1 Volume 1
Adam had just gotten back from another fruitful day of making the airport commuters' life a little miserable as the head of the TSA. He was in no way a sadist, but it was always funny to see Karens and Kevins argue with his team, only to be subjected to more scrutiny and wasting their time, ergo- making them even more miserable.
He showered, changed, ate his dinner, watched the news, watched some Cartoons, and then went to sleep reading a book at a reasonable hour. Having a pleasant dream he drifted on in dreamland until- *BANG* *CRASH*
There was a loud crash as if a cupboard had fallen over. Adam's eyes flew open, immediately trying to get up, except that his body felt a bit odd, heavy. Adam thought he was being robbed and tried to get out of his bed except to find that he was in a crib. He reached for the bars of the crib in utter disbelief, but found that his hands were small and pudgy.
Realization set in as he plopped down on his crib looking at the dead body of a tear-stained woman that hit the floor before his eyes and a hooded man pointing his wand right at him. "Avada Kedavra!" a silky smooth voice had half-hissed those words.
In a bright green flash Adam found himself going numb and faint as he closed his eyes, his last thoughts before going unconscious being, "Fuck me! I'm Harry Potter...."
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Three years later... (1983, age three)
*Bang Bang* "Get up boy. Start your chores and do not forget to bring in the newspaper." the harpy, who Adam was forced to call his aunt woke him up as usual to do the chores that only the maid or a servant would do. It ranged from picking up after his fat-ass cousin and his fatter-ass Uncle to cleaning the dishes to trimming the lawn.... and everything else that needs to be done in the house, except cooking.
Aunt Petunia, as the harpy woman was called, made all the meals of the day. But Adam suspected, she would start ordering him to do that also in a couple of years.
Dudley, Adam's... or rather Harry's cousin had started his journey to become a human pig, already putting on more than twice the amount of weight a normal three year old should be. "Like father like son, I guess the rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree." He mused to himself
After he finished his chores Harry sneaked into Uncle Vernon's room opened his wallet and stole a single twenty pence coin and sneaked back out. It was 1983 and one could buy a lot with twenty pence. But he had no means to buy anything since he doesn't leave the house due to his age. He just saved it for a rainy day... or any other day the Dursley's decide they should starve him as a punishment. It's not like they need an excuse to punish him.
PoV...
It was 8:00 in the morning and the Fatass father-son duo where having breakfast. I sneaked a couple of toast while Petunia wasn't looking and a couple more from Dudley's plate making him think that he already finished eating and asked for more, which Petunia happily obliged. She them gave my two pieces of toast and sent back to my room, where I would stay till the evening. With quite a decent haul, I happily(inwardly) left to my cupboard under the stairs.
I kinda liked the small space actually, since I always like cramped spaces. I must have been a cat in my previous life-... wait... nope. I was Adam in my previous life.
In the afternoon, Petunia would bring me a plate of food discreetly ordering me to not make noise since her friends usually come by to visit her at the time and discuss the latest gossip doing the rounds in the neighborhood.
After licking the crumbs off my hand I sat cross-legged and closed my eyes. I started doing this everyday to calm my thoughts and clear my mind of distractions. I was starting the basics of Occlumency which was basically deep meditation. Why was I doing this? Because I was bored? I had nothing else to do? I can't do any kind of magic as of the moment?
It seemed that all the fan-fiction of MC learning how to do wandless magic by meditating and IMAGINATION and becoming the Arcmage or Warlock or whatever Chuuni fuckfest was all shit. Wait. I'm British now... so Shite. Oh, I learnt it the hard way. I was so frustrated one day after trying to do magic that I started trying to squeeze my non-existant magic out.... buuuut ended up crapping my pants. And this was last month, So I got the ass whooping of the Century from Vernon. After I cleaned my butt of course.
Anyways, this was all I can do besides accidental magic. Like growing my hair to its former messy condition, the day after Petunia shaves it all off. Or sometimes when I burn myself accidentally touching the stove, the burn mark completely dissappears after the next day without a trace.
Only yesterday the knife slipped from my hands while I was cleaning the table after the two human-hippos ate breakfast. It was about to fall on my foot, but it just bounced off my foot and landed right inside the knife cabinet. It honestly looked like some DudePerfect trick shot.
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Two years later... (1985, age five)
It seemed like only yesterday that I had joined school and I honestly want to kill myself. The torture of dealing with kids is wearing my patience thin. But I found out that acting lazy and always sleeping tended to make the hyper-active kids to leave alone. I was the Shikamaru of Jenkin's Primary School, always the lazy and sleepy kid who doesn't want to play. But to the teachers I was Shikamaru- the Intelligent and smart kid who could think well beyond his years and peers.
