7 Underneath Undulation

It was a stunning moonlit night in the hot and humid beaches of Singapore where silhouetted bodies of lovers and strangers were swaying sensuously to the beat of the song "Underneath It All" by No Doubt. Glaiza let her bikini clad body gyrate to the catchy rhythm as she found herself in a corner near an enormous big rock, with only a few shadowed couples in sight, absorbed in their own sweet reverie. It was a good place to relax and just enjoy the night and the music, far from the maddening crowd.

She and Rhian, along with a Filipino band, and two celebrity lady DJs were invited to a gig in the bustling Asian country. Her actress and racer former co-star was an addition to the list of musical guests, thanks to the persuasive powers and deep pockets of the RaStro Rebels, who will do anything to get the two of them together, heck, they would buy a TV production or station if they could for them, or vote for them as presidents of their country.

After their short performances, it turned into one big and wild party where nobody cared who they were, a very comforting thought to the weary rock artist. She was wearing a red two-piece bikini which accentuated her incredible, tall figure and she could feel the scanty pieces of clothing sticking to her sweat drenched body as she brushed off her bangs to the side of her face and freed her heated forehead. She was lost in her own world, closing her eyes to the captivating beat of reggae music, when suddenly, from her back, she felt two wet but warm hands touch her hips and sway along to her little dance... Then droplets of beach water dripped on her shoulders as strands of long, wet hair rested on her neck and she heard breathy whispers near her ear.

"Don't move... Body shots..." Rhian teasingly uttered as she let her hand move towards the shocked rocker's washboard flat tummy and encircled her waist with her gentle but firm arm and spread a few specs of salt on the side of her neck with her nimble fingers...

Rhian, who looked like a sea goddess wearing a white two-piece, ubersexy bikini, had just emerged from a dip in the rippling sea and was now giving justice to her urge of connecting her tipsy body to the dreamy rocker who was undulating in her naturally appealing way to the beat. Without giving Glaiza any chance to react, Rhian suctioned her parted mouth to the salted portion of the rocker's neck while she dropped the bottle of Tequila to the sand below and used her free arm to trap Glaiza's arms and two hands as the two girls slow-danced to the music of Gwen Stefani and her former band.

"Ummmm.... You... Taste... So. Good."

As her tingling ears heard Rhian breath those words in the middle of marking her carotid artery, Glaiza felt her own lips part and gave out a slow mo.an as she angled her neck to give the racing champ more easy access and raised up her arm to pet Rhian's hair. Her heart was going wild and a surging heat seemed to pulse from all over her body towards her belly as Rhian moved down her hand and let all five digits slip underneath the lower part of her red bikini towards her main target which now seemed to have a mind of its own as it throbbed and moistened in anticipation.

"You want to love me Glaiza, underneath it all. But sssshhhh.... I don't have to hear the truth... I just gotta taste it... taste you..."

Sounds of splashing sea water failed to register on both girl's occupied ears as whitish frothing tide lapped up and collided with the shore. It was a clear moonlit night but inside her closed eyes, Glaiza saw a showering of stars.

"Glaiza, wake up! It's time for church!" Lights flooded the entire bedroom as Glaiza's doting mother, Cristy Galura turned on the switch of the girl's unlocked room and proceeded to spread open the curtains. It was a beautiful day. Glaiza requested her the night before to do what she just did so that they won't be late for their weekly church service which their family try their best to never miss. The rocker usually sleeps late but was very particular about never coming late for anything, be it for work or any gathering she has to attend and thank goodness she has her mom who has dutifully and loyally made sure that she kept those principles over the years.

It was only a dream. They weren't in Singapore. But Rhian's touch was real. It happened a few nights ago during their sleepover which turned out to be a confusing disaster. Glaiza found herself lost in thought instead of listening to the pastor's sermon inside their church. She was still in a trance and even some of her most observant fans had noticed the lack of her usual bursting energy lately. But can they blame her? If they only knew... Glaiza felt like her spirit was being su.cked by a whirlpool of emotions. She was confused, shocked, torn, afraid, embarrassed and most of all hurt.

Her thoughts as of late got even weirder than usual. Not that she was pleased with that, although she had to own up to it and just make the most of the fact that her fans seem to find her eccentricities cool, still it was a trait she would be glad to do without, but that was her and she wanted to accept who she was, no matter what others think, and she's proud of that... but was that all? Or maybe there was still another deeply buried part of her that she had trouble recognizing or accepting? Through TRMD, she finally got recognition but not mainly for her talents, music or hard work but for playing a controversial role. It's hard to finally get noticed but for being whom you are not. Is it real or surreal? But is she really who she is? Did she get the time to look really deep down inside her soul?

