2 Rebirth of the Uchiha Chapter 2

Sasuke calmly moved all the paperwork to one side of the desk - his father's, the seat of a clan head - and began the standard process. Strike head firmly against desk until stupid things are no longer quite so irritating.

THUD - THUD - THU - "Uchiha-san? Are you feeling okay?" The voice is the latest ANBU to be assigned to the clan, after Sasuke told the Hokage that he was not going to break his family up any more than it already was. The compromise was simple, Sasuke took the position of 'clan head', more or less a figurehead, and ANBU squads would be posted to watch over the compound. The old man had to have known about the horrors that came with the title.

Sarutobi sighed contentedly as he worked his way through a final stack of paperwork. If he'd only known how much Sasuke was willing to do for the village, he'd have declared him the fifth Hokage at birth and washed his hands of the whole mess.

"I'm just frustrated, Neko-san. I mean, look at all these applications for me to join the CRA. Do none of these people realise I'm nine?" sighed the boy, glaring at the paper and debating whether or not to fireball the whole stack.

"Don't even think about it." warned the ANBU member sitting across from him. "We're in a wooden building, remember?" As Sasuke moved to resume his 'paperwork process', the masked ninja stood up and walked over to him.

"Come on, Uchiha-san." Sasuke stared at him, unsure of what the statement meant or could mean or - great, the damned forms even had him thinking in legalistic doublespeak. Idly, Sasuke wondered where he picked up the word doublespeak. Or legalistic, that was a strange one. Oh, right, elite ninja trying to get his attention.

"-iha-san? Are you listening to me?" Sasuke shook some of the madness out of his head before answering. "Apologies, Neko-san. I'm just-" "Exhausted? Stressed? Beginning to hallucinate? Frankly, Uchiha-san, I think you need a break."

"I can't afford to take a break, Neko-san. Between the council, clan duties and trying not to flunk out of the academy..." Sasuke trailed off, doing some quick mental arithmetic. "I'm missing the academy right now, aren't I? Kami damn it!" he growled, furious with himself. How was he supposed to fight That Man if he couldn't even pass the academy? A sudden jolt cut off his mental tirade. He felt a pair of arms supporting him as he looked down at a needle in his arm. He was reeally comfy all of a sudden... sleepy times...

Tenzo shook his head sadly. The kid was working himself to an early grave. Maybe the Hokage would be willing to take back some paperwork... probably not. Oh well, only a few more years until the Uchiha assets would be fully available. Surely someone could be hired to deal with some of the workload. Hopefully a lot of someones.

SCENE BREAK

Uchiha Rei sighed as the final bell rang to signal the end of the school day. Another day where Sasuke-Niisan was stuck doing clan stuff at home. That meant one of the weird, creepy masked guys was going to bring them home. Niisan said they were there to protect them, but Rei remembered how That Man had had a creepy mask of his own. A ferret, appropriately enough. Or was that a weasel? She could never tell those two apart.

"Uchiha-san? ANBU Boar is here to collect you." came the voice of Mizuki-sensei. Rei blinked as she stared at him. He was plenty weird even without a mask.

"Okay, Mizuki-sensei. I'll meet him out front in a minute." Rei sighed. She knew Niisan was worried about them, but he was so overprotective. Nobody was stupid enough to mess with an Uchiha in broad daylight. She knew it was pointless, though. It wasn't like she could just sneak out and go play with the kids her age in the park with an ANBU looking for her...

Of course, if an elite ninja couldn't catch an academy student gone awol, then Niisan would be mad at him instead of her. If she got caught, then no harm, no foul. Just practicing her ninja skills...

Boar smirked behind his mask. First ANBU assignments were the stuff of horror stories among the regular forces. Frankly, from that one story about ANBU Peacock, the pink thong and the Mist Swordsman, he'd nearly dropped out before his first week was up. But he'd had nothing to worry about, this was just babysitting. Babysitting a kid, at that. He walked into the classroom to find it... empty. Huh.

Okay, maybe the bathroom. Knock, knock. No response. Oh, dear. This was not good. Very much not good. Okay, another bathroom. Nothing. Bad, bad, so bad. Back to classroom! Store cupboards, empty. Desks, empty. Potted plants - no. Window, open. Wait, window open?

