8 I must tell you

Xue-sama looks at Lisheng with what seems to be... a hateful gaze ? He then rolls his eyes and says

'I have some things to do, I left you money on the table if needed. See you later Fu-kun '

he ads while looking one more time at Lisheng before leaving the room

I noticed that Xue-sama often gazes badly at Lisheng, but when he looks at me all I see is gentleness. I wonder why he don't like him... I don't understand ?

Anyway, I focus my attention on Lisheng.

I hope he's okay. Before when we were on the street I almost fall and he tried to help me which caused him to hit his head against the floor while I landed on him. Thankfully nothing serious happen to his head. I blush when I think of the position we were in... so embarrassing !!

I catch Lisheng looking at me which makes me blush harder

'let's go to bed !'

his eyes seems to shift black and I realized that what I just say can seems confusing !

'w-what I wanted to say is to go to bed to rest ! be-because of your head hurting you know! I-I'm going to get water you can go sit!'

I then run out to the little kitchen.

I must have been so awkward.

I don't want to know what he is thinking oh no (╥﹏╥)

Anyway I have to help him lesser his pain because it is my fault if it's hurt ! I take a glass of water and come back to him now that I have calm down. I gave him the glass and he drinks from it while keeping a hand on his head

'a-are you better ?'

'mmm I will be if you let me do something'

he says while looking straight at me with a burning gaze. I don't know why but I feel a little uncomfortable and... a little hot. It's not the first time that I catch him looks at me like that. I am not Virgin Mary despite what most of people think, I know what that look mean : on the street I often have this looks directed to me. And God I find it disgusted.

But Lisheng... is Lisheng.He is not disgusting like these men. On the contrary for me he is like a... an an anchor, a light, my light.

Whatever, I mean, I must be crazy to even think that he could be attracted to someone like me. After all I myself am so dirty. How could someone still want me. I have to stop being so delusional.

'what could help?' I answer determined to help him feel better

'let me put my head on your legs to rest for a moment'

'?' did I hear right ? He keeps on looking at me while waiting for an answer

I blush

'o-okay!'

He smiles and start positioning himself on my laps. I'm sitting on the border while he lies down on the bed and put his head on my legs, his head facing my my my... you know right ! He closes his eyes and stop moving.

aaa I don't know what to do ? I don't move. And everything is so calm. Quiet. It's a relaxing silence though.I check that his eyes are really close and let out a chuckle. His hair are so messy ! I move my hand and help rearange them. So soft, so comfortable to touch... wait what am I doing again ? it funny how I feel so much... closer to touch him like this. Intimate.

We are used to touch each other a lot. Especially during our life in the street, but it was only for warming ourself up because, well, staying alive in the snow with only a thin piece of clothes on you is so difficult. I tear up a little while thinking of what we have undergoes during those times .

Without realizing one of my tear fall on Lisheng's face. He almost instantly open his eyes and straighten himself, then in a smooth movement takes me in his arm. His action makes me want to cry even more. Why am I such a crybaby

'chuuuu, everything's al right Fu-chan I'm here. Why are you crying ?'

'It-it's because I was th-thinking of of when we w-were in the str-street and you know sniff '

'stop thinking of those things Fu-chan, we are here together now and that's the most important'

After a while where Lisheng never stop caressing my back and telling me smoothing worlds, I'm better and can talk again without stuttering so much

'Lisheng?'

'Yes Fu-chan'

'do you remember what happened before Xue Feng found us when we were on the street ?'

I have been wondering about that for a while now but never had the occasion to speak about this with him. I have this strange feeling of missing out something very important but I don't know what. Perhaps Lisheng know

'I don't remember much but I think you were standing in front of me and-and .. how to say you seemed a little strange ? did something happen to you?'

he froze

'Lisheng ?'

He doesn't react for a while and when I am starting to worry if there really is something wrong with him he looks at me with a determining gaze. He puts his two hands on my shoulder before saying

'Fu-chan I need to tell you something very important'

'yes Lisheng ?'

'I - I ...'

It is the first time I see him struggle so much to speak. Usually he is always so confident. I wonder what can be so important. I decided to help him

'you know you can tell me anything Lisheng' I smile to him 'but if you have too much trouble saying it you can always tell me later I don't mind' even if I really want to know

'Fu-chan...'

he gently strokes my cheek while looking at me with his burning gaze. Again ! I can't stop myself from blushing. But it's not my fault ! It is not me who started this ambitious atmosphere okay !

I'm so attracted to his eyes I can't look anywhere else. It's fascinating, but like, really : they seemed to change color as time is passing. They are turning so much blacker than they originally are. Really I am not joking there are so so black .

All of sudden his gaze shift to my throat. And now a little red light seemed to appear in them , so beautiful. Then in a quick movement he puts his mouth on my throat.

Oh my god what do I do what do I do ??

I-I-I Lisheng is

I feel him starting to suck on my skin. It feels so strange at first, but also ... good ? I mean I never felt something like that before. It tickles me a little but at the same time I hope he is not gonna stop it too soon.

But I'm feeling a little restless now. A little hot.

Aie! He is starting to nibble on my neck, I'm so sensitive here so it hurts a little even if he bits it weakly.

' Lisheng mmm can you '

My words stop coming out when I feel something strong poking me below

....

Oh god he he have he

' LISHENG ' I try to scream it with the most conviction that I can gather in my state but I have to admit that I sounded more like a little girl cry than anything else

He stops abruptly and seems to come out of his trance

'fu - fu-chan ?'

his spirit seems to return to him and he asks worried

'fu-chan are you okay !'

He checks my neck who must now be as red as my cheeks, taking into account all the sucking and bitting that he did to it

'I- a well- I-I'm good'

'thanks god'

he brings me in his arms and I cuddle onto his wide torso

' It's just that you know I-I'm not really ready but-but If you want ....' I lower my head as I whisper the last world

'fu-chan no I don't want to - well - I want but I was not trying - I mean'

he stops talking and just squeeze me harder in his arms

I know that it is a little awkward now but I must know : what he tried to tell me earlier...what it that? That he was attracted to me and wanted to ...

'Lisheng !'