1 Chasing Shadows

His throat became raw from all the harsh screams being torn out of his throat as his body was pounded into the mattress. Nails dug into his hipbones as his ass was brutally devoured. Yet the pain felt so good. He craved it. The pain made him feel alive. His nails dug into the shoulders above him, and his mouth fell slacken in pleasure as he felt his finish approaching.

"Ah, ah yes. Yes there. Harder, harder dammit!"

A chuckle was heard from above. Followed by the pressing of a sweaty forehead. Red orbs stared into blue, dilated by desire. Soft words that the blond could barely capture were whispered into his heated skin.

He craned his ear and begged through raw, abused lips for a repeat. He begged to hear those words again. Pleaded through the thrusts and snaps of hips to hear those words uttered into existence like stardust and the heavens.

Only when he opened his eyes again all he saw was the ceiling light. His hands reached out for empty air and unwelcoming darkness. He felt cold. He felt… cheated.

Then he felt something warm and wet. Without even looking downwards, Naruto Uzumaki for the fifth time this week, threw his arm over his face and said, "Fuck me."

/

"You look like death."

Naruto looked up from his lukewarm coffee and scowled. "Thanks, Gaara. You're really helping out my self-esteem."

"That's my job," Gaara smirked as he set his food down at the circular table. "Also I find a sick pleasure in calling you out on these things."

"There's a word for that you know. It's called being a motherfucking sadist."

"Or a good friend. Seriously though," Gaara pulled apart his chopsticks, said a quick prayer, then dug into his meal, "you look terrible. Rough night?"

Naruto dropped his head to the table, releasing a groan. "Couldn't sleep a damn wink. I swear I'm developing insomnia." Or at the very least, going insane. Every night for the past two weeks Naruto has been waking up in a cold sweat with stained underwear and an ache in his heart that refused to go away. He couldn't understand it—the same dream over and over again where he's obviously fucking someone but he can't make out who or what?

Gaara took a bite of his meal then placed down his chopsticks by his bowl. He reached out and ran his fingers through Naruto's hair. "I'd say it's more stress related than you being an insomniac. Especially considering you still don't know where you stand with Sakura."

"Don't psychoanalyze me."

"I'm a Psych major," Gaara smirked. "I psychoanalyze on autopilot. Also, this is the only conclusion I can come to since you haven't told me exactly what about your dreams is bothering you."

Besides the fact that he feels like crying every time he wakes up but he doesn't know why? Or, because, he's 90% certain that instead of being the one fucking, he's the one being fucked? Or, hey here's another one, that every single second of the dream seems so real that when he wakes up he's so confused and disorientated he has no idea who or what he is anymore?

"It's embarrassing," Naruto finally relented, muttering into the table.

"What's embarrassing?"

Naruto's head perked up as Sakura and Ino came by their table. Naruto felt his heart swelling to the point of bursting within his chest. Good Lord, being that gorgeous should be a crime. Sure, all Sakura was wearing was a pair of jeans, leather boots, and a sweater but she made it look so perfect.

"Naruto's insomnia." Gaara explained as Sakura and Ino took their seats.

Sakura frowned, "I thought you said you were getting better."

"I am!" Or at least he thought he was. Then last night happened and all things went to shit. "It's just… random—the dreams, I mean."

"Maybe you should cut back on your late night snacking," Ino wagged her plastic spoon Naruto's way. "Seriously, making a shit ton of ramen at three in the morning is not healthy."

"In my defense I'm a poor college student who can't cook for shit."

Sakura clucked her tongue and shook her head. "You could always teach yourself how to cook."

Naruto snorted before slipping his arm around Sakura's shoulders. He leaned forward and nuzzled his nose into her cheek. "Why should I when I have you?"

She scoffed, pushing Naruto away. "That sounds very much like the patriarchy talking."

"Okay, Sakura. Just because you're taking a class on Gender in Society doesn't mean everything's about the fucking patriarchy!"

Once again, Sakura and Naruto fell into their routine argument. Naruto said something stupid. Sakura popped a blood vessel. Naruto almost received a bloody nose. Ino took a Vine and Gaara watched it all in slight amusement.

"And to think I actually gave a damn about your insomnia. I take it back, you prick."

"Aw, come on, babe! It was just a joke!"

"Don't call me 'babe'."

