3 In This Life, It Wasn’t Meant To Be (part one)

The room was white, a crisp, clean white with no unnecessary ornamentation distracting from its purity.  In fact, the room was very sparse of furnishings at all.  There was just a chair, a medical pod and two small air filtration units attached to the ceiling.  These machines hummed faintly, barely audible, especially as the medical pod was pouring out its on cacophony of beeps as it measured the pulse, temperature and brain waves of its occupant.

The person inside of the medical pod was not old, in fact he was only a little over sixty years, but in this time where life expectancy was nearly a hundred and eighty years of age for a man, his time had most definitely been cut short and he was very aware of the fact.  And very bitter.  He turned his head to one side as his laboured breathing fogged slightly the glass casing covering his vision. 

Beside him, there was a man.  This man was also just over sixty, his hair still black and shiny and his skin still smooth.  However, he was a little shallow of cheek and there were shadows beneath his eyes that spoken of restless nights and the dying man felt his bitterness expand for him as well as grievance for what might have been.  A shame that the future he might have once briefly imagined for them will now never come to fruition and he could only wallow in self pity and blame.

"I see my wife still hasn't the time to visit," the two words describing his spouse was heavily doused in sarcasm, clear even despite the barrier between them.

"She said to tell you that it was a critical time for Xiao Lin," his companion said, his tone as comforting as always.  "That she had to continue accompanying her so the girl could continue focusing on her studies without too much disruption."

"So I'm a disruption, am I?" The other growled, before coughing fitfully.  A small hiss sounded as purified and slightly misty air was injected into the atmosphere within the medical pod and his cough eased a moment or two following.  "And let me guess, my mother cannot come due to space disorientation sickness, my father naturally cannot breathe without her permission so he'll have to remain by her side and my dear, darling older brother is too busy playing house with his little wife while fucking mine."

His companion said nothing, what could he have said when both men knew the truth of it.

"What of Jing Yi?"  The encapsulated man asked, longingly.

The other smiled, his curving of his lips like the sun rising above the horizon in the east, so warm and filled with hope.  "Jing Yi is well," the man said, his soft voice filled with affection.  He was not surprised that it was Jing Yi that Shao Fen asked after him rather than Xiao Lin or her brother Xiao Lei, both the latter born of his legal wife.  His eyes caught the other man's, finding himself reflected in the lone black eye, while its misty white partner revealed nothing.  "Would you like to see him, Fen?"

The man shook his head, coughing a little, but he soon gained control of his breathing before replying verbally; "No.  He doesn't know me, it wouldn't be right to confuse him."  His words dampened the other's expression, but they both understood that this was the consequence of their decision ten years ago following the miracle of the child's birth. 

"Grandmother would not agree with you," the black-haired man sighed as he glanced away.

"No, I know she does not," he chuckled, as he recalled how the woman had recently stormed into the sterile hospital room like an avenger seeking justice, but with the poise of an Empress.  He'd always been in awe of her, ever since he was an infant.  In fact, he did not believe he would have lived to this day were it not for the ostentatious woman.  He had always wondered how his own mother could have ever been birthed from her body. 

His companion watched him for a long moment, feeling in his heart that he knew just what was going through the man's mind.  They had been together for so long after all.  Even if they had never shared a womb, never shared a father, they had been as close as brothers growing up, closer perhaps and despite the obstacles that should have ensured the fine line between them remained, they had eventually crossed it in sin.

Let it be mentioned that the two men were not childhood friends, not cousins or blood related in anyway.  They grew up under one roof, one as the second son and one as a foundling cum servant. 

Shao Fen was only three years of age when his father had brought home an abandoned baby, given to him in turn by a wandering monk.  Monks were generally held in scorn and ridicule, still believing in spirits and ancient ways, seeming to shun the current historical knowledge and technological advancement, so his mother, Fan Yong was less than impressed by her husband's actions.

"You dumb fool!" She cursed him.  "What fate this wild child has with us?  Just superstitions and ghost tales, that monk just didn't want the cost of raising his wild seed!  You send it to the orphanage tomorrow."

"But wife," Shao Dong protested, "he said that if this child is raised with our son, then our son would reach great heights and be bestowed a treasure.  Also, if we treat him well, our family would also rejoice in good times for nine generations!"

The cunning woman's eyes had narrowed, drawn to the idea of treasure and wealth.  She'd come from money, had enjoyed an idyllic childhood blessed with no hardships.  However, her father had lost his life to star pirates, who had upheld his ship, stolen everything and killed everyone.  After that, his company became the centre of a storm; relatives pouring from the shadows ready to take what they otherwise would never gain.  Her mother had fought hard, but even the seemingly infallible can be tricked and she lost the company to her father's brother and could only sit back and watch it sink beneath his less than able rule.  That company was now in the hands of others and only a tiny trickle of its profits dropped into her mother's purse.  Enough to survive on, not enough to live comfortably on.

