Furlough 2

I've been reading books of old

The legends and the myths

Achilles and his gold

Hercules and his gifts

Spider-Man's control

And Batman with his fists

And clearly I don't see myself upon that list

********

"Finally!" Pride declared with a smirk. "We meet!"

When filling out the Catalogue so long ago, I had chosen the former Teen Titan because I honestly admired Raven as a character.

The Raven summoned by the Catalogue to the Mansion had not been a teenager. She had been a version of the superheroine in her mid to late twenties. I only remembered a little of talking with her during her summonings. Most of the conversations I'd had with the women of the Island were lost to the centuries of life. From my impressions, Raven came from a world similar to 'canon.'

If comics had such a thing.

She wasn't a version that assumed ultimate power, became a full-fledged demon, submitted to her father, or even merged with other characters. She was a version of Raven who had been born a half-demon and struggled against her father's influence for her entire life. She had helped found the Teen Titans when the Justice League didn't aid her. From there, she went on to struggle with control of her ever-growing powers, dangerous emotions, and numerous factions seeking to use her for their ends.

She did all this while trying to be a hero.

It is much harder to be a hero when your inner demons are literally demons.

Staring into four red eyes, I knew this was not the woman I was familiar with, though it wore her face.

I took in the changed form of my most reclusive 'wife' with impassive eyes, not letting anything show.

This could be a problem.

"I hadn't known I kept you waiting," I replied impassively, even as I lamented my long-gone wish for a vacation. "Did you talk to my secretary? She should have told you I leave Tuesdays free for any demonic entities. It's not like Tuesdays can get any worse."

"Cute." The way she deadpanned at my words was so much like the Raven I knew that a feeling of uncanniness overcame me.

I realized then what was throwing me off.

It wasn't the four eyes glowing a fiery red.

It wasn't the pointy ears, less elfish like Medea's and more angular like knives.

It wasn't even how her skin was now a light orange rather than the pale grey I was familiar with.

"Your humour hides little from me, Monster," Pride's cruel smile was back. Her four eyes peered up at me as if she could see through my soul by meeting my gaze.

It was that smirk.

That unfamiliar expression on a familiar face.

While I didn't remember much of my conversations with the women while trapped, I had watched them interact for over a year.

That entire time, even when things were at their worst or best, I had never seen the cambion emote more than the slightest twitch in her lips or tightening her eyes. Unlike Ranni's dolls which couldn't emote, Raven's impassivity was derived from an iron-clad control of her emotions.

To see that impassive face twisted in a cruel smirk was disturbing.

Out of all the Family, Raven was the one I spent the most time with since my release. Ever since she had become a Dragon of Shadow, she had only left my side a handful of times, such as when the Family had meals together or when I was getting intimate with someone else. At all other times, she was, quite literally, my shadow.

She was the one I trusted to pull me back when the other 'ordered' me, either by accident or as 'training.'

"Is that anger I feel?" The demon leaned close to me as if to smell me. "No..." she drawled with a teasing grin, meeting my gaze again. "It's fear. How cute."

I snapped my Defences into place.

Before I had gained my Defences, I had never been able to stop Raven's empathy, unlike Emma's telepathy. Since gaining them, I left most of my defences down for the Family as a show of trust. I could pick and choose who could affect me or not through them. If Emma wanted to read my mind, Medea wished to cast a spell on me, or Raven wanted to teleport me, I let them.

The fact that she could sense my emotions gave me critical information. This wasn't a twisted version of this world's Raven. This wasn't a demon of Trigons.

This was MY Raven.

Or at least her body.

This was bad but not unsalvagable.

Now I just needed two more pieces of information, and then I would know what to do.

As a coward, I hated acting with all the info at my fingertips. But, as an egomaniac, I also knew that the proud loved to talk about themselves.

As I stared into those red eyes, I doubted she would be able to stop herself from giving me everything I wanted.

"So, what should I call you?" I asked, my face still impassive.