"Sakura then. Fine, jeez. I just…" Naruto fixed her with his best pout and puppy dog eyes. "We haven't seen each other in a week and I… miss ya, you know? In my arms, in bed… with me."

His sincerity seemed to have some effect, as Sakura's guard visibly lessened. Her shoulders relaxed and her face became much more at ease. "I've been… busy."

The blond's frowned deepened. He walked his fingers across the table step by step to intertwine them with Sakura's, but she moved them away at the last second. Recently, since the dreams started, Naruto's started to notice the distance between him and Sakura.

They were best friends since high school. Went to the same college and then one drunken night, they both decided to find solace within each other. Since then, when they needed one another, Sakura would come over to his apartment and they'd end up buried under blankets, escaping from their problems in their throws of passion.

But it was hard because Naruto had fallen so damn hard for Sakura. Ever since the first day of high school when Sakura had introduced herself to the class and proudly boasted about her black belt in Taekwondo. She was the type of girl who didn't take shit from anyone. She was strong and outgoing and intelligent. Sakura, to Naruto, was perfection in a bottle and for a while he thought that the bottle was in his grasp. All he had to do was unscrew the cork and let it flow.

Now he wasn't all that sure. Maybe Gaara has a point. Maybe these weird dreams and restless nights were the spawn of stress of not knowing whether or not Sakura felt the same way he did.

Conversation picked up a few seconds later once Ino started talking about fashion. A safe topic that got Sakura looking like her old self again. The girls gushed over the latest fall trends while Gaara shot out a quick text and then discreetly motioned to Naruto.

Naruto cocked an eyebrow and slightly pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Gaara: You okay?

Naruto: Yea man.

Gaara: Are you lying?

Probably, but Naruto didn't have a chance to respond when a loud scream ripped its way out of Ino's throat.

"Oh my God! Sakura, I forgot to tell you! The new guy is in my Econ class!"

Sakura screeched. "No way! I knew I shouldn't have dropped that class for Organic Chem."

Gaara shot Naruto a look that said: Do you know what's going on?

Fuck if I know, Naruto responded back telepathically, of course because he and Gaara were so on that level.

The girls were going back and forth about this new guy that arrived on campus about two weeks ago. Apparently he was a hot topic around campus, as all the girls regardless of their year wanted a piece of him. Naruto puffed out his cheeks in distaste, feeling the deep burn of jealousy run through his belly as Sakura spoke animatedly about her newfound interest.

"I heard he comes from a really rich family. I'm talking old money. Man, what I'd do to nab myself a hot, rich guy."

"Oi!" Naruto slammed his fists on the table. "Can you not? I'm sitting right here."

"Oh don't get your panties in a bunch, Naruto." Ino gave Naruto a haughty grin. "You have your good points too—probably," she muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing at all—Shit! Sakura, look at your 6 o'clock." Ino grabbed Sakura by the shoulders and turned her towards the cafeteria doors. Naruto looked too, wondering what all the commotion over this newcomer was all about.

Chatter disappeared out of existence when he walked in. Tall, dressed in dark jeans, a black shirt, combat boots, and emitting a whole lot of swagger, this guy obviously knew he was the shit. He took a few steps inside and brushed back his bangs from his face. His eyes gazed across the cafeteria until they stopped dead center on Naruto.

In that moment, Naruto felt like someone had punched him in the gut. The world around him blurred into darkness and all he saw was him. Him, who had those stupid onyx eyes and a stupid haircut and really tight fitting jeans. His skin was on fire. His bones rattled. Naruto's head swam and his vision got all blurry.

He had the urge to run up to this man and kiss him. And he had no idea why.

After what seemed like an eternity, the raven finally smirked. The darkness broke from all around him and Naruto felt like he could actually breathe.

"Naruto! Naruto!" Sakura slapped him across the face.

A harsh burn ran up the side of Naruto's face where he was slapped. "Ow! Fuck!" He grasped his throbbing cheek and glared. "What was that for?"

"You spaced out for a whole five minutes!" Sakura shook her head and got up from the table. "Come on, you're going home and going to bed."

"Oi!" Naruto didn't have the chance to protest because Sakura was already dragging him out of the cafeteria. A blush took over his face as Sakura went on a rant about how poorly Naruto was taking care of himself. He found himself smiling, bigger and bigger, even if Sakura was tearing him a new one.

