In The Begining GOD WAS A DICK!("I heard that")

As I walk down the street I hear a scree.... then darkness.

The next thing I know I'm in a completely white void. Something like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber from Dragon Ball, 'how cliché' I thought to myself.

Suddenly a bright ball of light appeared just a few feet in front of me and spoke with a smooth calming voice that you would hear from Micheal in Highschool DxD.

God: "Welcome child I regret to inform you that you have died."

'Yeah I figured that part out and why do I get the feeling you had something to do with this.'

Man: "WTF! Did I seriously just die from the typical isekai Truck-kun this is bullshit." I said this with quite the annoyed look and tone.

God: "Well I'm glad you are familiar with what will happen to your soul I'm afraid I don't know what this truck-kun is." As he spoke I could almost swear he was being genuine if not for the big ear to ear grin on "his" face.

Man: "Bullshit you don't know!" As I let my true thoughts known.

All of a sudden it seemed the "room" began to shake and tremble as I thought 'I just fucked up didn't I' and cursed myself for letting my emotions get out of control as I heard "him" speak again only instead of it being soothing and smooth it sounded jagged and filled with the absolute malice of hell .

God: "ALRIGHT ASSHOLE IF YOUR GONNA BE LIKE THAT THEN I'LL TELL YOU, YOU HAD A BRAIN ANURISYM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AND DIED INSTANTLY!."

I tried to muster some form of courage even though I felt if I were in my body I most certainly would have voided my bowels. Then my voice finally rang out in a meek and weakened.

Man: "Oh..." 'SHIIIITTTTT'

Then "he" spoke again, once more his voice went back to being smooth, yet it still retained it's malice and the room still continued to shake.

God: "YEAH I WAS GONNA LET YOU CHOOSE THE WORLD YOU GOT TO GO TO AND GIVE YOU A FEW WISHES BUT NOW, FUCK IT I'M PUTTING YOU IN THE MOST OVER THE TOP WORLD I CAN THINK OF, THE ONLY LUCK YOU WILL HAVE IS BEING RELATED TO ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, GOOD LUCK YA DICK!"

'Wait can't we talk about this more stop please I want my wishes' then a bright light enveloped me completely and I whited out.

When I opened my eyes I saw a pair of small hands and a metal floor. That's when I realized, I'm in a machine with a bunch of red threads around me. 'Man what a DICK' are the last thought I had before I lost consciousness