"I am Pride," she said with... pride. That sounded bad even in my head. But still, that was one piece of the puzzle. This wasn't Trigon speaking through my wife, as he would have bragged about it, but rather a separate being. Just one left. "I am sin. THE Sin. The one from which all others stem." She started to pace around me, a sway to her hips that wanted to draw my eye. I remained fixed, only turning my head to keep her in my vision. "When the morning star fell, it was I who dyed his wings. When Eve stole into the garden and bit the apple, it was I who whispered in her ear."

Was she speaking metaphorically or literally? You could never tell with demons. On the one hand, Raven was less than thirty years old. On the other, Trigon was the closest equivalent of Satan in DC comics barring the Vertigo line of stories. He possibly infused some primordial demon into his offspring to corrupt her and make her more powerful.

"You certainly sound proud of all that." Despite the situation, even though my wife might be possessed by a demon, despite the fact I was trapped alone with a woman who could order me to do literally anything at all, and I wouldn't be able to stop her, I still made the pun.

If there was a hell for dragons of freedom and life, I was going there.

"More humour." She let out a mirthless chuckle, her voice sounding like sex and sin. She continued to circle me, a vulture looking at a tasty morsel. "Your words hide nothing from me, Monster."

She was behind me again, the swish of her cloak audible in the void we stood in.

Pride leaned in, her lips almost to my ear but not touching me.

"I know you," she whispered throatily, her hot breath on my neck. Then she retreated.

I fought not to flinch.

So close, but I had missed my chance.

For a second of frustration, I thought about using my Command Seals. If Pride was in Raven, then she could Order me, but I could do the same to her. I would hate to do it, but I was a coward. My morals came second to my life and freedom, just as they had when I was trapped.

Just because I trusted the Family didn't make me a different person.

As soon as I had the thought, I rejected it.

Not because of the immorality of depriving my wife, even if just her body, of her freedom while we sorted things out.

I dismissed the idea because it wasn't feasible. It was a difference in speed. My chest would glow as I channelled the Seals, and before I could get a word out, Pride would only need to say 'Stop!' and I would lose what opportunities I had.

"I know what lurks behind that facade of kindness, of humour," Pride continued to circle me as she spoke. "You joke, and you laugh because it is all you can do not to cry. To rage. To scream about the unfairness of it all."

"I never was good at the whole crying thing," I said plainly.

"And when the laughter fades?" She asked rhetorically. "What then? The facade of kindness gives way to what you really are. A Monster."

"You sure are taking your time getting to your point," I said, getting impatient. I just needed her to get closer.

That was my victory condition before she tired of her own voice and did something that would strip me of my control.

Even if she did end up controlling my body if I could get the others to destroy it so I could recreate my Avatar and have Amy make it human once more. The only problem would be if they could not access this shadow dimension.

Still, I would rather not abandon my body so easily.

I just got it. I've barely broken it in.

"I was there," Pride continued, unmindful of my words, still out of reach. "When I was summoned after you lost Melina to your own cowardice. I felt your rage, your hate. I didn't need to read your mind to know what you did in those years."

I said nothing.

"How many did you kill?" She purred, behind me again but not close. "How much pain did you inflict upon the world? What slaughter did you wreak upon those innocent of your suffering? All that emotion, boiling up and consuming the world in your vengeful fire. It must have been exquisite." The sheer passion and lust in that last word sent shivers down my spine and blood flowing downward.

What can I say? Being scared didn't mean I couldn't be aroused. Especially when it was the body of Raven speaking such words.

Just because I had a fear boner didn't mean I had forgotten my situation, though.

"Uhuh," I drawled. "And?"

"And I name you my kin," she declared, finally stopping in front of me, looking triumphant. "Like I, you are a demon hiding in plain sight. An abomination in human flesh. A monster. My monster."

If the results of my actions could make me a hero, then my actions themselves made me a monster.

In a similar vein to the rest of the Family earlier when they praised me, nothing she had said was technically wrong, and thus I did not deny her words.

She needed a bit of context, though.

My time of greatest slaughter, violence and rage hadn't been in the Lands Between.

That land had already been torn apart by war. Those relatively peaceful lands like Liurnia and Limgrave hadn't felt my wrath. The already destroyed Faram Azula, the battlefields of Mt. Glemnir, and the bloody swamp of Mogh's domain were where most of my pain had been unleashed.