"Thanks, Sakura. For caring and stuff."

Sakura looked over her shoulder, smiling softly. "Don't worry about it. You can think about returning the favor later when you're not passing out."

On his way out he caught a glimpse of the new student staring at him from the cafeteria doors. The raven's gaze was piercing, a frown on his face. Naruto looked away to Sakura, then back to the doors only to come up empty—the new kid was gone.

'Tch, what a weirdo.'

/

"Every time I come to your apartment it gets messier and messier." Sakura picked up a greasy paper plate still holding onto some pizza crusts. Her face crumpled up in disgust as she threw it out. "It's not that hard to clean up every once in a while, you know."

"Been busy," Naruto muttered into the cushion of his couch. He refused to go upstairs and lie in his own bed. When Sakura asked him why he simply answered back that he was lazy. That wasn't the case. His bed made the loneliness in his chest overwhelmingly larger. It was enough to swallow him whole. Sakura hadn't been spending as many nights over as she used to anymore. And those damn dreams had been fucking him up in more ways than he'd like to admit.

He rolled onto his side, watching Sakura go to work on his apartment. A small smile pulled across his lips as he studied her movements to memory. The way she floated around the room as if she commanded the space before her feet. The way she would talk to herself, subtle and quiet yet loud enough for Naruto to hear all the little comments she made about his space. How dirty it was. How there was no possible way that he could be functioning properly all by himself. It was sweet, in a way, and watching her brought a tiny smile to his face that he didn't dare to hide.

Sakura looked over her shoulder and caught Naruto's smile. She smiled back softly and playfully threw one of his socks at his face. "If you're feeling well enough to smile maybe you'll clean up a bit, yeah?"

"I can't help but smile when I look at you," Naruto responded truthfully. He saw her smile falter and decided to try again. "I can't help but feel happy around you."

"Naruto—"

"—No hear me out," he sat up a bit, putting his weight on his forearms. He reached out with his other hand, watching the hesitancy flash on Sakura's face. "This thing we have, our 'Friends with Benefits' deal. I… I don't want to do it anymore. I want us to be a real thing—you and me: boyfriend and girlfriend." He swallowed, his voice shaking. He paused, gauging her reaction. When he got nothing in return he continued. "You're important to me, Sakura. I've been in love with you since freshman year."

"No you haven't."

The words came quick. They were whispered but dealt a deadly blow. Naruto's eyes widened as Sakura slowly curled into herself.

"What we have Naruto—you know it's not love." She took a stutter filled breath. "I know that it's not love either. Please don't fool yourself. We found comfort in each other, that's all. So… so don't say that." She shook her head and walked over to where Naruto was laying on the couch. She bent down, their noses almost touching. She reached out and wiped away a few stray bangs. "Don't worry about you and me, worry about getting some rest okay?"

Sakura stood up, effectively putting enough distance between herself and Naruto. Naruto looked at his outstretched hand that once again grasped nothing but empty air. A dull throb resounded in his chest as he put his hand down. When Sakura went back to cleaning Naruto didn't bother to watch her. He turned over until he was facing the couch and closed his eyes, pretending that he still couldn't sense her moving around the room.

/

"So it's over?"

"I don't know. She hasn't been over in two weeks. Haven't seen her for even longer." Naruto buried his head on Gaara's shoulder, exhaling loudly. The past couple of weeks have been an utter shit show. Sakura had been outright avoiding all his calls and attempts at conversation.

Gaara let out a sigh, light green eyes gazing filled with barely hidden empathy as they looked upon his saddened friend. It was a rarity to see Naruto so down in the dumps. Normally he was such a big ball of energy. He was always smiling and never talked at a volume that was any quieter than a yell.

Naruto felt Gaara's grip on his shoulder tighten. A nose pressed itself to his hair, and soft whispers of encouragement fell onto his lips. Naruto curled in closer, selfishly soaking up the warmth Gaara provided.

"I really loved her, man." Naruto mumbled weakly.

Gaara only nodded. He was going to let Naruto do all the talking, choosing to simply sit back and listen. Gaara glanced up for a split second, eyes catching on a familiar pink-haired woman chatting it up with the new guy. He inhaled sharply, unconsciously tightening the grip of his fingers on Naruto's shoulder.

