1 Good and Bad.

I was trying skydiving for the first time, I decided it would be an exciting experience and it was, it really was. That was until I tried pulling my parachute.

I pulled once.. nothing happened.. I pulled again.. nothing happened. No matter how many times I pulled the chute, it didn't open. In my absolute panic it seems I neglected to remember that I had a reserve parachute for situations like these like everyone else.

And so, that's how I died. An incredibly exciting one-time skydiving incident. Well that sucks, I still had things to do in life! Why do I have to die right now? Why's life so unfair.

How I am still conscious? I can barely feel my limbs and everything is dark and warm, did I maybe survive the fall? Oh god, I don't want to live as a cripple who can only move his head!

Eventually I found a light, in fact that light is getting bigger and closer.. am I waking up? No! I don't want to wake up, I won't live as a vegetable! But alas, the light didn't slow down and eventually it surrounded me on all corners, it was so bright that I couldn't open my eyes for a few seconds.

Finally feeling comfortable enough to open my eyes, I saw a woman who I am guessing is a nurse waving a wand at something.. wait, a wand? This.. am I.. in the Harry Potter world? So I've just been reborn? Oh shit, ooh shit.. don't freak out.. don't freak out.. deep breaths. I can't believe it! Will I be able to use magic? Go to Hogwarts and meet all those characters?

While thinking this I looked up to see who my new mother was.. what I saw froze my thoughts instantly.. D-dolores.. U-u-umbridge.... My new mother.. is Dolores Umbridge?!

Compared to the woman I'm looking at right now, the movie version of her looks beautiful. This one looks hideous,,, she looks like a toad!

'Why has life forsaken me! What did I do in my past lifes to warrant such unfair treatment?!' I didn't even realise that I was crying as I was to wrapped in my thoughts of despair..

'did she pass on her looks to me?' 'am I a squib?' 'will she breast feed me?' oh god, the horrors!

I managed to make out, over my wailing of misery, a tired, sickly sweet voice saying, "He looks like a Reginald, don't you think.. Yes, Reginald, Reginald Umbridge."

'Reginald!? What sort of name is that!?' However all that came out was louder crying.

Eventually, I felt a huge wave of tiredness hit me and I fell asleep.

The next thing I saw when waking up was a nurse feeding me milk through a bottle, which made me incredibly thankful. I think I heard something about Breast Milk being better for my development and what not, but I don't care! I'd rather die than breastfeed from Dolores Umbridge!

I found myself slowly growing more tired after a while, 'curse this weak body, why couldn't I be reborn as a 2 year old or something? This is going to be so annoying.'

* 1 year later *

It was. It was so incredibly annoying. I didn't even realise when I filled my diaper.. until I smelt it, and Merlin! It was such a horrible smell. Eventually, I got potty trained and it became more bearable but I really really hate being a baby, I get tired so easily and so fast, even now, while I can walk, it feels so unstable and uncomfortable, I feel like I can fall over any moment.

If there is at least one upside, Dolores 'Mother' Umbridge is not the maternal type, she mostly spends her time working at the ministry, probably kissing the ministers ass and sabotaging the people below her to keep her position. I was born in 1981, and Dolores was 17 when she had me, so she was born in 1964 or 1963.

While I enjoyed the Harry Potter franchise, I was never a devout follower or something who knew everything about everyone, so I have no idea how old she was in canon, with her appearance, she could've been 50 or 20 when she became a 'Teacher' at Hogwarts.

Ever since I could crawl, I've explored the house in which I live, and let's just say, it's definitely a house of Dolores Umbridge, apart from my room, which is white, 90% of the rooms in the house are Pink! A disgusting pink with so many cat photos that I don't even like cats anymore!

Luckily there's a study that, while not saved from the cat photo's, isn't a pink colour. In the study, there are quite a few magical books. Not to the point of being a library or even filling a bookshelf, but there are around 20, and while none of them are all that advanced, they're exactly what I need at the moment, information and a basic overview on the wizarding world and how it works.

Almost half of them are political books which I don't really like but have read anyway due to sheer boredom, but the other half contain a few books that have helped me learn quite a few useful things on the wizarding world.

First, how magic works. In this world, magic isn't something you can find in your body, it's not stored in one specific place but flows around your body entirely, however, it's not a physical substance, so say for example you lost an arm, your magic isn't going to start falling out of you or something, your magic passively is able to contain more magic as you get older, and while not confirmed as fact, generally the more magic you use the more magic your body can contain.

I've thought about it and I think this is why it's so commonly believed that wandless magic requires a huge amount of magic and talent, but, it's not like wands have existed forever, surely we used wandless magic at some point, not to mention, 'accidental magic' is technically wandless magic, it just comes out when your under a large amount of stress or are feeling a lot of emotion, I'm guessing it's A LOT harder to use magic without a wand, and requires a lot more magic, concentration, focus, pretty much everything, and by the time people have started using magic with a wand, it'll be harder and harder to try it the longer they use a wand until their magic develops to only work with a wand, and they will probably never do any 'intentional wandless' magic after that.

The books also mentioned that the younger you are, the more unstable your magic and therefore your emotions are, most peoples magic is mostly stabilised by the time they're 8-10 and that is why we start school by 11, pretty much everyone's magic is stable by the time they're 11, even the late-bloomers, and so they're ready to start school, now that isn't to say you can't use magic when you're younger, it's just, your magic is still developing and is rather unstable.

There was one book in the study that had a few basic spells, and of course, I tried them but, nothing has happened, I spent hours and hours trying but it just doesn't work. I know i'm only 1 and i'm probably being paranoid and unreasonable but, what if i'm a squib?! Imagine going to a world where magic exists only to find out you can't even use it? I know that most kids start having accidental magic once they're 3 but I still can't help but worry.

Another worry I have is, I don't know who my father is, I've only heard my mother speaking occasionally, which you might think is ridiculous, but she's just a bad mother, she hired a maid to take care of me who I've actually grown a little close to, considering she feeds me, reads to me, teaches me basic etiquette and stuff, which I already knew being an adult, but the thought still counts, but in all the times I've heard my 'Mother' speaking, nothing on the subject of my father has come up, I've looked at my appearance, and while my looks can still change in the future, I'm fairly average, I've always been really bad at telling whether someone is good-looking or not and while I am most assuredly not handsome, I don't think it's enough for someone to look at me and go 'eugh', hopefully. I still have quite a bit of baby fat, though, so I can't quite say my future looks, either way, my looks told me nothing about my father, though I'm fairly certain I inherited more of his features than the oaf I have to call 'Mother'.

I say I've grown fairly close to my 'caretaker' but she's rather biased when it comes to muggle-borns, she's told me quite a few times that i'm superior to those 'mudbloods', not to the point of trying to brainwash me, but still, I guess I should expect it from someone hired by Umbridge, well technically I'm an 'Umbridge' too but, whatever. The point is, if I was a normal baby, I probably would have taken her attitude. I've thought about how I will act in front of 'Mother' and I've decided i'll just manipulate her into thinking I have the same thoughts as her, I'll act as if I think muggles are vermin and muggle-borns might as well be stealing our magic.. if I have any that is.