21 R18!!!!! Actually, It's Not. I Lied. Okay, Maybe A Little At The End.

I struggled. I fought with the perseverance of a Scottish Warrior, the ferocity of the Huns, and the intelligence of all man-kind!

No, seriously. I was clawing away at my jacket sleeves just to get out. I don't even remember how I lost one of the pant legs, but I did.

Brittney: "You havn't seen the last of me Ron Stoppable! I will get you eventually!"

Just my luck, she throws out a cliche line as I am the one running away. But I did escape!

Ah crud.. I wanted to get her number so we could keep in touch. I guess I'll call Brad the day after tomorrow to subtly ask for her cell phone number.

Yeah. Real subtle like.

Though I wish the return back to the hotel would have gone differently. Wasn't bad per se. Just.. different than what I expected.

Mr. S: "And so to escape perilous doom, you had to sacrifice one of the pant legs and your tuxedo jacket?"

Me: "Yep. About sums it up."

Mr. S: "Sigh. Well I guess it was meant to happen one day."

?

Mr. S: "Look son.. There comes a moment when a young man such as yoursel-"

Okay. No. This ain't happening.

Me: "Birds and bees. Already know it. No need to explain more."

Yep. Direct approach is always best.

Mr. S: "Then did you know not to stick your dick in crazy?"

...

...

For the first time in my life... I actually feel like I could call him pops..

Me: "I havn't yet....."

Mr. S: "I'm sensing a 'but' here..."

Me: "You don't want to know."

That was pretty much it.. He gave me a nod, a pat on the shoulder, and told me to get changed as he throws away whatever remained of the suit.

I almost forgot about the phone the twins had gifted me until I noticed it on the nightstand between the beds. Huh, well then.

It wasn't long until mum came back and man was she spittin' fire! Ranting about how the 'ladies', back in the after party for the rest of the family while the newly married husband and wife left, were talking about me behind my back. Something about me bringing a hooker to a 'holy ceremony' of sorts.

Of course, leave it to her to bring the pain by mentioning how in the world would they know? 'Oh, their sons saw her at a corner, or their boyfriend saw me and her in a back alley', kind of nonsense. Funny enough she mentioned how she heard all those said guys, me as well, had went to a strip club...

She didn't stop me from going to a strip club? I've long accepted these two aren't great at parenting, or even being parents, but that is golden. I literally saved a friend because they didn't stop me.

And now hearing her defend 'my honor' was kind of humbling. Even if she knew what might have actually been the case. But hey, don't ask don't tell, works quite well in my favor.

Me: "You know you don't have to do that, right? You two don't have to ruin your relationship with the family over something that small."

Mrs. S: "Son.. Look.. We are not normal. All three of us are far from that. But I refuse to let anyone talk bad about my son! We were only invited here so they could rub mine and your father's face in how much better they are compared to us."

Mr. S: "Not to mention how far we have strayed from the path as we only devout enough to visit temple instead of following the faith to the letter."

They both shared a laugh at that.

Huh, I guess there are just some things I didn't realize about my parents.

Now on to bigger news. That night I had returned to Brittney's place and slipped a note under her door to remind her to give the producer her cell phone number. Not the home phone number. So they can easily reach her... yeah, subtly going to get her number..

I hope she sees it before heading out.

Then the next big thing I had to deal with...Calling the girls.

I'm in a state of anger, disbelief, betrayal, and stupified. Despite disbelief and stupified are the same thing, I still felt way! But I also couldn't be. I mean really, I know they are hormonal teenagers too. I have noticed they never took interest in other guys. I just wanted to wait to see if I had a chance when I was older...

And as it turns out, I have a chance now. Like I could call the twins and say bend over and they would. That both bothers and excites me. The same can probably be said for the girls, excluding Tara... She's my princess. Just need to forget about the fact she has a few odd eccentric fetishes.

... I'm being too obstinate about this but it is who I am. And I'm proud of it! Though the fact is that I've been too normal lately despite the fact that my very life is far from it. Not that I'm trying to be normal; just unconsciously I am making myself be 'normal', despite me making 'Never Be Normal' my motto. Sigh...

And I'm also procrastinating on calling. Even if I do want to check in on Rufus. He's my buddy. Despite all my faults, he always has my back.

And next time I go on a mission I'm bringing him along. Not just so he can make sure Kim no longer molests me. Yep yep.

So I never called.

So as the 'rents drove us all the way back to Middleton, Colorado, while I was mentally bracing myself for the meet up, I had called Brad and got Brittney's number. I easily ignored the jab from him that I should already have her number; at least he did get it for me.

And so.. After a long and grueling 17 hour long drive.. We were home!

I did try to convince them to let me drive but they weren't having it sadly.

Me: "Let me bring in the luggage while you two get some rest. I'll probably head out to see the girls too."

I did suppress a chuckle when they barely nodded at me and zombie walked their way inside to their bedroom. Psh, only a short drive. Tsk tsk... It's not as if I laid down the entire time and enjoyed being lazy. Nope.

Now onto the Possible household where my anxiety can begin to crush my very soul! Yay!

Ugh.

I did my usual thing. I went to the front dood and rang the bell. Waited with no response. Yet again. Sigh.

I walked around the back, just to see if anyone was around, but I definitely did not expect to see this.

Dr. Mrs. P: "Oh god yes. Harder. Give it to me harder! Oh that feels SO gooooood."

Was not expecting to see Mrs. P .. Ann.. tending to herself. And while it is healthy to take care of yourself, it is not healthy for me to be watching her pleasure herself. It is not doing wonders for me, I'll tell you what!

But she puts the mmmm in M.I.L.F!

She gave up any and all decorum with her face planted in the sun bathing chair. Her plump ass was shaking as she kept pushing herself onto her fingers. Her breats were going to have marks on them with how hard she was pushing herself onto that chair.

Ann: "Fuck me you stallion. Oh god yes. Let met teach you how to fuck a red headed slut. Kimmie thinks she's being quiet but I can hear her moan for you. Oh fuck yes."

... What... The... Absolute... Fudge?

Ann: "She's becoming just like her mommy. Oh yes, Ron. Fuck me like the bitch I am! My husband wants to fuck other sluts, then I'll fuck a stuuuUUUUUOOOOHHH FUCK ME FUUUUUCK"

I give up.

I think it's best I go crawl in bed and prepare myself for another time.