53 Chapter 46: Fifteen Years of Unvoiced Feelings

[Fina's POV]

Ciel: "Fina, are you happy right now?"

Wiping the sweat off my forehead, I face the source of the question.

These ants really took a lot of effort… Muu…

Fina: "Hm? What's with the sudden question?"

Ciel suddenly asked those words straight at me. They were simple words you can hear anywhere else, but it felt heavy coming from her, nonetheless.

But, I felt like she was asking something different.

Ciel: "Just answer it."

Her eyes that were casted down was something I couldn't ignore. Seeing that forlorn figure of hers, I wanted to answer her honestly.

I wanted to, but…

Fina: "… I am happy. I very am. Hyaha~"

I smiled.

I'm not lying. There's not a single lie in my words. Though my heart was then weight by my own reply, I know I still didn't lie.

But it's also true that I'm not being honest.

I'm happy. If this what I'm feeling in my chest everyday back in the village isn't happiness, then I don't know what is.

I have my mother and father with me all the time. They both love me for who knows how much. I just can't imagine how they won't come to love me anymore. They're the best parents I could ever have.

I have Leila. The little ones in our neighborhood. Everyone in the village. Everyone is in smiles. I'm happy.

Fina: "I'm happy. Of course, I would be."

But I'm not being honest.

I miss him. I miss that guy.

He was my solace. He always teased me, but I never get bored when I'm with him. Whenever I'm with him, I feel at home. Even though my parents are always busy with their work, I didn't feel the least lonely.

I forget that I'm alone.

I'm fulfilled because of him.

He's a part of me.

Fina: "Phew…"

I… I love him.

… So if you tell me to live a place where he's not in? It's like telling me to live my life with a part of me gone. Telling me to live a life without any colors.

Bland.

I'm happy, but I feel like I'm never complete.

He is now my missing puzzle piece.

Fleur: "Ms. Fina!!"

Fleur's loud voice reverberate all over the place. It's like it was pulling me back to reality. I didn't think Fleur would be able to shout like that.

But that wasn't supposed what I should be thinking then. Because behind me…

Fina: "…?!"

… was 'Death' greeting me with two huge scythes.

I could only use my arms to shield myself. Closing my eyes, I was just left with the choice of waiting for the moment it will all end. I braced myself for the pain.

… Just like that? Just when I thought I got my dream family? Just when I thought I'm happy?

Even thought that guy is not with me, I can't deny that this life is already filled with happiness I could burst.

… And now, it will all be gone? Just like that? I'm not even sure if I'd get reincarnated again. Maybe this time, it will really be the end.

… No…

I don't want that…

Not when I finally attained my dream…

Not when there's the possibility of meeting him again… No…

Please…

… Yohan…!

??: "CHLOE!!"

…?!

*RUMBLE*

Everything let out a deafening crumbling noise.

Fina: "… Eh?"

It was just an instant. I didn't see anything of it happened. My mind wasn't able to process what happened. Rather, it's like, I just blinked and everything already had happened.

Fina: "… Wh-Wha…"

I'm being held by Ciel. Her eyes that were once glimmering blue, like the sky at the brightest of the day when there're no clouds in sight, are now crimson red.

Red, like a raging flame engulfing everything in sight. I feel like I, myself, will be enveloped in that fire.

But surprisingly, I felt calm when I look at them. At her. Her flowing hair fluttered in the air, glimmering with strands of silvers. It reflects the sparkles of the cave.

Although…

Ciel: "… Y-You okay, Fina?"

She asked with an agonized voice.

Looking at her closely, her lower lips is painted with red, due to the blood flowing from them. Droplets of sweat are pouring down her forehead.

Fina: "… Y-You said… my name… My name… Chloe… y-you… Eh…?"

Yes. Yes, that's right.

She called me by my name. And not my name in this world. She called me by my name in my former world. The name I've been used to hearing fifteen years ago.

She knew my name. She knew who I was.

My mind can't keep up with this… I just stared at the face of the one who's before me.

Somehow, that guy's face floated in my mind.

Fina: "…"

Even before I could speak, she had already faced the huge monster before us.

Ciel: "… Ignite."

I could only gaze at her face, my mind jumbled and in a disarray. It makes me wonder if it had already frozen from the cold. I can't think properly because of the fast paced developments before my eyes.

The bright light from an explosion lighted the our face with glittering orange

Even before I could think, I was then left again in awe.

Ciel: "Pierce it."

Everything have progressed without waiting for me to catch up.

It all happened in an instant. I was confused, but all giddy. Like something sparkly and prickly is starting to form and take shape inside my heart.

From what I heard, and from all the disarrayed thinking I had been doing, it all starts to makes sense. It all starts to take form in my mind. And from that alone, the bursting hot magma from inside my chest is about to explode.

