An Unacceptable Excuse

My head was very light and I staggered a little. I had not seen him in nine years and I had considered meeting him but there he was in my living room, calling my sister Al like he had a right to.

'You don't get to call me that. What are you doing here?' Alicia walked to him.

When they were only a few inches apart, I could see that they looked so much alike. They were both small and their skin had a warm tone in it.

'I came by to say hi. What? A man can't visit his family?' He laughed. I did not understand why he was laughing.

'Your family is not here. You are nine years late Frank. Nine whole years late.' Alicia was not crying nor was she shaking. She was furious but mum was sobbing beside me.

I had no idea what to say. I did not know this Frank guy and I was not sure I wanted to know him. My life was already too complicated and adding him to the mix was a very bad idea.

'Al, come on, cut me some slack. I could not show my face here after what I did to your mum. I had to leave for everyone's sake.' He reached out to touch Alicia but she moved away.

I never knew the reason dad left. All I knew was that he went out one day and never returned.

'Kassy! Oh my Kassy, come here, come and give daddy a hug, oh, I've missed you.' He said.

I did not move from where I was. I tried but my legs were just too heavy. It was probably for the best.

I did not want to have anything to do with the man that made my mum suffer so much just to take care of the children they both made while he was living a free life somewhere.

'You left mum.' I was crying. Not because I had met Frank, I was crying because I could not control my emotions anymore.

I was just as angry as I was sad and tired. Nothing seemed to be going well for me and I was not ready to handle any more surprises.

'I know and I'm sorry.' He was walking to me when he suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked around.

'What is it?' Alicia asked him.

'When you girls came, I picked up three different smells, weren't you with Nate?' I was impressed that he had such a good nose. It was from him that I got my smelling habit.

'That's what I wanted to discuss with you before they came in.' Mum said.

I did not understand why Frank was in our living room. She should have thrown him out the second he got here. He did not deserve mum's audience at all.

He had caused her so much pain and suffering. His money could definitely not buy all the years of labor he made her go through alone. It was strange that she did not want me going after him but she was welcoming him to her house.

Mum sat down and signaled to everyone to do the same. My legs still felt very heavy so I just stood there.

I knew what was coming next. Nate's issues were definitely going to scare off Frank. He was going to think we were pathetic and he was going to leave again, or so I hoped.

'We called you when everything started but you showed no interest whatsoever. Nate is in prison.' Alicia said and walked out of the house.

I wanted to follow her but I also wanted to see Frank's reaction so I stood there, watching his every move. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead and he looked as though he was running out of air.

It seemed weird to me that he had reacted in that way. I expected him to be concerned but it was like he cared from the bottom of his heart.

'Why?' He was staring at mum.

'Why did you leave?' I heard my voice but I was not sure I had actually spoken.

Frank's eyes were deep brown and his glasses made them appear large. His hair looked very soft and it was obvious he had gelled it. His shirt was carton brown and it made his skin appear brighter. I found nothing about him attractive or special. He looked like a regular old man.

He was looking at me and his mouth was slightly open. He said nothing for what seemed like forever. The living room was quiet save for the sound the fan made as it rotated.

I needed him to break the silence but instead, he sat there, staring at me as if trying to remember his reason.

'We're doing just fine without you. Why are you showing up now? Now when we've fully adjusted to your absence. Just leave, we don't need you.' I still could not move. I just kept moving my eyes from one parent to the other.

Frank got up and made it as though he wanted to walk to me but then he sat back down. I could tell he was extremely uncomfortable but that was what I wanted to achieve.

'I lost my job and nothing was going well for me. I had to depend on your mum for everything. I made her work too much just so I could have my basic everyday needs.'

'I got tired of watching her suffer so much so I left. I thought I was doing her a favor by reducing the number of people in her care but I was wrong. I was wrong and I am so so sorry.' He looked at his feet.

It was bad enough that he left but the reason he gave me was anything but valid. He had the option of visiting regularly or just sending paychecks but he chose neither. He just lived his life forgetting he had three children somewhere.

'That's what you'll go with? You had nine years to come up with an excuse and that's what you can think of? You should not be here. We're fine without you.' I walked to my room.

Tears were in my eyes. I did not quite understand why I was crying. I was hurt that he stripped me of the pride that came with having a father around but I was used to it already.

I probably cried because he put mum through a lot even before he left. I sucked my teeth at the memory of me wanting to look for him. He did not deserve any of us, including Nate. I could not wait for him to disappear from our lives once more.