The thing
Thursday, May 25th 2006
09h00pm It is really a lot of work a movie because in addition to being a star sometimes 5 hours a day in front of the camera, my lovely Mommy sent a teacher for me.
I don't like her. Miss Mechon is old Madam unpleasant very severe who wants people to call her Miss.
Madam unpleasant is strange. She always dresses like a little girl, on top of that, she looks like the fish Jeff and I catch in the pond at home.
"Do you remember the name of those ugly fish, Mister who stinks? Now that's annoying because if we remembered, we could have changed her name from Madam."
They're kind of flat, white, ugly fish, but what are they called again?
"What? Well done, Mister who stinks."
A carp, that's what. Miss Mechon is an ugly, unpleasant old carp who thinks she's a little girl.
In the last few days, I've realized one thing while staying here:
Movies are magic.
Everything is calculated, timed and even...
"What do you mean, Mister Senile calculates the time I take for my poop breaks? Sometimes I wonder what's going on in your plush head, Mister who stinks."
When I'm in the car with Mel, there's a cameraman behind us, but because it's magical, he never appears in the frame of the other cameras placed in the front.
As for the cameras behind the car, their angle camera never captures the image of the cameraman sitting in the back seat nor even the car before us.
We've been to a lot of cities, pretended to sleep in four hotels and we've been in Arizona for a few days now.
Matt plays a policeman who chase Mel and he usually play his scenes after us but sometimes, just to annoy me, Mister senile changes the schedule and I have to join the Madam carp.
When I think about it, Maï is a little sad because as Mat never plays at the same time as me, she has less time to look at her buttocks in secret.
In fact, except for Mel who play with me, my dialogues with the extras are no more than two lines.
This week, after hearing some of the techs talking, as a joke, I repeated what they were saying but pretended I was making it up.
I approached Mister Senile and even though it was hard not to laugh, I told him:
"Um, from what I understand, this movie is not calculated in takes, it's calculated in miles."
Mister senile is mean because he laughed back at me and told me that my miles in the movie were ending soon.
Fufufu, everyone laughed and Lara looked like an idiot.
Even though I am a big star, the bad tongues say that I often waste the team's time.
They say that I'll have a hard time staying in place or keeping my little mouth shut.
That sometimes I would disappear when the camera turns on and I throw dirt to the other actors...
It would be according to these idiots, serious problems that result in additional costs.
However, this short moments of "hyperactivity of Lara" as Maï says to apologize to all the people who received water bombs, are not so frequent.
Sometimes when I won't stop squirming like a worm, Maï will pick me up and chat with me, and then, as her voice is tiring, I fall asleep and nobody complains anymore, huhuhu.
"Yes Mister who stinks, Maï is a good girl. Can you be a little more malicious or is that your limit of naughtiness?"
I afraid that because of her naughtiness, one day, this teddy bear will cause me big trouble.
Currently, we are in a hotel in Tucson reserved by the production.
"You're right Mister who stinks, but even if this hotel is not very good looking, it's less ugly than a certain Mister I know."
Tonight the team is relaxing because we have for the first time two full days free and for the occasion I have prepared a fun show.
...
11h15pm The scriptwriter, who went to Tucson to follow the progress of the movie, discusses changes that it would be possible to bring to the dialogue with Michael Mann.
In the dining room, the actors, the assistant director sent by CBS and the director of photography, happy with the good progress of the shooting, drink among themselves while remembering various adventures they had on the films sets and evoke in passing, their regrets as for such a role or such a refused work, which could have positively enriched, as much their professional knowledge as their curriculum.
Although all of them are smiling, the features of their faces betray a deep fatigue.
These last days, in addition to working many hours for the needs of the shooting, they also had to change location daily.
This trying rhythm of life, where rest is almost synonymous with luxury, all in this dining room know it very well. Despite this, to their great regret, their bodies do not get used as quickly as their minds to these periodic changes of rhythm.
While everyone is releasing their stress around a glass, a small thing that everyone thought was asleep, starting with Maï, makes silently its appearance.
To the complete silence that had settled when the thing approached, soon many bursts of laughter that quickly spreads in the room.
If everyone is amused, Maï who is in charge of the nasty little goblin, does not laugh at all.
She looks at intensely as if to prove to herself that she does not dream but, (the thing) that carries a teddy bear hung on its back, is well there.
The thing that cut one of its pretty dresses at the top of its thighs, made itself up as (?something?) and with the help of a chair, it has just climbed on the filmmaker's table.
The little thing that hardly succeeded in putting a bra of Maï over its strange outfit, padded it with socks that it didn't bother to correctly hide.
After a little laugh that here everyone knows too well, while wiggling her little buttocks, Lara raises her hand and she starts talking with a big smile on her lips smeared with red.
"The other day I heard some technicians talking about Britney Spears. It was a little complicated to understand everything because they certainly spoke in technician language, but I understood that they liked this singer and her short dresses that show her thighs. So to please the techicians who work hard to make me ever prettier and ever more adorable, here's my gift, huhuhu.
Oh baby, baby
Oh baby, baby
Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know
That something wasn't right here
Oh baby, baby, I shouldn't have let you go
Seeing the little girl with the fake breast twisting her buttocks and waddling on the table while everyone claps and laughs, Maï runs towards her, then grasps her instinctively.
In a state of panic, she doesn't think too hard when she slaps the restless little girl on the buttocks in front of everyone.
Lara had been slapped once by the idiot and once by her mean teacher, but she had never imagined that her elder sister, would administer a big humiliating spanking in front of her work colleagues, who, as true professionals, treat her like a true star heroine.
Vexed more than ever to find herself in a situation in which once again she is powerless, Lara cries, screams and too angry, her nasty mouth utters many nasty words that she does not really mean.
More seriously, while struggling, she even kicks Maï before running away.
Once hidden in a closet in a small adjacent living room, Lara thinks back to what just happened.
She did nothing wrong. Why all this beating and humiliation when she just wanted to have fun? The more she thinks about it, the more Lara feels that this is really unfair.
"Why was Maï so mean with me, mister who stinks? Yes, you are right. She's a jealous girl who can't stand that someone has more breasts than her. What are you saying? Revenge? Yes, I think that she must pay for beating an innocent little girl. This elder sister is no friend of the children, so she deserves to be punished but if I tell Mommy, Maï will be fired and since I still love her very much, I don't want to. Let's do the job ourselves, Mister who stinks. We are the victims of an injustice and to get our lost honor back, this fight will be ours."