8 Chapter 8: How I Choose To Play My Cards

Subaru had reacquired his adventurer's card and was thinking of his next set of actions.

'I regret beating Rudy! If I had just let that play out the same I could have had an inn to stay at for tonight but now his party thinks I'm a cheat!

…Which then again isn't necessarily wrong…'

Subaru leaned back and tried clearing his thoughts to just relax for a bit. After about a minute of him doing nothing but breathing he decided what to do next.

'I'm going to go and investigate the field where that undead mob appeared. Maybe I can stop it before it happens…'

He left the adventurer's guild building and went to the same spot he was killed at before. Memories from the encounter surged through his head but he quickly got rid of them.

"This is the spot. I remember hearing bones underground before so maybe…"

He put his ear down to the ground and listened as carefully as he could. After looking like an idiot for nearly five minutes he stood back up and scratched his head.

"There's nothing…"

He looked around the surrounding area to see if anything of note was around. He didn't see anything and began thinking of his next course of actions.

"If I wait till tomorrow I can regroup with Aqua, Kazuma and Megumin…But if that undead attack will happen tomorrow no matter what I would prefer if we took on a different quest that doesn't require us to be in the field…Maybe a dungeon quest? No no, we're too low leveled for anything like that…"

Subaru tried to create a plan so he wouldn't die alongside the people who were once in his party but couldn't think of anything reasonable.

"If the undead attack happens no matter what that means their target is probably the town…Meaning we need to warn everyone inside…Before I do that I'd like to gather more info so I don't look like a lunatic…I'd also like to not die myself which is definitely a top priority."

He walked back to the town and looked at the jobs posted on the board. All of the available jobs that he would be allowed to take would put him into the danger zone so he tried looking for another angle.

He took a seat at one of the tables and tried to gather his thoughts once again.

'I suppose I can wait until tomorrow and see what happens…I don't know much about this power yet so if possible I'd like to not lose it. My main understanding which even then is just a guess is that I'll probably only be able to die three times, this is a rpg based world so it would make sense for my death counter to be based on games as well. I don't have the definitive answer yet but I should limit my power until I learn more about it.'

Subaru was using all of his brain power to try and figure out a plan that would be able to let him move on to the next day and not have to suffer another painful death.

'Even if I were to leave I'd die out there any way, so no matter how you look at it I'm in danger. I'm not some great hero so it makes sense why I'd want to save myself…Right? I don't want to die again, then again what if that was all a dream? What if none of that had ever happened and I'm just accepting it as fact? No no! I can't think like that, if I do I'll probably start to lose my mind…Is there any way that I can save myself? Argh, my thoughts keep bouncing back and forth! I keep thinking about saving others but also I'm having thoughts of abandoning people so I can save myself…Then again, is there any problem with wanting to live? I mean it makes sense since survival is normally a number one priority and it seems any time I try to help someone I end up getting killed in the process anyway…Maybe I'm doomed to die and this whole reincarnation thing is just showing that I chose the wrong option…'

Subaru sighed and decided to completely reset his thoughts. He couldn't think of what it was he truly wanted to do and it was causing torment to stir up in his head.

'Maybe if I just save my friends? I'd at least want them to live happy lives…You know what, I'll just continue being my usual self, yeah…I think that's fine! Maybe it really was just some strange nightmare and it won't really happen…'

Subaru left the adventurer's guild building and by the time he found a place to stay it was already night. He lied down on the hard hay and had finally reached a decision on what it was he was going to do.

'I'm not some self righteous hero who can save everyone, I know that. Since Kazuma was told the same thing I was told, albeit in a very different way since he literally abducted the goddess who was meant to tell him that, there are probably others who believe they were chosen to be the hero. Henceforth I'm not special in any way, just a guy who was given the chance to reincarnate. With this in mind the best course for me to take is to find any way for me to survive, I'm no hero so there's no guarantee that I can save people and I don't want to more damage then good if possible. I myself am the top priority, if I can save others in the process because they happened to line up with my plans to save myself then that'll be just that, a coincidence. That is my final decision, save myself using this power to its smallest amount and if possible coincidentally keep some people alive. It may not sound that great but it's not like I'm the main character of a shonen manga who try's to save everyone while putting himself in danger…'

Subaru looked up at the cold wooden ceiling above him and waited patiently to fall asleep so he could enact his plan the following morning while hundreds of thoughts swarmed through his already pulsating head.