19 Rebirth of the Uchiha Chapter 19

Rei groaned as she closed the history textbook the size of her head, looking askance at Daiki practicing his sword forms outside. She could have been learning new jutsu or working on her taijutsu, but no. Neko-san and Hyou-san were insistent that she prepare for the final exams coming up in two months. Two damn months of this! the only consolation was that everyone else was expected to do the same, after Sasuke-nii did it before his.

Megumi bounded in, clutching the stuffed black cat Naruto had gotten her. "Rei-nee-chan? When're Sasu-nii an' Naru-nii coming back?" she asked, face the picture of innocence. Rei's eyes narrowed.

"What did you do, Megumi-chan?" she demanded, not fooled in the least.

"N-Nothing... It's just... Mari and Kenta went off to play with Konomaru, and they said they were making a surprise for Naru-nii an' Sasu-nii." The five-year-old explained, causing Rei to pale. Sarutobi Konohamaru, the Hokage's grandson, who was determined to prove himself as good of a prankster as Naruto-kun, had somehow talked two of her cousins into going along with his latest plot?

This would not end well.

"Megumi-chan, go tell Neko-san that me and Daiki are going to sort out some clan business. While you're at it, tell him to get the first aid kit for Mari and Kenta." she decided, tying back her hair and heading for the door.

"Are they hurt?" enquired the younger girl, all wide eyes and worried expression. Rei grabbed Daiki by the collar as she called back.

"They will be!"

SCENE BREAK

"This is gonna be easy, man!" chirped the newest recruit to Uchiha Duty. "Keeping an eye on a bunch of brats-" SPAK! Neko slapped the back of his head in admonishment.

"You don't talk about them like that. They're good kids, and just as important, they're our clients. Just put your mask on, Uma." he sighed. With Inu 'retired' and most of the other guards being sent on missions, he'd been tasked to tort- er, train, some new candidates for the ongoing protection duty.

Megumi bounded up to them, followed by Anzu and Takuya, who began clamouring for Neko to listen, with none of them actually getting their message out. Neko mask-palmed, holding up his other hand to quiet them.

Megumi was the only one who didn't get the message. "Neko-san, Rei-nee and Daiki are gonna go find Konomaru an' Mari and' Kenta, and she said she's gonna need somebody to help after she makes them hurt." she murmured, hiding behind Anzu, who glared indignantly at Uma.

"Well, Uma-san, looks like we've got your first task as part of your protection. Go collect our wayward chibis while I keep an eye on these ones," Neko said brightly, scooping up Megumi as she hid behind her stuffed toy. "Just make sure you show them your paperwork first!" he called, even as Uma disappeared in a shunshin. Neko sighed in exasperation.

"He's doomed, isn't he, Neko-san?" "That he is, Takuya-kun. Now, let's get back inside before the fireworks begin."

SCENE BREAK

Rei leapt across the rooftops, gesturing to her cousin to follow, even as he checked his bokken. He'd insisted on bringing the wooden swords after she'd vetoed bringing live blades with him. "Just jump, for Log's sake! They're not going to fall!"

"You don't know that," he snarked, jumping anyway. "I still don't know why you brought me. Can't you just deal with them yourself? Come on, Hayate-sensei's gonna test me soon to see whether I'm good enough to be his apprentice after I graduate. I need to get these forms down perfectly." he stressed, making Rei roll her eyes. If he cared about the rest of his skills as much as he did about swords, Daiki'd be another prodigy like... Him. She grimaced, trying not to think about it.

"Nothing like some practical experience, Daiki-chan," she taunted, the two of them heading for the Sarutobi estate. "If they make a break for it, consider it practice." she continued airily, Daiki yelping as he nearly missed his footing. The two of them dropped back to street level, still running.

"Besides, it'll be fun-Oof!" Rei concluded, colliding with someone running full tilt in the opposite direction. Daiki blanched as he saw who they'd literally run into. "Rei? That's Hinata-nee's little sister, right?" Rei blinked dumbly as a Hyuuga chuunin ran around the corner after Hanabi.

