7 One truth.

Frankie

Ten years ago.

'' This is normal ''

I shake my head as tears fall from my eyes to my face. I know I am a kid but I know this is not normal. He leans closer to the bed, I am shivering. I feel dirty. He reaches for me and brushes a strand of my hair out of my face. I close my eyes; I don't want to remember his face. I don't want to remember his touch.

'' Relax'' his words seep through my ears. I shiver again. I swallow the puke in my throat '' this is normal. You are beautiful and you deserve this '' his lips are still close to my ear. His beard tickles my cheeks.

You deserve this.

You deserve this.

You deserve this.

Those words echo in my head as he removes my buttons. I close my eyes as he kisses the crook of my neck. I don't want to remember how he looked. I don't want to remember his brown eyes. I don't want to remember how he felt as his skin moved against mine. He says it is normal but somehow it doesn't feel normal.

There is nothing normal about this.

Doing this to a nine-year-old shouldn't be normal.

You deserve this.

I deserve this.

His eyes are wide.

He is shocked at my words. That wasn't what I wanted to say. That shouldn't have been my first truth. How did I start with that? I don't know why I said those words but his expression has me terrified.

I know I am going to lose him now.

'' Say something '' I urge. It's better to rip the band-aid. If he wants to break up with me now, there is no point prolonging this.

He runs his hands through his hair ''Fuck...what I can say?'' he breathes out finally. I shrug because this is up to him. He said he wasn't going to judge me and I guess we'll find out now.

'' Are you going to give me any more information. How old were you? Who was the motherfucker? '' His nose is flaring. Hoe eyes are red. He is pissed and I don't know his exact reason.

'' I was nine ''

He sighs again '' shit... you were just a kid. Who'd do that to a kid?'' I remember him immediately. I had tried so hard to forget his face but no matter what I did his face remained etched to my face.

'' There are sick people in this world ''

He shifts closer to me '' do you wanna talk about this '' I wipe a tear from my face and realize I am crying. This is very hard for me and I guess he can tell '' just relax red. One truth per day '' he wraps his arms around me and I close my eyes taking him all in. I take deep breaths and he pats my back gently.

'' This doesn't change how I feel about you ''

***********

'' Are you dating Ace ''?

I freeze.

Alicia is watching me, her brow is raised. She is suspicious but she doesn't know. She is trying to get information that I am not ready to give out '' what makes you think that? '' I act oblivious. I am very good at hiding things. This should be a piece of cake.

'' Why didn't you tell me you were tutoring him ''?

I shrug ''it wasn't that big a deal. I'm doing it for some extra cash. I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd be interested ''she rolls her eyes disbelievingly.

''You know I am interested in anything that has to do with Ace. He is my soulmate,'' jealousy seeps through me again. I know Alicia has a thing for Ace. Every girl in this school seems to have a thing for him. I can't understand why he chose me. It's a mystery to me.

''I'm sorry I didn't tell you ''

I am not really sorry but the smile on her face says that she believes my apology. I don't think people need to know about us. Ace wants to come out but I am still not ready. It was hard enough telling him one of my scary truths. I haven't told him anything big after the first one. I need him to think about what he is getting into. I want that to settle in first.

The second truth I told him was that I loved the colour pink. This is a big deal because I didn't have one shred of pink anywhere near me. I tried to be as dull as possible. I didn't want to create any attention.

Ace's second truth was funny. He told me that he had kissed a guy before. Apparently it was a dare. He said he didn't feel anything but he has never told anyone but me. It happened in high school and the only person who knows is Scott because he was there.

'' Do you know about the party he is having at his house tonight ''Alicia has a gleam in her eyes. She obviously wants an invite.

'' Yeah''

'' You going '' she questions.

I shrug ''probably ''

She screams and I mean literally screams so loud that I have to cover my ears to block out her noise '' can I come with '' she is shrieking. I roll my eyes because she is totally exaggerating. She could probably go on her own. She is always invited to these kinds of parties.

'' Why?''

'' You could introduce me to Ace. You know, hook a sister up '' she winks, I cringe. I don't want to introduce her to my boyfriend but I can't come out and say it. I don't want to blow my cover.

'' Sure''

My phone beeps and I see a text from Ace.

Ace: Wanna know my third truth?

I smile.

Me: Yeah

He replies immediately.

Ace: I totally touched myself thinking of you in the shower this morning ;)

My smile vanishes, my cheeks redden. I look away from my phone and see that Alicia is still staring at me. I look away from her to hide my blush. I can't believe he just told me that.

Ace: Do you have yours?

I touch the screen of my phone. I don't know how he could say something like that and then act like it's not a big deal. It is a big deal. We haven't had sex yet. I know it's a long time to make someone wait. Every time we get close to doing anything sexual.

I panic.

I push him off me and then he apologizes, it makes me feel like a shitty girlfriend but he never seems offended. Yeah, maybe a little frustrated but he never gets angry when it comes to that. I really want to but I've never done it and I kind of don't know how I'd feel about it.

Me: we're not going to talk about your truth?

He replies.

Ace: Not if it makes you uncomfortable.

I don't know what to say to that. Yeah, it does make me a little uncomfortable but not for the reasons he thinks. I am terrified that he wouldn't want to wait for me but I am not going to do this with him until he knows everything about me. Once he accepts me with all my problems, I'll be ready to give him the part of me that I have never given anyone before.

Ace: Does it make you uncomfortable?

Me: Maybe a little bit.

'' Who are you texting '' I look up and Alicia is watching me suspiciously. She seems to want to know every little thing I am doing. My phone beeps but I don't check it.

'' A friend ''

She raises a brow '' you don't have any friends ''

Ouch.

I would have been a little more offended if she wasn't right. I don't actually have any friends but I don't think it's any of her concern. She seems to want to know because of Ace. She never used to care about the things I do until word got out that I am tutoring Ace.

'' I have friends ''

She laughs'' no you don't...only Izzy and she is your sister. So no you don't have friends '' it seems like she is mocking me. I don't like the fact that she is judging me. I shake my head and lie down on my bed facing the other direction. The best thing to do right now is to ignore her.

I unlock my phone and see two new messages from Ace.

Ace: I am not trying to hint at anything, don't think too much about it.

Ace: I just couldn't stop thinking about you.

I smile.

Me: ready for my truth?

Ace: yes

Me: I get territorial whenever anyone brings up your name.

Ace: I like that. Who mentioned me?

Me: Everyone but at the moment; my roommate, she wants me to introduce you guys. She has a serious crush on you. I want to strangle her.

Ace: ouch. You could just tell her that I am yours. Then she'd back off.

Me: not yet

Ace: whenever you're ready red.

**********