She admitted to herself that there were some moments when she thought about girls in a romantic way but she never let those musings continue, or perhaps she just translates them to forms of art and songs. Maybe all human beings think outside their own spectrum like that sometimes, anyway, she was always too busy to find out more... or at least she always finds ways to be busy.

But here comes Rhian who jumbled everything up and turned her perfectly color coordinated Rubik's Cube world into a kaleidoscope. Rhian wasn't like any other girl. And now she knows why. What was Rhian thinking when she did what she did that night? Did she really mean it? That she loved her? But why would she do that if she loved her? Even under normal and non-se.xually muddled up circumstances, what she did was still not the best way to show someone love and respect. But is there really a proper thing to do or rule to follow when it comes to these things?

Glaiza believed so much in love. Love was very important to her, or at least her idea of it. She knew she was the kind who love hard, and hurt much more. So she was grateful of the fact that she has never been head over heels for a guy before or else she wouldn't have been able to reach her dreams but end up like some of her friends who got knocked up early. Also, she always hears from her family and relatives how nice or important (even necessary) it was to get married and in her desire to join the normal club, she kept telling herself or even others that she wanted to get married, have kids and go the usual boring but standard route. But somehow in those fleeting dreams of normalcy, the groom's image always seemed blurry, like a video just being fast-forwarded to the marriage contract and having kids part...

She got in with some wild crowd before, during her rebellious days of joining a band without her parents' permission and she still retains a few of those deeply artistic and nonconventional friends until now. But there were times when she got really sick and realized she needed her real family and now therefore was too afraid to lose them and so she had to abide by their values.

"Repent and bring yourselves to the light of the Lord's love! Release yourselves from the bondage of sin! So many tragedies and atrocities are happening in the world today as we near its end! Do you know why? God is punishing us! He is not pleased with all the murde.rers, adu.lterers, hom.ose.xuals, brother killing brother, wives leaving husbands for another, men engaging in le.wd se.xual acts with their fellow men! Hom.ose.xuality is a sickness, an evil sickness! Is that how you wish to show gratitude to every blessing our father has given? The gift of your own life itself! Ev.ildoers repent! Free yourself from all those bad thoughts and feelings! Cut your hands! Bound your feet! Pull out your eyes if you have to if these things cause you to sin! Free yourself from the wrath of our almighty! FREE YOURSELVES!"

The very convincing pastor raised his powerful voice and let it echo throughout the wide halls of the church, jolting Glaiza's guilt-ridden conscience back to reality. He was really a very nice and gentle man, but he seems to be transformed by the so called power of some holy spiritual force whenever he was on the stage. Just like how Glaiza was mostly quiet and timid but turns into an incredible rocker when she fires up the stage. Their pastor had helped a lot of families including theirs and there were many moments in the past when she was just a young girl struggling in her career that she found herself sleeping in the church after late tapings because she couldn't go home on account of the streets being flooded. She and her family used to live in a very crowded and deprived part of town until she had saved enough from her showbiz earnings to buy them the big mansion that they were living in now.

Rhian on the other hand grew up from a very privileged and influential family. Her dad was a well-to-do foreigner and her mom was even related to the former president of their country. Furthermore, Rhian's mixed roots made her a favorite among the mostly colonial-minded entertainment industry movers and shakers so she was always the darling of the crowd and primary option in modelling contracts. Glaiza thought she was only interested and seem to be fascinated with her co-star in Stairway to Heaven because she admired her and secretly envied the fact that the Western girl had it easy, unlike her who had to practically beg to be given a break.

But why did she always look forward to every taping day with Rhian, especially the parts involving physical confrontation, and why did she find herself deliberately acting more weird than usual in front of Rhian who seemed to bring out the weirdest in her and made her laugh for no valid reason when they were together? And why did she get a pang of sadness when their first soap was coming to an end and a tinge of nervousness years later when she found out that her former co-star was to replace Marian in the new les.bian soap opera they were to do together? Then during TRMD filming, every time they had a dialogue and she had to gaze at Rhian for an insurmountable period of time, she felt like the racer was killing her slowly with her beautiful face, is she even real?