Even the Haligtree, the most 'peaceful' place I had been to while consumed by my pain at the loss of Melina, was home to warriors, beasts, and the rot infected.

Nobody 'innocent' had been caught in my wake.

What I unleased upon Yharnam, a city of mortals, was so much worse.

But nobody had been around for that. Nobody knew that of a city of over a hundred thousand, less than a hundred had survived to see the sunrise.

When trying to cure cancer, you must tear out all the tumours.

Gehrman had told me a hunter must hunt, and I had heeded his words.

I hunted.

Everything.

In opposition to Djura, who sought to preserve the lives of the beasts in hopes of a cure, I had granted every inhabitant the release of death. I slaughtered my way through the beast plagued, the clerics who spread Blood Ministration, and the scholars who had discovered the Blood.

By the end of the hunt, I had set up a small refugee camp for the non-infected and sane in the forests surrounding Yharnam and burned the rest.

Nothing but ashes remained of the Healing Church, Byrgenworth, or the city itself.

From there, I entered the Chalice dungeons from which it all began. I continued my slaughter downwards, collapsing the structures above me. I would have been entombed there with the remnants of Pthumeru had it not been for my connection to the Hunter's Dream.

If the world ever managed to reach deep enough to the parts of the chalice dungeons I didn't get to, it would be once they had enough technology to reach close to the center of the earth.

Until then, that world was safe from curious scholars trying to elevate humanity at the cost of sanity.

If future generations of that world ever learned of my actions on that night that lasted months, they might call me a hero. They would be able to see that my actions had prevented a plague that could have drowned the world in a tide of corrupted blood and beasts.

To the survivors of Yharnam?

I was the monster in the dark, their worst nightmare made flesh.

A blood-drunk hunter that had carved his way through the bodies of their neighbours and friends. I hadn't cared that a good portion of those I killed had been people lashing out in fear, cruel acts driven by their horrific situation.

Any who took up blade, claw, or fang against me was mercilessly put down.

To a little girl and her older sister, huddled together in a camp I had built for the few innocents I had managed to save, I must have looked like a monster covered in the blood of a city.

I didn't even have the loss of Melina as an excuse. Her death had been over a decade before.

It had been my rage at the situation, enjoyment of combat, and desire to be free, all channelled into ensuring a 'happy end' for a world infected by beings from beyond time and space.

I had channelled my fear of letting Emma into my mind into a heroic result of a monstrous act.

Two sides, the same coin.

A hero and a monster.

I was neither and both.

I was just me.

That was what it meant to be human.

"You're right." Pride knew nothing of my thoughts or of the context she lacked. She didn't know that I felt much more comfortable being called a monster than a hero. Damnation and blasphemy were more familiar than praise and adulation.

All she saw was me nodding my head in agreement.

"Then join me!" She said in triumph, stepping even closer.

Finally, close enough.

"Join me, and we can-"

Her words were cut off as I leaned in and kissed her.

Four red eyes widened as our lips met.

I don't know if she sensed the power of my touch. None of the others reported feeling anything when I Freed them of an outside influence.

I expected four red eyes to become two dark ones. For her ears to return to human shape and her skin to return to its pale hue. I was the prince charming to her sleeping beauty.

I Freed Raven of all negative influences, all possessions and all corruption.

Trigon could hold no influence with her while she touched me.

Nothing changed.

The last piece slid into place.

"Why would I join you?" I asked as I pulled away from her lips with a smile. Pride's four red eyes looked up at me in confusion. "When you are already Mine."

A member of my Family was a tad more evil than I expected? Or at least had an aspect of herself that was?

So what?

"How-"

This time when I kissed the demonic sin that lived in my wife and pulled her close, I channelled not my Element but Sticky Fingers. My hands ghosted over her body, learning exactly what to touch by the way she shivered under my touch.

I wondered briefly what sort of face one of the seven deadly sins would make if I drove her into a pleasurable mess.

I was looking forward to finding out.

As she melted into my touch, demonic red eyes closing in pleasure, my eyes scanned the darkness of this shadow dimension.

