ying teasing her: "Young miss, why have you been staring at us so much lately? Did you finally realize how amazing these servants are?"

Her voice was bright and airy as usual, but Zhao Shuang could detect a layer of worry underlining He Ying's words.

From the side, Xiang Lan sent her younger counterpart a severe glare. "That is no way to speak to the young miss."

"You're always so serious, Sister Lan." He Ying rolled her eyes as she pushed the platter closer to Zhao Shuang. "If this servant weren't around, you'd probably bore the young miss to tears!"

"He Ying!"

At this point, Zhao Shuang's lips twitched as she tried to hold back. But a laugh still escaped - one that rang clearly in the air, not weighed down by any bitter notes.

Then, she raised her eyebrows when she found them staring at her: "What, does this young miss have something on my face?"

Xiang Lan and He Ying exchanged stunned glances, clearly neither of them knew what to say. As the atmosphere became awkward, Zhao Shuang turned her attention back to the food with a wry twist of her lips.

Of course they were surprised.

In the past life, she had never been close to either of her maids, and most of the things she said to them were orders. Even when they talked or bickered amongst themselves, Zhao Shuang usually remained silent with a frosty expression on her face.

Never would she have laughed so freely in their presence.

But this is a new life, she reminded herself with a smile, setting down her chopsticks.

One that would be wasted if she remained the same.

After the table was cleared, Zhao Shuang cleared her throat to get their attention. When He Ying and Xiang Lan stood before her, patient and attentive as usual, she examined them once again.

These girls, not much older than her, were practically her sisters — something she had slowly realized over these past two days. Ever since she'd arrived at the Great General Manor at the young age of twelve, they had sincerely remained by her side all this time.

Her eyes shone. In this life, she would not only protect them, but repay a thousand times the kindness she'd failed to appreciate.

"Before we enter the palace, I would like to say a few words." She took a deep breath, and began, "He Ying, Xiang Lan, the both of you have followed me for many years."

Her maids nodded hesitantly, confusion coloring their gazes.

Zhao Shuang smiled slightly at this as she continued, "Despite the bleak conditions we lived in, you still believed in me and didn't abandon me like the rest. When the manor's servants laughed behind my back, you both defended me even knowing they would make things more difficult for you. And even when my cousins offered better positions at their sides, neither of you were tempted, remaining loyally at my side."

"That is why I want to thank you both, and to apologize for my harsh and ungrateful attitude all these years."

These last words were stiff and awkward on her tongue, her skin prickling at showing such weakness. But as Zhao Shuang took in the strange mixture of deep shock and teary happiness on their faces, the uncomfortable feeling soon faded.

It was the least she owed them, after all.

"As repayment, I will be releasing you both from my service in the near future. You will receive enough money to settle down wherever you wish, just inf-"

"Young miss!!"

Xiang Lan and He Ying's cries cut her off mid-sentence as they kneeled on the floor with a bang. Her lips parted slightly. What were they doing?

With tears brimming in her eyes, He Ying pleaded, "Young miss, please don't send us away! Did...did these servants do something wrong?"

From the side, Xiang Lan also made her own appeal, in that solemn way of hers:

"Young miss, these servants have served you all these years because we care about you. Not because we wanted something in return." Her earnest gaze implored Zhao Shuang to believe her. "Please allow these servants to remain by your side, young miss."

Zhao Shuang stiffened as she stared down at them, unsure of what to do. There was a reason for why she was doing this, beyond solely repaying them for the past life's sacrifices — it was to protect them.

"It's not that I don't want you two by my side," she finally said, reaching out to help them rise.

"Then why, young miss?" He Ying sniffled, wiping away her tears with a handkerchief.

Zhao Shuang sat back properly in her chair and studied their faces for a moment longer, before letting out a deep sigh.

"I don't want to be the crown princess anymore."

He Ying gasped, eyes wide open, while the only reaction Xiang Lan gave was a slight crease in between her brows. But Zhao Shuang knew there were likely many questions racing through their minds.

Yet, what could she say? Evidently, she couldn't tell them the truth about her rebirth, and lying after all that didn't appeal to her.

In this instance, it was better to disregard their curiosity.

"For reasons I'd rather not disclose, this young miss no longer desires that position," Zhao Shuang said, her tone brooking no questions of any sort.

Then, feeling like she was being too curt, she elaborated: "These last two days, I have sketched out a plan to bring back my older sister to the manor. Then, afterwards, I will be leaving the Zhao family." Her gaze hardened. "This is the reason why I am sending you away: I don't have the confidence I can protect you both out there."

She paused, a sinking feeling settling in her chest. To part with them, so soon after her rebirth... the words tumbled out before she could stop them.

"But...if you really want to leave with me, I will try my best. From then on, you will become my sisters, not simply my maids."

A heavy silence settled over the room once she finished, her maids gaping at her as if they couldn't believe everything they'd just heard.

Zhao Shuang only raised an eyebrow, seemingly unperturbed. But her heartbeat was thrumming in her ears, as fast as the flap of a hummingbird's wings. Why had she offered them to come with her?!

The next several minutes crawled by in utter silence.