"Hanabi-sama, are you okay?" he asked, bending down next to her. The hand he offered was swatted away as Hanabi stood and looked down at Rei.

"How dare you get in my way!" she declared, turning her nose up as she addressed Rei. "I am here on official Hyuuga clan business, not to be accosted by commoners like yourself!" Rei's eye twitched violently.

"We both crashed into one another, brat! Don't go putting all the blame on me!" she barked. Daiki sidled over to the horrified branch Hyuuga as the girls began a screaming match.

"So, you have one too? An uptight heiress with too much time on her hands, I mean." he began, before a stone hit him in the face. Rei hadn't even paused in her arguments. Daiki rubbed his now bruised nose, gesturing to the older man to move a little further away. "I'm sure they'll calm down soo... eventually," he smiled, offering a hand. "Uchiha Daiki."

The man blinked, hesitantly shaking. "Hyuuga Futoshi. I-I'm sorry about Hanabi-sama. She came here looking for the Honourable Grandson after something happened at the academy... Hiashi-sama was considering sending her from this year, but not anymore," he sighed, watching the 'my clan is better than your clan' competitors. "Hanabi-sama blames the Honourable-"

"He prefers Konohamaru, just so you know," Daiki interrupted. "Actually, could you check and see if he's here? We need to find him before Rei has a fit-" THWACK. "Damnit! Stop with the fucking rocks already!" "Then stop being wrong!"

Futoshi blinked, shaking his head. "W-we already checked. The Hon- er, Konohamaru-san is nowhere near here." he continued, as the two girls activated their Dojutsu, Rei having a single tomoe in her left eye and two in the right. Hanabi had bulging veins next to her eyes. Daiki facepalmed, muttering under his breath.

"You grab your one and I'll grab mine. Heh, phrasing." he chuckled. Futoshi just stared blankly. "Oh, come on, I'm eleven! Just be ready to run with Hanabi-san." he instructed, dashing ahead and snatching the ribbon from Rei's hair.

"What the- DAIKI! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" she snarled, running after her cousin and leaving Hanabi mid-sentence. The Hyuuga girl pouted as she turned back to Futoshi.

"I do not care for that girl, Futoshi-san."

SCENE BREAK

Uma glanced around at the streets below. The brats had only left a few minutes before him, how far could they have gotten? An Uchiha fan on the street below caught his eye and he quickly used the Shunshin to land in front of his target, picking up the girl by her collar. "Uchiha-chan, I'm afraid you're going to need to come with m-!" his eyes bulged behind the mask as a young boy strode forwards and punched him in the crotch. Hard. (a/n: pun not intended.)

"Don't you grab my sister, you dumb assface dumbass!" Uchiha Zanji ranted, kicking the man's shins and smacking him over the head with a tree branch he'd found... in the middle of a street.

"Z-Zanji, h-he's an ANBU. P-please stop b-before we get in t-trouble." Uchiha Nene whispered, doing a very convincing impression of a certain Hyuuga heiress. Her twin paused, his impromptu bludgeon held overhead.

"But Nene..." he whined, as Uma grieved for his future children. "He's a dick..."

"H-he must have a m-message for us, Zanji," she pressed on. "M-maybe Rei-nee sent him, o-or one of the other ANBU."

"But Nene..." he continued, before sighing and moving in uncomfortably close to Uma. "If you scare my sister like that again, I'll do the things Sasuke-nii told all of us never to do to another Konoha-nin." he threatened, Uma blinking back tears.

"I'm so- I am sorry, Uchiha-san. I was sent to retrieve your cousins who left the compound unescorted," he managed to say, proud of the fact he hadn't squeaked in pain. Much. "If neither of you have seen any of them..." he prompted, receiving a pair of simultaneous negative answers and nodding in acknowledgement. "In that case, I will take my leave." he said, vanishing in a puff of smoke.

