1 Counterattacking the Douchband

I don't know what happened, one moment I was reading that damned book and the next moment I was inside it.

Suddenly my seven years of well-made and maintained body shrunk into a bloated peach!

I never thought that there would be a day when I would be without him; I just can't imagine my little brother is no more. It had become a constant all these years, especially in the morning.

But now… I don't even want to go there.

I was 185 cm long, I could change the battery of my wall clock without a stool, and now, I can't even touch the top rail of the door!

Is this because I made fun of my short best friend? If so, I swear I will walk on my knees from now on, but for the love of all holy, let me go back… I didn't even finish watching my favourite nail-posh video.

Yeah, I like nail art, sue me.

I was still freaking out when I heard a light knock.

"Madam Edith? Are you ready?"

"N-no… I need a minute." I said.

What do I do? What do I ducking do?!

"Call my moth… I mean, please call my mother-in-law. Please?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Oh no… I can't go through this. I can't, I won't sleep with that douche.

Sleeping in this universe is deadly. Literally.

I can't believe my luck, I didn't only transmigrate, but I transmigrated as a girl, into a place where my ultimate future was to die after giving birth, again and again, and ducking again!

I, or more precisely, this body was the ultimate cannon fodder, whose role was to:

1. I, the ugly but rich duckling, meets the ML

2. Falls in love- one-sided

3. Discovers that Douchband was already in love with an infertile and skanky MC.

4. Basically Rich ML was a coward who couldn't marry without the assurance of an heir. Yup.

5. Realises that all the dreams were for not

6. Have hateful sex

7. Get pregnant

8. Pop-out a kid

9. Then I took poison. Yup.

10. ML feels guilty, depression yada yada

11. ML raises the kid alone before he meets the MC again

12. ML pretends to be self-righteous before a big change occurs

13. Boom! Happy ending.

14. And not to forget, a white ducking flower on my grave!

The biggest catch? Turns out that the reason why the MC couldn't conceive was the deficiency of Vitamin B12, and after a course of Vitamin shots they were able to have triplets. Yup.

Really? I would rather shoot myself directly than go through labor, pop a child and die- for no ducking reason!

Well, I still possess the unmatched knowledge of cliché transmigration novels and have no need to be told that everything would be fine as long as I follow the script. I just need to set my douchband with the skanktress and voila! A very alive and breathing me would be able to go shop for malfunctioning prams for their triplets baby shower.

I was brought back from my master plan when I felt a hand on my forehead.

"Edith, my sweet daughter in law, you are okay, right?"

In this ducked up novel, only the mother-in-law was the one who actually cared a little about my character.

"No mother, I don't feel so good," I said, with squinting eyes and jerky body.

But before I could take my act to the next level I was enveloped in an embrace.

"Oh my! Should I call the doctor? What am I saying!? I must call the doctor."

"Mom, I mean mother, there's no need, you need to chill out a little."

"I should chill out. What am I doing? You are sick, and here I am making a fuss like this. Oh god! What if it's an incurable virus?" with that, she started crying all over me.

I wanted to really, really laugh out loud… not only that I wanted to pinch her cheeks.

Only this woman would cry over you after reaching such an absurd notion over a small thing.

"No mom, I am fine, just a little exhaustion, nothing major," I said while patting her head.

Even though she was snotting all over me, I was feeling warm inside.

I haven't been with my family in ages, my family was extremely orthodox, and they couldn't understand that I liked a chiseled chest as well as bouncy boobs. I was an abnormality for them.

"Oh, my baby! Do you want a back rub? Hot chocolate? Weed?" I couldn't help but splutter at that.

"N-no mom, I just need some peace and alone time," I said, in a hushed voice.

"Ah, okay then. You just rest; I will prepare some chicken soup for you!"

With the click of the door, I jumped out of the bed and ripped off my joke of a dress and the bra. What was even the point of wearing these contraptions? Let your body free girls!

With finally having the proper airflow, I gulped a lungful of air and sat down to device the master plan to get my husband to bang his ex.