Chapter 5

5. Double Trouble Maker

I hadn't left my house for the rest of that day, but by the time night eased off into early morning, I felt the irresistible urge to go out for a walk. The dark hours had been a bit confusing. I couldn't tell if I was dozing, awake, or simply thrashing around in a semi-conscious state. It was hard to tell, especially as my room was pitch black until pretty much the crack of dawn. Only then did I wonder where the heck all that time had gone to. With a heave, I got up, straightening out to my full height. Feeling a bit bleary, I realized that all I needed right now was some fresh air. So without further ado, I slipped out of my door and into the vast expanses of cloud outside.

It must have been very early indeed, because I did not see anyone up or about yet, and the sky was only just turning pale blue. I soon found myself heading to the edge of Heavenly Valley, which is technically only a fraction of what lies beyond. Miles upon miles of clouds stretch out from the occupied centre –the rest is completely empty. Think Sahara, but taking up most of the sky. And where Sahara is sand, this desert is all water. Billions upon trillions of condensed water particles... Oh, and it's moving. Always, constantly moving.

So, now that this image is in your mind, picture me standing in it. At the edge of civilization. As I padded along one of the paths, I simply enjoyed the sensations, as this moisture sunk and squelched with every step. Unlike some, I don't forget to appreciate the simple things in life. The beautiful rays of early sun, the cool breezes that blow straight through me, just the feeling of being light and free in general. In fact, it's thanks to this lightness that we are able to walk across these clouds at all, besides creating the appropriate material to build our houses and social spaces from. You could think of the Valley as an oasis in the centre of a sprawling desert, whose inhabitants rarely strayed far from. That said, it's not exactly a bustling mega city either, as there is always enough space for everyone to be happy and comfortable, without having to go high-rise. The only thing you could really consider 'high,' is the Temple of God, because it is at the very heart of our Valley, and therefore all the main areas are based around it. But that temple has like. a thousand steps. Maybe two. Probably one for every year that God has spent asleep. It's so far up, there is a second layer of clouds permanently hiding it from view, so what the place is like is as much of a mystery as what God himself is...

Anyway, there is a whole wilderness out there, interrupted only occasionally by birds who break through the high, fluffy layer. And it's mostly flat. One big, flat plane. Not that I've ever left the settlement to know for myself, nor needed nor wanted to. I mean, why would you want to? There is absolutely nothing to do nor any landmarks to recognize if –when –you get lost.

There is no doubt whatsoever that you will get lost, and I do not fancy crying for help if such a thing happened. In other words, I'd got the fresh air I wanted, so now time to go back. I did not count how long I stood there, for time had lost its meaning now that I no longer had responsibilities or places to rush to. Although when I looked up to check where the sun was, it slightly shocked me to find it now shining on my back, as if trying to creep up in a game of sly fox. Oh. So I have been a while.

Turning back towards the settlement, my presumption was confirmed. Angels were up and about, doing their daily business –more than what there were when I first set out. Though these were only the outskirts of Heavenly Valley; it would be busier in the centre. At least I didn't have to go there today! As I passed, I noticed some familiar faces. Not wanting to show my inner despair, I said hello in the friendliest voice I could muster.

Only to be met by a cold shoulder.

"Good... morning?"

Sometimes, I don't know what's worse –for someone to pretend not to hear you, or not hear you in the first place. I didn't let it ruin my day, though (which wasn't that great to start with) bearing in mind I hadn't always been the politest in my neighbourhood myself. Although as I walked on, I couldn't not notice the way my fellow angels were now trying to act as if I wasn't there. My journey home took a good ten minutes, so it wasn't just a one-off encounter that went oddly –it was all of them. And it began to worry me. One of the downsides of having a spirit body is that any negative emotion has a bad effect on you. Even the slightest niggle of fear, jealousy or guilt is enough to weigh down your heart like a rock. So much for my sense of freedom. I passed more and more neighbours, receiving more and more funny looks –or worse, the backs of heads. I couldn't hold back any longer and stepped right in front of one, so that interaction would be unavoidable.