The twins dusted themselves off, before Zanji swore profusely, Nene managing to both pale and redden upon hearing it. "What is it, Zanji? What's wrong?"

"We just confirmed for some random guy who claimed to be an ANBU that one or more of our cousins are probably wandering around alone!" he barked, drawing a lot of attention from random passers-by before grabbing his sister by the arm and ragging her bodily towards the compound. "We've got to tell the real ANBU!"

SCENE BREAK

Konohamaru grinned widely at his co-conspirators, whose reactions were varied. Moegi and Udon were smiling and praising their leader, Mari was grinning evilly and Kenta... was wondering how he got roped into this. Oh, right, because they needed someone vaguely responsible with them because man, they were being dumb.

"It's just what he'd want, but how do we do it without getting caught?" Mari asked, voice unnervingly sweet. Konohamaru smirked in response.

"I've got it set up so that it'll dry to a different colour. Jiji thought I was studying for chemistry," he snickered at the thoughts of outsmarting the Hokage. "I'm gonna prove to Naruto-nii that I'm an even better prankster than him!"

"Pft. Like that means anything to a real shinobi," Kenta scoffed, flopping onto the grass. "You should use your time to practice some actual skills instead of dicking around like this." he mocked before Mari bopped him on the head.

"Kenta, be nice! Konohamaru-kun is our friend!" she admonished, hands on her hips.

"He's your friend, I'm just here to make sure you don't get yourselves killed in your shenanigans." Kenta complained, as Konohamaru tried to square off against the taller boy. Due to the latter being horizontal, he was less than successful.

"Naruto-nii says that pranking is the best way to learn stealth, ambush tactics and escape techniques." he said accusingly, poking Kenta in the chest. The Uchiha (technically) slapped the hand away lazily.

"Ten ryo says you have no idea what that's supposed to mean," he snarked, before two blurs erupted from the trees, colliding with Konohamaru and landing painfully on top of him. "Okay, I'll admit it. Today is a pretty good day." Kenta chuckled, Mari rushing over to the groaning forms of Rei and Daiki.

"What's wrong, Rei-nee?" Mari asked, as Daiki tried to untangle his legs from the Sarutobi's. "Are Sasuke-nii and Naruto-nii home already? We heard they were gonna be here today, so we-"

"Mari, did you ask to leave the compound? Did you wait for me or Daiki or one of the ANBU? You know the rules!" Rei scolded, tying her hair back again. "Sasuke warned all of us about being more careful! What were you thinking!"

"Oh, good, you're all together," came a new, condescending voice. "That'll make things easier. Now, you brats are coming with me. Neko's been worried about you." Uma said softly, this time ensuring he was out of melee range.

As Mari and Kenta sighed and moved to follow Uma back to the compound, they found their path blocked by a drawn sword, courtesy of Daiki. "Hang on. Where's your mission statement? We're not going to follow you anywhere without some kind of proof." he said sternly, placing his other hand on the hilt of his second blade, as Rei moved into the starting position for the Bojuken.

"For Kami's sake. Just come on, you damned brats!" Uma growled, taking a step forwards, before a pair of crossed blades lashed out, followed by a fireball from Rei. He easily sidestepped the burst of flames, cracking his knuckles as he observed the kids taking their combat positions. "Okay then, time to teach you a lesson." he decided, rushing ahead and trying to strike at pressure points.

Daiki ran ahead, slashing widely to cover for the younger students. "Nitoryu:Kenkousen!" he cried, unleashing twin chakra slashes towards Uma's position. Uma drew his tanto and parried the strikes, throwing a kick that Rei barely blocked, catching Kenta with a palm strike.

"Seriously?" Uma laughed even as Konohamaru moved in front of him. "Like, that's all? Sheesh, I was getting worried. Clearly, tales of your escapades have been greatly exaggerated." he mocked, easily deflecting the kunai aimed at him.

"You won't hurt my friends!" Konohamaru declared, making a ram seal and holding it as he readied his chakra. "Have a taste of the ultimate Kage Killer technique! Oiroke no Jutsu!" he yelled, before vanishing in a puff of smoke and transforming into a... less than dressed young woman.

