6 Ch.6 Progress

After getting a basic understanding regarding the magic side of things there was nothing stopping me back literally nothing. I put all my efforts in learning magic within me and trying to sort out my memory palace. Even after putting almost 3 years into it. You can say the is progress minute. I was meditating one day and just concentrating on my mind and magic and I shall say 'it' for the lack of my vocabulary to describe it appeared before me. To describe it using crude words I could say it was an ocean of stars it took me a moment to realize where I was that I wasn't dead again no it was my mind and all it took was a moment after that I tried trying to get into the same state of mind again but it was difficult. I could safely say that those stars were my memories. I didn't see anything resembling my magic I could have missed it but it could have been deeper in the mind for all I know. Some memories were brighter the one's I made in the orphanage I didn't really have close friends or so I should say my adult mind prevented me from trusting very much I maybe had trust issues and the fact that knowing they wouldn't be a part of my life after I start earning was also holding me back but we had our moments I enjoyed being a child all in all. Running around playing with them without any worries knowing what entails of being grown up really put things into perspective.

On the magic side of things even though I had failed to visualize or see the core I was progressing nicely in performing little feats of magic. My first piece of accidental or willed piece of magic was nothing great insignificant even but it filled me with enough joy to not giving up with that and seeing inside my mind I was beyond happy. The magic did come to me in a funny way though

* weeks after my 7th birthday late August of 1985*

I was running around playing with other children they were usually older than me I never argued with them played with them and also never really gave them a reason to be angry with me we had an amicable relation they looked out for me in school saying that I was under them of sorts which was very amusing to me. I was just sitting in the courtyard looking blankly at the sky I was angry disappointed don't know the feeling running through me. I had given it my all for more than a year realizing I hadn't done any magic until now made me doubt myself was I so untalented that even Nevil would have his first piece of magic before me not to mention other talented kids. I was angry and upset I just wish to know to make it clear that it was real I tried and tried but nothing happened I just got up frustrated and threw a small stone towards the wall all my frustration and anger into it and there was no explosion or any loud sound but the rock itself got fully embedded into the wall. I was ecstatic more then I'll ever be for any further destruction of property I swear. I was very happy that day didn't do anything else just sat enjoyed playing silly games with other children ate happily with them and just slept no meditation nothing I felt relieved first time coming here I prayed that night to mother magic thanking her and asking her to watch over me. I felt Hope, hope of not being mediocre.

*back to the present*

After the incident the things and time passed by quickly. Magic was easier for me now I could life small stones make leaves flutter nothing great but I wasn't expecting no patronus anytime soon I was just happy. I feel like the major hindrance was me probably doubting myself. I was slowly growing closer to becoming a 8 years old. I had visited the diagon alley twice during this time the books I bought were on astronomy and runes. Why? Because both subjects seemed more theoretical, I did get weird looks grabbing the runes book but it's alright. I could understand the symbolism of the parts but I just remembered the runes and didn't really understand the uses of it yet. Either way I was content with the progress I made. Astronomy was a bit disappointing they used old methods to view stars and almost everything had a new name it took me quite a while but nothing big came out of it just being well prepared for school never hurt anyone. Why? Only 2 books basically it was the issue of money I had no real way to generate lots of money I had saving but I kept them with myself for emergencies.

On the mundane side of things, I was progressing well keep my scores on top of the list I had gotten a scholarship 2 years in a row. Intelligent orphan I was prime material for them to show how they helped children in need not that I mind anyway. I was progressing well in my martial arts as well mostly due to my meditation it kept me calm while getting hit, I was no prodigy but I was among the top near my age group. My body was well defined nothing bulky I kept myself slim because that's what how I wanted my body to grow compact muscles and slim looking body. Body of thor here I come!!