That was why Fan Yong married down and became the wife of Shao Dong, who happened to inherit a small moon that was only good for farming, but also happened to have no brothers to cling to his meagre wealth and no parents to swear piety to.  But still she dreamed of flying high in society once more.

So despite her doubts, the infant was allowed to remain beneath her roof.  They named him Fa Xian. 

Shao Dong And Fan Yong had actually two sons at this time, but they never considered that the monk might be referring to Shao Fen, the second son, when he spoke of their son. 

Their first born son Shao Bao was the apple of both adults' eyes.  He was handsome and strong, healthy and bright, very much unlike the more neglected Shao Fen.  He was popular amongst children his age, invited to lead in team sports even at his small age and welcomed to most birthday celebrations.  Sure, his school reports were not always the best, but that was just because his teachers misunderstood his cleverness and he was just a little mischievous like all boys his age. 

In fact Shao Bao had a vicious streak that he generally kept beneath a facade of likability, which later became charm and charisma.  He did not hide this from Fa Xian however. 

Fan Yong was the type of person who only heard what she wanted to hear, so chose to only acknowledge that Fa Xian would be her eldest son's lucky charm.  Thus, once the child was old enough to toddle, she began teaching him to obey and would beat him for the slightest fault.  She sought to train a servant for her darling eldest son.  Thus Shao Bao would naturally follow suit.  However, his beatings were more a kin to torture and torment.

Even after sixty years could the scars from burns and poorly healed wounds be seen upon Fa Xian's legs and back. 

When Fa Xian was almost eight did he nearly lose his life to Shao Bao's hard handedness, the cruel teenager having lost the attention of a girl he liked to his rival.  It was Shao Fen who had rescued him and helped save his life.  Granted, Shao Fen while not treated badly, was not treated well in the farming household, so he could only rely on his maternal grandmother for help.  That woman had taken charge, reprimanded her daughter, tried to make her see the type of person her eldest was growing up to be and threatened to report Shao Bao to the authorities, so that he might be sent to a correction facility before he did something even worse.

Fan Yong had always been intimidated by her mother and quickly took her eldest to hand while begging her mother not to say anything.  She would pay for all of the hospital fees and medication that Fa Xian needed to heal, she promised.  Plus she would not let Shao Bao and Fa Xian together alone, after all, the little one did so 'like following her eldest son around'...

Fan Mei was a mother with sons as well as a grandmother, she really didn't want to see Shao Bao go to a correction facility, so despite her reservations, she did eventually drop it.  Plus, she could see how much Shao Fen cared for Fa Xian so did not want to ruin their innocent intimacy.  In fact, Fan Mei, while trying to raise her sons, who were both much younger than her daughter, as well as feed herself and pay her rent, had really not the time to watch much over her daughter's children and had only seen them once a year at most during the New Year's celebrations, so she really wasn't aware of many truths.  Had she known earlier, she would not have left Shao Fen nor Fa Xian in her daughter's 'care.'

"Do you regret not leaving with her at that time?" Shao Fen suddenly asked him, his breathing sounding laboured as tiredness swept through his bones.

"Maybe once, a little bit," Fa Xian replied honestly, however his eyes became gentle as they connected with the other's.  "But then I thought of you and later of Jing Yi."  Shao Fen's sight blurred somewhat and once more he mourned what could have been, what should have been.

He'd dreamed of it, dreamed of a reality where is mother believed in that monk's words, in which she raised Fa Xian like a third son and even shown himself some kindness.  In that existence, he and Fa Xian had not grown up to be master and subordinate, but had remained brothers until their feelings had naturally developed beyond that.  His parents had then arranged their wedding and life was beyond blissful, golden and he'd held the predicted treasure in the palm of his hand.

Unfortunately, Fan Yong was not a benevolent woman and had never cared for him.  He'd been born after a long and hard labour that had stolen away her ability to birth more and she would never admit her losses to seek conception through technological means; to a woman, having a child in an artificial womb was often believed to be a shameful thing.  So she was predisposed to dislike him, even before learning that he had physical defects at birth.  The hair lip was fixable with modern surgery and would not leave a scar, but at that time, there was little the medical profession could do about his milky, blind eye.  He had been born with no pupil and the damaged optic nerves were not connected to the brain.  In addition, there was faults within his body at the genetic level.

In normal circumstances, a loving parent would have placed him in hospital care as a baby, so he could spend time receiving gene therapy, that his body could be aided in repairing at least some of the damage, if not all.  But Fan Yong wanted nothing to do with her ugly, faulty child; he was fortunate enough to be raised beneath her roof (and this was only as she feared her mother's wrath should she attempt to get abandon him outside). She would not pay for the expensive gene therapy baths nor for the recommended cell cloning and transplant technique the doctors had recommended for when he reached full growth. 

As a small child, he'd never understood his mother's dislike for him, but then there was this littler child that she seemed to dislike more and treated worse than himself.  At first, he was just curious about this tiny boy and later he felt connection through their shared unhappy fates.  When his brother had almost killed the boy, he'd been so frightened and knowing his mother would never find the fault lie with Shao Bao and his father only ever listened to his mother in this house, he could only rely on his grandmother.