The Dursley's now realizing that I was outshines their dear "Dudders" tried to threaten me into performing poorly, but I did not give a flying fuck. They can only beat so much without gaining attention, if they overdo it, they would get caught by CPS.
They immediately changed my school to a public school where the education system was just abysmal. But I outshone there too, making life a bit difficult for the Dursleys because I was getting more fame.
After that it was just smooth sailing.... well for the most part, I still had to deal with Dudley after coming back home. Atleast I don't have to tolerate him in my new school. Since I was not a very academically inclined student I joined the Table Tennis club. Since it was the only sport which had members that did not involve rolling in mud.
The three most popular sport were Football, Rugby and Cricket. The first two I know how but involves playing in muddy conditions due to the constant rain. Cricket was something that was kinda slow paced and there is a lot of standing around and doing nothing most of the time so I just gaveup on that one.
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Two years later.... (1987, age seven)
On the early morning of the last month of July I felt a strange sensation slither down my whole body. My hair was standing up like a cat's and I felt tingly and itchy all over my body, the scar on my forehead also hurt a bit. It lasted for only a few seconds before everything went back to normal. If I wasn't staying up late and reading I wouldn't have even noticed.
It was a weird sensation and I theorized it to be some form of accidental magic, although the scar hurting was a bit concerning. In the movies and the books, it either meant Voldemort was nearby or something bad was about to happen. The original Harry always had a throbbing headache just before something happened to him. Like some kind of fucked up POTTER-TINGLE.
I went to school and the day just went by till it 3:00 in evening. I went to the gym and started playing some ping pong when the upper classmen who taught me the basics and kind of welcomed me into the group after I showed them I was serious in this sport. I kinda liked it. It was fast paced and I didn't have to roll around in the mud.
After that it was back home and doing the chores before I go back to my cupboard- I mean my room and do my homework if there was any and then some meditation to spend the rest of the evening since I since I have nothing to do from 8:00PM to 11:00PM.
This became a my regular routine for the next few years except for the weekends. On weekends they lock me up in the cupboard and go on a holiday or a vacation to the nearby tourist spots or visit their relatives or something.
I did not care much. It took me a year of practice, but I became somewhat adept at picking locks especially with my nimble and sensitive little fingers, it was pretty easily to feel the pins in the lock.
So I picked the lock and spent some time watching the new TV set they bought, eating cookies, snacks and chocolates that Dudley had in his room. Went for a jog around the neighborhood, say hi to Arabella Figgs on the way and get a toffee whenever I visit her.
I return and lock myself before they reach home I would be pretending to be fast asleep and snoring, till Petunia wakes me up with her shriek.
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Two years later.... (1989.... age nine)
I had finally done it! I had finally seen the fruits of my labor! I was meditating one day and suddenly I felt the POTTER-TINGLE and there was a surge of energy that flooded my for a few seconds bit immidiately subsided as it came.
I instinctualy realized that I was able to recall almost anything that had a significant impact with extreme clarity in my head (which was probably everything that happened to me since my reincarnation), even the sounds, colors and the smells were replicated in the memories. Even the first moment in this life- when the devilishly handsome albiet gaunt face of an aged Voldemort grinning at him while a beam of emerald green light barreled towards me.... but this did not dampen my spirits
I had finally achieved Occlumency! It must have started on my seventh birthday, when that midnight incident took place. I finally unlocked my Magic! This excited me a lot.
I was patient for a few days feeling for any kind of energy or ambient magic or something in my room, till I saw the Dursleys on a their weekly outings and excursions with their precious Dudders.
I went on my knees slowly prying open a floorboard and getting a box out. In it where seven wads of Pounds each indicating a Hundred pounds and some loose notes with a few coins. I took out a 2Pound coin and placed the box back inside and eased the board back in its place. The money was courtesy of Aunt Marge, who gave the money to Dudley to spend for each of his birthday every year. Which I promptly liberated half everytime she gave it.
Vernon and Petunia were suspicious at first and turned the whole house upside down to search for it, but sadly they couldn't, because I first hid it in Dudley's own rooms floorboard. Now that's called hiding right under their nose. Literally. They eventually gave up thinking it was Dudley who lost it and gave him more money to spend, which I again stole a bit without them noticing.