My eyes found a patch of black, slightly darker than the rest, and I remained focused on it even as my tongue intertwined with that of the demon.

Raven, the pale-skinned woman I was familiar with, stepped from the shadow. Her eyes were locked on mine, a tiny upturn of her lips the only indication of her satisfaction with the result of the situation she had set up.

I rolled my eyes at her, then focused on introducing Pride to lust.

Let's see if I can corrupt a demon.

********

"Welcome home," I called out from the couch, turning my eyes from my book towards the doorway.

Priscilla, whose floofy tail I had been resting my head on, didn't look away from her game, but she did raise a hand in greeting.

Medea, the cat/dragon, didn't even stir from her position as a bread loaf on my chest.

Sometimes I really wondered if housecats were the most successful hunters of the animal kingdom.

Artoria and Diana took in my decadent image, drowning in fluff, with surprise.

"You did not return to Australia?" The king of knights asked as they entered the room, careful not to impede Priscilla's view.

Floofy dragon she might be, but nobody wanted her to pout at them because she lost a ranked match.

"Change of plans," I shrugged. In protest of my movement, Priscilla's tail tickled my nose. "There were many of those today," I said, ignoring the offending appendage.

They winced.

I sighed.

"I'm not mad," I repeated my earlier statement as I sat up. Medea somehow managed to remain asleep and attached to my chest even though she was now at a ninety-degree angle. "But we do need to talk."

"Where is everyone? Shall I call them?" Diana asked as she took a seat on one of the armchairs.

"The rest are still touring the land down under," I explained. "I'll join them later for the show. This is a good time for Ranni and Melina to spend time with the rest of the Family without me around. And I needed to talk to you two, not them anyway."

"Then I shall see to the children and give thee thy privacy," Priscilla said as she won her match and stood. She pried Medea from my chest, the cat finally waking up to see what had disturbed her, saw the crossbreed, and went back to sleep.

It was a good thing this damn cat was so cute.

"Before anything else," I said once the hybrid had left the room. "How did things go?"

"It went well," Artoria said from her own seat. We weren't far apart, but there was an awkward shuffling to their movements. I fought the urge to sigh again. This was coming out all wrong. "They had many questions."

"I would too if a gender-bent King Arthur and extradimensional twin showed up out of nowhere," I said with a smile, trying to ease their tension.

"I answered what I could," Diana elaborated. "I tried to steer clear of anything about the Family, focusing more on my own experiences in my homeworld. They had questions about Doomsday and other villains, as well as their counterparts from my dimension. I could only answer some of them due to being unfamiliar with Emma's world and the novel. They were still on guard, but I believe we will be able to work together without issue."

"That's good. And your counterpart? How are you handling it?"

"This is not the first time I've dealt with other versions of myself," Wonder Woman said with a chuckle. "Separate timelines, other dimensions, evil clones, and even myself from the future. There are few situations I have yet to encounter before. This version of myself is less experienced than I am and still needs to learn how to deal with these situations. Especially given our... relationship."

"Will she be a problem?" I asked, brow furrowed in worry. As it was, this worlds Diana was already gaining Insight from being close to me, and I had no way to stop it.

"Not likely," Diana shook her head. "We are meeting her tomorrow for brunch, then she will show us to the Hall of Justice. It is quite late on this side of the world, so they would like to reconvene with their other members in the morning."

"Have fun," I said with a smirk. Likely this world's Batman would be there, as well as others that hadn't been able to fight Doomsday, and they would be bombarded by a bunch of questions. "How about you, Artoria? Anything of interest?"

"It seems all those who bear the name Myrrdin are cursed to cause me trouble," she said with the smallest of frowns. "While this version is less of a pervert than my court mage, he inundated me with questions and would not let me talk to the other heroes until I had signed almost every part of his costume. Then he proceeded to inquire about my relationship with you. Repeatedly."

I snorted out a laugh, which caused the blonde to pout at me.

