A Disease Known As Despair...
Chapter 18 - A Disease Known As Despair...
Emilia was tired
Not physically, she get enough sleep last night and eating healthy food -and delicious too- so there is no reason for her body to exhausted
It was her mind that tired, she exhausted in mental
In last two days when she see Aaron laying in bed, helpless, trapped, hurt, and in pain, very tremendous pain. He literally almost die after all, so close to dead, his body almost like boiling pot! Had she and Rem not there to help him...
'No, no! Don't go there! Don't go there!'
Emilia shook her head, eyes clenched tightly and banish the idea. There's no way she will going there, Aaron won't be gone, he won't die, he is strong, true he not invincible -she not that naïve to believe so- but she knew that IF he goes down it will be kicking and screaming -or something like that according to Rem
He still going to show that he is defiant to the last, still going to show that he is powerful, strong, never give up
And yet he almost die yesterday...
Then to make matter worse this morning when she visit him he awake
That was supposed to be a good thing, a joyful moment, at least after two days in coma and burning himself he finally awake! He was fine! He was back!
Except... Except he did not...
When he woke up, he did not smile at her like always, he did not talk and trying to reassure her with his gentle -and teasing- words, and he did not look at her with the usual caring and tender eyes.
He wake up with scream
Scream that filled with terror, pure terror. Not only that but also... Madness.
He was shrieking and shouting incoherently, yelling with eyes bloody red and filled with utter fear while clawing himself as if there's something that biting and crawling him from inside
They tried to comfort him in instant, they was there. They cast healing spell to him, trying to calm him down but it was useless. Even Beatrice can't do anything. The moment they try to heal him his unique Magic Resistance thrown them away violently, something that never happened until now -they never have problem healing him after all, when they try to calm his fever using magic day ago is proof of that- and it shocked him just how potent that is to be able repel Beatrice
They tried to use sedative but they afraid how his body will react seeing his strange Magic Resistance pretty much nearly killing him yesterday and seeing he keep hurting himself and they don't have any option the left with only one option, using physical way -albeit she and Rem very reluctant to do that. Alas it was meet with same result, they try to knock him out but it not working
Ram's frying pan that broken can testy that. The pink oni hit him in head many times until it bend and broke but it not working. That actually made Emilia realize just how tough Aaron truly is in first place, he is not normal Human after all, his strength and speed is proof of that so his endurance is surely as strong as them
Though he did not immune to piercing but to blunt force Aaron's is clearly far tougher than anything she ever seen. And in the end it take Puck himself who pick a gigantic rock and drop it in his head
Fortunately that work, though it left Beatrice a bit exhausted since she have to teleport them to somewhere to pick the boulder and transport them back to the manor
It has been few hours, now already close to noon and he still not showing any sign he will wake up again...
And perhaps it will be better if he didn't wake up for now...
It not like she don't want him to awake, but she... She not ready to see him behave like that, not ready to see him feral like that, not want to see him in that condition...
She don't want to see him so broken...
"Aaron..." She murmured as she grasp his hand, firmly gripping it, trying to seek any comfort from the unconscious man who now have bandages wrapped around his fingers, injury that he just got due to scratching himself until his nails broke
Just seeing them make Emilia's heart ache
KNOCK! KNOCK!
A knock from the door broke her from her own mind. She briefly turned to the door direction before looking back at Aaron. After a moment of consideration she release her grip from him and walked to the door, opening it, she granted by sight of familiar blue haired girl
"Oh, Rem." She greeted as she come out from the room "What's wrong?" She asked while closing the door behind her
"Rem here to remind Emilia-sama that now is her study time." Rem informed "Puck-sama told Rem to remind Emilia-sama, remember?"
Ah, yes... She remember... She can forget time when she stay with Aaron. Yesterday she was staying on his side until dinner and not even realizing it. Needless to say Puck was not happy and he goes to Rem and Ram to call her when she stay on his side so she not forget her schedule again
"I will be there." The half elf said with sigh "Let me see Aaron again for a moment okay?"
It was useless and wasting time, but seeing him -even if he's unconscious- at least can lift some unseen weight from her shoulder
"Sure, Rem will be waiting."
The silver haired girl nodded before she turned back to the room, opening the door and-
Promptly freeze in where she stand
The blue haired maid who seeing the Royal Candidate stop moving blinked, curiosity growing inside her and she take few steps forward so she can see what causing Emilia to stop like that
And she also freeze when saw what the half elf seen
He was there... But no longer laying in bed... He was up... Sitting in bed, his face blank and emotionless hollow, his hair a bit messy from sleeping for so long. He slowly turn to them and they can see there hollow inside those green eyes, but it only for a moment as a light slowly return to them when he caught sight of them
"Emi... Rem...?"
His voice was dry and raspy, as if he just speak again after very long time
But to Emilia and Rem... His voice right now is the best sound he ever let out until now...
They can feel their eyes become wet, their visions become blur, a strange noise come out from their mouth as they gazed at the man who can be considered to be one of the most precious person in their lives
Aaron who stare at the duo was confused why they displaying such faces. It was when his brain finally done comprehending what happened that his eyes widened and he paled a bit
'Oh shit!'
He don't get any chance to do or said anything before blur of silver and blue crashed to him
'Not this again!'
"He still not responding to us. He's hardly blink."
"They will abandon you."
"Sorry for rushing at you like that, it just I'm... I'm so glad you're finally awake..." She sounded so embarrassed and apologetic as she saying that
"I don't know, it... It almost like his body was here but his mind is somewhere else!"
"You will abandon them."
"It's okay, I kinda get it though." I replied absentmindedly as I rub my chest to sooth the crushing sensation I felt moment ago
"We can't bring him with us! That thing after him right? Then it's better to left him alone!"
"No! I won't abandon him! We can't just leave him here!"
"It's all your fault, your foolishness."
"Ah..." Her face turned to more red as she fidgeting under my stare "Still... It doesn't change the fact that I'm hurting you! I-I mean, you are..."
"You, and everyone else, are pawn of unseen force."
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I don't want to do this... I'm sorry... But it better things end like this rather than HIM caught you. I'm sorry Aaron, I'm so sorry."
"It's fine Emilia..." I replied while waving my hand nonchalantly "Seriously, it's not like I'm going to die from your hug."
There silence appear after I said that, it stretched for almost a minute and I did not try to make any conversation, letting them pull out what they have in their minds first
"... Aaron?"
"Yes?"
"You've been staring at the wall for ten minutes."
I blinked, once, twice. Did I? I tilt my head and meet Emilia face to face "Hm? You're right." I said "I did not realize it." I muttered "It was interesting wall."
"Aaron-sama..." This time it was Rem who spoke, her voice laced with concern "It's normal wall."
"Why yes it is."
"What make it interesting?"
"It's normal."
Another silence stretched into the room. I'm perfectly aware how both of them now looking at each other with concerned faces, they not even try to hide it after all
"Sorry, sorry." I said, trying to make it sincere but in truth I'm not "It just... My head kinda mess right now."
When I... Meet Cthulhu... Seeing his eyes... I feel the World change... It... I don't know... Everything... Everything... It was a mess... Everything... It was unnatural... Not normal... Not right... Not true... A fake... It was... Wrong...
The World is wrong... Everything is wrong... My whole life feels like wrong... My very existence is...
I visibly shudder as I recall the Lovecraft monster giant figure. Great Gods, I never afraid to them, I mean, the reason they only scary for me is because they look too grotesque and ugly but...
