2 Reincarnated As Wangfei Once More

"You've disgraced your parents, disgraced your grandparents, disgraced all of the ancestors to our family! You've left me with only one option. You will be cast out, your name will no longer be Chang, you will be forever and to the end of time removed from the family records! This family no longer has a Chang Xiu Ying! Now get out of my sight!"

"But father, what about the royal engagement with Jun Qinwang..."

"Is there only one gher in this family? Xiu Min is near his age. Just promote him..."

*****

Two hundred years ago, an emperor who had too many excellent sons was troubled, unable to choose an heir. Normally, it would be the son of his Empress that would be named his successor, however that man had been raised into a wastrel by his doting mother and aptly removed himself from the line of succession. Although it was written in the official records that Zhong Qinwang lost his life to a sudden illness, he actually died in the arms of a favoured Concubine, sent to his grave by a heavy and mixed indulgence of lust, alcohol and food. The mourning that followed his funeral was only upon the surface; the nine princes that had been suppressed by the Empress and her family began to make plans to replace him in their imperial father's eyes.

The Empress naturally would not pave the way for these sons of concubines, unwilling to allow them what should have been her son's inheritance so easily. Thus when the Emperor came to her still uncertain of whom to promote, she was careful with her words, balancing both compliment with critic and not placing one prince before the other. Her personal mama gladly played along, having helped raise the former crown prince into his foolish self and not letting blame stick to her mistress nor herself preferred to make things difficult for others. So she suggested that as a worshipper of Taoism, could not a priest who was blessed with the secrets of the stars not divine for the Emperor and aid him in his dilemma?

The Emperor found this a wonderful solution and sought out a diviner, not knowing that this man had been bribed heavily with silver and gold...

*****

I was a naive child when I first learned that I was to be wed to the Seventh Prince, Jun Qinwang when I came of age. At the time, this did not mean that much to me, for I was a gher, I knew just as every gher and every girl that there would come a time that I would marry into another family and have a husband to serve and a mother-in-law to cater to. I could not remain in my maternal family forever. I would have his children, raise them into good sons and daughters and they in turn would wed...

"I'm sorry, your highness," the doctor turned to face my husband, whose usually stoic expression had an edge of ice to it. "The child has been lost, there is nothing I can do." The Seventh Prince flung his long sleeves and left me to my suffering, lying in a bed now soaked in blood. I did not shed a tear for his departure, nor that of my unborn baby.

The first time this occurred, I cried pitifully for the lost life and for myself. Imperial Concubine Mother was quite kind at that time, sending medicine and tonics... this time she was heartless, blaming me for being careless, even forcing me to kneel before her palace. Not yet recuperated and already quite weak, I fell unconscious still kneeling and almost lost my own life right there. The Imperial Concubine was chastised by the Empress for being inconsiderate only causing the woman to hate me that much more. Hated for being a gher, hated for being a son-in-law rather than a daughter-in-law, hated due to losing the child that might have finally secured her son the throne.

The Diviner had suggested that the Prince who could have a gher bear his Male son was fated by the heavens to be a dragon.

Although gher are able to bear children just as women, we are not women. Our fertility is weak and we would truly be considered blessed to quicken a child in our wombs. If every Prince must have a princess consort who was a gher, then they would truly be blessed to bear offspring of the legitimate line. This test was both wicked and ingenious. The race to the throne now seemed to rely on the luck of the Heavens.

In truth, it was not so simple.

As I mentioned, I am a gher, not a woman and just as not every man favours a woman with large hips or gentle demeanour, not every man would want to favour a gher. Even more complex was the fact that a Prince did not just have one wife. There were also his two secondary wives, his four consorts and then eight concubines. Actually, they were all concubines, just of differing ranks and none of these included tong fang, servant girls who warmed their master's bed, but were not officially part of his harem. This mess of gher and women the main wife is naturally supposed to both organise and control in order that the Prince's backyard be a peaceful place for him to visit.

But any peace in a Prince or official's backyard is an illusion.

My Prince had already married his four consorts and had six concubines before I was carried in an eight person sedan into his palace.  All of his concubines were women. When he came to remove the veil that covered my pale face, he did so with some hesitation and he left a heartbeat following. I barely caught a glimpse of his hard, gem like eyes and square jaw in that moment.  Not a word was exchanged with me.