"He's a fanboy," I said with a giggle. Even Diana was smiling at her friend behind a hand. "I bet he has every single movie about you and your knights ever produced. Next time you see him, he'll be carrying around a bunch of paraphernalia for you to sign. He'll build a shrine out of everything you ever touch. He'll attack me on sight for daring to sully the king." I pantomimed, holding up an epee as if challenging someone to a duel. "To defend your honour!"

"What?" Artoria looked repulsed by my words. She was used to the crowd's adulation, being king and all, but she was wholly unprepared for modern fan culture.

Then I understood the ramifications of our situation, and my laughter died.

"There's going to be merchandise," I said with my eyes wide in realization. "Now that we are a known quantity to the world, and they know we aren't going around killing everyone or something, there's going to be a bunch of merchandise about us. Shirts. Toys. Plushies. Body Pillows." With every word that left my mouth, I felt the horror rise.

Maybe there was still time to destroy the earth?

"The fans can be insistent," Diana nodded, unbothered by my words. "A few creations can be of good quality, but sometimes they go too far. The League left such matters to Bruce, who ensured things did not go out of control and channelled the funds back to us to fund our operations."

"Oh god," I whispered, still staring at nothing. "There's going to be panties with my face on them, isn't there?"

"Mikael plushies?" Artoria murmured to herself, eyes as vacant as my own but for entirely different reasons.

Oi! Can't you see this is a serious situation, woman! This is the end of the world as we know it!

"I need to talk with Emma later," I said with determination. "Like all evil, we must smother it in the cradle before it can grow out of control and destroy our lives."

"You are exaggerating," Diana huffed with a roll of her eyes.

"You say that now, but I bet you'll be singing a different tune once there are Pricilla-shaped sex dolls on the market," I insisted.

"We cannot allow even one to exist!" Artoria declared imperiously, and Diana nodded just as seriously.

We would not allow the corruption of capitalism to taint our wholesome floof!

As a dyed-in-the-wool capitalist myself, I understood the appeal of the mountains of money one could gain from the truth of 'cute is justice.'

But not with my cinnamon roll of a dragon!

"Anyway," I shook my head, clearing my thoughts on purging the world of its sin and returning to the actual topic. "Anything else?"

"Nothing of import today," the knightess shook her head. "As I said, Myrrdin occupied most of my time. The only thing to note was that they know I am not from this dimension."

"Eh," I shrugged, uncaring. "Going forward, they should assume we are all not native to this reality. It's what I would do when I realized Diana existed. I expect they'll piece together who Raven is pretty easily after what happened with Strange. I would ask you not to bring her up for at least a week if you can help it."

"How come?" Artoria asked.

"She asked me to do something for her," I shrugged. "It isn't that big a deal, though do let the heroes know when you see them tomorrow that Scathach, Glynda and I will be spending the next few days in San Fransico and will probably spend some time with the PRT East by Southeast team."

"To what end?"

"The former Teen Titans that make up that team include Raven's native counterpart," I explained. "Raven asked me for a favour regarding her younger self, and I promised Scathach a fun time, so I am killing a few birds with one stone."

"What sort of 'fun time?'" Diana asked warily, well aware of the Celt's preferences.

Nothing the scarlet-haired woman enjoyed could be considered 'family friendly.'

"Nothing that bad," I rolled my eyes. "She and Glynda will mostly be there for cover. We'll use her desire to find 'students' as an excuse."

"You wish us to lie to the league?" Diana asked with a slight frown at the idea.

"It won't be a lie," I explained. "We will be training them, so long as they accept. Which they will, if only to spy on us. Nightwing, the leader of that team, is even one of those Scathach was interested in testing before Raven even asked me for the favour. Technically the truth is the best kind of truth."

"What is the favour? And how dangerous will it be?" Artoria asked.

"Slightly dangerous, only not really," I said, shaking my hand back and forth in a 'so-so' gesture. "Strictly speaking, it only needs Raven and me. Glynda and Scathach are honestly overkill. We are just protecting her younger self through a difficult time. I can summon any six of you at a moment's notice if anything goes wrong using the seals. I might do so anyway, if only because I think overkill is underrated."

"If you are certain, we will do as you requested," Artoria nodded. "I urge you to call for us if things look dire."

