57 Chapter 50: A Mother's... Feelings?

[Fleur's POV]

Fleur: "Fina…"

I was about to turn around after hearing them end their conversation, but… Just in time, Fina bumped into me as she is about to enter the mine, meeting her eyes in the process.

Fina: "A-Ahh… Were you listening? Hyahaha… Th-That's embarrassing."

Fleur: "Uhm… N-No… I was just… I only heard from when Master was about to go on a patrol."

I can only tell her the truth. I do not want to lie. Somehow, I find it hard trying to lie before Fina. Such a weird thought, considering the fact that we just met.

Fina: "I see. But, good timing. I was just about to look for you."

Fleur: "Me? Is there something you wish to ask of me?"

Fina looked behind her, where she was just talking with Master. Perhaps, this talk is something that she does not want Master to hear. Thus, I nodded and we walk to a secluded place, where the sound of the miners are now nearly inaudible.

Fina: "I think around here will do."

We arrived at a corridor of earthen walls, connecting the two spaces where the miners mine.

Master have already confirmed the safety of these walls and the space where they mine, hence the worry of being suddenly attacked by monsters is extremely low.

Fleur: "…?"

Fina stopped on her tracks and turned to face me, her face is serious. I've known her for just a short amount of time, but I feel like this expression of hers does not match her personality.

But after a while of staring at me, she flashed a gentle smile, as if she's looking at something precious.

I do not really understand why, as I am merely someone who just became her friend. I do not really think I deserve a smile so gentle like that.

But rather than being bewildered by it, I feel at ease…

Fina: "It's really weird. *giggle* It's really weird, I tell you."

Fleur: "Weird… you say?"

Fina placed her clutched up hands before her lips and let out a soft chuckle, leaving me perplexed.

Fleur: "What do you mean?"

Fina: "Ahh… Okay. Let me tell you first. What I will be saying isn't related to what I actually want to say later, okay? So, uhm… Can I tell you something strange?"

I nodded.

It seems like she herself has some thoughts she wants to convey, but is finding it hard to express. I, too, often have times like that. Back at the castle, and even with Master.

She's expressive, but I suppose there is still this side of Fina as well. But I still cannot see what she is trying to say.

At first glance, it is as if she wants to talk about something serious. But then again, she will smile and mellows the atmosphere with a giggle. Without thinking, I feel swept up by her most of the time.

It is not an unpleasant feeling, however. I enjoy being with her, if anything. Again, I feel at ease.

Fleur: "Sure. I am listening."

I put my hands together and waited for her words.

Fina: "This is the first time we meet right? I mean, earlier. Before we fell into the hole."

Fleur: "…? Yes. That is right."

Fina: "Right? But… I felt it with Ciel, too, of course. That I feel like I met him before. And it turned out I was right. So I think what I suddenly feel out of nowhere is based on something. He was Yohan, after all. Now… Spending time with Fleur… I feel like I there's something in you that draws me in. Ah! It's different with what I felt with Ciel, of course. It's just…"

Fina crossed her arms and tilts her head to think, all the while her eyes are closed. I try to process what she is saying, however…

I am not really sure what to bring out of it.

She feels something in me that draws her in? What is that something? And why me? I have not done anything to deserve that kind of thought from her…

I still cannot see where she is going from this…

Fina: "… To put it simple. I feel like a mother looking at her child."

Fleur: "Eh…?"

Fina: "Ah! J-Just to be clear, I'm a maiden, okay? Not only I didn't have a child in my previous world, I didn't even have a lover. That guy's dense as heck, after all. Hyahaha."

… She meant Master, right? Even as someone who is as slow as a slug on things can understand that much.

But… She sees me as a daughter? How, and why?

Fina: "I'm not really sure, you see. That's why it's really weird for me too. Hyahaha~"

Ahh. I see. So that what she meant by telling me 'something weird.' Even she herself cannot understand what she feels.

Certainly, I feel at ease whenever I am with her. Perhaps, it does makes sense if that is the case…

A mother… Thinking about it, we have not yet mentioned to Fina about what happened to me back in the Demon Continent.

Fina: "I'm not really sure what a parent feels as I grew up without them most of the time, but… If I were to describe this feeling, I can only think of it that way. Hyaha~ What's that again? My motherhood instinct? I'm still 15 in this world, though… Ahaha… I-It's weird, right? You can forget about it!"

Why is she telling me this, I wonder.

Fina: "I just wanted to get it out of my chest… You see… After coming to this world, I've decided to be true to what I feel. I want to express them the moment I feel them. … So that I won't have any regrets…"

Saying so, she put her hands together behind her and hanged her head down, but is instantly replaced with a wry smile.

… Express them the moment you feel them…

Fleur: "… I see… You see, Fina…"

I think I want to tell her about it.

Fina: "Fleur?"

Probably noticing the solemn expression on my face, Fina called out with concern.

And so, I told her about what happened in the Demon Continent. I feared that fear will be instilled in her mind and distance herself away from me. I feared that she will be disgusted of me.

However, I still told her. I do not understand why, but I feel like telling her. Perhaps, this is what she meant by feeling something weird between us… This… out of nowhere reassurance.

I told her.

How I had a Demi mother, and a human father.

How I was loved by them both, and how I loved them too.

That my mother was the Demon Lord back then, and how I dreamed of becoming like her someday.

And…

How I killed them all.

Fina: "…"

But all of a sudden, as I was again drowning in the dark of my past, I felt a tight embrace.

It was from Fina.

Fina wrapped her arms around my back. I am taller than her so she can only reach just below my face, and I had to bow my head down her shoulder.

