1 ''past''

the sun is now going down and I Cindy Goodluck, a 17year old golden skin, big eyes, average in height, ood taste in fashion, no feminine sense and absolutely carefree could do nothing but sit opposite a fine looking man in his early thirties who is eager to hear my story that I wasn't ready to share. His smile creeps me out and the way he calls out to me ''Cindy'' just as he looks into my large stubborn eyes gives me this warm feeling but not warm enough to make me start blabbing.

I do wonder what my life would have turned out to be if I hadn't passed through half of what I had.....

okay.... let me break it down for you

12years ago, a day before my 5th birthday, I was raped.. yes, by the uncle I trusted most and then accused of practicing an immoral act. The beating was severe but the words were so hungry that it kept eating me up, although I didn't get to feel it all too well but as I grew up, it grew with me.

I usually wake up at midnight with my soul creeping away from me, fear, cries, feeling so miserable but no one seemed to notice except my sweet and ever loving grandma.

After careful observation, grandma took me in with a strong will to raise me to be the perfect princess irrespective of my parents disapproval. I can still see her charming smile as she said to me '' all I need is a yes from you''. trust me, I didn't even spare a second thought on it. my load was already packed with the feel of my cold heart getting warm again. So happy to be mama's (as we used to call her) princess. years went by and the nightmares seems to have subsided, I no longer scream at the top of my voice or fall from the bed while struggling but I do Jack up and each time I do, she will be staring at me with eyes filled with affection and smiles filled with warmth and then comes a hug filled with security..... But then, I lost her.

it was really a blow to my heart, I cried, screamed, begged, cursed, wrote and most times when am alone the thought of committing suicide was always there, and I tried that multiple times...

Things took a wrong turn. I stopped talking much, stayed away from people my age, had low grades, cold heart, my only smile was evil... I was scared, afraid for me, afraid for wat am becoming.....

My dad saw an unfilial daughter, my mum saw a broken soul, my brothers saw a man like girl, my sisters saw a ever smiling and reasonable being, while others saw a lost soul who was once a perfect princess... Cinderella ( as I was referred to).....