Goodbye Hawks

The group walked into the tavern and got a seat. Corkus immediately started flirting with the barmaids while people in the crowd whispered about them being from the Band of the Hawk. They were even recognized by an older man as the captains of the army.

Judeau looked at Corkus calling over a pretty lady and said, "Corkus, not the time."

Corkus ignored him and waved his hand at the waitress before flirting, "Hey pretty lady."

"So, your mind is made up? You're really leaving the Hawks?" Judeau asked one last time.

"Yes." Guts answered in a serious tone.

"But why now? I mean, why now all of a sudden? Judeau rephrased his question.

"It isn't sudden. I decided before our last dispatch," Guts replied while crossing his arms.

"Are you dissatisfied with something?"

"Dissatisfied? I've got no reason to be. The Hawks are different from regular bands. It gave me, a wandering mercenary who only knew how to fight, my first real taste of comradery," Guts shook his head.

"That's not something the old you would have said," Judeau commented with a mildly surprised expression.

"These last three years have been fun. It feels like…I've been in some big festival this whole time. There's no way I'm dissatisfied."

"Then…"

"Hey what's your name? When do you get off?" Corkus asked the waitress, interrupting Judeau again.

"Oh, it's Mary, and…"

"Corkus, do you mind?" Judeau asked, hoping he would stop with the flirting for just ten minutes.

"Shut it!" Corkus shouted while looking over his shoulder, "I am Sir Corkus, the great unit commander of the Band of the Hawk. What's wrong with me trying my hand at a girl or two in a bar?"

"Huh?" Judeau's eyebrow twitched with a confused expression.

"You could go into any bar or inn in town, say you're a Hawk commander at any shop, and they'll give you a free ride. If you walk down the street, kids and women swarm to you, and no wonder. We're Heroes of the kingdom!!" Corkus put his boots on the table while grabbing his mug of ale before continuing with his speech.

"To top it off, we're going to be joining the Noble caste pretty soon. Then it's smooth sailing of lazy living in the court. So long to those musty barracks!! If things go well we'll be living it up as Castle Lords!!"

Guts and Glenn seemed completely uninterested in such matters and just stared at Corkus as he rattled on.

"Normally, we could never have gotten any of this! Commoners like us couldn't even dream of it. But we got it. I can't tell ya how many blood stained memories I have of enemy swords that nearly took my head off! With one foot planted in the grave, we finally made it! Yet you wanna go and throw all that away? Just like you were throwin' off old clothes? You are unbelievably thick! What are you, screwed in the head or something?"

"Corkus…" Judeau looked at his long time comrade as he suddenly realized something.

"A guy like you who only knows how to kill people wouldn't be able to dance with ladies at parties anyway, right? You can swing a sword, but holding a woman is too much for you, huh?"

"It's like you said. I can't do anything but swing my sword," Guts replied, shocking Corkus that he spoke up at all.

"When I first killed a man, I was just a kid who didn't know left from right. I haven't learned anything off the battlefield since then, and I haven't tried to learn anything since…Killing to survive, there was nothing else I could do, that was everything to me."

"Damn, talk about a shitty childhood," Glenn commented.

The group looked at him with confusion.

"What? Oh, sorry, please continue," Glenn said before taking a sip of the ale and nearly barfing.

"God this awful booze,"

"You know, I thought it would all right. If someone…anyone that had looked my way, but wandering the battlefields made me realize that wouldn't do me any good in tryin' to survive. It was just something of a childish complaint," Guts sighed before his expression changed.

"Even so, incidentally, I found someone I really wanted to become closer with. He didn't have anything, yet he was trying to take hold of everything. No…something about him made you think that it could really happen. But in order for him to aim so high, he has to keep honing himself to the very limit. That's why there's no room at his side for those that cling on to him."

Judeo and Corkus both realized who he was talking about when Guts said, "But strangely, the more clear that it becomes… the more dazzling he is in my eyes…and I've had of enough of looking up at him…from inside his dream."

Guts clicked his teeth before looking off to the side, "He's the only one I can't stand looking down on me."

"Stand beside…Griffith? Heh…you can't be serious! That sounds like somethin' a kid would say!!"