But after meeting Cthulhu...
...
I will never be able to see the World in same way again
"Aaron?"
Emilia voice broke me from my mind and I turned at her, her face still confronted to worried expression.
"Yes?" What is it this time?"
"You're trembling..."
...
Do I?
I look down at my hands and found she was right, my hands were shaking, badly. I did not feel it before but now I can, I even feels the sweat that covering them.
I'm not unfamiliar with fear... I'm feeling them every single day the moment I come to this World. Fear of my life. Fear of failure. Fear of changing everything to beyond my knowledge. Fear of losing Emilia because if she died then I'm as good as done. Fear of losing Rem and Ram because if they loss then I don't think I can handle it like Subaru.
But right now... What I feels... What I fear right now...
Make all of my fears look like harmless kitten
"Aaron-sama perhaps it is better if you rest."
I feel Rem's hand on my shoulder, giving me slight nudge to emphasize her point
I did not care about that, rather my eyes focused to her hand... Her left hand... Her left hand that still exist... That still not a stump
"A-Aaron-sama?"
It... It still there... It still connected to her body... It still whole... And she... She's not look sick or pale... She's still healthy... She is...
"A-A-Aaron-sama?!"
"A-Aaron?!"
The high pitch of Emilia and Rem voices finally broke me from my stupor -again- and I blinked, it was at that time I realize I'm holding Rem's hand while my other touching her face
"Ah." I release my grip in instant, pulling back slightly from her "Sorry Rem, I didn't mean to."
"N-No, no, it's fine." Rem brush away my apologize easily, she seems very happy rather than embarrassed despite the redness in her face "Rem don't mind if Aaron-sama want to touch Rem, Aaron-sama can do that anytime he wish."
"Is that so..." I give her small smile of amusement. Normally I will feel embarrassed or sputtering but... I feel my mind right now is not in right condition
"Aaron..." It was Emilia turn to call me "I think you need rest, you looks..."
"... I'm fine Emi, granted my head right now feels strange but..." I cut myself from speaking further as I shook my head "Alright, I'm maybe not alright and need rest but can you two tell me what exactly happened when I'm unconscious?"
They seems reluctant to tell me anything and only want me to rest, however in the end they did nonetheless. They told me what happened, and just like I expect, they told me about how my own Magic Core almost fry me from inside, how I was unconscious straight for two days
It feels strange to hear the same explanation once again, not like it was amiss since when I'm studying I always repeat things to memorize them. What I mean strange is...
It almost like de javu
But I know it is not... I was dead... Yesterday... I was dead... I got killed...
I was dead...
And it's bothering me beyond anything else...
Save for Cthulhu of course for obvious reason...
"But this morning... You wake up and..."
"Wake up?" I asked. Now that was new one "I did? I do not remember such things."
They both become uncomfortable at my question and from there I take it whatever happened when I woke up it was not pleasant for them. However they still tell me nonetheless, albeit it was clear they really don't like it
And boy they was right
Not just them who did not like it, me too
"Screaming?" I asked again, voice filled with bewilderment
"Yes." Rem is the one who answered, Emilia seems having hard time speaking about it "When Aaron-sama awake, Aaron-sama started to scream incoherently and hurting himself, Aaron-sama did that straight for almost an hour and we need to knock you out so you stopping."
Well... That was... That was... How the hell I'm going to say it? Ominous is not enough words to describe that after all, how about adding mega super double on it?
...
Okay, now I'm sure there's something wrong in my head if I thinking like that
Well... That was very obvious, I mean, I just facing Cthulhu moment ago! If there's nothing wrong with my head after that then I have to question my own sanity
"Aaron..." Emilia began, voice filled with hesitation and concern "Do you... Do you remember what happened? Why... Why you..."
God damn! This is clearly escalating too fast! Quick Aaron! Buy some time! Find good alibi! "Can't say I did but..." I trailed off, trying to find a good words and thankfully I found one "I will tell you about it later." I said "After I'm taking bath." I added quickly when Emilia mouth opened to protest "I've been in bed for two days Emi, I want to go to bath now, mainly to *ehem* relieving myself."
Emilie stare at me with blank face for few seconds before she realize what I implying, her face colored slightly and she coughed "R-Right! Bath! Bath! Yes!"
Cute...
"And Rem, I want to eat." I said to the maid "Prepare small feast for me."
"Yes Aaron-sama, Rem shall prepare the best food for Aaron-sama." The maid nodded vigorously
"Good, oh and also, call everyone to gather in dining room okay? I want to explain what the hell actually happened to them as well so I don't have to explain everything twice."
"Yes."
I turned to Emilia who looks unsure, she seems want to say something but hesitate. Seeing this I decide to help her "Is there something you want to say Emi?"
Emilia stare at me, her uncertain face slowly turned to one of slight firm expression "Aaron, I think it will be best if you do not do anything right now." She suggested "I mean, you're injured pretty bad, and your mental condition is..."
"I'm not crazy Emi." I said in dry voice
"That's not what I mean and you know it." She snapped at me with glare. Wow, since when she started to show teeth like this? "Aaron, whatever happened to you clearly also attack your mind as well, even if your body fine now but your head is another thing."
I about to speak I'm fine but I held back those words, if I said that it will make Emilia snap, she maybe not showing it now but I'm sure she really angry and... Worry. She's also worry about me so I can't just brush her like I did before.
Carefully I choose my words and responded "I know you're worry, and I'm also aware that I'm right now not in healthy condition." There, tell her that she's right first then go for the reason "But what I about to explain, I about to inform to you all is really important. Important that even surpassing Witch Cult's attack few days ago."
Both Emilia and Rem stiffened when hearing that, the silver haired half elf narrowed her eyes at me and frowned "Rem and Ram has patrolling the area around the village Aaron and they did not find anything that suspicious."
"Their target is not only you Emi." I said grimly "You are one of their goals, the biggest but they not only after you." I explained "Look, I will explain more later, but at least you realize that this is something that can't be left alone so let me take a bath first okay?"
She's certainly not okay with that, I can see it as clear as day, however she seems willing to accept my proposal for now since clearly no harm done to me from taking bath and eat
"Alright." She nodded in acceptance "I will be waiting then."
"You talk like I'm going to escape or go away." I replied while rolling my eyes "Now off you two, I want to take bath." I said while ushering them and hop off from my bed
Both of them give one last look to me before leave the room together and I waste no time to strip, taking towel and cloth from cabinet then enter the bathroom
Turning on the hot water I allow the warm liquid to wash over me as I close my eyes and take deep breath to-
-it was inhumane, unnatural, illogical. A being that twisted. Creature that wrong in so many levels. It eyes was stationary and blur, the color they possess can't be described with a mortal words. And that abomination staring at him, at his soul, at his very existence and-
I let out loud gasp as my eyes snapped open in instant, my knee feels like without bone as I dropped down to the wet floor, I feel bile rose to my throat and it take everything I have to not empty my stomach right there
I feel my breath become unstable, they come out faster than normal. I feel cold despite there warm water washing over me. I feel terror and unsafe despite there's no one in here save for myself
Gods... Great Gods...
"Cthulhu..."
Even just muttering that name out from my mouth make me shudder and I can't help but hugging myself, like a children terrified from their nightmare
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!
