4 Ch.4 God? higher being?

I turned 5 they year is 1983. The progress I have made Is significant the meditation feels easier now. I don't have access to my magic or mind palace or so they call at the moment but I can get control of my emotions easily now I always had anger issues so where people move with sticks which can explode walls getting control of emotions seems like a good idea. No accidental magics as of yet but I do feel it clearly now. I don't 'see' it like during my meditations yet but I can feel the innate difference in me. Mostly due to living a full life without it I guess but yes there is definitely something there.

I got into some sort of schedule this year which includes waking up early in the morning going for a run of sorts just to keep healthy. Going to school. yes, I started school already a year early? not sure might be due to my late birthday or the fact that I'm smart for my age. I'm not quite the social butterfly if that even is a thing for little kids. I'm usually quiet during school answering the questions making myself out to be the quite and intelligent type usually just sitting in the back sleeping or mediating to get rid of the boredom or solving puzzles to get rid of the time it's really unbearable I manage somehow after school eating I go to a dojo of sorts nearby it teaches many school of martial arts apparently there are competitions for different age groups like under 6 under 8 under 12 so on. I'm planning to enter under 6 early next year. I'm not prodigy but I should be able to beat little 6-year olds. Now that I think about it, it does sound a tad bit wrong but it'll provide the money to buy books which are very necessary for me right now.

Everything related to mundane side of the world is going well. I'm on track to top the school year as well which might end up me getting the scholarship as well. I have sudden urge to laugh out loud evilly. The next thoughts I have been troubled with are gods or higher entity and such things. In the last life I was non believer or atheist of sorts. I believed in higher sort of being existed of course but didn't really worship something that I didn't see and I didn't believe someone will help you if you don't help yourself but that changed in this life of course with magic being real. So, I decided to pray to a higher being I know that existed of course which is "Mother magic" now how someone might ask well it seems logical, I guess. If Hogwarts can develop some sort of sentience while being a highly concentrated magic place then the magic itself that existed for eternity has obviously her own way of working things not to point the whole prophecy business and the rituals.

I am obviously not doing anything drastic just whenever something good happens or a good day ends, I thank mother magic and ask to look out for me. Everybody needs something to believe in and for me who have gotten such a huge opportunity I'll obviously cherish more then others who might take it for granted. Existence of souls is also a big question mark right now. There where many such ideas floating during my last life as well which I obviously shunned just the simple questions like does every living thing has a soul and if everyone does how can birth of a new soul be explained and if it's just old soul getting in with a clear slate sorts of then how can one explain the ever increasing population. Hopefully I'll have some of them answered sometime in the lifetime.

After the school and practising in the dojo I return to the orphanage at this point I'm too physically exhausted to do anything else. So, I just end up reading something in the nearby library or the borrowed books. After eating I just spend the rest of time meditating, I come out to be anti-social but what can you do. I occasionally help out other orphanage children none of them are bullies or anything of that sort most just seem to look for their own selves which is wise in my opinion being alone I guess teaches you that and also to cherish friendships, I guess. Which was a very new experience for me as they would look out for me in their own way which did make some butterflies might have shed a tear or two not that I'm ever going to admit it.

Mind, Body and Soul would be all the things I will concentrate to set my foundations and the true part to become someone strong in my opinion not that I have much knowledge about it but it's a good starting point. For my mind I'm meditating the exercises are for my body before reaching my full potential as a human body I'll look into rituals deep into my studies and last and most importantly the soul I have not much idea about improving or doing anything about it anytime soon I just hope being reincarnated can bring about some benefits in that section.

Everything is set in place now just need to wait for one more year. The 'change'.