Hi everyone, this is Reborn princess's author here. First and foremost, I THANK YOU all for taking time and reading my book and giving votes to it. I am new in this field and you might find grammer mistakes in my novel. I am an open minded person (sorry if it sounded about bragging myself), but if you find any mistakes in my work you can notify me and kindly give me a chance to correct myself. I hope you are enjoying my work and hope you support me by giving votes and reviews and by leaving chapter comments. There will be more and more schemes and plots as the story develops. Hope you will stay connected in the journey of Reborn princess. And don't mind about my five star rating for my work. Thank YOU all
While remaining loyal to a premise that has proven to be popular, the author presents us with a charming story. Sadly, I do have to confess that, as a reader, the story fails to completely grasp my interest due to a few unfortunate details. Grammar-wise, there are a lot off mistakes. First off: tenses. I assume your intention is to write your story in the past tense, but you switch to present tense quite often. You also continue to use the past tense where you ought to use the past perfect continues. There are some minor mistakes such as comma displacement and not leaving a space after finishing a sentence. These are not severe but do disrupt the flow of the story. There are several moments where several words are used incorrectly, such as the second paragraph, where ‘in’ ought to be ‘for’. In the third paragraph, you use ‘of’ instead of ‘for’. In the fourth paragraph, you seem to have left out entire words. Examples: All the officials and people are (were) gathered together. Many of them are (were) (t)here to see the miserable state and (the) dejected face of (the person who) once (was considered) the beauty of the empire. (Even with the corrections, the sentence is quite wordy and a bit off.) "Today we are gathered here (we have gathered here today) for the execution of former princess, Aeinshia Rutz, in (for) the crime of misleading the authorities, (the) attempt to murder princess Lily Carmondy(,) and the murder of the almighty (former) emperor of the kingdom (empire if were talking about emperors, kingdom if were talking about kings) (,)", the royal announcer yelled from the middle of the execution grounds. There was (had once been) once a time ,when (comma should be after time) everyone (had) wanted to be like her, (had) wished they were her. (leave a space)But they (had) all started to show their true colours slowly(slowly should be placed before ‘started’) as she (had) lost her identity(I assume you mean ‘position’?). Soon after, Aeinshia Rutz, once the popular and respected (heir) of the kingdom (kingdom or empire?) , (the) one who (had been the intended) Empress of the empire if everything went well (‘if everything went well’ is too wordy), was now presented (presented is an odd word choice) at the execution grounds. Story-wise, I believe your work has the potential to be immersive, but as your reader, I am not invited to read on after these first paragraphs. I do note some improvement in more recent chapters. If I may make a suggestion: rewrite your first few chapters. You are improving as a writer, but there will be readers who will drop the story as they do not get past the first few chapters. I hope I have been of help and wish you all the best continuing your story.
This story grabbed me with its first chapter. As a reader it is a superb story. I am glad to find it. As a budding author.. Your writing style is great as you can make anyone laugh and cry with your kwords. Your vocabulary and english is great too. Story development is great as well. As a author myself I guess i have a long way to go. I will support your work ✌️😊
Oh this is a reincarnation story, I didn't read the tags and I was surprised to read the FL being executed ._. I like the idea and jumping between different perspective of the characters to get the big picture of the story, but sometimes I got confused in the middle due to the jumping from here to there. For me it seems a bit fast sometimes and kinda jumpy? (If that's even a word XD ) However, I do like the idea of why you're doing that. Keep up the good work author!