I punch the wall on my side, easily breaking it and making crater and crack in there, my eyes opened wide and I feel my whole body shaking
Don't fucking kidding with me! Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?!
Cthulhu... A MOTHERFUCKING CTHULHU?!
WHAT IN NAME OF NINE HELL JUST HAPPENED BACK THERE?!
It's not Witches, not Demon Beast, but it's Cthulhu! CTHULHU!
ARE YOU JOKING WITH ME?!
WHAT KIND OF TWISTED THING THIS WORLD THROW ME INTO?!
Facing Witch Cult is one thing... Facing an army also won't matter... But Cthulhu?!
How... How I'm going to beat that?!
I'm not fan of Lovecraft, barely know anything about them. But even I know Cthulhu is monster that even surpassing all Arcbishops of Sins and all Witches combined together!
He is Destroyer of the World for God's sake! Even Reinhard van Astrea lose against him! So how in name of all Gods that exist out there I can beat him?!
This... Even if I manage to gather the whole Lugnica... There's still big chance we all going to die...
Unlike everything in Re:Zero or other movies. Cthulhu is not a beast, he is not a monster, he... What he is...
Force of Universe...
He is not something you can fight... He is something you have to survive from...
I let out snort. Yeah, good luck with that. Who the hell ever survive from Cthulhu? Oh, right no one!
...
So... This is it?
This is the end? This is... As far as I can go?
...
It's not like I'm giving up or what, no... What I mean is... This... This is...
This level of impossibility is so absurd... It not like Hakugei that actually can brought down by army. Cthulhu was on whole different level. Even Reinhard van Astrea who is stronger than Saber and pretty much Gilgamesh without ego in Nasuverse is lose against him. Granted I doubt Reinhard can produce attack that capable to wipe out this planet like EA but his invincibility is still something that noteworthy
And this World want me to face that creature?!
It was like trying to push Shirou Emiya before the Grail War against Heracles! And we know just how ridiculous that idea is...
This isn't fight you can win... This is...
Even if I survive from Cthulhu what then? Lugnica is as good as destroyed, I need to move out from this place but to where? The only place that available is Kiraragi but with Lugnica fall, the status quo between the kingdom will change and war will engulf this World...
"Fuck... Just..."
The water that washing over me is warm, enough to creating steam from their temperature but... In my whole life...
I never felt so cold like this...
She was happy that he's waking up, she truly did. She even shed a tears of joy just seeing him wake up and can talk like normal again. He look tired, so tired, but at least he is waking up and no longer in risk of dying or such things!
She already prepare food for him. She pick his favorite, steaks that covered with special butter, roasted chickens with sauce, baked potatoes that seasoned with cheese and garlic. Everything special for him! He is Hero that just saved the village after all and single-handedly brought down the whole faction of Witch Cult with cunning strategy, so it just natural for him to be given feast like this!
So with great joy, she place every foods she cook to the table, big sister, lady Emilia and lady Beatrice already in there. Since they not too hungry she made ice cream for them for a snack and accompanying him to eat
And the reactions of the people about this is various. Lord Puck while not too happy but obviously glad that Aaron finally awake. So do lady Beatrice, despite she trying to hide it but Rem perfectly aware that lady Beatrice happy he finally awake and looks fine.
And her sister...
Well...
Let it be said that Rem is not idiot, very far from it. She knew that there's something happen between her sister and Aaron, something bad, enough to make them act like they are stranger to each other. And she know as well it because what happened in Capital with lord Roswaal
Her big sister loyalty to lord Roswaal is beyond anyone, Rem won't hesitate to admit that. Granted she is also loyal to lord Roswaal and won't hesitate to lay down her life for him but Ram's loyalty surpassing hers
Which is why she's very angry when she told her about Aaron attack to lord Roswaal when they were in Capital. Rem in first place doesn't want to tell her, however she can't hide such thing from her big sister and she also maid of Margrave Roswaal L. Mathers, so she have duty to do and reluctantly she told her sister
And this is the result...
Right now her big sister still angry at him, though it was not as bad as when before the Witch Cult Assault's. Her big sister never make any comment about his condition when they taking care of him together, she only do her duty wordlessly but Rem can see that there's concern in her stoic eyes
And Rem is... Conflicted...
She won't admit it aloud but despite his closeness to lady Emilia, Rem more jealous to her big sister. Her big sister is so close to Aaron, like really close, closer than to her and lady Emilia.
Aaron connected to her, but their connection similar like one he have with lady Emilia, a... Role model... Something like ideal perhaps...
Or lover...
But there is... Something between Aaron and Ram... A bond that both of them share together... It's like they understand each other very well, that is why perhaps they can arguing for half hour without stopping, because they know each other so much they can pick each other weakness and mistake and use it against each other
And she is kind of jealous with that...
She knew it was ugly feeling. She has no right to have such feeling, not after what she did to her big sister, not after how much pain she caused but...
She quickly banish those thought, shaking her head, she focused back to her duty and placing beverages to table
There's nothing will be gained by thinking such things. Right now it is better focus to treat Aaron, he clearly not fine and look pretty beat up despite has been sleeping straight for two days
Hopefully her cooking can cheer him up
There's bad news and good news
The good news, the foods indeed work and cheer him up. Like always, he devour the meats and everything else with gusto. Oh don't get her wrong. He wasn't a messy or fast eater. His manners were perfect. But the thing is, he just not stopping. Fast but also steady, efficient and elegant. And the more he ate, the more he seems getting healthier and look better
The bad news is... When he came and sit on table, he look worse than before, like really worse. Oh he may look cleaner, neater, fresher, but his eyes... His always warm, confident, teasing and yet also strict eyes...
They look so haunted...
His mood is not bad, he clearly enjoy the food he ate and he also look happy but...
His eyes...
'It's wrong...' She feel her heart clenched in tight grip. It's wrong... He not supposed to have those eyes... He... He...
"You eat like buffon as always." Beatrice commented while wrinkling her nose "Betty won't be surprised if you get stomach pain after eating so much food in instant like that, I suppose."
"Thank you for your concern Beatrice-san." Aaron brushed the insult and reply her in gentle voice "But I will be fine, I had worse in past."
"Betty do not worried about you." The little blonde huffed her cheeks "You can go bury yourself in the backyard for all I care, I suppose."
"Harsh as always Beatrice-san." He chuckled in nonchalant manner "By the way, I was thinking that there's something that we maybe can use to make that one better." He said, pointing to the ice cream that Beatrice currently eat
"... Are you trying to bribe Betty?"
"Did it work?" He asked with grin
"Hmph!" Beatrice wrinkled her nose "What a foolish and stupid things." She said "Though, Betty must say, at least there's some good from your revival."
"Thank you Beatrice-san."
"Betty did not complimenting you."
"I know."
The librarian spirit shoot the pseudo Saber glare however the taller blond only smiled charmingly at her, prompting the twin-tail haired girl to huff her cheeks and turned away from him while eating her ice cream
Under normal circumstance Rem will giggle at their conversation. Lady Beatrice worry and happy that Aaron is back but she's having hard time expressing them, he obviously know that and not forcing her to said it aloud but thanking her nonetheless
It was cute, as expected from him
But...
The way his eyes looking to them... To way his eyes looking to his surrounding...
And it seems it not just her who notice there's something wrong with him. Judging by how Puck and lady Emilia glancing at him... It was clear they both also know Aaron right now have mental problem, they probably capable to tell that from his emotion
"Rem, can I get extra rice?" He asked as he raise his plate
"Sure Aaron-sama."