There was silence for a moment before Uma made a strange gurgling noise and began clawing at his mask, even as Konohamaru dropped his technique. "What's going on?" the Sarutobi asked, bewildered, as Kenta and Mari wrapped their opponent's legs in ninja wire, Rei securing the other end to a rock jutting out nearby.

Daiki charged forwards and kicked as hard as possible, sending the man careening over the edge of the rock face nearby, where he was left dangling in midair. "ANBU masks are watertight. I'm gonna guess that his nosebleed filled it up pretty quick- oh, that's disturbing," he commented as the blood began dripping through the eyeholes of the mask, Uma twitching uncomfortably. "Now, we'd best do whatever it is you came here to do and head home before Neko-san loses it."

"Wait, what? No, we head home now!" Rei scolded, as Moegi and Udon stood in awe of their leader, who lapped it up. "Daiki, what in Log's name are you playing at?" The younger boy shrugged before answering.

"C'mon, Rei-nee, you know as well as I do that we'll never hear the end of it if they don't get finished. Besides," he grinned. "You did say we'd have fun." Rei, faced with six expectant faces, sighed in resignation.

"Alright, alright, but don't think you're off the hook for this!" she warned, turning to Konohamaru. "What exactly are you planning, anyway?"

SCENE BREAK

Teams Ten and Seven approached the gates, Haku and Zabuza following closely as the group moved in awkward silence. Most of them.

"I have to say, Sasu-chan, I'm really disappointed in you. I mean, I had to go and avenge my own death." "You didn't actually die, baka. It didn't count. And I warned you about the fucking pet names!"

Ino moved closer to Sakura, the two of them having reconciled after the battle. "So have they admitted it yet?"

"NO!" Sasuke roared suddenly. "How many Log-damned times do I have to say it? I Am Not Gay!" Shikamaru snorted as Naruto laughed heartily. Sasuke whirled around, eyes red in his anger. "What's so funny? You bastards want proof? I'll give you proof!" he snarled, groping Ino and Sakura, who immediately turned scarlet, before grabbing Haku and pulling the ice-user into a kiss.

Naruto collapsed in fits of giggles as the rest of the group stared in blank shock. Zabuza, especially, was looking vaguely nauseous. Looking around at the group, Sasuke's eye twitched and he groaned. "Haku... you're not a girl, are you?" he asked in exasperation, being answered with a shake of the Kiri native's head. "Okay, I'm going to have to wash out my mouth and possibly vomit profusely. No offence." he offered, as they finally arrived at the gates, which were suspiciously empty.

"None taken," Haku muttered as they stopped. "Aren't there meant to be guards here?" he asked, as Iruka collected some water vapour in his hand, tossing the orb into one of the guard posts beside the gate. He was rewarded with the sounds of sputtering as a chuunin with a bandage across his face stood up quickly, wiping his eyes.

"Hey, Kotetsu. Teams Seven and Ten returning from our missions. Where's Izumo?" Iruka asked conversationally, as though he hadn't woken the man. Kotetsu glared at the jounin before he burst into chuckles.

"Okay, I probably deserved that, man. Izumo's gone to- well, you'll see when you get inside." he smirked, waving them through. 'Wait, was that Momochi Zabuza? No, no, probably that Uzumaki kid screwing around with transformations again. Iruka, your team is so freaking overpowered...'

The ten shinobi walked through the gates, their eyes locked on the Hokage monument scrawled with graffiti. The area to the right of the Yondaime's head held the largest message:

"Welcome home, Sasuke-nii and Naruto-nii!"

Seeing several ANBU members chase a cackling Konohamaru past them, Naruto grinned at the Kiri-nin. "Welcome to Konoha! You guys are gonna like it here."

Zabuza turned an interesting shade of grey. "I don't suppose we could leave right now?" he asked hopefully, before a pair of Kage bunshin glomped him and Haku.

"Nope!"