"Since I have been Free, when have I tried to do anything on my own? Or with anything less than the utmost caution. Unlike you two." I sighed, finally getting to the main subject. "I have to ask; what were you two thinking?" The words came out harsher than I intended. Judging by the pair's narrowed eyes, they hadn't taken it the best either.

"What do you mean?" Diana asked.

"Just that," I said more softly, not wanting this to become an argument. "I am trying to understand your thought process. A few weeks ago, I said I would support you all. I stand by that, even if you want to be heroes again. But I also asked you to communicate if you were going to do things that might negatively affect the Family. So I am trying to understand why you did the things you did? Walk me through your thought process."

"We were having lunch when we were alerted to Doomsday's approach," Artoria recounted. "Its last revival was caught on camera, and Diana was aware of its abilities from her home world. Since we feared causing too much destruction, we opted to use your armoury rather than transform or unleash Rhongomyniad. Medea has told me before of the nature of your weapons, and we hoped one of them would lay the beast to rest for good."

"There!" I exclaimed as I pointed at the blonde. Both women half jumped at my interjection. "That right there is what I don't get. I understand not wanting Priscilla involved. I didn't, either. I understand trying to use my weapons and have no problem if you're going to borrow them. In the end, one of them did work, even if it wasn't one I left behind. What I don't understand is why you didn't ask me which weapons could work. Even if Emma couldn't reach me on the other side of the planet, a simple text message or call could do the trick."

"There was no time," Diana explained with a frown. "As far as we were aware, you were engaged with other heroes and would not have answered if we did try to reach you. We could not wait for that when every second could be a life lost."

"So you thought the best idea was to rush in and hit it till it died? What were you going to do when none of those weapons worked" I asked rhetorically. When they looked about to interject, I plowed on. "How long was it between realizing Doomsday was near and engaging him? A minute? Two?"

"A few minutes," Artoria interjected. "I summoned Dun Stallion, returned home to grab your armoury and back."

"We are not stupid, Mikael," Diana was annoyed at my questioning. I could tell. "Should nothing have worked, we would have transformed and turned Doomsday to dust."

Tough.

Just as I needed to understand them, they needed to understand me.

That was the only way this Family would survive in worlds where multiverse-level destruction is common.

"Then why didn't you do that right away?" I asked. "You grab him, and Artoria blasts him. A bit flashy, sure, but it would have worked."

"You were the one who asked us to remain discreet!" Diana responded, pointing at me accusingly.

The conversation was getting heated despite my intent.

Even Artoria was now looking at me in displeasure, my words appearing more accusational than I intended.

They just weren't getting it.

"I like secrecy because it keeps us safe! If it comes down to keeping a secret and risking your lives or becoming the flashiest bastard on the planet, I would prefer the latter. None of that changes the fact you didn't even try to ask us for help. We all could have come up with a plan together."

"You would have us wait?" Artoria asked, incredulous. "While people died, you would have us stand back and cower until we have a plan?"

"Yes!"

The pair recoiled from my shout as if struck, surprised at my vehemence and tone.

Then the surprise was gone and in their eyes was disappointment.

I was surprised by how much that look hurt.

We were in a fortunate position where there was nothing we couldn't run away from by moving to another universe. We did not have a home we needed to worry about. All we needed to worry about was the people of that home. They needed to understand that.

"Mikael-" Artoria started to say, the title gone from in front of my name.

I cut her off, willing them to understand where I was coming from.

"You fought Doomsday for a minute and had a hole torn through you. You would have died if it weren't for Avalon." I said to Artoria before turning to Diana. "You fought him with Aura, your Semblance, and Haki. All abilities you never had in your home world on top of weapons made from the souls of gods. And you were still losing. Putting up a good fight, sure, but losing. We won without sacrificing a good portion of the USA as collateral damage because the rest of us were sitting back and planning contingencies. What would have happened if we weren't there? If I hadn't been curious about why the Flash ran off? We took a gamble with the Godslaying Blade, and it could have easily failed."

"We still would have slayed the beast!" Artoria insisted, standing up from her seat and looking into my eyes.

When had I stood up?