She take the plate before filling them with rice and gave it back to him, who take another slice of meat and resume his eating
"Goodness, that's make it the seventh isn't it?" Puck commented while staring at him "You really know how to eat Aaron."
"I'm sleeping for two days, it mean I have missed twelve meals and eight snacks."
"Twelve meals and eight snacks?" Puck commented in flabbergasted voice "That much in two days?!"
"Aaron, you only eat three meals per day." Emilia said with blink "How they increase to six?"
"Aaron-sama maybe only eat three meals per day but the portion is equal to six." Rem explained "Sometime it equal to eight or nine."
"That much?!" Emilia gawked at the young man
"Why you sounded so surprise?" He asked while tilt his head "We always eat together."
"I know that but..." To know the details like that was still surprising
"Anyway, I think I'm done eating." He said as he place the empty plate and wipe his mouth "Amazing as always Rem."
"Of course you done eating, no more food left." Puck commented while gazing at the empty plates around the table
"You said you have something to said." Emilia said while looking at Aaron directly "Something about Witch Cult target not only me."
"Yes, about that..." He close his eyes and started to rub his forehead "I might as well start from the beginning." He mumbled "It all begin when I kill that arcbishop." He said aloud "I believe I have a guess why I fall unconscious."
"You do?" Emilia asked with interest
"Yes. Apparently that arcbishop trying to possess me and take over my body after I killed him."
"And your body Magic Resistance instantly trying to repel him." Beatrice nodded in understanding "Hmmm, that was make sense, that arcbishop probably the "foreign" substance that invade you, I suppose."
"Highly possible." He said "And as for what happened this morning..." He paused and begin to look uncomfortable but he quickly crush the feeling "Let just say I have a... Vision."
"A vision?" Rem asked, everyone in room also perked at that
"About him, the arcbishop." He answered "A memory of his life perhaps, about the recent event." He paused again, seeming caught in his memory "Their attack was indeed to target Emi, however they were not the one who will assault her. They simply going to burn everything and left her alone with their supposed "tester" or things like that."
"My tester?" Emilia asked
"Well apparently the Witch Cult seems want to use you as "vassal" to resurrect the Witch of Envy or something like that." He explained and everyone in room can feel the atmosphere became tense, the area around Puck seems become colder for some reason "And to see are you worthy or not they decide to fair you against them."
The room's mood become grim and serious, if that is true then clearly this is still not over, very far from it as matter of fact.
"Do you know who is the tester?" Puck asked
"... You won't like it..." Aaron close his eyes and sighed a bit "It is those children."
"Children?" Rem asked, sounding confused
"... Emi, there children close to where I fought the arcbishop." Aaron turned to Emilia with firm look "Where are they now?"
"Eh? They currently in village, still unconscious." Emilia answered, her eyes slowly widened as her brain begin to put the puzzle together "Aaron.. Are you trying to say..."
"... Those children... Is not what they looks like." Aaron answered, his voice blank and hollow "We have to get them out from there, dispose them as fast as possible."
There silence appear in the room the moment those words left his mouth. Slowly, a horrified expression appear on Emilia's face, Rem also share similar feeling, even Ram, Puck and Beatrice look disturbed by the suggestion
"Aaron!" Emilia not even bother to lower her voice as she glared at him "You can't just possibly guess we should kill them just like that!
"Something has been done to them Emi, I don't know the details since the vision is kinda blur but... Let just say when that something emerge out, there won't be any village remain." Aaron replied, voice grim and solemn "What will come out is nothing but a monster Emi."
"But we still can't do such thing like that! Aaron they're only a children!"
"..." Aaron only looking at the half elf with blank face for a moment "Tell me Beatrice-san, Puck-dono, what have you two find from analyzing those children?" He asked while looking at Puck and Beatrice
"I found nothing much." Puck answered with shrug "Other than there's something that prevent them from waking up but I can't found the details." He glanced at Beatrice "Betty probably find more about it than me."
"Of course Betty did." Beatrice nodded with smug expression before it returned to her stoic face "Betty found something that prevent them from waking up." Her face now turned to scowl "Though it's not much, Betty doesn't know what it is but it acted almost like a Curse, it's need a trigger to active."
Trigger to active? Like a Curse? The pseudo Saber eyes narrowed sharply at that. That mean they did not transform randomly, there's someone in the village, someone that make the children turned to those monster at that time
"But at same time it not a Curse it... Something new." Beatrice frown deepened "Betty already started research but has yet to find something about it, I suppose." She seems very frustrated when saying that
"I see..." Of course she won't find anything. They all transformed into some kind of eldritch monster! One that so alien to the point it making his existence like a joke "Do you know how to remove them?"
"Unfortunately no." Beatrice said "Betty can't remove it, it was too... Strange for Betty, too unfamiliar."
"... Then there's no cure for them?" He asked, no, it's more like statement than question. The silence that given to him by the spirit is enough to answer him and he turned to Emilia "Is that enough reason for you?"
The half elf flinched under his stare and question, her face look like she has been slapped in the face
"Oi Aaron." Puck called, he looked nonchalant as usual but there small sharpness in his voice "I don't know why you're so wreck but don't you think it kinda unfair to take it to Lia?"
The blond slowly turned to the cat spirit, his green eyes narrowed slightly as if challenging him, however it only for moment before they closed and Aaron take one deep breath
"My apologize." He breathed out "My mind right now is not in right condition." He said to Emilia who looking at him with concern "Do you have some idea how we dealing with this situation?"
And with that question all attention shifted to Emilia who blinked before she look around, noticing everyone look at her expectantly and it make her slight nervous
'Idea huh...'
The half elf rub her cheek nervously before steeling herself, her mind quickly trying to find solution for this situation, other than killing those children of course. She's still troubled and really shocked that Aaron suggest such thing and she will talk to him about that after this but for now...
"Beatrice said..." She gulped before take breath to sooth her nervousness "Beatrice said what affecting those children is like a Curse and need trigger to active. So all we need to do is capture or kill the caster."
"Reasonable and acceptable solution." Aaron said while nodding in approval "But where's the caster and how we find them?"
"That's..." Emilia quickly racked her brain once again, trying to find the answer, Aaron's demanding gaze also not helping as it make her panic a bit for a moment "Umm.. We... We can..." She paused and become unsure what to say, Aaron only stare at her patiently, waiting for her answer and... "We can use Ram." She blurted
There silence appear in the room after that declaration. Everyone -sans Emilia- slowly turned to the pink haired oni who appear unfazed and looking back at them. Then they slowly turned back to Emiilia who fidgeting in her seat, and inwardly berate herself, what was she thinking? Blurting random things like that, great, just-
"That... Could work." Aaron said after moment of silence, his eyes momentarily drifted back to Ram before returned to Emilia
'It could?' Emilia blinked in surprise
"Indeed it could." Puck commented with approving voice "Ram is specialize in Wind magic and she also have Divine Protection, she can easily track someone down if she want to." He turned to Emilia with praising look "Good idea, as expected from you Lia."
'No, that was pure coincidence.' Beatrice, Ram and Rem thought simultaneously with dull face
"Indeed, that was good suggestion." Aaron agreed "But at same time it not solve our problem." He said with sigh "We can't have Ram go out by herself just like that and neither we can let her stay in the village, the caster can active the Curse from far away if they wish to." He explained "Beside, these two days while I unconscious Ram and Rem already patrolling around the village but found nothing strange right? Despite that was good things but what if the caster smart enough to hide their Witch's scent by hiding among people or things like that?"