Still, he had ambition and he was not about to let the fact that despite my naturally ambiguous appearance I still had more similarities to his royal body than that of his other wives stop him from consummating the marriage. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he approached me that night, tearing off my red wedding gown before turning me over, perhaps hoping to pretend that I was actually female as he violated me. There was so much pain! My mother had told me that both gher and maidens would feel pain upon their first night, but I did not expect it to be so bad that I felt as if my rear was torn in two by him!

When I was roused the next morning by the servants, the pain had not subsided much. It felt as if a foreign object was still buried in that unable to be named place, still tearing my insides with blazing heat. My pelvis was sore, by back ached and there was a tender place at the back of my head where he had pulled at my hair, angry that I was crying beneath him. And in this agonising state, I was expected to rise and help my Prince with his morning ablutions.

He shoved me away, rejecting me in favour of his servants. I did not stop him, I simply acquiesced. I was his wife now, it was my duty to listen to him as stated in the Analects of Women and Gher.

On the first morning of our marriage, I was expected to serve tea to the Empress and the Imperial Concubine, who was Seventh Prince's birth mother.  The burning sensation within my body seemed to worsen during every moment as the Empress' sharp tongue was bitter while the Imperial Concubine was sweet.  My marriage had been consummated, naturally one was unhappy while the other was pleased.  Dizzily, I somehow made it through the painful morning before collapsing in the carriage, the fever rushing through my person and sweat coating my skin.  The Prince had no choice but to call an Imperial Doctor to heal me; if I died, he would lose his chance for the throne completely.

I do not know if the Imperial Doctor taught my husband a lesson, but when he chose to have me serve him in the future, his actions were not as brutal as that painful night.

The fever itself broke the following evening.

On the third day, my Prince accompanied me home and put on a show worthy of a royal personage, showing kindness and caring towards me and none of the indifference and silence that was all I was given in his palace.  I did not spoil his ruse; my mother had already been unwilling to have me married into the imperial family and were it not for the decree, she would never have allowed me to do so.  I did not wish to break her heart all over again and let her believe as she wished.

My life within my Prince's palace settled into a pattern at first; his other concubines would show obeisance to me, while quietly probing the limits of my ability, I would work on the household accounts with the relevant servants and on the first and the fifteenth of every month, I would serve my husband.

The unpleasantness of the wedding and subsequent night was not forgotten, but all in all, my marriage could not be considered a bad one, even if it was not filled with love nor happiness.  The Prince had an expectation of me and so long as I fulfilled my duties, he would not allow others in his house to slight me, be they his servants or his concubines.  I was his wangfei, he made this clear to everyone.  It did not completely stop the petty remarks and small tricks, but the concubines could not be totally dissatisfied, for at least our husband did not favour anyone of us over any other.

This changed shortly after the Imperial Doctor took my pulse and declared that I had finally fallen pregnant with the Prince's child.

Imperial Concubine mother was ecstatic.  It had taken me three long years to fall, but I had managed to do so, unlike the Gher consorts of the other eight princes.  It should be known that we all were wed within a few months of each other, all of the auspicious days were taken my us in those months as each one of the weddings were performed, one after the other, thus none of us were in a particularly more advantageous position than the other.

Plus there was no miracle marking upon our bodies to say which gher had a better chance to fall pregnant that which other.  All spouses all had similar backgrounds, not born of the highest officials either.  My father was of third rank, as was Fourth, Fifth and Ninth's father-in-laws.  The others had father-in-laws of fourth rank.  None of our families had the strength to push their Prince by marriage onto the throne by force.  Perhaps my fertility was simply better or my luck?  If it were luck, then it could be said that the third princess consort had the worst luck.  He died two months after the wedding and it suspiciously seemed that third prince had a hand in the boy's death.  It was then the other Princes learned of their fate should their gher spouse die.  The throne would be forever out of their reach.

My Prince was well aware of this, which was why each first and fifteenth he came to me, turning me over to hide my lack of breast, my masculine genitalia and face before preparing me for his favour.  It was not painful as it was that first night, but I didn't like serving him either.  I always felt somewhat dirty and used afterwards.  So falling pregnant was both a joy to me and a relief.  He would naturally leave me alone now I was carrying his heir and perhaps as well after I birthed him.