Guts didn't reply, but his straightforward and earnest expression said it all.

"Don't you get it! He's special! He's different from us!! All you know how to do is kill! And you're the captain of the Hawk's Raiders! A position you don't deserve! All that's possible because you met Griffith!"

"I'm not interested in stuff like class or rank. What I want is something else, something I can win for myself," Guts responded with a focused expression.

"That's why I said you sound like a brat! Something you can win for yourself? Hah! If something like that were easy to find, no one'd ever have to suffer!!" Corkus shouted while getting the attention of everyone inside the bar.

 "Even if you're lucky enough to find it, only a small handful of people get to be winners! Normal people use their own strength and talents to come to terms with their real lives and do the best they can! There's plenty of people out there who say all you need is a dream! It makes me sick to listen to assholes like that! All you need is a dream, huh? That's something weaklings who can't face the truth say! An unrealized dream's just a load of crap! Straight outta the horse's ass!"

"Corkus…" Judeau had to rethink his opinion on his fellow Hawk member.

"Are you saying, you don't have something like that?" Guts asked.

Corkus clicked his teeth and thought of storming out of there, but Judeau's next question made him calm down.

"What about you, Glenn? Why are you leaving? I know you've only been with the Hawks for a couple of months, but I thought we got along great."

"Midland is at peace. There are no more reasons to sortie out, which means that I can't continue making my World Map. Also, I never really liked Griffith all too much," Glenn declared while shocking everyone at the table.

"Why?" Judeau couldn't help but ask.

"He's never tasted defeat before, and I'm not talking about combat. Griffith has never lost at anything in his life. When he wants to achieve something, he succeeds in getting his way. In my experience, guys like him don't do well when they finally lose," Glenn explained.

Guts and Judeau were lost for words while Corkus looked absolutely pissed off.

"What the hell do you know? You're just someone who joined at the end of the war! I don't even consider you a member of the Band!" Corkus yelled loud enough for everyone in the tavern to hear.

"You're right, Corkus. The relationship between Griffith and me has always been that of a businessman and his worker. That's why I can tell you as an outsider to your little Griffith Cult, guys like him crumble under pressure after losing something. Sometimes, things just don't go the way you want, and that's a lesson he has yet to learn. He's just a flesh and blood man, not a god, and you should really stop viewing him as one. For your sakes as well as his," Glenn announced as Corkus stood up and walked away.

"Corkus…you don't have to leave," Judeau commented.

"Screw you!!! I'm leaving, I can't stand being in the presence of these two idiots!" Corkus shouted as stormed out of the bar.

"You know, he used to be the leader of a group of bandits? Well, it was only about ten men, and times were tough. They crossed the Band of the Hawk, and sure enough, they got put in their place. Ever since then, he's been one of ours. While it's no big deal, maybe there was something he too wanted to win for himself," Judeau informed before he pulled out a knife.

"As for me, I've always been a jack of all trades. I'm better than average with swords and knives, and without boasting, I have a pretty quick with wit too." Judeau demonstrated by flipping his knife around like a toy before stabbing it into the table with a single finger.

The knife tipped over, "But…I've never been the best at anything. That's why I decided if I couldn't be the best, I'd fly in the wake of one who seems the best. There's nobody who never wanted something… Don't get me wrong though, I'm pretty happy with things and my own situation. Well, from one perspective, that's not true at all."

Guts lifted a brow as Judeau rested his chin on his hands while he said, "To sacrifice your status as captain of the Raiders and the promise of peerage and knighthood dangling before your eyes, all for something vague. I wonder if something's wrong, but maybe there's something wrong with all men…it's our dreams. Win or lose, I'm sure you could spend your whole life chasing one. That day, three years ago, I said you'd find a place to belong here. I guess…I was wrong."

Judeau then turned to Glenn and smiled, "As for you, map maker extraordinaire. It's been fun, and if you ever need a place to call home, the Hawks will always welcome you with open arms."

"I'll see you off, Guts. I hope you find it. Your special something," Judeau said as Guts smiled back at him.

The three of them got up and walked out of the tavern.

While they trod through Midland, the early morning light was starting to peer through the alleyways and lit up the surroundings in a glow of white and blue.