The angel tried to side-step me, but I quickly managed to block him before I could go any further. I could see it was putting him in distress, as he hunched over and tried to hide his face. But I knew that if I was to get anywhere, I could not give in.

The angel mumbled a barely audible "Excuse me," to which I firmly replied "What is being said about me?"

When his eyes finally met mine, I could tell he was intensely uncomfortable. It was not anyone I knew, although it was quite clear from the situation that I was the strong-willed one here, so it was only a matter of time before his shell broke. Plus I was taller. That might help.

"I'd like to know what's being said about me," I repeated "Please."

The angel mumbled something else and tried to escape again, which I only managed to stop by staring hard.

"Can you please just tell me?"

"Nemesis…" he began awkwardly.

"Yes, I know my name, I don't need to be reminded."

"Um, of course, sorry."

I gestured for him to continue, doing all I could not to clobber him on the head.

"We –as in, the community –we don't appreciate what you have done. So, if you don't mind, I need to be off."

If that nob thought that leaving me with such a cliff-hanger would make me lay off, then he was very deeply mistaken. I was literally bursting from frustration and grabbed him before he was able to slip off. "What I've done? What have I done? You can't just expect me to know!" I took a pause before continuing. "Look. All I ask of you is that you be forthcoming with me. Is that really so much to ask?"

From the look in his eyes, it was obvious he seemed to think so.

"Please," I begged. "I don't understand what everyone seems to think is wrong with me! Can you just put me out of my misery and explain?

I wasn't sure where these last words came from, but they certainly seemed to pull on the heartstrings. He shook his head in despair. "Oh, Nemesis, how can you not understand? Don't you remember what you did last Sabbath?"

Now that got me puzzled. Last Sabbath? What did I do back then, that was so awful? I wracked my brain for answers.

"Dear-oh-dear," he shook his head again.

Last Sabbath… Come on, it wasn't that long ago… Finally, it came to me. Polly. Ethel. I'd raided a house. Dear-oh-dear was right! "Oh." I hadn't the capacity to say anything else. It was all summed up so perfectly in that one, emphatic Oh.

The angel became very restless once he had gathered that I now realized what he was on about. "I am sorry, Nemesis, but I am busy at the moment and you are really holding me up right now-" He stuttered, trying to think of what else to add, before discovering that there was no need to bother, when escape was a much easier option. This time, I gave up on trying to hold back the desperate angel, being in too much of a shock by what he had made me remember. Being a vandal is obviously punishable, but personally, it would not call it a reason to ignore someone altogether. Was it thanks to Polly that every soul had turned against me? It certainly wasn't beyond her. I sighed. This was just an issue that would have to pass… In retrospect, I realize how little I knew back then. Even the fact that I wasn't so strong-willed, after all.

Daniki ended up at her friend's house once again. There really wasn't any other option, after the way things had turned. Having spilled out the entire story to Gaëlle, in a torrent of tears, Daniki finally calmed down in order to leave herself open to advice. Gaëlle had almost become a mother figure to her, which they both noticed and felt slightly uncomfortable about.

"Aw, come here, Dani," she spread her arms out wide. She let Daniki sniffle into her breast as she patted her on the back.

"So how can I go ahead and plan a wedding now? He doesn't even like me anymore!"

Gaëlle carried on comforting her friend, thinking all the while.

"Don't, then," she eventually came out with.

Daniki paused. She looked up at Gaëlle, confused. "What –do you –mean?"

Her friend continued calmly. "What I mean is… don't do it! Don't waste your time and energy trying to win back someone who doesn't really care for you. If Karma is as shallow as you say he is, then how can he be worth the trouble? Just leave it. Maybe when you are gone, he might just realize what he's missing."

This wasn't an idea that had occurred to Daniki before. In fact, it sounded wild, almost traitorous. "I-I'm not sure if I can do that," she trailed off. It didn't matter, though. They both understood.

