1 Stingy death god

I never used to worry about how I would die, I knew one day that I would because death is truly an inevitable factor of life. I just didn't assume it would arrive this early for me, age 24 and haven't yet accomplished anything important. Why would I? I assumed I had more time to enjoy my life and take it slow.

Turns out that alleyways aren't the best shortcuts and I'm only just realising that as my killer stands above me, searching my jacket for anything he might want. He's not even worried someone else might wander through, leisurely checking my pockets for something worth any money. It seems he's finally satisfied with his haul as he goes to get up to leave. Sadly for him he seems to have forgotten the knife he left behind or maybe he just assumed I would stay down and bleed out as he left. I cough blood as I lift my hand to the knife in my gut and yank it out in one smooth motion and without giving him a moment to comprehend what is about to happen I plunge it in his neck and watch in satisfaction as blood splurts out, his eyes wide and mouth parted just now realising what happened. Karma is a bitch.

He can only helplessly giggle at his unfortunate ending, half of him is pissed at the stupid thug for killing him while the other half is intrigued and impatient to see what the afterlife is like. A small frown tugs at his face while he wonders about all the different scenarios that can play out once he finally bleed out. Will it be heaven and hell, an abyss for eternity? Or maybe he will just become non-existent. His last idea before he dies is reincarnation.

And that's why he is pleasantly surprised when he opens his eyes, happy he is still existing even when he is dead. His surprise fades rather quick when he spots his killer, neck hole-free and grinning like he's just won the lottery. Mike can only curse the fact he will spend the rest of his eternity in the abyss with his killer.

"Oy oy, if I didn't kill you there you would have died a few days later so really all I was doing was speeding it up a little" He rasped out.

"What do you mean I would have died later you shitty mugger, how could you know that!"

"Well of course I would know something so trivial as your death seeing as I am a minor death god myself"

"..."

"You're delusional" He scoffs at his obviously crazy killer, wondering if his death was due to some idiot doctor losing his mental patient.

"Tch, I am not a mental patient you impudent brat!"

Mike was about to continue his tirade into this 'death god' but abandoned it as soon as he noticed the man had read his mind. He began to sweat as he hoped the shitty death god had stopped reading but one look into the gods eyes and his hopes we're dashed as he was met with eyes full of amusement and relish? Mike couldn't help but flinch when his killer began to laugh.

"Ha! it's truly been to long since I've been talked to like this. Now as to the reason I killed you, it was a test! I knew you we're going to die soon but not how so I wanted to see what you would do while dying, for you to have the instincts or will to kill. Otherwise what I am about to do would have been useless!"

Mike had felt numerous emotions through the speech from scared to annoyed then to confusion. What did this god want? Truly it couldn't be something as cliche as reincarnation, he had read some isekai and usually they got some pretty goddess or someone like Morgan Freeman not someone who looks so average you could forget them within a minute!

"Tch, you're thinking of the big gods but yes you're right about the situation you are in and no I'm not giving you 3 wishes it would be cliche. (And I don't have nearly enough power for that but he doesn't need to know that) I'm going to summon a spin wheel and whatever it lands on is what you get."

As soon as the god finished a rainbow coloured wheel appeared in the black abyss spinning, sometimes passing names that Mike recognised like Gaara or Ichigo. Finally starting to slow down Mike noticed it was scarily close to landing on Voldemort! And while he wouldn't mind if it had been Tom Riddle, Mike very much likes his nose and hair. (And if fanon was to believed then he had to worry about Mike Jr as well!) He could only breath a sigh of relief when it landed after Voldemort on someone who had both nose and nice hair.

Illumi Zoldyck

Mike was truly lucky when he thought about it getting the powers of the best nen manipulator ever seen, He was only dreading the amount of torture his family was going to put him through! He was stuck in these thoughts of pros and cons when the words of the god brought him out of them. he looked back up only to see the wheel still spinning! Mike was confused until he started reading what was on it. It was universe names like One Piece or MHA. He was truly lucky to escape the Zoldyck's! That feeling of luck went away as soon as he saw the name Warhammer 40k go by, He was truly doomed if he landed somewhere as fucked as that.

That was why he truly rejoiced when the spinner landed on...