That... Was a good point. Aaron is right, there's chance such thing happened. Emilia feel her stomach twisted, she can't find valid argument to respond that one. She stared at Aaron, trying to find any clue just what happened to him or what was in his mind, but she can't find any, the blond only stare at him with blank face and it hurt her more to see him like this
Something is clearly wrong... Aaron... Aaron would never...
"I suppose..." Aaron break the ice with small sigh "For your first argument you did good Emi." He said in slight praising manner, small smile crossed to his face "Next time though, don't think you've won so quick, rather use that time to think more about your words before speak them aloud."
The half elf gaped at the blond, shocked by the sudden change of his demeanor. Her mind began to comprehend what just happened before she feel her right eye twitch "You... You did this on purpose!" She accused
"Did I?" Aaron asked innocently
"Aaron!"
The Holy Sword wielder let out small laugh at the sight of the half elf pouting face, this make her glare to him with intensity, albeit it only serve to amuse him further judging by his laugh that getting louder
"Stop laughing!" Emilia whined with red face "Aaron you're bobolyne!"
That make the young blond stop laughing and blinked "What's the meaning of that?" He asked
"It mean dull head Aaron-sama." Rem supplied "It's old language."
"I see." He nodded "Insult using old language, as expected from girl that look like old hag."
"What?!" Emilia squawked indignantly "I'm not old!"
"Really? You talk like one sometime Emi, and clumsy like one too."
"I'm not!"
"Really?"
The half elf glared at him but the young man only smiled like gentleman to her. She huffed her cheeks and turned away from him with "hmph!"
This man! He is really able to become annoying when he want to
"Anyway, I'm going to visit the village soon." Aaron said, changing the topic "I want to see how everyone, I'm sure they worried seeing me unconscious like that so..."
"Are you sure Aaron?" Emilia asked in concern "I mean, you just recover and..."
"I already ate this much." He gestured to the empty plates around him "If I can then it clearly I'm already fine enough." He chuckled "I will go in next hour, does anyone want to come with me?"
"Rem will come with you." Rem said instantly "Rem have to buy new stocks for our foods."
"Ah... Did I just empty the last one?" Aaron asked, he sounded sheepish and slight guilty
"No, we still have a lot but Rem thought that it might be better to buy now since Aaron-sama finally awake." The maid replied "And Rem also will be there in case something happen to Aaron-sama."
The blond have feeling the real reason for her to go to the village is actually the second rather than the first "Suit yourself, we will go in next half hour." He turned to everyone "Well, I guess that's all I want to say, other than that I also want to say thank you." He smiled in here to everyone, genuine and warm "Thank you for taking care of me in last few days."
"Well I can't just let you to die right? Lia will be sad."
"And if that girl sad the Puckie will be sad as well, and Betty doesn't want him to sad."
"You're my friend Aaron, of course I will help you, no need to thanks me."
"Indeed, and as maid, it is Rem duty to to treat Aaron-sama who is honored guest in here."
They replied the grateful words with various expression, from uncaring and happy. The blond give them smile once again but it was then he notice one person still not respond to his word and he turned to her
"..." She stare back at him with stoic face and she seems don't want to say anything but she did nonetheless "Like Rem said, as a maid it is Ram duty to treat Aaron-sama back to his health." She said stoically while bowing to him
Aaron facial feature twitch once, a hurtful look crossed in his eyes but it's gone as soon as it appear and he give nod to her "Yes..." He take one deep breath before slowly stand "Well, I guess that's all I want to say, Rem, we will meet in entrance later okay?"
"Yes Aaron-sama."
With that everyone begin to leave, Ram and Rem gone back to resume their duty, Beatrice to her library while carrying bowl of ice cream, Aaron goes back to his room or somewhere else and Emilia...
Emilia stare at Aaron's back and leaving figure with conflicted feeling. She's angry at him, angry that he seems so... Dismissing about his own health just like that, and she want to yell at him but... He looks fine and healthy like usual, granted he also look tired and very troubled but..
Emilia can't help but feel the weight in her heart and shoulder lightened slightly at their short banter. Despite there's annoyance in there but it relieve her that Aaron seems fine
...
...
'He's fine right Puck?' She asked to the cat spirit worriedly
"No, he's not. Lia, right now Aaron is as unstable as suicidal. I can't get much from him because he is too wreck to be sense." Puck answered
Hearing that make the weight that just loss return with fervor
"And also, he's not joking about killing those children Lia." Puck added "He's really going to kill them if there's chance."
That did nothing but imbue her worry further as she hold her chest and stare at where the blond moment ago
'Aaron...'
'I'm back just after my battle with Petelgeuse... Great...'
Now he's already stop moping and feel better, he can think more clean and he found that his current situation to be very troubling. He was expecting to return before facing Petelgeuse or at least when he just return back to manor after his scouting
But he return to less than twenty four hours before he facing that... That monster
"It's around twelve in noon, and the assault begin around four in morning. I have only about fifteen hours!'
He really want to let out sad laugh. That menace himself already creature beyond his league and now this World give him that short amount of time to deal with that thing?!
He's going to die again isn't he?
There's nothing he can do to prevent or stop this. Return by Death was shit compared to this. Even if he return from death but what is the point if he returned to one second before axe buried to his neck?
The major weakness of Return by Death, you can't decide where you will return, it was random, just like what happened to him now
'I should escape from here.'
Run away from this kingdom, this land, that was the best, no. That was the only option he have if he want to survive and goes back to his home. Abandon Lugnica, try to search how to go home in other kingdom, this place is as good as dead after all
...
...
...
Alright, the option is clear, run away from this kingdom. Cthulhu is not something that he can beat after all so the choice is obvious. Now things is how to get out from here?
Briefly his mind wander to Emilia, Rem, Ram, Beatrice and everyone he knew in this land. If he escape what going to happen to them? Is that mean he going to leave them to die? That idea was enough to make him feel sick, they are his friends, to abandon them like that...
And yet... Is it matter?
He going to do that anyway in the end, he's going to leave and go back to his World after everything done... So what is matter if he fastened the pace?
...
But it different isn't it?
When he's going to leave them he will do that when they were ready, when they already able to stand on their own feet, when their sight to the World has opened wholly
It was safe to say that despite how cheerful and normal they behave but Emilia, Ram and Rem is mentally damaged, each of them have their own scar inside their heads.
Emilia who's having very low self-esteem like Rem, having her real memory blocked and in reality is having mindset of girl that barely out from her pubescent age. Ram and Rem whose existence solely depending on each other and only view the World with narrow, only from two direction, their front and back, and that's even still depend to each other sight just like how Subaru describe
They all damaged people, none of them is normal in a sense despite how civilized and normal they looks like
As matter of fact he dare to say that he is the most stable person in this residence, Roswaal and Beatrice themselves also damaged in their own way. And while he doesn't give a shit to that clown but he do care to Beatrice
Of course he knew that he shouldn't hesitate to abandon them when things come up, he can't afford to turn his back to his goal, no, that will never happen in his life no matter what
But the idea of leaving them right now is still uncomfortable...
'Calm down Aaron, think about it later, right now you better get ready.'