She remained completely still, waiting. But He Ying seemed agitated, her eyes trained on the handkerchief she was fidgeting with. And Xiang Lan's frown was deeper than usual with arms tightly crossed as she contemplated her options.

Her stomach churned. Wasn't she still being selfish, asking them to leave their lives behind just for her?

Abruptly, Zhao Shuang stood up. Without looking at either of them, she went to sit in front of a large copper mirror, by the mahogany dresser.

With her back to them, her voice betrayed nothing beyond cool indifference:

"Call the rest of the servants in. The sun will soon be out, and this young miss can't be late in visiting Her Majesty."

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An hour later, a grand carriage emblazoned with the Zhao family's insignia arrived at the palace gates.

Two eunuchs came to hold down the horses, while a third placed a stool before the carriage's door. There was also a stately palace servant, well into her fifties, watching all of this happen as she patiently waited at one side.

Once the curtain was lifted, Zhao Shuang carefully descended while grasping Xiang Lan's hand. He Ying remained in the carriage as only one servant was allowed for non-royalty entering the palace.

The old palace servant instantly came forward. There was a pleasant smile on her lips as she gave a half-bow. "Welcome Miss Zhao, the Empress has been expecting you."

"Zhang-mama⁴, thank you for the trouble of waiting." Zhao Shuang's smile was much warmer than usual as she helped the old woman up.

This Zhang-mama was the most trusted servant at the empress's side. And while certainly she wasn't someone Zhao Shuang could afford to offend, after her repeated visits to the palace, she had already developed a light fondness for this servant.

It was good to see her again, after such a long time.

Zhang-mama gave a joyful laugh. "This is something this old servant volunteered to do, Miss Zhao." She gestured for them to proceed. "Now, please, let us go inside. Her Majesty is very eager to see you."

Following Zhang-mama's guidance, Zhao Shuang and her maid walked deeper into the palace. The paths were lined with luxuriant flowers in brilliant purples and reds, and the grand buildings they passed were embellished with jade and gold. Countless eunuchs and maids bowed respectfully to them on the way, their manners impeccable.

It was simply a parade of glorious yet dignified splendor, showcasing Tianshen's more than century-long reign as one of the most powerful countries of the mainland.

Soon, they arrived at Phoenix Presence Palace, an enormous and majestic place that housed the mother of the world. Once inside the grand drawing room with the calming scent of sandalwood floating through the air, Zhang-mama turned to Zhao Shuang.

"Please sit, Miss Zhao." She directed a little palace maid at the side to serve some tea. "This servant will go inside and report your arrival to Her Majesty."

Once she sat down, Zhang-mama bowed once more, then hurried to the inner rooms of the palace. Zhao Shuang took this brief respite of time to look around the room, her eyes softening at the more than familiar surroundings.

Her visits to the palace had started a few months after Zhao Luan had become too sickly and the engagement to the crown prince needed to be reconsidered. It had been set ever since her older sister's birth.

However, in reality, this engagement was only an oral decree given by the emperor.

The decree was rather vague, even. It simply stated a legitimate daughter of the Zhao family was to marry Feng Hao.

Zhao Shuang took a sip of tea, a rueful light in her eyes. This had allowed her in the past life to scheme, so that in the end it was her, not Zhao Luan, who became the crown prince's unofficial fiancée.

But, of course, it wasn't as simple as merely removing Zhao Luan from the picture.

The empress had to like her, first and foremost, to even consider her - an adopted daughter of low birth - as her only son's main wife. Even having the Zhao family's support, which was mainly the emperor's concern, wasn't enough for her.

Thus, Zhao Shuang began to enter the palace. Not only to be trained to become the future empress, but to interact with Her Majesty.

A small, but genuine smile split her lips as memories flooded her mind.

At first, her only goal had been to get the empress's approval. She had thrown herself with her usual single-minded focus into both the harsh training and to the task of appealing to Her Majesty. But they had gotten along almost instantly, and five years later, when Feng Hao finally agreed to marry the slightly old her, Zhao Shuang had long considered the empress as a second mother.

If there was one thing she would miss about being the crown princess, it was this close relationship with Her Majesty.

A voice, laced with loving fondness, suddenly broke through her thoughts.

"Why are you smiling so sadly, Shuang'er⁵?" An annoyed huff. "Has that brat Hao'er said something hurtful once again?!"

❄️

¹Langhua (琅华): A title meaning 'beautiful and radiant'.

²junzhu (郡主): Technically third-ranked princess, but for the story's purposes it will be second-ranked princess. A rank usually given to a daughter of a first-rank prince or princess.

³Eastern Palace (东宫): Residence of the crown prince.

⁴-mama (嬤嬤): A form of address for an elderly servant woman.

⁵[Name]'er: A form of nickname used to express closeness and intimacy, frequently used with loved ones, family and children/younger people, especially with females.

❄️

Important Names:

Xiang Lan: Fragrant orchids (香兰). Note that Xiang Lan doesn't have a surname since she's a servant.

He Ying: He means (荷) "lotus blossom" while Ying (盈) means "be full of, expand, have a surplus of". Note that He Ying doesn't have a surname since she's a servant.