Dream within a dream

A haze of memories flooded his consciousness in his last moments before he faded from this life. He watched a scene of his father and brother grabbing a tackle box and fishing poles before getting into an old Chevy pickup. His father was a large man around 6'2 with a short brown-red beard and shaggy brown hair. He had once been considered very attractive, but I could only ever see the gruff man who taught me how to put a worm on a hook. My brother looked closer in appearance to myself, but he had a sharper nose smaller mouth, but he had a more mature personality making myself often feel unequal. Growing up I always hated fishing we either got up way too early or went out too late, the mosquitos we're always creating small itchy areas around my body.

It was a miserable time for us, regardless my father didn't take me and my brother out of kindness either. Per my mother's strong suggestion and guilt of being a bad father, she talked him into taking us with him. Which in turn caused him to sometimes be standoffish and sulking on the trips. I'm honestly not sure if he went fishing just to get out of the house or to have some alone time. I don't believe my father to be a bad person just a selfish person at times, he still provided for us and still suffered like any parent would make sure we were provided for.

I remember this fishing experience well, we drove to the local lake and I stood on the bank feeling tired and cold. The sky was still dark because we still had about three hours before the sun came up. My brother was a few years older than me he was helping my father unload the old Chevy truck my father was so proud of driving. Afterward, they started getting the fishing poles set up for our long night of torcher. I never liked bating fishing hooks whether it was with a worm, minnow, or a piece of chicken liver (the first two are alive and the last is bloody and nasty). Finally, I got a fishing pole and sat down in the sand to wait for unsuspecting prey.

…..It had been two hours and I had been setting in the same place for a while with no activity, and I was starting to drift off on the cold shore. Bump~ bump~ my pole shakes a little, not realizing something is different I remain dozing in the sand. Suddenly my fishing pole pulses hard and starts to fly out of my hands! Out of reflex, my small hand grasps the largest part of the fishing pole and finally, I'm shaken out of my sleepiness. My father sees the change where I was and yells out in surprise "Pull back hard on the pole as I taught you!" Remembering his lessons about hooking the fish I pull back and up on the pole in my hands. My father excited now starts saying "yes! Just like that!, That's my boy!" As he laughs between each comment.

After a hard-won battle was over, I finally got to see my prize it was a long grey fish with a large open mouth currently gasping for air with whiskers lining its face. 'Catfish" (was what my father said the fish was called) it's length was longer than my father's arm but he said it was still not considered fully matured. My father rubbed my head and told me he was proud of me, but I still had to take the hook out of the fish and toss it back into the lake. I was a little confused about why I had to go through all the effort to catch a fish but didn't get to eat the fish. I complied with his suggestion and as I tossed the fish into the lake, I remembered all this was years ago.

'I've already done this.' I said in confusion. I suddenly remembered my trip to work this morning, the kid in the street, and the train! "Dammit! Am I dead?" I looked around and what was once a peaceful scene of water and familiar love was now a dark world of wispy smoke. "What is this place?" I said out loud. "Take this kiss upon your brow…" A voice said but it seemed to come out of nowhere or everywhere. "A. A kiss?" The confusion was apparent from my tone of voice. "Look here voice I don't need any kisses just tell me what is going on," I said a little panicky. "And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow…" The voice continued as if it could not hear my embarrassing words a moment ago. "You are not wrong, who deem… That my days have been a dream;" A bad feeling started to come over me but the more I wanted them to stop the voice continued. "Yet if hope has flown away... In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none," I wished I was wrong the poem had a meaning in this situation and I hope I was overthinking the meaning of the poem but at this point, I couldn't be sure. As the poem finished its last few lines I said them together with the mysterious voice. "Is it, therefore, the less gone? All that we see or seem... It is but a dream within a dream." '~Edgar Allan Poe: "A Dream Within a Dream' I finished by saying the poem title and author and the voice that seemed to come out of nowhere stopped saying anything for a long time.

            What felt like days passed in this dark world of mist. "Am I in Hell?" I wondered out loud. If this is hell wouldn't it be full of fire and brimstones, possibly a demon or two with pitchforks telling me all the evil deeds I have ever done wrong? I think back to the poem I heard when I realized I was here. It was called a dream within a dream depicting a person that has died and realized his whole world was nothing but something he dreamed up, but the moral was 'would a world just because it was dreamed up be any less real if & when you lost such a world.' Of course, it wouldn't be any less of a loss, in fact, it would probably be more crushing. This is what he was afraid of was his life just a dream. His brother, father his family were just part of his or someone else's imagination. He didn't think he could take such a revelation, it was fine if he died but if everything stopped existing when he did… What sacrifice, what selfless act. It was all just…huff. He had to stop thinking about it.

            "I can assure you," The voice was back like it had ever left. "You have overthought the gift I have given you." Phil was relieved when he heard the voice's words. "I have read the poem to you to expand your mind about your rebirth nothing else." Phil was dumbfounded. Rebirth? What does he mean, like being born again? I was never really into the religious stuff and being dunked underwater seems like a public bath not really my scene. "Hahaha, no young one, not baptism although it's not as useless as it may appear. I am talking about reincarnation into another body." The Voice said obviously reading his mind.

I had to think this through he read a dream within a dream because he wanted me to think about the possibility of other worlds does this mean I will get a choice. "I knew you were a bright one although it took me interacting with you a little more to get your mind on the correct path." The voice said confirming my thought process, but he did seem a little frustrated I didn't immediately understand his intention but I'm not sure if anyone could get 'reincarnation' from the poem "dream within a Dream". "Ok, does this mean I can choose any world I can think of to reincarnate in, or do you have a list of possible places to reincarnate?" I said attempting to get a little more assistance in this little game he decided to play. "I won't be able to tell you everything a little one, but I recited the poem to give you an idea. Every story is real, and time is not a fixed variable" The voice said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

            "Then I only have one question more," I said need to know this before I continue. "Why me?" The voice that had been animated so much before had quieted to nothingness for a long time, He was so quiet I began to think he wasn't going to explain. "This is a long story I hope you never understand but I will sum it up by saying you are one of my own and refuse to let you continue the same." After a pause, he continued. "I will not explain further on this matter, but I will ask you where ever you choose to reincarnate let it be somewhere you can gain strength because in all realms 'Chaos' rules." I don't ask any more questions and think hard before giving him my answer. "I want to reincarnate as Goku from 'Dragon Ball' and I also wish to have a system," I say with conviction. "Very well. I will tell you your system will be limited and will only give you a little information and it will be up to you to get stronger. As his voice faded so did the mist and the world around me.

 The next time I open my eyes I felt pain as a weird-looking alien was looking down at me with a scanner in his hand.