Oh shit.

SCENE BREAK

Rei smiled as she looked around at all the kids her own age - who weren't her cousins - playing together. Walking over to some of the civilian children from her class, she introduced herself. It had been so easy to get away from her bodyguard. Too easy. He was probably hiding somewhere nearby, to let her think she was awesome. What kind of elite couldn't track an academy student?

Boar sneezed mid-jump, losing his balance and landing in a dumpster in an alley. "Oh Kami, it's all over my mask..."

A snide laugh broke Rei out of her stupor. "Why would an elite Uchiha want to play with lowly civilians like us?" sneered one of the girls, Izumi, if Rei remembered correctly. "Surely, you'd prefer to go back to your mansion?"

"I- wha-?" she muttered, confused. She didn't live in a mansion. Niisan said the mansions were too hard to keep clean... okay, so they maybe had a point. Unfortunately, it seemed the rest of the group agreed with Izumi. They turned away from her, chatting about civilian fashions and which boy was hottest...

"Okay, you are aware that we are eight years old, right? We're too young to talk about that kind of thing." Izumi whirled around, her pale blue hair whipping out behind her. "Just go home, princess. I'm sure nobody wants your clan associating with people like us."

Blinking back tears, Rei ran off into the woods, not giving them the satisfaction of making her cry. Hiding behind a tree, she curled up, hugging her knees to her chest. The fact that she'd never realised they all hated her hurt almost as much as actually being hated did. She was a smart girl. She should have known...

"A-are you alright?" came a voice to her right. Rei quickly wiped her eyes before looking up at the source. Wow. That... was a lot of orange.

"'Scuse me, are you ok?" repeated the boy, blue eyes staring down at her. It was then she noticed the marks on his cheeks. Three long whisker marks on each side. Rei responded in the only way that came to mind.

"What are you wearing?" she gaped, eyes drawn to the monstrous jumpsuit. It was just so... neon. Shaking her head, she started over. Best to make a good first impression. "Sorry. My name is Uchiha Rei. Who are you?" A huge grin threatened to split the boy's face in two at that.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, Future Hokage! Nice to meetcha, Rei-chan!" he declared, striking a pose in the middle of his introduction. "I'm gonna be the strongest ninja ever and make everybody acknowledge me!"

"..." For the first time she could remember, Rei was speechless. This boy was an idiot, but... a nice idiot. He didn't treat her like an outsider. "...would you like to play?" Oh Kami, she sounded like a toddler.

"Sure thing, Rei-chan!" he beamed, offering her a hand. Rei smiled shyly in response, as the two ran off towards the park.

SCENE BREAK

Boar stumbled into the Uchiha compound, covered in dirt, ready to meet his fate. Maybe if the gods were merciful, Hokage-sama would give him a quick death.

"Hiya, ANBU-san!" came a cheery voice. A dark-haired girl bounded up to him, smiling widely. "Thanks for letting me go to the park today. I know Niisan said we shouldn't, but I'm glad you brought me."

"...no problem, Uchiha-san. Please excuse me." Boar stepped quickly around the corner before dropping to his knees in fervent prayer. "Praise be to Kami! I swear I shall serve you as your willing servant..."

Rei walked into the house at the centre of the compound just as Sasuke fumbled his way into the hall, silently cursing Neko for costing him valuable paperwork hours.

"Hi Niisan!" chirped Rei as Sasuke came into view. "Guess what! I made a new friend today!" she beamed. Sasuke gave a smirk despite himself. Be nice to the kids, they can help you deal with Neko.

"Really? Who?" he asked. While his year was the one with the clan heirs, all the aacademy classes had children from at least one of Konoha's clans. Any connection would help in future alliances. Politics were needlessly complicated, really.

"His name is Uzumaki Naruto." Those five words were all that Sasuke heard, the rest fading into white noise.

What. The dead last of his year had somehow made friends with an Uchiha. The guy wore neon orange! Wait, was that... yes, that was a blush. "Oh dear sweet Sage of Six Paths, my cousin has a crush on Uzumaki. Well fuck." Sasuke responded to this realisation in the expected manner.

THUMP!

"ANBU-san! Niisan fell asleep in the hall!"