And I was right.  The concubines were also glad, thinking that the little attention they received would now increase.  That hope was in vain.

Six weeks after my pregnancy was confirmed, Wang Ye had carried home a new wife. 

She was a bright and vivid woman and clearly in love with my husband, just as he seemed to hold an affection for her.  He ordered that the second largest courtyard in the backyard be cleaned and given to her as I prepared for the marriage and told me she would be his secondary wife, thus her monthly allowance of silver, her clothing allowance and such should be more than the other concubines.  He also had a kitchen installed in that courtyard.

Also, they pushed the confines of the rules and she married in wearing a deep pink dress that bordered on being red and while her sedan was carried only by six, it was ostentatious by itself.  I swear were it not against the rules, she would have been carried through the main gate.

This favouritism was made more clear when I was told that the woman, now Feng Shi, did not have to come and pay her respects to me.  As a further smack in my face, the Imperial Doctor declared that she was pregnant just one month later!  How did that not seem questionable?  Had my husband been unfaithful prior to their marriage?  Were he not so faithful to the rules and expectations as a contender for the throne, others would most assuredly consider this true.  Instead, they believed it a coincidence and lucky fate.

What luck?  I thought as I bled out onto the bed just a week following the announcement, my poor son lost to whatever poison I had consumed.  The Imperial Doctor confirmed that I had digested something dirty and a scapegoat was found; one of the lesser concubines.  I did not believe it was her, however, we had had our minor scraps with bitter words, but she had never once tried to harm me.  Plus why now?  Why not when I was more vulnerable and in an earlier month of pregnancy?  However my husband was clearly satisfied with the results of the investigation and the girl lost her life.

Perhaps it was karma, but that woman also did not keep her child, miscarrying naturally a few days later.  She was duly compensated with the care of our husband and treasures from our vaults, while I bitterly had to remain silent and carry on as if nothing had happened at all.

By some luck and fortune, I became pregnant six months later. 

In this time, two other gher had fallen pregnant, but their fates were not fortunate either.  One gher was pushed into a lake by a servant and lost the foetus, while the other gave birth to a dead child and lost their own life in the process.  It truly was a bitter existence being a Princess consort gher.

This time, Wang Ye was much more cautious, having me remain in bed while the child settled in my womb and having his own, most loyal mama make sure I ate clean food and drank clean water.  Even more, he gave all of my household responsibilities to Feng Shi, so I not be stressed by my duties.  What stress?  Checking the accounts of our businesses, calculating the expenditure for clothing, jewellery and allowances, organising the servants into the best positions to make use of their skills and abilities, those sorts of things had always kept me going, kept me sane, kept me feeling as if I had a use.  And he took that away from me.  Now I was just a vessel for his heir.

Still, I really tried to keep that little life.  But apparently, one of the third rank maid servants went insane with jealousy having failed to climb into my husband's bed, so snuck into my room to beat my child from me.  A third rank maid had a fair bit more strength than a gher raised in a boudoir and I had been asleep... but did no one think to ask the question of how she managed to get into my room in the first place?  Did anyone not wonder why she did not cry out in pain as she was beaten to death as punishment for her crime, but continued to struggle and growl like a beast?  And why beat me and not the very favoured Feng Shi?

"Wang Ye," The woman had kneeled down before our husband after the doctor confirmed my loss, as if the red staining my inner thighs was not proof enough.  "Punish me!  It's my fault!  I did not control the servants well!"

Of course, she was not punished.  How could he bare to harm the one he loved?  She even kept her power over the palace after I was well enough to resume my duties, unwilling to relinquish it.  And of course, the Prince supported her. 

"Your only duty is clear," he declared to me when I mentioned my position as Wangfei, "to bear my heir.  That is your role.  Forget about anything else!"

So this Wangfei in name only truly began ones days of suffering, had they not been hard before.  Imperial Concubine Mother slowly became desperate in the following years, Eighth Prince Princess consort had born a child after six years of marriage.  It had been a gher, not a Male, so the race for the throne had not ended.  But we wives had been married in for now many years and were considered to be near to the end of our prime childbearing years. 