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I placed the coin on the far end of the bed and stretched out my hands, as if using the FORCE to telekinetically pull the coin to myself. "Hnnnnnnnnnn!!!!! Aaaahhh!! GOD! FUCKING! DAMNIT!" I lost my temper after trying for almost two hours continously. But to no vail, I roared in frustration after thinking that I wasted my time-
*BOOM*
A shock spread outwards from me pushing everything back and slamming onto the wall. There wasn't much space to begin so almost everything just slammed against the wall and clattered to the floor. Thankfully nothing broke so I just put everything back in its place, not like I had much to break. After calming down a little, I started punching the air, silently screaming in victory, till my face became red and I was out of breath. But it felt like for the first time things were starting to look up. Everything's coming up Mil- I mean Potter!
After tidying up the room and ending my victory dance, I place the coin back on the farthest end of the bed and tried again, but it did not move. I realized my mistake immidiately. I could not concentrate at all on what I was doing as I started imagining throwing spell after spell at the bald Pedomaru wannabe. I was about to start it again, when I heard the door open and the screech voice of Petunia was heard. I just sighed and tucked the coin into my school shoes.
Dinner was a subdued event since the Dursleys were too tired from having too much fun and went straight to bed. I on the other hand also went to bed, but was not able to sleep. What I did instead, was to replay the memory of what just happened, again and again in slow motion- remembering the feeling of the power, the way the energy moved from inside me, how it left my body... every minute detail of the memory.
Six years.... Six years of constant practice, bored out of my head and putting up with these pigs. It all paid off.Everything I did paid off in the end. With that though I slipped into a one of the best naps I have ever had in both my lives.
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Come morning, I finished my daily chores and went of to school, all the while trying to levitate the same coin in my hand, slowly feeling for its surface without touching it.
This became an obsession for me as I slowly started feeling around with my magic and one day I had succeeded. The coin in front of me was slowly floating in front of my face. I was in a park, after skipping table tennis club, trying to do magic.
I kept the coin afloat, not willing to let go of it, this continued till I noticed the sky changing its color to a beautiful orange-pink sunset and the temperature dropping. It was time for me to go back, but I froze as I stood up from the park bench. A low hissing sound came from the nearby bushes.
{Wwwiiiizzzzz.... zzzaaaarrrd¿.... sssss..... hide....ssss} I whirled around trying to see from where I heard the hissing. I was one hundred percent sure it was a snake. "Yes. I'm a wizard. Can you come out?" I asked in English hoping that it would understand, since it was intelligent to identify me as a wizard. "You can come out. I won't hurt you..." I tried to sound as friendly as possible. There was a sense of fear in its voice and was trying to escape from the place. How I knew it? must be the Parsletougue acting up.
{Ssssppeeee.....kkkeeeerrrr.... ssss!} huh.... it's mood changed immediately from scared to... umm. It's difficult to explain: like a fan meeting a celebrity on the street. Not quite fanboyish, just like, "Wow man. Big fan. Keep it up. I'll be rooting for you." giving the celebrity a handshake and walking away. Something like that.
Never knew animals could have such complex emotions. But I should have guessed... afterall Huskies exist.
I nodded, "Yes. I'm a speaker." The brown and black, garden snake slowly slithered in front of me and looked up in wonder. {It iiiiissssss..... honor..... ssss... ssspeeeaakeeer... sssss...} I spoke to it mundane things like what it does during the day and night, what it eats and also I asked how it knows about Parsletougue- or Speaker as it put. It said that it just knew. I concluded that this was based on instinct or sixth sense, something all animals are theorized to have. This must be the magical suped-up version of the same thing.
As I was rushing back home I was thinking about a few things. Now I just added a thing to my To Do list. Learn how to talk in Parsletougue. In the Movies, Harry had instinctively talked in the Snake tongue.
I reached the Dursley's as these thoughts were swirling in my mind. Safe to say I got an ass spanking that had healed by the Morning. The Dursleys were not cruel in the sense that they torture me by caning or whipping me, like most fanfics would make you believe. They(mostly Vernon or Dudley) just smack me on the head and send me to my room/cupboard. They just treat me like a servant. Maybe a poorly paid servant who has no other job opportunities.
I went to my room without food after cleaning the dishes and laid on the bed. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply and slowly, relaxing my mind and body as I delved deep inside my memories....
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An year later.... (1990, age ten)
It did not take long for me to get fluent in Parsletougue as I went back to the park to talk to my friend everyday. Now I could just talk in Parsletougue as if it were English and I wouldn't even know the difference. I also found that out the hard way. A couple of months ago, I was talking to some of the kids and by mistake I started hissing and making peculiar noise. The teachers thought I was choking and gave me the Hiemlich maneuver, which only resulted in puking my stomach's contents. From then on I made a conscious effort to think before I speak.