Glaiza got home and went straight up to her room. She had no gig until late that night and so she decided to relax and turn on the TV. A music video was playing. "Take Me To Church" by Hozier. It showed a very disturbing video of two foreign men kissing and running away from an angry mob who were bringing torches and were determined to burn the two "sinners" alive. Glaiza found herself crying and her hand was shaking as she held the remote to turn off the TV and turned to her phone to dial the number of the first friend she could think of in that moment.

Chynna. Her former co-star in TRMD who was very feminine but cheerfully jumped at the chance to cut her hair super short and play the part of a butch les.bian. She admired Chynna's courage and the fact that the similarly deep and artistic girl seemed to have a very healthy and positive approach towards social issues especially involving se.xuality. She actually misses her like-minded crazy friend because they were always hanging out with the other casts during TRMD days but Chynna has been pretty occupied with her musician boyfriend, Kean, lately.

Chynna picks up the phone on the other end.

"Hey, Glai! What's up dork?"

"Hi, Chyns, are you busy? Sorry if I'm disturbing you... I just needed someone to talk to..."

"No, it's okay! Gosh, Glai, are you crying? Stop being so dramatic, geez, gurl you want me to give your head a good knocking? Hahahaaa!!!"

"No..."

"Liar! Lie to your bald grandpa, not to me! Oops, sorry!"

"I was just thinking...."

"Wait, let me guess, about Rhian?"

"How did you...?"

"Oh please, girl, I knew it was only a matter of time before you come to me about this."

Without going into embarrassing details, Glaiza told Chynna the essentials of what transpired during the sleepover as well as her apprehensions while in the church.

"Reli'gious blah, blah... You know, sometimes I wish someone would invent a machine to put in people's throats so that our mouths will still be able to enjoy the taste of any kind of delicious food and all the harmful elements would be strained so it won't get inside and give diseases to the body. How come something that taste so good be bad for your insides? How come something that feels so right be bad for you? Who are they to say that what you feel for another person is wrong? Especially when what you feel is love? Come on Glai, just because I am not a pastor or a priest, doesn't mean that I can't come up with things to say that are more right than what they are saying. It's not like some kind of force came down from above and announced that these people are his representatives, come on, they anointed themselves. I mean I'm not against rel'igious leaders per se, they are needed in the world but, when they go around setting rules by themselves for people to follow blindly, what's up with that?"

Glaiza also told her about how she was almost falling apart and torn over her many detractors from opposite sides on social media, the hom.ophobic majority who condemned her for playing the controversial role and now being rumored as taking it into real life and the resilient L G B T community who wanted her to fight and represent them in their battles.

"It must be hard, Glai and I feel ya. But don't mind them. I read a quote that said protect your enthusiasm from the negativity and fear of others."

"I just don't understand how they still want me to act like Althea, Chyns... even when TRMD is over, many people are still craving and pushing for RaStro. I mean, the first gay themed GMA soap starring Dennis and Tom also created a love team right? TomDen? But now people are leaving them alone and supporting them in their new very straight projects."

"Because, girly, Tom and Dennis were just very good actors playing roles, but you and Rhian, you took it to the next level, the soulmate one, the gives-us-chills-while-watching-you-during-taping type of sheyts. There were a lot of moments when you weren't Jade and Thea anymore, but Rhian and Glaiza sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Like you two really love each other for reals, Glai, guuuurrrl..."

"Oh come on, Chyns! Stop joking around!"

"Oh? So, not yet? I thought you already love each other... Hehehe..."

Glaiza did not respond from the other end.

"Okay Glai, sorry. Seriously, gay or straight or whatever, people can appreciate and even get obsessed with RaStro coz the world doesn't discriminate on a good love story. Love is love!"

"But the world doesn't even know everything going on with me and her!"

"Oh yes, but you and Rhian do have some guesting and minor projects together, right? And people, especially fans, are wise or observant enough to see. A five word love story: Rhian. Glaiza. Eye to eye."

"My goodness, Chyns, you crazy kid! You pull out love from just that?"

"Glaiza my dear friend, your idea of love, between a boy and a girl, your idea of the world is so frea'kin perfect. Perfect in the sense that the government and religious organizations will probably try to find you and give you an award. Heck, you apologize before making a mistake! But I admit you've had your proud moments like for example when you got your tatto'o, escaped with your former band to Baguio without telling your parents, filmed that delicious-looking RaStro kiss and now the secret sleepover. Bravo, amiga!"

"Hah, you're totally crazy, Chynna."

"Glai, without diving into the subject of judging you or whatever se.xuality you label yourself, but you're missing the most important point here... I think you love each other, you're just too afraid to admit it. Stop worrying about others, worry about yourself."