"What?" Naruto glanced up, eyes slowly trailing over to where Gaara's gaze was.

Gaara quickly covered Naruto's eyes with his hands. "It's nothing. I just realized I forgot to call my sister. She'll tear off my head—it's the third time this week."

"Oh… Okay. Hey! Then get your hands off me, Gaara! I can't see."

"I know," that's the point, Gaara thought as he watched the interaction unfold.

After a bit of struggling Naruto finally managed to rip Gaara's hand over his face. Only, now he wished he hadn't. Blue eyes slowly grew to the size of the moon as he saw that Gaara had so desperately tried to hide. Sakura was with the new kid—laughing, smiling, and blushing. It looked like she was having a hell of a good time. The new kid, too, standing over there smiling and probably saying the good shit that made her do all those things.

Naruto felt his blood boil. Gaara was saying something to him. Probably to calm down, to think rationally, to not get in over his head, but he couldn't hear over the harsh buzz that danced around in his ears. Before he knew it, Naruto was stomping over after Sakura had said her goodbye. The new kid was standing there, one hand in his pocket and the other messing around with his phone.

He stopped in his tracks when the new kid glanced up and their eyes met. Blue clashed with onyx and Naruto found that his feet were glued to the floor. Move, dammit, Naruto thought. Don't you dare be intimidating by him!

"Hey!" Naruto called out, pointing an accusatory finger the raven's way. "You've got a lot of fucking nerve!"

Naruto felt his resolve lessen a bit at the cold, despondent response he got back. The raven's gaze was intense. Naruto felt the strength almost leave his body in waves. He stayed grounded, eyes narrowed as he tried to beat the new kid in will power alone.

Then the new kid just scoffed, scoffed, and started to walk away.

"Hey!" Naruto tried again, this time running after the new kid. "Come back here, bastard! How dare you flirt with my girl, huh?!"

The raven paused in his steps, glancing over his shoulder. He smirked, "She flirts a lot for being a taken girl. You should probably talk to her about that."

He turned his head and started to walk again, leaving a fuming Naruto in his wake.

A vein popped. A nerve snapped. And somewhere a volcano was erupting and spewing out lava to wipe out an entire village. Naruto balled up his hands into fists, crossing the final steps between him and the new kid so he could give him 'something to talk about'.

"Why you—" Naruto reached out and grabbed the other's wrist. The pain that came afterwards was excruciating.

It was like someone had come up and whacked him from behind while punching him in the gut at the same time. Naruto was bombarded with a searing heat and a bone numbing cold all at once. Flashes of images swept through his mind at a blurring speed. He released the new kid's wrist, hand coming to grip his head.

The new kid frowned, taking a step, but Naruto waved his hand. "Don't… Don't you dare come near me!" He yelled, stumbling a bit as he bumped into Gaara's chest.

"What happened?" Gaara asked, frowning at how pale Naruto looked.

"I… I don't know." He glanced back only to find an empty space where the new kid was. He scowled, a flash of pain dancing through his head. "I just… touched him and I…" He was at a loss for words. It definitely wasn't normal to almost black out just from touching someone… right?

Right?

Gaara shook his head and wrapped his arm around Naruto's shoulder. He decided it was best to take Naruto home for the day. Get him some medicine from the convenience store down the street and make sure he didn't pass out again. Naruto nodded, too tired to put up a fight or to even bother lying that he felt okay. His head was pounding and his steps were shaky as they walked out of the Student Union building on campus.

"Do you know his name?" Naruto whispered. They were only a few blocks away from his apartment now.

"Do you really need to know?"

"Yes."

Gaara sighed, weighing the pros and cons before he decided to just fuck it. "Ino told me his name's Sasuke Uchiha."

Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke motherfucking Uchiha. There was something about that name that shook Naruto's bones and riled up his blood more than anyone he had ever accounted. He was still lightheaded from the touch, still a little woozy, and when he closed his eyes he saw Sasuke with that damned smirk on his face but not in this place. Not in this time, and definitely not out of spite or malice.

Naruto shook his head—well, as much as he could without feeling nauseous—and swore that Sasuke Uchiha would be his enemy for all eternity.

"He's going to regret it, Gaara," Naruto hissed, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands. "He's gonna regret the day he fucking messed with Naruto Uzumaki."

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