I still can't say much about cause the chapter is still just 4.
I give 3 star for now to give you some motivation,honestly this kind ofvstory was one of the favorite of many readers,but the problem is there's no much story like this,and the chapter and story somehow still in the initial phase that we can't enjoy it yet.
Still because not many novel have this kind of story this novel actually have a great amount of potential,i think you can improve the style of conversation like give space for when the conversation take place,instead like : i have never feel this tired before[honey,score goal for me]with that sweet voice i feel determined.
Better : i have never feel this tired before
[honey,score goal for me]
with that sweet voice i feel determined
It's feel much better and look neat and easy to read.
Your idea is great keep up the good work,do it step by step don't too fast or too slow.
If too slow the readers will be boring.
If too fast the reader can't immerse themselves to the story.
Fighto ou !!