"Of course, I know it must be hard for you, but sometimes, there is not much choice. You would only be wearing yourself out over a hopeless situation, by carrying on chasing Karma. You'll just have to make that move, eh?" Gaëlle smiled reassuringly.

Half-heartedly, Daniki nodded. "I guess so…"

The pair shuffled closer together again, needing each other's support. "Poor you," Gaëlle went on in a softer tone. "It's so hard. Matters of the heart are always worst. Why you, though? Why you?" The two sat together, both huddled up, rocking back and forth until the sadness wore away.

The biggest surprize came when I returned to my house. Even as it appeared into view, I could tell it wasn't quite as I'd left it. Firstly, the door was wide open, as if someone had tried to barge in. It was very disconcerting, urging me to hurry along. The stone in my heart grew heavier and harder to carry. Surely not? They wouldn't vandalize my house back... would they?

I puffed towards my threshold, dread rising like a hot air balloon. When at last I entered, the sight of what happened left me numb all over. Because where I expected to find destruction and ruin, all I found was emptiness. Whoever had been here had literally stripped my house clean –furniture, decoration, flooring –nothing left behind. I'll admit, I never had much clutter in the first place, but still... how could this happen so fast? What scared me most was the uncertainty. Uncertainty of who did this. Of why they had waited for me to go out first. Of where I was to be moved next. I stepped warily through what was once my home, now no more than a bare shell, not knowing what to make of it. The white seemed to glare in my face, laughing at me. I passed through what few rooms I had, just to prove to myself that they'd all had the same treatment... They had. Oh, shite. What have I got myself into?

As I was about to reach my bedroom, my knees decided that they were not prepared to take any more of this, meaning I soon found myself sinking to the floor. What would I do –run to the archangels and cry out all my woes to them? Like someone would pity me, the guilty one. No, this was hopeless. No one would listen.

Wrapped up in my storm of emotions, I never noticed the sounds of shuffling, the footsteps in my room. Until two large, sturdy feet stepped up in front of my nose. Momentarily stunned, I slowly dragged my eyes off the floor, up towards the intruder's face. I never even got the opportunity to consider springing up and slapping the wits out of them. Nuh uh, I realized on time, thankfully, that this was perhaps the worst idea to ever come to mind. Looming above me was Michael himself, and boy, was he angry. Nervously, I rose to my feet, until we were level.

"Need I explain?" he gestured at our surroundings.

I had to think a moment. "Sort of..."

"Sort of," he mimicked, exasperated. "What exactly do you need explaining, Nemesis?"

"About... about... everything!" I sounded stupid, and we both knew it. I just couldn't seem to find the right words to say. "Look, I don't know," I winced, as Michael raised his eyebrows questioningly. We were not bothering with formalities anymore, though I don't think he was expecting them anyway. "This was all so sudden," I continued "One minute, I was doing my job and searching for a new charge, then the next, nobody wants to know me!" I decided not to mention the fact that 'searching for a new charge' actually meant 'creating a scene in the Grand Hall in front of the council.' I hoped that Michael was not aware of this. He simply rolled his eyes, which was surprizing in itself.

"You don't learn, do you?"

"Huh?"

"There is no need to act so innocent, either. This is not the first time you have caused trouble around here, and you know full-well what I mean."

It would be foolish to deny that, so instead, I said. "Remind me."

"Remind you? How about... the pranks you used to play as a child. You loved to make fun out of hiding things from the elders and calling them names. Remember that?"

I couldn't help protesting. "But I was only a child-"

"Old enough to know better!" he snapped back, quickly shutting me up. "Then there was the time when you let off a stink bomb in the pools of relaxation. Perhaps you forgot that one as well?"

An unwanted snigger escaped my mouth. "I thought that was funny," I said, daftly. It would have been better not to say anything at all.

