10 10. Down and Dirty!

During my daily reading of Deku's book, I spotted the sentence I had been waiting for so long.

"Kacchan burned my book and threw it out the window. He even told me to commit suicide. And I just stood there, helplessly. Maybe ..."

I slammed the book closed.

Yup. Today is the day.

It's Sludge time baby! Time to get wet and dirty!

And most importantly, to make sure that the seaweed pipsqueak doesn't become the next symbol of peace.

Cuz really, he doesn't deserve to be.

I jumped up from my desk and ran out of the class with a faked leave note.

I took the first available train, straight to Musutafu.

All throughout I kept reading Deku's book, as he got captured by the sludge villain, fainted, got slapped awake by All Might.

It was now a race against time.

Will I get there and stop Deku, or will he be able to act like an idiot and still get handed the biggest fucking Dues Ex Machina in recent anime history.

Of course there was only one right answer!

I jumped into the nearest cab as I exited the station and nearly shouted the driver's ears off.

"Market street, go go go! And be fast. Get me there in ten and I'll double whatever the going rate is!"

"Sure. Anything for the money. But mind telling me, what's the hurry?" The driver asked.

"I'm going to prevent a great tragedy from happening today and change the course of history!" I said, smiling.

"Ohkay. I'll pretend I did not hear that.

Say, buddy, you do got the money right?" He asked, looking at me like I was a crazy guy.

Well, I suppose I would have done the same if I was in his position.

"How much will the fare be?" I asked.

"5000 yen or so." He answered.

I pulled out a ten thousand yen note and stuffed it into his shirt pocket, as I leaned on the door, ready to jump out.

Just as we arrived at our destination, an explosion rang out, blowing a mushroom of smoke up into the air.

I scanned the area, as the driver stared at the explosion, slack jawed.

"How did you-" he asked, shocked.

"It's my quirk!" I interjected and jumped out, having spotted small might at the edge of the crowd.

From the other side, came Deku, running off to his death like the fucking lemming he is.

Not on my watch bud!

I power-walked over to him just as he was making up his mind to run in.

He took one step forward, looming low, ready to go, and found himself stuck.

He turned around to spot me holding him up by the collar.

"Yeah, no. You're not going in there. Come with me." I said, dragging him out of the crowd, and dumping him in a nearby alley.

"But I can't just let him die! He's my friend, and I-" Deku protested.

"I what huh? What are you going to do? Running in there, without a plan, and likely some weak quirk.

You'll only be an unnecessary burden to everyone. Wait here and watch. I'll save him." I said, all according to script.

"But you're the same as me! How will you-"

I glared at him with the fury of a thousand suns, and corrected.

"No. I am nothing like you, Izuku Midoriya. You are a wimpy little no balled bitch of a guy. I am a well trained vigilante who has taken down two S class villains. We are worlds apart. Never forget that, got it?"

As he shivered, I pulled out my taser and a high powered torch, and walked over, pushing through the crowd.

Here goes nothing.

I made a dash past the heroes, putting on rubber gloves, ignoring their warnings and dodging their attempts at capture.

I summoned my bookshelves between me and the heroes, just as I passed them, and pointed the torch at the villain.

I closed my eyes, and flipped the switch on and off, as a blinding flash engulfed the street, as soon as the switch was off, I opened my eyes and summoned a shelf below me before making a second leap off it, straight at the sludge villain, while it was still recovering from the impromptu flashbang, and jabbed the taser deep into it's guts.

"Hasta la vista baby!" I said, as I pressed the trigger as the shock debilitated both the villain and Bakugo.

"Kyabababababbab!" He cried, shaking himself off of Bakugo.

"Run!" I shouted, slapping Bakugo straight, and he hobbled away as fast as he could before I shocked the villain again, stopping it from engulfing me.

As soon as I stopped pressing the trigger the second time around though, I summoned a bookshelf below me and jumped up, summoning another bookshelf, until I was nearly the same height as the villain.

In a smooth sweep, I plunged my other arm into his head and grabbed his eyes, before unsummoning the shelves and falling to the ground.

"You! Leave my ey-" the villain growled, as I pulled out the taser and put it right next to his eyes.

"L-l-lets talk, friend, there's no n-need for violence..." the villain stuttered, immediately bowing down and laying down arms.

"Yeah, figured so." I snarked as I dragged him by the eyes to the nearby alley.

I kicked over a trash can, and pulled out the trash with my leg, before turning to the villain.

"Get in there. Go on!" I commanded.

"Wha- No way!" He said, almost out of instinct.

I sighed. Some people don't obey without getting their ass beat, now do they?

"GET IN THERE! NOW! OR YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR EYESIGHT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" I threatened as the villain followed, pleading for mercy.

"Please, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. Please don't blind me, oh great taser-sama!" He cried as he stuffed himself down the trash can, leaving one eye out. I maintained a vice grip on his one eye, and closed the lid, before pulling out a tape from my pocket and taping the trash can shut, before dragging it out, to the cheers of the crowd.

"Here." I said loudly, throwing the can to Death Arms, "Did your job for you, you fucking losers. Next time, if you're not up to the task, don't become heroes, you fucking wastes of taxpayer money!"

"Hey! That's not fair! Our quirks weren't a good match for-" Death Arms protested.

"Your quirks weren't a good match? Is that the excuse you're going to use the next time when someone died under your watch? Wow! Big damn heroes you are!

What are your quirks? Arbor? Super strength? Gigantification?" I said, turning to Mt. Lady.

And was my quirk a good match against him? Huh? I summon bookshelves! Fucking bookshelves!

Yet all it took for me to beat him was a flashlight and a taser.

You're telling me that you government paid, famous heroes couldn't afford a fucking flashlight and a taser? Or are you saying that you're so fucking dumb that you don't have two braincells to rub together to realise that you'll need more than just a skintight spandex to do your damn job? Don't give me those stupid excuses. You're just over reliant on your quirks."

"Quirks don't make the hero!" I shouted, tapping my forehead, "Brains do!"

"Now get this guy to a hospital before he catches some infection from all that sewage in his system. You can at least accomplish that yes? Or are your quirks a bad match up against a taxi too?" I said, dressing them down, before turning to leave.

"It's because of numbskulls like you that I have to become a hero, instead of retiring early and living a quiet life on a sunny island." I complained, as I left the street, leaving them tongue-tied.

Just as I was about to leave, Kamui stepped forward and grabbed my shoulder.

"We still need witness testimonies. You have to stay here wi-"

"I think we've got enough testimonials here." I replied, interrupting him and pointing at the many people filming the whole scene.

"And if you really need to take my testimony in particular, call Detective Tsukauchi. He knows me."

I said, and shrugged of his hand before walking away.

As I passed Deku in the crowd, I patted his shoulder.

"Go see your friend. He's safe now." I said, as Deku looked at Bakugo with a conflicted expression, before running after me.

So did small might, sneaking around the crowd and following me like a creep.