He will go to the village soon with Rem. In his last... Life, he did not go to there. As matter of fact before things went down Aaron only spend his times in mansion, he chat with Emilia and Rem, trying to relax because clearly he deserve that right? He mean he just survive from facing one of men that led the most craziest group in this World and get himself burned from inside so...
But apparently it still not enough... The Universe still not like him and decide to throw biggest "fuck you" to him in form of Cthulhu
...
...
Then again, it's might be his fault in first place... He should expect things like this in very first place. Subaru went through Hakugei and Petelgeuse at the same day so it shouldn't surprise him like that. He shouldn't rest in first place, not yet, he knew the danger but he...
'Might as well start from the first thing, to the village then and-'
KNOCK! KNOCK!
He paused his thought when there's knock from his door, the blond briefly glanced at the clock and find he still have fifteen minutes before meeting Rem and goes to the village together
"Who could it be..." He wondered "Yes, wait a moment." He said aloud as he walking to the door, opening it "Emi?" He blinked in slight surprise as he found the half elf standing in front of his room
"Aaron..."
Inwardly he narrowed his eyes at the tone she use, she sounded very concerned, her expression also say same thing. He briefly glanced to the corridor and find no one save for them, slowly he open the door wider
"Come in." He said as he step aside while gesturing her to enter. The silver haired half elf nodded and enter the room, Aaron close the door and turned to her who now sitting in bed "So Emi, what do you want to talk about?"
There's no need any pleasantries, he not in mood and he doubt Emilia too judging by her expression, and he also have feeling that she also share similar sentiment
"Aaron." She called "Sit with me."
The blond tilt his head "I prefer stand."
"Sit." She ordered, her gaze firm and and her voice strict "We need to talk."
He quirked his eyebrow, small mischievous grin crossed to his face "My so demanding, do you want me to kneel over your feet and abide to all your command, Mistress?" He asked with teasing voice
The half elf in response only blinked "Huh? No, I only want you to sit here." She answered while tapping her side
The pseudo Saber stare at her for few seconds before he palm his face and sighing. Of course she will miss that kind of joke, despite her... Well endowed body and beautiful appearance but her mentality is as good as child
'Mentally retarded and in few cases.' He thought as he sit on her side "Alright I'm sitting right now." He stated while looking at her in nonchalant manner "What do you want to talk about?"
"..." She stare at him with look that express nothing but worry, then she slowly take his hand and grasp it "Aaron, are you really okay?"
The blond glanced down at their locked hands before shift his gaze back to the half elf "... Lying would be stupid, Puck can sense my mind isn't he?" He asked back rhetorically "Well, I can't say I'm fine, having that..." He paused and shuddered visibly "But at least I can deal with it..."
"No, you're not." She replied, voice become firm once again "Aaron, even without Puck I can tell that you clearly not okay." She grip the hand a bit tighter as a gesture of reassurance "I don't know the details of what happened, but you can't push yourself like this Aaron."
He have to hold back snort after hearing that. Can't push himself? What's he currently facing is creature that can swallow this land like a breakfast for God's sake!
He's not pushing himself, not at all, as matter of fact he actually didn't know what he should do in first place
"It's not good for your health, Aaron, you're being too hard, maybe you should rest today."
He did not response to her, for moment he only stare at her directly in eyes before he slowly remove his hand from her "... This is about those children isn't it?" Her flinch was enough to answer his question "Puck must be telling you that I'm serious about killing them." He ruffled his hair while sighing
While he's still unsure what he should do but things he have to do is to make sure there's nothing going to threatening the village. He might be going to run away but he won't left them to such horrible fate, no. He going to dispose those... Those parasites. No matter what steps he going to take -be it escape from here or other- he have to make sure those children did not infect the villager and turn them into those abomination
"Are you?" She asked, voice hesitate and uncertain
"Yes." He answered bluntly, knowing there's no point in lying "I'm serious about killing them."
Such declaration should bother him, he's talking about people life, moreover a children life actually, children who probably not older or only older few years from his little sister
But it do not... He's not feeling anything, not even slight of remorse, bitterness, or sadness exist in his heart when he thought about it... As matter of fact... The thought of their demise actually make him feels...
-he stare at her, tears fall and washing over his face, sobs escape from his throat as he cradling the girl's dead body that disfigured and barely recognizable, he embrace her to seek any warm, any comfort that remain from her as he wail to the dark sky above him-
-he screamed as he feels his sanity robbed, as he feels his mind probed and dismembered, he feels his very existence begin to peeled one by one, as if he's some kind of insects that dissected to be studied. All while those kaleidoscope orbs looking at him with dark and horrifying satisfaction-
Quite satisfied...
"Don't look at me like that Emi." He said when notice the terrified expression she have "I'm willing to kill them, yes but I have no intention to go to the village and kill them in spot." He stated
That was honest statement, he can't just do such thing, it will make the village goes in confusion and cause commotion as well, something that absolutely unnecessary
But that doesn't mean he won't though... And he have no intention to tell that to Emilia
"Is that what you want to hear Emi?" He asked while quirking his eyebrow "If yes then I have to go now, Rem probably already waiting for me."
"No." Emilia hand instantly grab his, preventing him from stand "Aaron! Please stop!"
"Stop? Stop what?"
"Stop behave like everything is fine!" She yelled at him
"!?" The pseudo Saber recoiled, eyes wide, not expecting the half elf to yell at him suddenly like that
"Aaron, please..." She grasped her hand with hers, raising it and bring herself close to him "Please stop. I... I can tell you're hurt. I can tell that you're confused. I can tell you're not fine so please..." Her voice low and he can hear it, the plea that reside in there "Please stop pushing yourself."
He feel his body trembling, his fist that clenched shaking more than the other, his face that look calm and nonchalant started to crack "Then what do you suggest I should do?" He asked, voice blank and cold "Curling to my knee and trembling in corner of the room?"
He already did that, this morning he cry and trembling like a helpless child but it did not do anything save for make him like a pathetic, dull-witted fool, and he's really hate to feels like that
"You can tell me." She said softly, violet eyes locked to his green "I'm your friend, you're not alone, you can tell me, I will help you."
Her face show nothing but comfort, warmth, reassurance, and caring, face that promising relieve of pain
But in his eyes, he see nothing but a girl that shaking and trembling in fear when they were on their way to the Capital
And it make him realize that... The girl in front of him right now is just as broken as him right now... She just doesn't know it...
And what is the point to ask help from someone like that?
...
Is this how Subaru felt? Is this what he felt when he trying, struggling, and keep pushing through many death but no one, no one but him know that...
That... The burden that rested in his shoulder... Is as heavy as the World...
"I have nothing to say." He replied stoically while closing his eyes so he can't see the hurtful look in her face. Slowly he remove his hand from hers and stand "I have to go to the village." He stated as he started to walk away
He feel her hand once again snaked to his wrist, grabbing it and preventing him from walking further
"Let go Emi." He ordered
She shook her head and force him to look back at her "Aaron please! Stop! Just stop! Why you doing this?!" She asked in desperation "I don't know what you have in your mind but you're not thinking clear, you're afraid now, I-"
"Afraid?" His voice become cold like a ice, his gaze turned to sharp like a sword "How do you know I'm afraid in first place? What make you think I'm afraid?" He do... He is afraid, downright to terrified as matter of fact but he refuse to show it, he feels part of him refuse to show such... Emotion to taint his mind
"I... I..."