"How would you act if one of your Knights tried to fight Vortigern with a weapon they weren't sure would work?" I asked. "Or someone attacked Apokolips on a whim? These are not actions we can take without ensuring our safety."

"Your concern is warranted," Diana acknowledged steadily, rising from her own chair. "However, we do not always have the luxury of a plan, of time. We had knowledge from my world, as well as footage from this one. We acted based on what we knew. Was it the perfect plan? No. But it was one built on solid foundations. Quick action can be the difference between life and death for the innocent."

"Then let them die!" I snarled.

When they recoiled this time, the disappointment was even more pronounced. Despite how much that hurt to look at, the other emotion I saw there was so much worse.

Fear.

Looking down, I saw why.

My human form, so dearly gained, was starting to unravel. Fin-like blades poked from skin that felt too tight on me. Blood welled up from the wounds, ruining my clothes. My limbs felt bound like I was wearing a shirt with no sleeves.

The human mask I wore was slipping away from my desire for them to understand my fear and concern for them.

Pride had not been wrong to call me a monster.

She just didn't know what kind I was.

I could shed this fragile shell and assume my real form with but a flex of my will.

I resisted the urge, calling upon the memories to refocus on what made me who I was.

My body returned to its standard form. The holes in my flesh healed in a moment as my magic went to work repairing my form. I would still need to clean up a bit before meeting the others, but I no longer looked like an eldritch abomination stuffed into a meat suit six sizes too small.

I sagged back onto the couch, suddenly feeling drained.

So much had happened so quickly that I was surprised that it was only a few hours ago that we were all having a meal together before we went to confront the heroes on the outskirts of Sydney.

Man, nothing went to plan today.

"If it ever came to it, I would rather you left people to die rather than risk your life," I said softly. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, not looking at them.

I didn't want to know what their eyes looked like right now.

"You know we cannot do that," Diana said just as softly, but there was no mistaking the conviction and her tone. There would be no changing their mind, I knew. "Even if we die, did you not purchase an ability to bring us back? Warranty, I believe?"

"The Company already screwed me over," I responded, still rubbing my eyes. "I am not going to entrust any of our lives to them. There are beings here that destroy souls, so I wouldn't even be able to use my abilities from Death to bring you back. We cannot act like we are immortal. Too many heroes and villains die because they are overconfident. I am powerful, possibly the strongest on this planet, but I am nowhere near some of the beings in this universe, let alone the multiverse we will explore.

Even if I had proof the Warranty worked, which I don't, I still wouldn't want to risk any of your lives. It doesn't matter if I see it work a billion times. It only needs to fail once for me to lose you forever. Even if everything worked perfectly, there would still be three days of worry where I wouldn't know if you were coming back. I would much rather destroy a world than go through that."

"Is that what this is truly about, Sir Mikael?" Artoria asked. "I know you. You are not the type of man who would leave the innocent to suffer if you could do anything about it."

"That is just it," I said, finally opening my eyes and meeting theirs. Green flicked with gold, and dark blue looked at me with concern, and my gut twisted. "If I can do anything about it is the key. I have two rules I stick to whenever I want to do anything heroic. How does it inconvenience me? What do I get out of it? Everything falls into those two categories. Even if I only get satisfaction, sometimes that is worth more than the inconvenience. I don't mind a risk if the rewards are proportional. Call me selfish if you wish, but nothing is worth risking any of you."

"I do not think that is selfish," Diana disagreed as she sat beside me on the couch. "One does not need to be a hero to be a good man."

"Did I ever tell you why I hate being called a hero?" I asked, trying one final tactic.

"Not to me," Artoria said, and Wonder Woman shook her head.

"It's because heroes do not get happy endings."

I could see them contemplate my words, trying to parse the implications.

"How many heroes do you know that retired?" I asked Diana, trying to get them to understand where this was all coming from.

"There have been a few," she nodded. "It was rare, but a few hung up their costume."

"And of those rare few, how many actually stayed retired? How many died happy, surrounded by their family and friends?" I could see how she struggled to think of an example. "How many tried to retire only to be pulled back in by the next crisis? Or an old enemy? How many died from a life they could not leave behind? From a conscience that would not let them ignore a fight, they couldn't win in the name of the 'innocent?'"