My Prince was also expressing his urgency.  He now made me serve him at least once a week if not more and had an Imperial Doctor move into an outer courtyard of the palace.  I had bitter tonics to consume everyday, I had the Doctor check on my health every week.  My diet and exercise were regulated as well. 

This 'attention' did not sit well with Feng Shi.  She had born the Prince both a daughter and a son, but these children were not considered as important as the Prince's heir and that made whatever relationship she had with our husband strained.  Not that she could do much to vent to him in the circumstances, only that my allowance was secretly halved, the lack blamed on thieving servants, plus she would flaunt her son in front of me and the concubines every few days.  Those women loathed her, for none of them had been able to conceive since she came into the palace, one secretly snuck in a physician only to be told that she was infertile.  She, Lao Shi, the mother of the Prince's second daughter could no longer bear children.  She quickly figured out just who was to blame.

But what could she do, what could any of us do?  Feng Shi held our husband's heart, but even if he indulged her, there was still one thing he placed before her; the Emperor's throne.

The Emperor was getting old and with his sons failing to bring forth heirs was growing increasingly worried and there were doubts increasing in his head about the Diviner's words.  His officials were even calling him to renounce his edict of seven years and name a successor.  Naturally, they sought to promote their own favourite Princes.  The left Prime Minister was especially loud, his daughter had married Fourth Prince as a secondary wife.  He believed that the now infertile gher consort, for he had been the one to lose his child in the icy cold of the lake, would never be raised above his daughter as Empress should the Fourth Prince become Emperor.

But badgering the old Emperor simply caused him to be more stubborn and silenced the doubts of his original decision.  He would give it three more years.  If none the remaining gher consorts could not provide him a legal grandchild by their twenty fifth birthday, he would reconsider then. 

Now Seventh Prince entered my room almost every night, forcing my body's endurance as he poured his seed into it to quicken.  I became increasingly numb to my position as a vessel.  Feng Shi came to taunt me every day, unhappy that our husband never came to her bed anymore, unhappy that he did not pay her children much attention anymore.  If I could summon any emotion, I would have sneered at her.  After all, this was what she had brought upon me, upon herself.  If she had just left me and my children alone, none of this would have happened and she would still be secure in our husband's love.

Finally, ten months before my twenty fifth birthday, I fell pregnant for the third time.  When Wang Ye found out, he came to my room, grasped my hand and whispered; "Well done."  I could only stare at him with a slack jaw; never before had a word of praise slipped from his lips in favour of me.  Were it seven, six or even four years ago, I might have even been moved, but I had nothing left in me now.

He didn't return to sleep with me that night, but strangely enough, he did not go and lie with Feng Shi either.  The maids were filled with gossip, so naturally it came to my ears that Feng Shi was no longer favoured.  Perhaps her persistence and pestering had finally worn the Prince's affections too thin.  Well, it was obvious that she wanted her son to be his heir, I even heard rumours once that she had tried to convince Seventh Prince to lie and claim I had given birth to him. 

Pillow talk can be influential, but only truly worked if it was what the man wanted to hear or if his mind was too useless to think for himself.  Seventh Prince knew that it would only take one loose tongue to slip and effect his right to the throne by allowing such a lie.  And besides, the little Prince resembled his mother as a baby and looked nothing like me nor the Prince at all, how could such a lie pass.  He must of forgiven her preposterous idea, for this was a few years ago, after the boy was born, before he gave my power as wangfei to her.

Still, no matter what happened between them then and what happened now, I really didn't care a bit.  I was a vase, a vessel, the emotions I should have had were dried up, poured into a kiln and shaped to be useless.  I couldn't even love the piece of imperial flesh in my stomach, my heart no longer beat for anything but for the sake of keeping me alive.  Even for my paternal family, if they sensed that things were not right with me, there was nothing that they could do.  Father had retired, forced out of his position due some scheme or other, I couldn't say, but at least he kept his life.  Mother was weak, plagued by an illness she could not shake.  They could not look after themselves, let alone look after me who was suffering in an imperial palace.

Despite the extra care and attention, with Wang Ye visiting everyday, even staying for the midday meal or afternoon tea and the Imperial Doctor keeping a close eye as well in order to help me protect the heir, I could not keep the child.  I lost him at five months. 