"It's Puck isn't it? You use him to sense my emotion." He stated, his green eyes narrowed and they momentarily glowing with power, anger start to grow inside him "You spy on my emotion."
"No!" Emilia denied, feeling horrified at the way he phrasing it "I... I... I did not mean like that! Yes I ask Puck but..."
"What right you have?" His voice turned to slight growl, snarl crossing his face. He see her eyes widened, he see fear slowly enter her face "What right you have to invade my privacy like that?!"
"I... I..."
He did not surprised that Emilia do such thing, he already expect it, as matter of fact he sure Emilia did that when they meet for the first time so he not surprised that she sense his emotion like that.
But... But it surprise him that... That he feel so angry at her like this... He feels... So angry... He don't know why, and logic actually say he shouldn't angry, Emilia is not wrong in here, had he placed in her position he would do the same
So why... Why he's so... Angry that she expose him like this?
He yank his arm from her, he control his emotion easily, turning the angry face to cold and stony, he stare at her who took unconscious step back
"We're done here." He declared icily "Talk to me again later, I have to go to the village now."
"No, no!" Emilia yelled and take step forward, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears "We're not done! Aaron! I... I did not mean to do that! I... I just trying to help you, I..." This... This is not what she wish to happen, she did not come here to...
"And while I appreciate your help but I don't need it." Lie... Lie.. He need it... He need all help he can get but... "I can handle it perfectly fine, you meanwhile-"
"NO YOU CAN'T!" She shouted at his face, her hands gripping the collar of his coat and tears rolled from her eyes "YOU ALMOST DIE AARON! YOU ALMOST DIE!" She cried, her scream was mixed with choked sobs "Don't you realize it?! You almost die last night and this morning... By Spirit Aaron this morning you... You screaming like..."
Her words went unfinished as she bury her face to his chest, her body trembling and shaking, muffled sobs escape from her throat as she cry on his shirt, like a children that terrified
He almost die...
That was wrong... That was very, very wrong... He was not almost die... He truly die... He die few hours ago... And it was not painless or quite, it was... It was...
-he stare at the blackened grounds that sputtering lava and fire beneath his feet, his eyes scanning every single inches of the destroyed land. He raise his head, to get better view. There's place that still untouched, houses that remain despite already fall, flags that still touched by the air. And he grinned at the sight, knowing that there is still more to destroy. His grin turned to a leer of mockery as he open his mouth and burn the World-
Hell...
Never once he thought that he died truthfully... All that crossed in his mind is the terror, horror and torture that the Sleeper gave to him. He did not feels like dying actually, rather it almost like he was tortured and tormented endlessly, he feels like he was trapped in Hell and...
-scream... So many screams... Women, children, men, old... All of them screaming and shrieking. Terror and horror is the only expression that adorning their faces, even the bravest one shaking and trembling. He allow himself to laugh in guttural manner at the delicious sight before him. Then he open his mouth and let out deadly breath that turn all those screams into nothing but ash-
Dead... Dead seems so sweet and kind compared to...
"I... I'm sorry Aaron... I... I... I'm sorry... I never mean to..."
Her sobs and choked voice brought him out from his stupor. Looking down, he realize that the half elf now already wrap him in hug and he, himself also return it with his own, and he also notice that hid hands were trembling, badly.
"It's okay."
No... It is not... It never is... It is never okay ever since he awoke after his fight against Petelgeuse, when he wake up and realize just how close he is to die, everything is not okay but...
What else he can say?
"Emi..." His voice no longer hard or like a growl but it's not soft either, it just... Plain. "Emi..." He did grab her chin softly though, tilting her head upward so he can look directly to her eyes "It's okay, I'm no longer mad at you so stop crying, Gods look at your face, puffy and red like this." He murmured as he wipe the tears with his hand and caress her wet face gently "Look, what you did... It is wrong but also not, it is necessary and I understand your situation, trust me, I would do the same thing if I were in your position."
"R-Really?"
What was she? A five years old brat? "Yes." He sighed as he grip her shoulder and push her a bit "Sometime we have to do the wrong thing to get the result that good for everyone, just like what you did."
She flinched at that "Aaron, I never intent to... Do that." She muttered
"I know, I know, hey don't look so gloomy I know." He pinch the bridge of his nose "I will be honest Emi, under any normal circumstance I won't be angry at you but..." He did not need to finish his words, he knew that she aware what he's trying to say "We will talk again later okay? For now, let's think about each other and what we going to say next time we talk, I..." He paused, hesitate to utter the words that he intent to say but nonetheless he push himself "I don't want we fight like that again..." He murmured
She is his friend and he knew she is not completely in fault, he don't want to fight for such petty things, he knew it was his emotion that control him moment ago and he can't let such thing happen, it's going to undo all hard work he have
Ram alone already enough, not need to add Emilia to that list
"Okay..." She murmured back as she rested her face to his chest again, seeming bask in his presence, as if he will be gone any moment "I'm sorry." She apologized again
"... I'm sorry too." He said with sigh as he pat the girl in the back comfortingly "Anyway, I have to go now, I want to see how Ken, Luka, Petra and the other." He told her as he push her gently "And no, I'm not going to kill those children right away." Later of course, he will see what he can gain from them first before chop their heads "I just want to visit the village."
"I know." She smiled kindly at him while wiping her eyes "You're not that kind of person after all."
That almost like a knife plunged to his chest directly. If only she knew just how damn much he want to chop those children heads
And on another note Aaron notice how he and Emilia now practically cradling each other, with her hand wrapping to his waist while the other wrapping around his stomach. He, himself has his hand on her waist while the other on her shoulder
And her smell... Emilia clearly smell goods, he don't know what she use -probably some kind of herbs and plants- for her perfume but damn, this girl really know how to present herself
Or rather, Puck know how to present someone
He quickly -and carefully to not give her the wrong idea- untangle himself from her, not wanting to raise any awkward moment he cough aloud to avert her attention
"I will see you later then?"
"Yeah, sure."
The smile she shoot at him was beatific, warm, and angelic even
But it did not reassure his heart, rather it only give him more pain as he did not see her smiling, rather she look at him with hurtful shocked face as she saw him abandon everything they have and run away
He try to keep uncaring and stoic... But the way his fists and shoulders trembling... He know that was completely useless...
Just like himself right now... Useless
"Aaron-sama you're okay?"
Despite knowing the answer she still ask it because she knew he want to hear that, she knew he want to know that someone care about him
"For the sixth time I'm fine Rem." He answered, his voice now finally laced with slight annoyance and exasperation
But she can tell there's hint of gratitude in there, and his mood now become better than before, even if it only small but it doesn't matter
Rem glad that she able to help him
"Why you keep asking that? Seriously."
"Well, Aaron-sama look so sullen, even if Aaron-sama try to hide it." She answered with smile "And we can't have that now can we? What Petra-chan, Luka-kun and everyone would say when they see their Hero finally awake but looks better when he's asleep?"
His lips curled down to slight scowl and his shoulders sagged a bit "Do I look that bad?" He asked
"Aaron-sama look handsome like always." She answered instantly and she granted by slight pink hue marking his cute face "It just, Aaron-sama seems too... Rigid."
"Too... Rigid?"
"Yes, though Rem doubt other will notice but giving enough time they will."