"Too many," Diana nodded gravely, finally understanding where I was coming from.

"Even if we ignore superheroes and villains," I turned to Artoria now, trying to put things from her own perspective. "If we look at heroes in the classic sense, the picture gets even worse. In the Throne of Heroes, a record of heroes from the past and the future, how many died happy deaths?"

"Some, but they were one in a million."

"And how many of them buried friends and family that were taken because of their heroism."

Neither said anything.

No hero hadn't tasted tragedy.

Even though they agreed with me and understood my fear and concern, I could see that my words would not dissuade them. The odds were against them ever finding happiness.

A hero never knows peace. A hero gives and gives and gives and gives.

Eventually, they have nothing left to give.

"You know that we cannot stop," Diana said softly, intertwining her fingers with mine. "We would not be able to forgive ourselves if we did, and we would not be the women you fell in love with either."

Despite all that, they would continue to do what they thought was right.

That is what it means to be a hero.

I sincerely admire people like that.

I could never be a hero.

"I wasn't trying to get you to stop," I said, rubbing my thumb against the back of her hand. "I just want you guys to understand the risks. Understand that I can never be a hero."

"What of those you aided during your travels?" Artoria asked, sitting on my other side. "Emma has told us what you did to help the natives of those lands. Those were not the actions of a selfish man."

"The inconvenience was worth the satisfaction of getting them their happy ending," I shrugged my shoulders. "All it cost me was time, which I had in an infinite supply, and a bit of pain. No great cost. If I had thought that helping them would cause me to go hollow or prevent me from escaping, I would not have done so. It is easy to be generous when you are rich."

"But it isn't," Diana shook her head. "Just because one is wealthy does not mean they will share with those less fortunate. I have seen billionaires spare not a cent for a begar. You help when you can. That is more than most."

"You care," Artoria emphasized. "For us. For the Family. For a cat you could have left behind. For people you could have ignored but chose to help anyway. For worlds that were not your own. When I call you Sir Mikael and say I would welcome you as one of my finest Knights, it is not because you are a hero. It is not because of your strength of arms. It is your humanity. After all you have gone through, all the suffering, hardship and loss, you retained your humanity. You still care."

"What this family needs is not another hero," Diana continued. "We do not need a dragon, a god, or even a leader. What we need is someone who cares. Someone we can turn to for aid. Someone we can lean on and who will hold us when we come home. We did not fall in love with Mikael the Dragon. Or the Elden Lord. I fell in love with a man. A flawed, scared but good man."

"Trust us to be heroes. Trust us to come home to you," Artoria finally said. "And we will trust you to fight for our happy ending."

"Then work with me," I hated how much my words sounded like a plea. "No more going off half-cocked. You don't need to call me every two-bit burglar, but if you think there is even a little threat to your lives, I want you to call me."

"I can agree to communicate more, but that seems excessive," Diana frowned.

"It isn't," I denied plainly. "Don't get me wrong. You two can take care of yourselves. You can kick my ass up and down the Island all day, and all I can do to stop it is blow up the Island itself. It is precisely that reason I want you to call me. If I can't help you, then I'll be able to summon someone who can. Even if all I can do is channel my power to you, anybody who can threaten you is someone we should face as a family."

"Very well," Artoria nodded. "Even if only for your peace of mind, I can promise to try and reach out if I feel at risk. I might only sometimes be able to, depending on the circumstance, but I shall make an attempt." Diana nodded as well, though a bit more begrudgingly.

"Good," I said with finality as I stood up. The conversation hadn't gone as planned, just like everything else today, but that promise was the main thing I wanted out of this conversation. If they were going to be heroes, I needed to minimize what risks I could and being informed as fast as possible was the best way to do that. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a shower and a change. I have a hot date with the rest of the family, and I'm sure you two have your own plans."

I left them to talk in that living room.

I didn't find the situation ideal, but we were at a point where I could live with it.

If I ever found out they didn't call me or were truly at risk, I would summon them away from danger.

Innocent lives or other heroes be damned.

I wasn't losing anyone ever again.