"Yes," Michael said, dripping with sarcasm. "You thought it was funny. So did the two hundred other souls who wanted to bathe that day, but had to wait until the next while all the sulphur was cleaned out." The archangel was clearly doing his utmost to make me squirm on the inside –and he wasn't exactly failing at it. I had never known any of the head angels to act like this, so it was a tad frightening. "I have also heard that you targeted Lady Ethel before. What was it, parading around in front of your mates with pillows stuffed down your top, hobbling and hooting in 'her' voice? Am I correct?

I must have visibly faded on the spot. How could he have known that? Had someone reported me to the council before, or did they somehow know anyway? Whatever the case, it sent shivers down my spine.

"Now then, is that sufficient reminding, or do you need more examples?"

I shook my head, as the rest of me shook of its own accord. "N-n-n-no."

"Are you sure this is enough? Because you do not seem to have grown from your mistakes. You only went out and wrecked another citizen's living space. How would you have felt if it had been your house, eh? How would you have felt?"

My lips moved, but I had difficulty getting any words out. "I-g-guess I-under-stand now."

I hoped Michael would calm down. No such luck. "Oh really? You understand now," he said in mock surprize. "And yet you thought you could get away with lying about searching for a new job, when really you were diving head-on into a speech about all the woes of being a guardian."

I gasped. Not so much from finding out that he knew about that, too, than from my own stupidity of thinking that I could hide something from God's chief representative. I still couldn't get over the fact that Michael had chosen to come here in person.,. alone, and standing right inside my house! Except rather than being an honour, I was in for a major punishment.

"I hope this explains why we have chosen to do this," he concluded.

I was left with goosebumps. "What do you mean by... this?"

"Oh, I thought someone would have told you by now," he finally ditched the sarcasm -only to replace it with tension. "The council has known about your deeds for a long time now, but our philosophy before has always been to forgive. You, however, have crossed the line between what is acceptable and what is not. So when Miss Polly came to tell us of your most recent antics, we eventually decided..."

No! Don't pause there, or I'll burst!

"We decided that you, Nemesis, are no longer fit for heaven, and are to be exiled for the foreseeable future."

This time, I really did freeze over, as I stared into Michael's eyes. It seemed to creep him out a bit, as he had to shift my attention to something else. He dug into one of his many secret pockets in the folds of his tunic, bringing out a small wooden figure. It did catch my interest, noticing that it was in the shape of a simplistic, nativity-age angel in a lilac robe.

"This," he told me "Contains a very special object." Michael pulled the two ends apart to reveal a tiny lilac egg, which he placed into the palm of my hand. It rested there, delicately, in the dip at its centre. As if he was able to read my thoughts (which, of late, I had a growing suspicion that he could) he added. "It may be small, but it is very potent. Keep this egg safe while you are in the human world, because you need only to swallow it, and you will regain all of your powers. I hope you can appreciate how valuable our gift is. It is a chance to return to your former shape, should the need be great enough. But be warned. There is only one egg, and its effects only last for one sun and one moon cycle. Use it wisely."

My fears had been confirmed: they were sending me to live on the Earth, so I didn't get why it made me so afraid. Was it not only the other day I was playing with the idea of leaving heaven of my own accord? But coming out of Michael's mouth, it sounded like a prison sentence.

"Here then," he took the egg back and sealed it back inside its container, before handing it to me again. "Remember, your exclusion is not permanent. You can still redeem yourself, at which point we would welcome you with open arms. But until then, we bid you well."

I gaped. First at the wooden figure, then at the one who had given me it. It felt like a dreamworld, floating along a swirling current. If I wasn't careful, it threatened to sweep me away completely. Michael carried on talking. It was probably about their plans of what should happen to me next, except by this point, I was no longer taking any of it in. I just couldn't concentrate. The current grew stronger and faster, more and more overpowering, until resisting it became too much of an effort for what it was worth. So I stopped. I let it carry me away, which, thinking back, was probably for the best. At least that way, I didn't have to face the portal.