A lie actually, Aaron is very good covering his emotion, even she barely able to tell his state. The only reason she able to is because she has seen the real Aaron, the one who vulnerable and open, she was there and she never forget them. Had she not she also won't be able to tell that something is not right with him
And even so, many times it was hard to read him, right now she only can tell he is not fine is because perhaps he did not try to hide it, at least not completely masking it. If he did then... She won't be able to tell as well...
She lie to him like this so he can started to carry himself better, to make himself feels better, she don't want to see him like this after all
"Well, then I guess I should stop moping and think forward huh?" He asked himself before he visibly blanched "I'm not looking forward to it."
And just like that, she knew something is obviously wrong -things was wrong before but this, this is on another level- and she found her heart aching with invisible pain for a moment
Wasn't it him who told her to look at the future? To open her eyes and look forward instead trap herself in her dark past
But... But here... Here he's now... Telling her that he... Doesn't want to look forward to the future...
Someone as strong, as amazing, and as wonderful like him... Pulling back his words like that...
Whatever that broke him... Whatever that... Hurt him... Is worse than she thought...
"Aaron-sama..."
What should she say in here? What should she do to make him feels better? She... She doesn't know... She doesn't know...
But...
As he turned to her with nonchalant face but eyes that look haunted and tired, she only can offer one thing
Smile
"Rem believe in Aaron-sama, no matter what."
But she know, that one way or another, he will bounce back... That he will find a way... No matter what... Aaron Pendragon is not someone who will go down with a whimper after all, she had seen that personally, if he goes down, it will be with screaming and kicking
He won't give up... He will try to find a way no matter what...
She believe in that
"I..." His face confronted to conflicted expression, mixture of guilt, hurt, and sad, but there's also glad, joy and happiness. In the end what surfaced is a smile, empty and fake but... The way his eyes shone for a moment, it show her that he truly appreciate what she just say "Thank you Rem."
"Your welcome Aaron-sama." She said, replying his empty smile with real one
She will stood at his side no matter what, and she will believe in him, for he is someone that has open her eyes to the World, someone that has created new path for her to walk
They both continue their journey in silence after that. They already can see the entrance of the village from this distance, they would reach the place soon
"Aaron-niisama you're awake!"
The blond allow small smile to cross his face "Well I'm standing in front of you now am I?"
The boy give him big and wide grin "That's cool! I know you will be fine! You're just sleeping after all! And now you already return to kicking ass!"
Before he can respond to him the boy got his head smacked from behind by his friend "Language! And you shouldn't say such thing to Aaron-sama, he just recover after all." Petra said before she turned to the man "You're okay right Aaron-sama? Are you still tired?"
It take everything he have to not hug the girl while crying when he saw her alive and well but he manage to hold back his emotion to out from his control, manage to prevent himself from cradling the girl
He smiled at her charmingly, patting the girl that sitting closely on his side with gentle "I'm fine Petra, thank you for asking."
He utterly fail to try not getting close so he can keep an eye on her though
The reddish brown haired girl blushed under his touch and she visibly preening at his words "You're welcome Aaron-sama." She murmured in dreamy and shy voice
Normally he will be bothered by the way Petra act, she is twelve after all and he is eighteen, the difference age was quite big and having someone that young crushing on him is a bit... Awkward
However right now such thing did not crossed to his mind, not at all, even if Petra right now practically snuggling on him he didn't bothered at all. He is just happy and glad to see her alive and well, to smile and still talking
He will never forget her disfigured and half-melted corpse for his whole life
"And Luka, Petra is right as well about your language." He lectured the boy who rubbing his head "It is considered not polite and proper to use crass words like that."
"But Ken and the other adult using it too!" Luka whined
"Well yes they did, and I won't say you can't use them, you can but do that in right place and right time." He said "Like when not in presence of a women or lady." He pat Petra again who looks like in her sweetest dream "They consider them to be rude and unattractive."
"I don't care about silly girls." Luka replied in uncaring way
"Well Emi surely will."
That got the boy attention judging by how he froze as if he just got encased by ice from bottom to top
"Emilia-sama will never like you." Petra let out unlady snort "Seriously Luka, your dream chasing him is as naught as monkey trying to touch the moon."
'Wow... Talk about harsh... And what make it sad is that was absolutely true.' Aaron thought with grimace inwardly
"S-Shut up!" Luka shouted indignantly, face red "How about you?! You-"
Before he can say anything else Petra leaped from him and tackled the boy, clasping his mouth and prevent him from talking, her face become redder than before
"B-Be quite!" She hissed to him, glaring to his eyes directly "We agree to nnever talk about it when one of us in front one of them!"
"You just did said about mine!"
"You're very obvious, everyone save for her already know about it!"
'They do realize that I'm here right?' He asked to none with slight amusement as he stare at both of them who look about to throttle each other. Seriously it almost like watching opera
That amusement died when he remember what about to happen tomorrow and he feel his smile slipped down as dread started to gnawing inside him
Gods he tried... It's not like he want to keep depressed or things like that. He tried, he really did but... It just... No matter how he tried to forget or banish those horrible memory away he can't, it always there, lingering in the back of his mind, haunting him every time he try to look pass through it
Knowing his thought start to descend to not good place once again he quickly distract himself -again- and start to think about everything this far
Those children...
They were in one of house that unused, resting and treated in there, still unconscious and sleep in peaceful manner, oblivious to the terror that they will bring to this village
He was so tempted to kill the children, oh the temptation was so strong. He's sure if he see them directly he would draw Excalibur and murder them right where they sleeping, thankfully he still not seeing them since he knew that would happen
When he arrive in this village his first priority is to ask about those children, then after that he goes looking for Petra and the other, wanting to see them once again just to make sure they were there. And while he doing that Rem goes to buy food and drink supply
'Might as well start from now.' He thought as he clear his throat, making Petra and Luka cease their banter "Luka, Petra, if I may ask, is there something happened around here?" He asked "I mean, some unusual activity like a... Fight or things like that." He elaborated when noticing the confused look he get
"Well, nothing strange happen Aaron-niisama." Luka answered "Things is pretty much boring like usual."
"Is that so..."
"Oh there is something Aaron-sama." Petra said "This morning there's pair of merchant coming to the village, bringing supply from Capital."
That instantly got his attention "A merchant?"
"Yes."
"Ah!" Luka bopped his fist to his palm "The sick-looking Onee-san and Onii-san."
"The sick-looking?" He blinked
"Yeah, both of them look so pale, like they about to fell over anytime." Luka explained while placing both hands on back of his head "Though the Onee-san seems very cheerful despite she looks more ill while the Onii-san who look more healthy seems always tired."
"Is that so..." Merchant huh? He feels like he forgetting something important... Something that he miss... "Other than bringing supply from Capital what else-"
"Come on! Come on! Come and buy it! Buy three flowers and you free to pick one! Buy six Appas and you free to get one!"
A voice cut him from continue to ask, it make him pause because the voice was strangely very familiar. He slowly turned around and granted by sight he never expected
She no longer wearing dark and red frilly dress, they were replaced by sleeveless by a dark red sundress that topped by green cardigan, she also wearing straw hat while carrying a basket that hold her product
It as if she aware that someone looking at her as she slowly turn to him, and she blink her blue eyes when caught sight of him, same thing also occur to him as he hardly believe what he just see
"Aaron-san is that you?!" She called from afar and begin to approach him
He blinked again to make sure his eyes get him right. Sick-looking Onee-san... Well, giving her appearance he can't blame Luka to call her that, she did look like going to collapse anytime after all
"Hello Tear-san."