Is it…?

Is it what it is…?

Is it really…?

Yohan, it's you… right?

Please be it is…

Please…

Those words are what then filled my mind. They help me calm my rattled mind, but then it would be replaced by another knot to untie.

Ciel: "It's over, finally…"

The giant monster that was supposed to be the reaper of my death was reaped by Ciel. It's now lying on the ground, half of its body on the lake, dead.

Crystallized mist filled the air, surrounding us with a cold and breezy atmosphere. They reflect the light from below the lake, from the Glow Stones. And because of that, I feel like I'm seeing a performance of stars, dancing along with the flow of the calm water.

It's as if it had prepared the stage for the actors… A scene in a movie…

Sparkles all over the place.

Fina: "… U-Uhm…"

My mouth is dry. I want to talk, I want to ask her. I want to bring this feeling out of my chest and clear everything. But I can't speak. I don't know what to say.

I still can't believe what's happening, that's why…!

I feel his arms wrapped around my waist, supporting me from falling down. There I noticed that I was grabbing her clothes with both of my hands, with my staff below us.

Ciel: "… Are you hurt?"

Fina: "… I-I…"

I tried to move my lips to talk, but I noticed the blood from all over her body and the pained expression being painted all over her face.

Instead, I just stood up. She followed by standing up as well, but she's staggering all the while.

Ciel: "That was quite a finale, eh? Ahaha…"

Fina: "…"

I just stared into her eyes, now dyed with their original color. A calm blue.

My heart is beating so fast, I can imagine him hearing it. I placed my hand over it to confirm, but instead, I found my chest heaving from the ragged breathing. I just can't seem to calm down…

It's you… right?

It's you… I know it's you… I want to believe it's you… Please let me believe it's you… I don't know how you knew it was me, but…

If you're not… I don't know what to feel… I just… Please…

Ciel: "… Are you not going to ask something…?"

I was silent all this time, still she broke that silence and asked. She faced the other way, all the while scratching her cheeks with her finger.

… I can't… I just want her to be him… I feel so dazed…

Feeling confused and nervous, I was able to squeeze out the only thing I wanted to say.

Fina: "… Yo… han…?"

Ciel: "…"

He faced me and smiled.

I didn't notice how and when, but 'she' had already turned 'he' in my mind.

Ciel: "… I told you to not make my name sound like a greeting, right? Chloe."

Fina: "…!!"

It's him…. It's really him… It's really him, it's really him…!!

It really is Yohan…!!

I feel the heat that was once inside my chest, now fill my cheeks. My vision blurred from the tears forming in the corners of my eyes, as I can feel my face contort. I covered my face with both of my hands, trying to contain the bursting emotion.

I look at him all over, his hair, his face, his eyes, his lips, his arms, his body, his feet, it's a whole lot different from what I remember…

But it's him… It's really him…!!

Dazed from the overflowing emotions, mixed with confusion and joy, I reach out my hand towards his chest and gripped his clothes. I wanted to confirm that he's really there, that it's just my mind playing a trick on me.

Ciel: "… Mm. I'm here."

He then placed his hands over my head.

I open my lips to speak. But not finding the right words to say, I close them that instant. That repeats for a while, until he… until Yohan closed in to shorten our distance even more.

I felt his cold hands go from my head down to my cheeks. It's cold. It should feel unpleasant… It's cold in here, so it should've made me feel uncomfortable…

But it's nothing like that… Nothing like that, I say… Instead, warmth filled my chest. In contrast to his cold hands, warmth has spread all over my body. I feel the heat rising from my core.

Right then, finally, I felt the tears emerges from my eyes and flowed down my cheeks. But he just wiped them off with his thumb.

Fina: "*sob* Uu… Yohan… Yohan… *sniffle* Yohaaaan…"

That slight gesture was enough to bring a smile to my face. It's tear-filled, but this smile was brought upon a genuine joy. It's as if I felt the whole world's happiness pour all over me.

And… just like when I first met him earlier… We just gazed at each other's eyes, without any words exchanged.

It's more than enough, knowing that he's there.

I held the hand that is placed on my cheeks with both of my hands, savoring the feeling, and taking in every sensation that I feel. I couldn't help but once again smile and let out a soft laugh through my tears.

Ciel: "It seems like I really made you wait, Chloe."

Fina: "Really… *sob* You really did… Idiohan…"

Oh how I've longed to call him that again…

Fina: "I missed you… so much…"

I heaved a relieved sigh and stared at his face again. But maybe because of the exhaustion from the battle earlier, and the relief that I felt from knowing that Yohan is now here with me…

The strength in my body relaxes…

And…

… I fell unconscious.

…

..

.

Chapter End