The Imperial Doctor announced the news, destroying my husband's last hope for me.  He looked at me with his hard, gem-like eyes, which seemed to glitter with frost, before sweeping out of the room.  I watched him go unfazed by it, just I'd truly had enough now of this farce.  I wouldn't accept the blame.

"Wang Ye," I called out in a dry whisper, believing that he would hear me despite the quietness of my voice.  After all, I seldom spoke around him anymore, around anyone in this poisonous palace, he would notice the moment I did.  "You should think about the moment when everything started to go wrong."

"What are you saying?" He demanded, slightly hoarse of throat, but I did not say anything more, just closed my eyes and pretended to fall unconscious.  He was a smart man, although he had temporarily been blinded by love, I believed his eyes were wide open now and he would see what he had failed to in the past.  And he did.

Lao Shi happened to be the one to comfort him that night, declaring boldly that if only she could tear the womb from her stomach and give it to me, after all it had safely born at least one child for Wang Ye!  Alas...

"What?" He asked her, noticing her hesitation.

"My womb is dry," she wept.  "I am unable to conceive any more children for you!  In fact all of the women concubines it seems share the same fate!"

"What are you implying?" His voice turned cold and though Lao Shi could feel his icy anger, she continued on;

"Which Concubine has given birth in all of these years?"

Perhaps he hadn't noticed because he had been too busy seeking other merit as a contender for the throne, but even he could not deny that his last born child was his only son.  Feng Shi's son, who was now almost four years of age. Otherwise he could only count three daughters amongst his offspring.

"Wangfei?" He accused, but without much heat, perhaps he doubted my ability or my temperament or perhaps he was simply hoping it was me rather than the alternative, for he had never given me his heart. 

Naturally, Lao Shi denied this; "Otherwise, how would my Xiao Li be born?" Her princess had both been conceived and born after I entered the palace.  And for three years, Seventh Prince would not be able to deny while harmony between me, his Wangfei and his original six concubines was not without discord, I had never once harmed his concubines nor his two daughters.  "I won't say that I like him, but he has been a good Wangfei," she added to his self-vexation.

"He investigated," Lao Shi told me as I weakly breathed in and out, each breath so much more difficult than the last.  Lao Shi had come with the excuse of looking after me as I was failing to recover from my last miscarriage and Imperial Concubine Mother's 'care'.  In truth, I had simply given up.  "He investigated and discovered that Feng Shi was originally a person belonging to Second Prince."

Second Prince had been possibly the most bitter to learn that he would not automatically inherit the title of crown prince after the eldest prince, the Empress' son had died.  He was the oldest of the remaining brothers, unofficially engaged to be married to General Tao's eldest legitimate daughter, but his imperial father's edict changed all of that.  He was married to a small gher of some random official and General Tao rescinded the agreement so he could no longer marry his childhood sweetheart.  He hated his Wangfei and despised his Imperial Father.  Unable to even consummate the marriage, he decided not to leave it to fate and end his brother's ambitions himself.  While he was truly not responsible for the Third Prince's gher's death, the servant who had caused Fourth sister-in-law's loss of child and fertility was his as was the poison that killed Sixth sister-in-law and his baby. He even prevented another princess consort from conceiving at all.

My husband's palace had not been so easy to penetrate and in the end he had to resort to a honeytrap.  Only, Feng Shi fell in love with Wang Ye and thanks to his affections became increasingly dissatisfied with her lot.  She wanted to be Wang Ye's Wangfei, she wanted to be his only wife, her children his only heirs.  So, she framed the little Concubine who was said to have taken my first child's life and drugged the little maid, who had once tried to climb into our husband's bed with psychotropic medicines causing her madness, before bribing or coaxing away my servants and letting her loose in my room to cause havoc.  As for my third miscarriage...

"It was a mixture of herbs in the food and in the tonics," Lao shi informed me.  "Apart they are harmless, but when brought together...  Feng Shi has been forced to take poisoned wine.  Unless Wang Ye remarries, her son will become his heir, so I guess she got something she wanted anyway.  Wang Ye won't take the throne."

