1 Nothing but Ash

All around Shamhat the deep shadows of the forest gained substance, at the limits of her line of vision trees emerged from the inky darkness as long outstretched branches in arches above thick entwined trunks. Stretches of midnight sky bejeweled with twinkling stars yielded to the coming dawn with intruding streaks of pink and violet. Hickory and pine smoke warmed the frost heavy air, intermingling with the scent of damp pine and the musky scent of sex.

When had she fallen asleep? How long had it been since dawn?

Shamhat didn't remember closing her eyes but as she shifted beneath her blanket, she felt a pleasant snugness accompanied by a warm press of a muscular chest pressed against her back and strong arms pulling her closer. Images of the evening before came back in a haze, a tangle of clothes and yielding flesh, the taste of chocolate and red wine. Eagerness that tested their stamina that left them coupled as they drifted to slumber.

She hadn't her fill of him, not yet. It had been too long since their last coupling and it was too soon for it to end. Shamhat lifted her hips, slowly urging him deeper.

"You're awake?" Enkidu whispered against her shoulder; his breath hot as he kissed it to let her know that he was awake. With a smile, Shamhat turned her head to peer at the well sculpted face of her lover. Deep green eyes met hers for a moment before a rough hand slid up over the curve of her breasts from her hip to her throat and finally to the side of her cheek to guide their lips together.

They drank of each other like they were drowning, desperate for the other's breath. Rich chocolate rolled against her tongue as a reminder of the beginning of a winter evening beside the dying embers of a campfire. Memories of what came before were bitter and grey, the only thing that mattered was this moment as she lived it. The eager press of his tongue tickled the roof of her mouth, probing deeper with a promise of more.

Enkidu crushed against her, holding her steady as he shifted their position, pulling her upright into his lap. Shamhat moaned into his mouth, she wanted to face him. She broke away for a moment, throwing her arms around him as she pulled herself into his lap. She watched his intent gaze, her hand sliding down his slick firm length, guiding him back into her eager depths.

They moved easily together, their pace quickening as Shamhat wrapped her legs around him, the tension in her body coiling as Enkidu's thrusts deepened. Their breathing ragged, their lips found each other, pressing together to share their breath. Shamhat lost her sense of time, only the urgency they shared was important. As they stepped across the threshold of desire, all masks shattered and darkness fell away. She lost track of where he ended and she began, light erupted through her senses- united in divinity and pure devotion they were halves of a whole that transcended all things but one.

When the light faded, Shamhat woke alone to a warm empty spot beside her. She rubbed her eyes, blinking at the appearance of a brilliant blue sky and the glistening surface of a clear lake.

"Enkidu?" She called. Birdsong and the wind greeted her. She scanned the trees, seeing only rough bark and emerald leaves. She rose from the blanket and felt the tickle of a breeze over her bare skin. She stretched her arms, her leathery wings unfurling with the movement before resettling around her shoulders like a cloak.

When had the weather turned? Had spring come early or was it only a warm afternoon?

Shamhat walked towards the lake and saw a familiar form with his back to her. She recognized the leather and steel armor and the long raven black hair tied out of the way into three elaborate braids. Her chest tightened at the thought of what it meant for Enkidu to be dressed this way.

When had he changed? Was he about to leave again?

"Enkidu? Where are you going?" Shamhat's pulse quickened as she drew closer to Enkidu. He did not turn to look at her. The mountain breeze rustled through the trees, disturbing the surface of the lake. In the distance, she heard a splash.

"Enkidu?" Her lover did not answer. Her pace quickened, as her need to know why gnawed on her.

Was he angry with her?

She reached out to touch his shoulder. "Enkidu, why aren't you answering?" Her hand passed through her shoulder's lover. Her heart sank. What had happened?

Her thoughts swam as a kaleidoscope of memories came rushing back. She grabbed the sides of her aching head as her body shifted, distorted around her. She sank to the ground as her equilibrium shot upwards. Her skin stretched and thickened as pores erupted into thick scales.

"No!" Shamhat shrieked as her vocal cords elongated transforming her scream into a mournful roar. Images of a golden dragon soaring over the mountain tops, a nest of broken opaline shells inside a cave, a horrific clash of warriors upon a bloody battlefield as the dragon swooped down unleashing a wave of fiery death upon them. The searing heat of her memories rolled over skin in a soothing wave, she knew instinctively that fire was not her enemy.

"Why am I seeing this?" She pleaded. She opened her eyes as the world changed, the colors she recognized were overlaid with auras she recognized as temperature. Shamhat craned her suddenly long neck around and saw the world from high above it. Her body was suddenly muscular, scaled and golden. Her monstrous wings flapped in panic, creating thick waves across the lake.

A golden eyed maiden slipped down through the mountains and curiously peered at a wounded warrior laying unconscious at the side of a lake. Shamhat forced herself to concentrate on the fuzzy image, she found herself in the perspective of the maiden. Her hands were pressed against the face of the warrior, much younger Enkidu.

A crone's claws tightened around a thin, human arm, "This will only end in fire. Let him go. The longer you deny this the longer he'll suffer," she hissed.

Enkidu pulled the crone away with a sneer. "Stop talking like I have no say in the matter! I chose her and all that comes with it. The gods can strike me down but I stand with her!"

"Only ash will remain of your love!" The Crone spit. "Cursed is your union!"

The maiden's voice was calm, soft. "We found each other once and I pray, we'll continue to find each other."

Shamhat wanted to deny it as the information became clearer. The images and memories came into sync. She was a golden dragon of the Zagros, sworn to protect the sacred Cedar Forest. She'd been sent to hunt down the human that cut down one of the heart trees. Human kingdoms were at war and needed more wood from the forest to make their instruments to defend themselves.

"I'll find you again," Enkidu smiled so sweetly at her as she held his bloody form in her lap. Her tears flowed down her cheeks, burning holes in his armor. "I hate to see you cry."

His hand cupped her cheek as she placed a last kiss on his lips. "Please don't go. You promised forever."

"Shamhat, I...." Enkidu's final confession died on his lips. All his strength was not enough to overcome the whims of fate and the will of the gods.

"No. No. No." No matter how much she pleaded Enkidu was just a man. She had forgotten her sacred duty for the love of a man. They'd been cursed by the gods to repeat this cycle of heartbreak. She was a dragon. She clutched his body as it turned to ash in her arms.

Enkidu....

She was a dragon tied to the sacred forest. Every generation a new Enkidu appeared and it began again. She could not turn him away. She recognized his soul in a new shell. Sometimes, he look like himself and others, he was a woman. It didn't matter, it was her Enkidu. But every time, she lost him. It hurt worse than the last.

One day, magic faded from the world. The gods fell silent, no longer were the skies filled with dragons nor the forests with magical beasts. She was the last guardian of a world forgotten by man. She sat beside her lake, waiting for the last night to end.

Shamhat closed her eyes remembering the sensation of falling into Enkidu. They were one as everything was in the universe. His love left its mark on her soul after that first spark of the divine they shared together. Hunted by the phantasm of the love they shared over the centuries, she waited for one last sunrise to see his face once more. He was everything - the mountain breeze, her heartbeat but even connected, she was alone.

She opened her eyes as the warmth of morning came. All the colors bled together as her body faded away, she spread her wings one last time and disappeared with the last vestige of night.