It was quiet until Judeau looked at Guts and said, "Hey, I do wanna ask you one thing."

"Eh?" Guts lifted a brow.

"What's up with you and Casca?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Guts showed a confused expression.

"Ever since you two fell off that cliff, it's like you've gotten a lot closer."

"You really think so? Well…a lot…happened with her."

Glenn and Judeau joined forces as they gave Guts a sly smile.

"The hell is that look for?" Guts asked as a sweat drop rolled down his brow.

"Why not try your luck with her," Judeau suggested.

"Huh…Hold up, that was random! What the hell made you say that? Every old dog in the Hawks knows that she and Griffith…"

"Casca…can't be with Griffith," Judeau replied, cutting Guts off as he gave a confused, "Huh?"

"Like you said, Griffith rose up from nothing to be a top general of Midland. That's practically a miracle in it of itself. Ordinarily you'd throw your hands up and celebrate, without hoping for anything more. But he won't stop. The goal he pursues is one of a kind. They say the kingdom probably won't see war for some time. In that case, even Griffith won't have any opportunities to shine through militaristic actions. His chances for promotion will be slim pickings. Even if he's a general, he's still a soldier after all. There's nothing beyond that. He'll need a trump card for one last push."

Guts lifted a brow with a confused expression, as if he was asking, "And your point is?"

"You don't get it?" Judeau smiled at his friend.

"The princess… If Griffith wants to claim this kingdom as his own, the fastest route is through marrying into royalty," Glenn commented.

"Exactly, Griffith is now the White Phoenix General, Midland's heroic savior. Beside even her highness, he'd appear quite a worthy companion. As fate would have it, General Julius, next in line to the throne after highness and his son Adonis, who was most likely to marry her, are now dead by the hands of another. What's more, the Queen, well know within the court for her severity and several conservative ministers were mysteriously burned to death on the night of Griffith's assassination attempt. Thanks to that, the military award ceremony is still being postponed."

Guts gave a pensive stare at the ground when Judeo looked at him and said, "Guts…you…No. Oh, well! The princess is in love with Griffith. Well, that's probably by his design. Anyways, there's no way he'll miss this chance. As for Casca, Griffith is truly special. It goes beyond any feelings of romance. He rescued her from despair and gave her a new life. So, it's more than love she feels for him, it's more like worship."

Judeau closed his eyes and shook his head before continuing on, "Yet, despite all her efforts, can she can find happiness being a woman longing for a man she can never have? If she loves him, shouldn't she want to be held by him? Moreover, beside him is the woman he can't afford to refuse in fulfilling his dream. Her highness is the one woman that can grant him the thing he most desires. The one thing Casca herself definitely can't offer him. That must be unbearable for her to deal with. So, what about Casca? Ever think you'd like to hold her?"

"I…Casca is a fine woman. She's a lot better than those noble girls who only know how to dress up. It's hard to find a woman you can trust to watch your back on the battlefield. But…less than a woman, I see her as a comrade."

"So?" Judeau gave Guts an honest stare.

"No…that's not it…The one who has her eye is Griffith. That's why I'm no good for her as I currently am," Guts replied with a melancholic expression.

"Gatcha," Judeau replied.

"I just think you're pussin out," Glenn chuckled.

Guts frowned as he gave Glenn a harsh stare.

"What? If you like her, you should just take her with you. But all I hear is bitching and complaining. I don't know if you're scared of a relationship or something, but take it from someone who's loved and lost, it's worth every second."

Judeau showed a surprised expression and asked, "You have someone special?"

"Had…" Glenn shook his head before saying, "She…passed on about ten years ago."

"I see, sorry to hear about that," Judeau shook his head.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. People live and die, it's just the natural course of nature," Glenn walked ahead a bit.

After a few minutes of moving in the same direction, Guts turned his head towards Glenn and asked, "How long are you going to follow me?"

"Depends. Are you heading towards the Eastern Forest trails?" Glenn replied while strutting at a steady pace through the snow covered roads.

"Yeah…actually, I heard the blacksmith that made my sword retired some years ago and lives a t one of the Eastern Mountains. I'm heading there to see if he can make me another," Guts explained.

