5 First Accidental Magic

It's been about 4 months, more or less, if I am counting the days right since I've started meditation. And let me tell you something, meditation is really really HARD and BORING. Most of the time in the beginning when I started meditating, I would just start by closing my eyes and trying to clear my mind and the next thing I would see would be my mother or tweaky trying to wake me up to feed me or change my clothes.

I mean if it wasn't for that I was a child and I've got literally nothing I can do except lie there in the crib I would have given just because of the sheer boredom of it. Anyways, after about one and half-months of it, I became somewhat decent at clearing my mind and not think about anything. It still takes me around 10-20 minutes but at least I don't fall asleep now.

At the end of my second month, I was starting to get really frustrated because I had really hoped that I would at least feel some kind of magic or mana or anything really. I know there was never a mention of something like mana or magic sense in the books, but I was really hoping that I would get some kind of power along those lines.

But I didn't get any kind of third eye power or something. I am not proud of it but after about a week into the third month, I made meditation my second priority instead I started trying magic by saying Lumos over and over while wishing for bright light and staring at my hands.

After about three days of doing nothing but the same thing over and over but getting no visible result and on the night of the third day my frustration hit a peak after 2 hours and I was getting really tired so I just shouted instead of whispering and I don't know if it was because I shouted or maybe you just need to be really frustrated but I finally saw a little ball of white light at the end of my hand, the relief of finally able to have some kind of proof that I am not a squib and the exhaustion didn't even give me a second before I fell unconscious.

When I woke up again the first thing that came into my view was the worried face of my mother,

it seems she's been trying to wake me up for quite some time and was just about to take me to St. Mungos, if what I interpreted from her mumbling was right. When my mother left an hour later after making sure I was alright, I started dancing in my head thinking about my first bout of magic.

I think while consciously my mind refuses to accept that I would not be able to do magic after being reborn into this wonderful world, subconsciously I was really afraid that I would turn out to be a squib. That's why the relief after seeing that small ball of white light was so immense.

I thought that after the first time the Lumos magic would be really easy for me, and boy was I wrong, I shouted, whispered, whined, again and again, but got no result to show for it. I started thinking that maybe I had imagined doing it when I remembered about accidental magic.

So that means that I was not some kind of prodigy but what I did was the same thing any other wizarding brat was capable of. That was a depressing thought, for I had really hoped to be able to do some kind of wandless magic.

After getting over my loss I went back to clearing my mind and mediating but only trying to do magic at night for about an hour. As I was getting no result whatsoever I stopped getting frustrated and just focused on what I really wanted like I really started to think about the color of light I wanted and how It would feel a little warm to hold and I started holding that picture in my head,

After another week I finally got that light once again, and this time I only had to wait another day before I got another light after saying Lumos. So what I concluded from that was that I have really small reserves of magic and to do even a little bit of magic you need to properly visualize your end result.

You may be wondering why I did not do anything other than doing magic or meditation, but the thing is babies really do need their beauty sleep, yeah and because I was really concentrating for most of the times I needed even more of it, so I didn't really have a lot of time.

Anyway, after that, my schedule went like this

1) meditating or clearing my mind or whatever you call it

2) doing Lumos once a day because my reserve was only enough to do Lumos once

3) eating, shitting and sleeping for the rest of the time

After about a month of doing Lumos everyday I finally had enough reserves to do Lumos twice in a day. After every Lumos, I would feel less and less exhausted so I started to get a feeling of having my magic increase a trickling amount every time but until I was able to do Lumos twice I didn't really give that feeling a second look. It's nothing cool like magic sense or something like that but it's like what you feel when you start running and start feeling your stamina increase over time. And after that you get a sense of how much you can run with that much stamina, yeah I felt something like that for my magic.

If my magic grows at this exact rate then maybe I'll be able to do about 7-8 Lumos by the time of my birthday. I decided that when I have enough reserve to do about 5 Lumos I would try the levitation spell and see if I could do it. I didn't try any other charm because from what I could understand from the books the later you learn a particular spell in the year the more magic is required.

If I am right and the levitation charm really requires more magic then I would take it slow and do what I was already doing and learn magic from simple to complex but if the levitation charm takes not that much more magic than the Lumos spell then I would try the different spells like the summoning charm or something like that.