Yes, Wang Ye had lost the throne.  Thanks to Feng Shi and Imperial Concubine Mother, I am dying and my death is also the death of my husband's ambitions.  This was part of the decree.  Lao Shi came to tell me all of this, perhaps hoping that I would be comforted when I crossed the yellow river that we have been avenged.

He also visited me the day I passed away, the heat seeping from my body as his warm hand tried in vain to replace it.  "I wronged you. I'm so sorry."  I felt my lips curve as the last breath escaped me, finding his apology as amusing as it was pointless.

*****

"You've disgraced your parents, disgraced your grandparents, disgraced all of the ancestors to our family! You've left me with only one option. You will be cast out, your name will no longer be Chang, you will be forever and to the end of time removed from the family records! This family no longer has a Chang Xiu Ying! Now get out of my sight!"

"But father, what about the royal engagement with Jun Qinwang..."

"Is there only one gher in this family? Xiu Min is near his age. Just promote him..."

I was kicked out of my ancestral home and felt nothing but relief.  It had taken some planning and some schemes, but I had ruined my reputation enough that my elders were forced to this stage.  To be honest, it hadn't taken much, a few rumours outside that I was not talented nor virtuous, that I was even promiscuous, flirting with the guards of the compound, I think, and a visiting merchant's son.  Of course Xiu Min's Mother fanned flames to make these rumours much discrediting in order that her son be able to shine. The line was finally crossed after my Uncle's wife accused me of theft of some imperial bestowed trinket or other.

Honestly, we were both Concubine born gher, but as I was the eldest, I had become the one chosen to marry into the imperial family.  The betrothal gifts had already been sent, but I had no plans to enter that nest of vipers again.

I picked up the cloth bag my sister had put together for me and hidden in a bush by the west wall.  I only asked for a couple changes of clothing and my favourite book, but she had snuck in several silver notes, likely all of the savings she had from all of these years.  Out of all of my family members, I would miss her the most.  Otherwise, unlike the family I was raised within in my previous life, I really had no attachment to the Chang family at all.

Two hundred years ago, the Emperor had made a decree and all of his outstanding sons were forced to marry gher and the first son to have an heir with his legitimate wife would become Emperor.  It was eighth Prince that finally took the throne, for his Wangfei bore him a son some three months after my death.  We hadn't even known he was pregnant! 

According to the history books, the new Empress bore another Prince for his Emperor after inauguration, but the Emperor decided that there was wisdom to be held in marrying his sons to gher and allowing the fates to have some hand in becoming Crown Prince.  Whether it was a clever idea or foolish, who can say.  Just as there are wise Emperor's, there are ones that indulge in avarice and ones that are weak.  Changing the conditions of who should become Crown Prince hasn't really affected this and now the marriage of Prince to gher has become tradition.  Those princes that do not wish to play or have no merit to their names will be married to women instead.

Hence how I, reborn a gher, became once more engaged to a Prince.  But in this life, I refused the 'honour'.

As for my former husband Prince, it is written that he never remarried an official wife.  I was ever his only Wangfei.  I can't say that I was really moved when I read about this though.

I walked along down the street, thinking that I should really find an inn for the night.  It really wasn't safe for a gher to be walking out so late alone.  As I glanced around, hoping to recognise my location, a large and fine looking carriage suddenly pulled to a halt nearby.

A servant leapt out of it and was followed by a man.  He had a rather square jaw and particularly hard gem-like eyes, which seemed to strangely melt just slightly appearing as obsidian pools as he stared at me.  I felt a shiver involuntarily slide down my spine and took a step back.

"It's not safe for a young gher to be on this street alone," his voice called out to me, the familiarity of his tone too frightening.  "Allow me to take you somewhere safe." 

I would have refused him if at that moment a few drunken thugs did not appear from an alley several steps ahead.  Reluctantly, I allowed myself to be pulled into his carriage and cursed myself a fool, as the incense within began to steal my senses.  Just before I fell unconscious, I heard him whisper; "Wangfei, I won't allow others to harm you in this life, but I can't allow you to leave me either.  I'm sorry."

I awoke sometime later in an ornate red sedan carried by eight people into the front gates of Jun Qinwang's palace.  I could only hope that in this life things truly would be different.