1 Keep it deep within your soul

Staring at a sea of people. People who were laughing and toasting. I became a bit absentminded.

I grabbed a few drinks and downed everything, unsure whether it was wine or water. My body feels numb, I can't even tell what's happening. I can only laugh and mask it all away.

My eyes were brimming with tears, but I hid it all, and kept it in hoping that it will just fade. But it didn't, the more I tried to, the more unbearable the pain gets.

I looked around for an open seat and sat down. I laughed at myself. Feeling pathetic, Crying from losing something that was never yours.

I started reminiscing about. Everything. In my partially opened eyes, I can see her smile. I can feel her warmth. This time, I can see her fully.

She was wearing a beautiful white gown. A white belo plastered around her head. She was looking at everyone, then finally at me, she was smiling.

I can feel tears forming. Because now she was not looking at me nor anyone else. She was staring at whom she will soon call her husband. I feel as if I was carying the whole burden of this world at my shoulders.

I know this isn't just a dream. This is a nightmare, my nightmare. A nightmare I will never wake up from. But I believe that once everything was done, it will all just dissapear completely.

I felt nauseous. I felt a deep pit of ache in my heart. Maybe it was the alcohol. But im used to drinking, I got used to drinking from dealing with business deals with clients.

But I feel my body growing cold and my eyes fluttering, I kept forcing myself to be awake. Nevertheless, something's wrong with my body. I can feel all my blood go to my head. Breathing heavily, I leaned against the table. But my senses are failing, my hand only felt the cold air having nothing to touch making me fall to the ground.

"Hey man you okay?" nudging my barely breathing body. He kept shaking me.

Having trouble breathing I feel something forming on my throat. 'cough' 'cough' Not realizing I actually coughed out blood, I felt so dizzy I fell to the ground.

"OH My GOD! Someone just... Call 911!" screams and shouts were heard through the whole venue.

Quickly a crowd formed within me in the middle.

"Someone get something soft for him to lie to on" a familiar voice ordered

"Here! I got one" I hear another voice getting closer to me. A smell I know like the back of my hand, a faint smile spread across my face. Barely noticable, but the owner of the familiar voice did.

"Nononoo please NO! Alex don't leave me. Not now!" Ah no wonder it was so familair. Opening my eyes a little exhausted me, but I was able to give a glance to the voice, no not voice, But Her.

The most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Something out of my reach. 'hik' 'hik' "You promised me?! didn't you remember? that we were supposed to be at each other's wedding. Didn't we make the promise together? please keep your eyes awake. I still haven't told you something I should have said years ago"

Pursing my lips "I-ts okay" was all I can say. I can hardly speak.

'siren' 'siren'

2 men were carrying my body with a stretcher and moving my body to emergency vehicle.

The last thing I remember was

The ambulance quickly took me to the hospital, I think it was futile.

I don't believe I'll get through this alive. At the hospital I was immediately taken to the surgery table.

A doctor wearing a white coat looked at the machine beside the surgery table, and quickly told another person, "This is an alcoholic overdose causing the heart failure, use the defibrillator!"

Another person like a nurse immediately pressed the defibrillator against my chest.

"Raise the voltage!" the doctor in the white coat shouted.

The nurse pressed the defibrillator against my body once more.

The doctor in the white coat shook his head, and told the nurse, "It's futile, give him a cardiac stimulant and ask him if he has any last words."

Outside the surgery room, guests, close friends and Alex's loved ones were waiting anxiously, the nurse ran out of the room and the crowd quickly threw questions after questions. "Q—UIET! EVERYONE SHUT UP! The patient was only given a stimulant to prolong his time. Now WHO IN HERE IS JULIE?"

Julie who was still in her wedding dress blanked out for a moment. Before she followed the nurse. Before walking in the nurse said to her, "He has little time left. We asked him if there's anything he wants. He said he has something to say to you"

Opening my eyes already pushed my body through its limits. I noticed Julie beside me. With great difficulty I opened my mouth. My voice hoarse almost sounding like a mutter.

"Ju-lie. Nothing will change even when I am gone. But I always——— always wanted to say to you I———I love—— you!"

"ALEX WHY NOW? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE? DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WAITED FOR YOU!? to say those same words, but not now. Not like this. Please Alex I can't bear to live without you" Julie was now crying, she was crying for me. She was breathing heavily.

I could almost feel my eyes closing but something kept me awake. "If you love me then why did you agree to marry somebody else? did you know after I was promoted I was planning to propose to you. But who knew? I was a step to late. The next thing I knew you were already getting married. It was too much to take. After that everyday I get drunk in pain, alcohol was the only thing numbing the pain"

She was guilty now, crying more and more. Countless tears dripping in my cheek.

"But atleast before I die. I was able to learn that you feel the same. Julie, thanks for everything. If there is a next life, I wish for us to be together. I'm sorry it turned out this way, If I only knew then maybe— maybe it might have ended differently, I think I can imagine us being a married couple together.

If it did end differently" The energy keeping me awake was constantly fading. But before that I wanted to do something "Julie"

She looked straight into my eyes although hers were really red and puffy.

"Yes?"

"Before I go, although I know I ruined your day, I wanted to ask you something" she replied,"You can ask me anything"

"Although it is late I was late. May I have the pleasure of being together with you, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, I will stay with you. Can you grant me my wish? Julie Elizabeth Adams, will you marry me?"

She was weeping once again, not of sadness but I believe its joy. a short lived joy. "I love you. I love you. I love you. Of course I'll marry you, and death won't do us apart!" at this moment I felt sleepy. Finally I can rest, I've said and done what I wanted.

 I had no more willpower to stay awake, I was satisfied with this last exchange

"Goodbye my wife" I closed my eyes, feeling my body turn cold.

"Alex!" was the last thing I heard.