As for the beating he'd received after his grandmother had left their moon, he'd felt it had been worth it.

He then had taken Fa Xian under his wing, wanting this little brother for himself to love and care for, however Fa Xian had already been moulded into a servant by then and would continuously seek to serve him as such.  He didn't understand at that time, being not much older than the other himself, that this had been Fa Xian's way of thanking him for helping him.  Instead, he had foolishly thought that Fa Xian was a stupid, unlovable child only fit to be a servant like his mother had always claimed.  He regretted his ignorance greatly.

But the die was set, he became Fa Xian's Master, his only Master and Fa Xian would continue to blindly serve him.  Of course, they would become adults, he would leave the farmstead for university, the way paved by only his own strength and money. He would swear that he would never return to that family and Fa Xian would follow behind him and silently agree. Away from that moon, living in a single room together in the worst student accommodation, Shao Fen learned that he was as reliant on his 'servant' as Fa Xian was upon him.  Later, after graduation, while he slowly delved into the business world, seeking employment and opportunities, Fa Xian would organise his home life that he never had to worry about finding a crisp, ironed shirt or entertaining contacts at short notice.  He was there when he braved the first step as the boss of his own small company, he was there when he made his first million and he was there when things looked at their bleakest point. And he was there after he had risen like a phoenix from the ashes to win back his fortune and the heart of the girl he fancied.

He did not even life a finger for his own wedding, each and every detail that had been decided upon on a whim by his wife to be, had then been enacted by his loyal and faithful Fa Xian.  He'd seen to guests, seen to Li Xinya's elite relatives, smoothed over the accident in the kitchens and then seen him off on his honeymoon.  One Shao Fen might as well have been completely blind for he had failed to see the hidden pain of his Fa Xian as he left with his wife.

Of course that had not been the only time he failed to see through his good eye.

A slightly high pitched pinging sound broke through his thoughts and over the continuous beeping of the medical pod in which he lie and would never rise from.  He glanced at Fa Xian, who scanned over the light brain upon his wrist and mentioned; "Your lawyer is here."

A sly grin spread across Shao Fen's wane face, hinting at a shadow of the former self this man had been and Fa Xian's heart skipped a painful beat.  "Send her in," Shao Fen uttered the words in the authoritative tone he had become most familiar with and nodded immediately in response.  But just prior to him reaching the sealed, sliding door, he hesitated and glanced back at the man who'd once been his everything.

"Are you certain about this?" Fa Xian murmured, knowing that the sound would still be caught by the medical pod's outer microphones and transmitted inside.

"More certain of this than anything before in my life," Shao Fen replied firmly.  "I only wish I'd begun proceedings sooner... do you blame me?"

Fa Xian shook his head and gently smiled; "You were only thinking of Xiao Lin and Xiao Lei.  Those children were your life."

"And look at what I lived for," he muttered beneath his breath, spitting pure bitterness with every word. "Not just one cuckoo in my feathered nest but two."

"You couldn't have known," Fa Xian attempted to reassure him.  "It's not as if there isn't some family resemblance after all and even I couldn't have imagined that Li Xinyu would..."

"No, there were signs," Shao Fen admitted, finally, "nothing that could be considered proof... but he always was the better looking one."  And he'd remained the ugly one, unable to have surgery and fix his eye due to his untreated genetic condition which had deteriorated thanks to not receiving treatment as an infant.  Li Xinyu had promised him that it had never bothered her, had reassured him she loved him despite this and his shortened life expectancy.  Maybe she had even believed that once.

"Nothing but a shallow vase," Fa Xian mocked, causing Shao Fen to burst into laughter only for this joy to once more devolve into a rasping cough, reminding them of the truth of their situation.  "I'll let her in," Fa Xian whispered, sadly as Shao Fen's spasms came once more under control with the aid of the medicines.

Fa Xian and Shao Fen's lawyer were familiar with each other and nodded in passing as one entered the room and the other left. Shao Fen carefully and concisely etched out each instruction, each final wish and deed and his lawyer was equally as careful in recording them. She spoke honestly of her concerns, not that she thought anyone would manage to overturn his will, only that they would most definitely attempt to, but Shao Fen simply laughed. He had considered these things and checked diligently the laws of the Empire and found that although some might find him immoral, he was well within his rights. Eventually, she conceded, agreeing with his precise terms.

Sometime later, the woman exited, once more nodding towards Fa Xian, who returned just a cursory nod before swiftly returning to Shao Fen's side. The woman couldn't help but sigh in her heart; their story was like a drama from an ancient play and not one that ended happily. Thinking of her clients' last wishes, her eyes turned cold and her lips curved as she felt that these were a sort of justice nonetheless. She straightened her skirt and left the hospital intending the register the documents as soon as possible and ensure that there was absolutely no room for contest.