But still… She hugged me.

Without fearing me… Without feeling disappointed or disgusted of me… She hugged me, filled with kindness. She pulled my head down and envelop my head with her warmth.

This…

… It's the same when Master saved me…

I see. It is certainly weird… Now I feel like I understand what she is trying to say…

Hugging me like this, feeling her warmth… It is like… I can feel Mama's warmth.

Without realizing it, tears have already formed in the corner of my eyes.

Fina: "Are you okay now?"

Fleur: "… I sometimes dream of the incident from time to time, however… Because of Master, those dreamed lessened. And I feel like I can face everything now. He really did save me."

I feel her arms tightened around me.

Fina: "I see."

Unwrapping her arms, she placed her hands on my cheeks. And there, I saw…

Yes… It certainly is weird…

Her eyes…

Fina: "Fleur?"

… are eyes of a mother looking at her child.

Fina: "I may not be your mother, your sister, or any of your family… I cannot replace any of them… But I… I want you recognize me as one. You can tell me everything, okay? I will be here for you."

Fleur: "… Fina…"

… It certainly is weird… I have thought of the same thing over and over again… It is strange… Why do I feel like… I'm being spoken to by Mama…? Why do I feel like I am being comforted by Mama…?

Fleur: "It certainly is weird… Fina."

Fina: "I know right? *giggle*"

She wiped the tears that fell down from my eyes with her thumbs, and withdrew her hand.

Fina: "Phew… It's something I've been bottling up ever since earlier. Sorry if I weirded you out."

Fleur: "… No. I do not mind. Somehow, I feel like I now also feel what you were trying to say."

Fina: "Weird, right?"

Fleur: "Yes."

We both let out a laugh, feeling all warm from what just happened.

Yes, it's strange. However, I feel like something inside me found what it's looking for. And somehow… I feel all the more better, even forgetting the bitter feeling I was brooding over earlier.

Fina: "Anyways. Can I ask something?"

Fleur: "Yes?"

Fina: "You thought that I was going to take Ciel from you, didn't you?"

Fleur: "Eh?!"

S-Suddenly…? Right after we just had that talk…? F-Fina does not waste any time to say what she thinks, I see…

I mean, how did she know? I-I did not tell her anything about it, right?

Fina: "Oh. I was right? Hyahaha~"

Saying it like that, it seems like it was just a hunch of hers…

Fleur: "… Y-Yes… I am sorry."

Was it showing in my face…? I feel so embarrassed right now. I feel my cheeks are on fire…!

Fina: "Don't be sorry. It's fine. I understand how you feel. Hehe~ But, I see~ You…"

Putting her hands behind her, she turned away.

Fina: "Say, what do you think of Ciel?"

Fleur: "Master? That is…"

What do I think of Master?

He is reliable. He can do anything. He always saves me and protects me. He even accepted me even though I am a vile monster.

He pulled me out of my darkness.

But… I feel like it is not what Fina is asking.

Fleur: "I…"

Fina: "… You see. I love him."

Fleur: "…!"

… Why am I surprised? I have noticed that already…

But why did my heart felt like it jumped out of my chest…? Like a rush…

Fina: "But I want to hear what Fleur feels."

Still facing the other way, turned away from me, she speaks. There's no any ill implication in her tone. It sounded calm and gentle, if anything.

Fleur: "…"

If that is what Fina is trying to ask, then…

It is a foreign emotion.

Purin have told me millions of times already, how mother and father fell in love with each other. And every time I listen to them, I feel their love more than anything else. I picture one perfect love.

However…

What about me…?

Is what I am feeling right now 'love'?

Do I…

Fina: "Do you love Ciel?"

… I…

Fleur: "~~~…"

I hold my cheeks with my hands. They feel hot, as if steam would come out from them. My heart beat faster than it ever had before, yet it does not feel uncomfortable. Rather… It feels ticklish and…

I feel like there are butterflies in my stomach.

Fina: "*giggle* That look is more than enough of an answer."

Without noticing it, Fina is already facing my way, smiling ever so brightly.

Fleur: "I… love Master…?"

I placed my hand over my beating chest. And like clearance of the sky, my mind that was clouded with haziness cleared up. Even with my heart beating so fast, I still find myself to be calm to accept it now.

Fina: "We're the same, then. Hyaha~"

Fleur: "… I see. Indeed, we are. *giggle*"

It was this simple, yet I did not realize it sooner. Within the time that I spent with Master every day, I came to love him.

As inexperienced as I am, I still have doubts in my head, or if this feelings is something I can be proud of as I am, however…

I would rather believe it is 'love' than any other else.

Because… It is what I desire.

Fleur: "Wait… Uhm. What do I do now?"

Yes. What comes next after realizing this feeling?

Fina: "He he he…~ That is… You'll have to confess!"

Fleur: "Ehh??? B-But… What about you? I heard from Master quite a while ago that in your world, people only have one spouse…"

Here in this world, polygamy is not uncommon. Most of the royalties in other races have a number of spouses, as one way of proving their worth as a ruler.

It was a night when Master and I were talking about the world he and Fina came from. Somehow, we went from human relationships to how she felt about a certain girl that he often told me about.

To think it was Fina.

But… There is one thing Master told me then, too…

Fina: "Hm? Ahh… You don't have to worry about that. Hyahaha~"

That Master…

Fina: "I already confessed to him."

… loves that girl.

Fleur: "… Then…"

They're already a couple…? Their feelings are mutual… Then, what for do I have to confess?

I… I want to love and be loved by Master too…

Fina: "You see…~"

…

..

.

Chapter End