"Honestly though... have you ever had that aching feeling when you're with someone but you can't kiss or touch them in the way you want to? Must be how an ad'dict feels without d'rugs or an alcohol'ic feels when he can't drink... like dying inside..." Glaiza sighed and continued, "But Rhian is straight..."

"You mean straight out of the closet! You just told me she admitted being gay to you!"

"Well, she has a boyfriend... doesn't that make her straight despite what she says?" Glaiza still tried to grasp for a contradicting response although she wavered, thinking that she was losing this battle of wits with the relentless Chynna.

"You mean, she's straight out of options! I mean look at that guys face! Hahaha!"

"My God, Chyns, you are absolutely nuts!" Glaiza tried to stifle a laugh as she continued joking around with her friend on the phone. She was beginning to not regret that she called Chynna.

----

Glaiza was driving alone by herself with the windows down to get some fresh air and process her recent conversation with Chynna when the song "Can't Fight This Feeling" played on the car radio. She remembered the night of the sleepover and she suddenly missed Rhian so much, much more than usual. Then, as she was passing a bookshop, a poster caught her eye. It said, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

The words seemed to light up a long been short-circuited bulb over her head as she finally realized something important. Not only did Rhian's fin.ger went down inside her but it also dug down and uncovered a truth that was long buried deep inside of her. She was in love with Rhian Ramos.

With an emotionally overwhelming rush of passion and determination, she turned the volume up, sang along with the music while slightly banging her head and made a U-Turn... to drive towards the direction of the house sheltering the girl who owns her heart.

---

"Cheer up, Rhi! The one in denial is usually the one who makes up for lost time. So brace yourself for some G-lovin' when she finally realizes what she's missing!" Bianca optimistically told Rhian while they were hanging out in the latter's bedroom as she had been needing some pep talk on account of being quite depressed lately after the sleepover incident.

"You know, you could be right on one aspect. G has this mysterious look, this super raw se.x appeal, which seems to suggest that she would really be amazing in bed if one's got the right key to unlock or unleash the wild beast inside..." Rhian's reflective eyes stared out the window. "But she's straight, Biancs! I can't believe I got straight-zoned! Am I that ugly?"

"Rhian Howell, stop that stup'id insecurity right now or I'll slap a biatch! Not all people who claim to be straight are really straight. Some might be in denial or confused which is most probably the case with G, and some are closeted like your twitchy little b.utt used to be! These things are complicated, I'm sure! Go call her."

"I can't. My pride has been hurt. You know the last thing she told me in the morning before she went home?"

"What?"

"She said (mimicking Glaiza's voice): This is me, Rhian, I do the right thing. What we did last night was wrong."

"Hahaha! But you know what would happen if you two keep up with this silly pride game?"

"What?"

"Nothing! Nothing will happen and that's a shame coz you know what could happen if you do something?"

"What?"

"Everything, Rhian! Everything can happen between the two of you when you step down your ladders of pride and admit you need each other. Sheeesshhh... let me just go the bathroom, but I'll be back so don't you think you're getting away with your slacking!"

While Rhian was left contemplating alone on her affairs of the heart, a loud knock was heard from her door and without further warning, lo and behold, Glaiza came in and walked straight towards her.

"Rhian."

"Glaiza?"

"If this is wrong, then I don't wanna do the right thing anymore!" Glaiza blurted out as she scooped Rhian's face with her hands and went on to give her a deep, passionate kiss.

"Oh my god, Glaiza..." Rhian was just barely recovering her breath as she looked at the rockstar's fervent eyes and saw all the love contained in those two big, adorable molds. Her own body on fire herself, she pulled Glaiza's waist close to her and was just about to return the ardent kiss when her BFF Bianca unexpectedly barged in on them from the bathroom.

"Oh dear, what's this? Oh, I get it! Yes! I knew I still have my magic! I will leave you two lovebirds alone! I will go now but may I just say that I approve all of this okay? And your secret is safe with me. You, go girls!" Bianca exclaimed as she snickered and scrambled quickly out of Rhian's bedroom.

Glaiza could feel her face redden but she didn't get the time to feel embarrassed with what just happened because Rhian was already smoothly pushing her down the bed while kissing her and trying to lift up her crème colored top away from her body. There was something so exciting about the awareness that now they both know how they feel for each other. But Glaiza had to do the right thing one last time before she dived into this profound abyss of uncharted territory. For the second time around, she pushed Rhian away from her but gently this time.