The biggest improvement was my magic. I have reached a level that I can Shinra Tensei a person about ten feet, and that was me trying my 70%. My Guinea Pigs were Dudley's bully friends, who are now traumatized with a broken arm, muttering that they were attacked by a ghost.
I could push, pull, lift... whatever I could do with my hands. I can either send out a cone of force in front of me that could push anything and everything in its range, which is 6 feet. Or I can send the Force like a cylinder the size of my palm which has a longer range if 8 feet, kinda like the "Air Palm" like what Neji and Hiashi Hyuuga use in Naruto.
But all that pales in comparison to the ParsleMagick I had accidentally used.
I had been pulling out the weeds from the front yard, and I accidentally pulled a few Petunias that Aunt Petunia was growing. In a panic I tried to put it back together on my own, then with magic but it still looked liked it was uprooted. In desperation I was muttering and did not realize I was talking in Parsletougue.
{c'mon... ssss... Fixsssss it..... get fixxsssssed...ssss}
The effect was slow but definitely noticeable, the stems and the rooted dug itself slowly and put itself back together stood firm and tall. It even grew a few centimeter. The reason it worked was because the word "Fix", "mend" and "heal" are all the same since it has the same meaning and intonation.
I had been practicing ParsleMagick since then and was now quite good at it. I found out by trial and error, that ParsleMagick was a field of magic closely related to what Nerds call "Druidic Magic". As in plants and animals. Parslemagick works only on Living tissue and not on inanimate objects. But to control plants to
No wonder Merlin was called the "Recluse and Eccentric Druid" who talks to plants and animals. Who was also the "Prince of Enchanting" for imbueing things with magic. but enough about him.
I tried talking to animals with Parsletougue, but did not yield any results, so I tried using Legillemancy with gave me instant control of the animal. It was not like "warging" no. I just gave them commands and they did it without a protest. Animal minds are basically defenseless just as most muggles. Although some so called geniuses and prodigies have a very weak mental block, that is as good as being non-existent.
They might notice if some untrained Legillemance tries to enter their minds. But I neither have the time, patience, the need or any reason to follow through with those kinds of experimentation.
Almost my entire time is occupied by my [Force Magic] my [ParsleMagick] and [Occlumency and Legillemancy] that I stopped going to the Clubs and started going back to my room sooner to start practice as soon as I come home, although I maintained my perfect score streak till now, for no apparent reason. I just do it because I can.
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An year later... (1991, age 10)
It was the Summer Holidays and school won't start till first another week on the month of August. It was the 24 of July 1991 and it was on this day that my life changed forever. Right when I went out to get the paper, a large tawny owl landed on the porch and stretched out his clawed foot like the good boy he is! Oh yes he is! O yes he is!-
*Ahem*
I took the offered letter and pet the owl, which it must have liked. It was about to take off after it had its fill of affection shown. I blurted, "Wait!", amazingly it had its wings outstretched but did not take off. "Can I send a reply? I can give some food if you like? As a reward? Please" I said hurriedly, praying that it would understand my words.
The oil's hoot of affirmation gave me some joy as I rushed inside and back outside before anyone noticed, grabbing a pen and a piece of toast which I gave it to the Owl and scribbled a letter as quickly as possible on the envelope the letter came in-
Dear Hogwarts,
I know the existence of magic, as I have witnessed it one too many times to not believe in it. I wish to express my gratitude on this opportunity, but it seems that the Dursleys do not want anything to do with my "Freakishness" and will not allow me to go. By the time this letter reaches you, they would have locked me up in the cupboard under the stairs. Please send someone to convince them so that I could attend your esteemed institute.
With thanks
Yours Sincerely,
Harry Potter.
I quickly tied the letter to the Owl and held it tenderly, "I would be ever so grateful if you sent this to Professor McGonagall." I waited to see if it understood. It peered at me with those big beautiful eyes till it closed it and rubbed its beak on my face. With a screech it flew away, My spirit soared high as I watched it soar away.
I stood and watched it fly away till it was but a mere speck in the sky, then I went inside. I just finished reading the contents of the letter when Dudely, with surprising nimbleness snatched the letter and rushed of to Petunia yelling, "Mooooom! Harry got a letter!!!"
I just stood there with a smirk, I pushed my glasses back up the bridge of my nose my smirk growing wider, "Hmm...All according to Keikaku."
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I was immediately locked up.