"Well then, I hope you don't mind me tagging along. I could use some company during my Journey to the East," Glenn said as he smiled at Guts.

"Sure, as long as you don't slow me down," Guts shot back as they made their way towards the Eastern Hillside overlooking the kingdom.

"Please, I crossed over mountains that are larger than Midland. Been to places you can only dream of. Forest trails, hills, and plains are easy for a professional like myself. I'm more worried that you can't keep up with me," Glenn grinned.

"Huh…true, the scouting party never had an issue with you leading them," Guts commented.

"I have experience with stakeouts…" Glenn smiled.

"Stakeouts?" Guts lifted a brow.

"Oh, um, it's cop slang," Glenn replied.

"Cop?" This time Judeau showed a confused expression.

"Um…where I used to live, I was a law enforcement officer…they're called cops or police officers," Once again they both showed a confused expression.

"Think of it like a mercenary that upholds the laws of the people. I worked hard for about 5 years before I made detective. That's an investigator that gets paid to solve crimes, catch murders, and jail criminals."

"Where do you come from?" Judeau asked. He had never heard of such a profession. Usually, the law is upheld by Nobles and Knights. It was unheard of for citizens to be able to take up such jobs.

"A far away continent. One you can't get to through ordinary means," Glenn smiled as he trekked on ahead.

"I'd live to visit someday. Maybe when things settle down and Griffith sits safely on the throne," Judeau commented, thinking about the magic staff he saw Glenn wielding when they first met.

"I'd like to show you too…but I don't know if that's even possible. To get back, I'd need something really special…" Glenn shook his head.

It didn't take them long to encounter the main cast for the Band of the Hawk.

Corkus, Pippin, Rickert, Casca, and Griffith were all waiting for them near the only tree for miles to come.

"You're really leaving, Guts?! You too, Glenn?! Why? I thought we were friends!" Rickert shouted out as he glopped his tear-filled face onto Gut's stomach.

"I'm sorry, guys, but it's something I decided," Guts replied as he looked over at Griffith.

"Rickert, let go of Guts. He's made his choice," Glenn said as he knelt down and patted the kid's head.

"But," Rickert wanted to refute, but Judeau held his hand up and said, "No Buts, it's a man's decision, Rickert. You should honor it,"

"What about you, Glenn?" Rickert followed up.

"I'm leaving to fulfill my dream to complete a world map! It's been fun hanging with you guys, but my deal with the Band of the Hawk ended when you guys took Doldrey. I'm free to wander the world again. Though, if you guys ever need to buy a map, I'm always glad to sell to your band with a 30% discount," Glenn answered as he patted Rickert's head.

Guts started to say his goodbyes to everyone when Corkus got in his face and said, "I never liked you. I've even aimed my bow at you a couple of times during the battles we've been in, and Fuck you Glenn."

Everyone grunted and groaned at hearing that.

"Anyways, if we meet on opposing forces someday, you'd better watch your back," Corkus followed up.

Guts started to walk away when Griffith stepped in front of him and said, "I won your life at the edge of this sword. You cannot leave."

"I don't suppose we could end this with a good old fair well and see you again someday, could we?" Guts questioned as he placed his bag on the snowy terrain.

"Wait, are you going to fight? Stop, we're allies, we shouldn't...Judeau, tell them to stop!" Casca could see how serious they were and pleaded for Judeau's aid.

"Has the knighthood made you soft, Casca? Did you forget the way of the mercenaries? A sword that is taken must be retrieved by the same hand that it was lost to," Judeau frowned.

Seeing her reaction, Judeau noticed that Casca was beginning to realize that she wanted Guts to stay.

Glenn noticed before the same he turned to watch the outcome of the fight.

Griffith dashed across the snow with a powerful leaping motion and swiped his sword towards Gut's shoulder.

Guts unleashed his swing. He cut through Griffith's sword and stopped short before hitting his shoulder.

Everyone but Glenn seemed surprised about the outcome. Guts sheathed his sword, he was about to leave without saying anything, but something Glenn said made him pause.

Guts then placed his hand on Griffith's shoulder and said, "We still have a long life ahead of us. I'm sure it won't be the last time we see each other. You'll get over this. You're strong enough to stand again. Goodbye, friend."