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Reborn princess: I will change my ill-fate

Author: minho_Shiny
Fantasy
Ongoing · 1.5M Views
  • 196 Chs
    Content
  • 4.7
    110 ratings
  • NO.200+
    SUPPORT
Synopsis

"We have gathered here today for the execution of the former princess, Aeinshia Rutz, for the crimes of misleading the authorities, the attempted to murder of princess Lily Carmondy, and the murder of the almighty former emperor of the empire," the royal announcer yelled from the middle of the execution grounds. Aeinshia Rutz, the once apple of everyone's eye was now the unimaginable traitor of the kingdom, who killed the Emperor, her own uncle who treated her greater than anyone in this world. 'I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not guilty for the Emperor', Were the last words Aeinshia spoke before she was charged of horrendous crime one can ever commit towards their kingdom. ...... "No. Absolutely not. My princess Aeinshia would never do that", the crown Prince of the kingdom growled towards his most dedicated guard and friend. "Your highness, the evidences are all clear and the princess didn't give out her words", the guard replied. Even he believed princess Aeinshia would never commit such a grave mistake but, all the evidences are pointing at her. There's no way she could escape the trap she fell in. "Why are you doing this my love? How am I going to survive without you? Even though you had no will to live, atleast you should have thought about me . I loved you for my entire life. I am the future king yet, I cannot save my own love. I am useless. But, I will definitely prove your innocence no matter what it takes." Prince Evan thought before leaving off the execution grounds. ...... "Is this how my life is going to end? Where did it go wrong? Where did I loose control of my own life? Was I too selfish to wish for love from my prince?" These were the questions going on in her head . Both of them longed for each other. But years of misunderstandings lead them to not to discover their love for each other. 'Can't i get a second chance?' was the last thought she had before the crowd roared when head of the traitor was beheaded. So, the chance was given. The cycle was reversed, time was turned around, a chance came and the princess was reborn. Will the Reborn Princess can change her ill-fate or this rewinded cycle will be far more worse due to the tangles of love and thirst for power?

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Table of Contents
Volume 0 :Auxiliary Volume
Volume 1

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Roshinisun
RoshinisunLv2
Thisisme11
Thisisme11Lv4
Sigheti
SighetiLv4

While remaining loyal to a premise that has proven to be popular, the author presents us with a charming story. Sadly, I do have to confess that, as a reader, the story fails to completely grasp my interest due to a few unfortunate details. Grammar-wise, there are a lot off mistakes. First off: tenses. I assume your intention is to write your story in the past tense, but you switch to present tense quite often. You also continue to use the past tense where you ought to use the past perfect continues. There are some minor mistakes such as comma displacement and not leaving a space after finishing a sentence. These are not severe but do disrupt the flow of the story. There are several moments where several words are used incorrectly, such as the second paragraph, where ‘in’ ought to be ‘for’. In the third paragraph, you use ‘of’ instead of ‘for’. In the fourth paragraph, you seem to have left out entire words. Examples: All the officials and people are (were) gathered together. Many of them are (were) (t)here to see the miserable state and (the) dejected face of (the person who) once (was considered) the beauty of the empire. (Even with the corrections, the sentence is quite wordy and a bit off.) "Today we are gathered here (we have gathered here today) for the execution of former princess, Aeinshia Rutz, in (for) the crime of misleading the authorities, (the) attempt to murder princess Lily Carmondy(,) and the murder of the almighty (former) emperor of the kingdom (empire if were talking about emperors, kingdom if were talking about kings) (,)", the royal announcer yelled from the middle of the execution grounds. There was (had once been) once a time ,when (comma should be after time) everyone (had) wanted to be like her, (had) wished they were her. (leave a space)But they (had) all started to show their true colours slowly(slowly should be placed before ‘started’) as she (had) lost her identity(I assume you mean ‘position’?). Soon after, Aeinshia Rutz, once the popular and respected (heir) of the kingdom (kingdom or empire?) , (the) one who (had been the intended) Empress of the empire if everything went well (‘if everything went well’ is too wordy), was now presented (presented is an odd word choice) at the execution grounds. Story-wise, I believe your work has the potential to be immersive, but as your reader, I am not invited to read on after these first paragraphs. I do note some improvement in more recent chapters. If I may make a suggestion: rewrite your first few chapters. You are improving as a writer, but there will be readers who will drop the story as they do not get past the first few chapters. I hope I have been of help and wish you all the best continuing your story.

The_Procrastinator
The_ProcrastinatorLv4

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