"I'm sorry Rhian, believe me, I feel the same way. But we can't continue what we're about to do if you still have a boyfriend. You entered into a relationship with him so you must end it with him properly and honorably. I can wait, no matter how long it takes... the most important thing is you know how I feel."

Rhian cu.ssed in frustration but agreed. She also tried to desperately explain to Glaiza that her relationship with the guy was more like a business arrangement really... on her side that is... It was convenient for her career as a straight cover-up and Jason was helping her on her car obsession, but he sure ain't helping her with her Glaiza obsession right now. She did love Glaiza, that's unquestionable but she just so happens to be also really lu.sting for the rock diva. She was so frustrated from that thwarted tryst that she wondered if girls also get sick with invisible blue ba.lls.

"Please Glaiiii... Do you wanna wait while I call him and tell him the good news? I mean, bad news for him, that is..."

"No, nooo... you should at least do it personally... make it official..." Glaiza could not help but give out a small laugh as she put her arms around Rhian while they were sitting on her bed.

Rhian scowled as Glaiza tried to smother her with hugs and light face kisses. It was the racer's turn to be upset this time.

----

In the next following days, Rhian tried to break up with her boyfriend without telling him about Glaiza in order to protect both their careers but of course the poor guy refused and tried to beg her for more time and give him a chance to prove himself and work hard so she would truly love him someday. She realized it wasn't that easy, especially when Jason has been nothing but super nice to her, doing everything he could to make her feel like a princess, but if only he knew that she was the kind of princess who was looking for another princess, not a prince. She was also anxious that maybe this particular prince, who also happened to belong to a rich and powerful family, could give her and Glaiza some troubles if he found out the real reason why she is leaving him. But oh prince, what am I supposed to do? I enjoyed kissing her much more than kissing you... Rhian thought.

She tried to explain to her girl and requested her to be patient while never wavering to send her sweet nothings through their only mode of communication for now, Viber chat and midnight phone calls. But the change in both their auras especially Glaiza's was very significant these days. Everything was challenging but they were doing it together. The seemingly publicly dying love team was alive and flourishing privately.

But as the weeks passed by, Rhian seemed to observe that Glaiza was dwindling on her responses and was quite lukewarm towards her in their now fleeting talks on the phone. At first she attributed it to the singer's busier schedule but soon she gathered that her love was losing patience on her promise, no matter how much she tried to clarify that her remaining relationship with her so called boyfriend now just consist of public lunches and racing competitions, and that she was just looking for the right timing to finally give the relentless guy the ultimatum.

Then one night, she got a long message from Glaiza that they should stop all the sweet texting and even se.xting (yes, there is something like that happening! Thirsty ga'ys!) and acting like lovers on chat if she can't officially break up with her boyfriend yet. Wham, foul Whian! Her sister would have to bear with a bit of bankruptcy as she started chugging down the Pedro beers they were trying to sell.

----

However, a few days after that, the lovebirds found themselves in a foursome sort if situation as Glaiza was shooting a project at the Manila hotel along with some other stars including her rumored suitor Ben, while Rhian was having dinner with Jason and some of their friends in the same place. Sparks flew and the air in the hotel restaurant lobby filled with heavy tension as jealous dagger looks were exchanged between the two girls who both looked ravishing that night. Even the best referees and mathematicians in the world can't possibly keep score on which beautiful pair of eyes gave the most intense look of the green-eyed monster.

They were exchanging furtive glances and looking at each other as if they were ready to eat each other up, in rage and in longing. But then, it was time for Rhian and company to go so they just gave each other a very effort-filled, ostensibly friendly nod. After all, the rest of the world only see them as fellow celebrities and former co-stars, and had no idea of the rollercoaster ride their hearts were experiencing. So the others may have just attributed the lights flickering to a power shortage but to Rhian, it was due to the fact that Glaiza's perfect body was so near yet so far to her touch as she passed by.

As the racer tried to drown her sorrows in the comforts of a Game of Thrones rerun when she got home, her phone suddenly rang.

"Rhian, where are you?" There was something different about Glaiza's voice that night. It was sultry.

"Glai? Are you okay? I'm at home now, where are you?"

"Still at the hotel... No, I'm not okay... Rhian, please... I need you... right now."

"You mean...?"

"Yes."

"Well, shiiit. Just wait there, I'll be right over!" Rhian blurted out as she threw a jacket over her pajama-clad body, grabbed her keys and let her Mini Cooper fly and pierce through the cold Manila night air.