3 Chapter 3 -- My Crimes in Action
I sat down, thinking of ways I could get more money. I ran over to Macy's, ran inside the shopping mall. I walked through the door, and grabbed som shirts and pants off the racks.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Suddenly hearing these alarms, I ran out of the mall before the guards came. I ran down the street.
I made it back into the alley with the shirts and clothes.
In the alley, I set up some cardboard and wooden planks, and built myself a shack. Then I got changed inside the shack.
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The next day. Crime #2.
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Next, I went into a restaurant, sat down and ordered a big meal. When the waiter came and bought me a lot of food, I ate all the food. Then, as soon as no one was looking, I burst out the door. "Wow, that was easy!"
Suddenly people were shouting behind me, but I was already running down several streets and lost sight of them.
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Crime #3.
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I headed into another clothing store, grabbed a pair of running shoes and and ran for the exit. I heard alarms go off as I ran for the exit. I got out safely and ran down the street.
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Crime #4.
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As I ran down the street, I see a businessman giving coins to a hobo. I reached over and grabbed his briefcase, and ran as fast as possible, dodging into another corner. Once I lost him, I open the briefcase and count his money. He has a thousand dollars. YES!
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Crime #5.
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Now I'm going to try to steal a car. I took out one of the coat hangers, modified it, and went to a parked car. I tried to slide the coat hanger between the car window and the weather stripping, but despite my efforts, the car door wouldn't unlock. Eventually, I gave up and picked up a rock, then used it to smash the car window.
Then, I reached my hand inside the window, and unlocked the car door.
Once the car door was unlocked, I cleaned up all the glass. Then I tried to hot-wire the car, but couldn't figure out how.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!!"
I jumped in fear, and see an orange-haired man with furious green eyes running toward me. Oh shit! I jumped out of the car and ran down the alley as far away as possible.
The orange haired man chased me down five blocks, and I kept wondering whether he'd ever get tired.
When he finally caught up to me, I said, "I am homeless, okay!" As if that justified anything.
The orange-haired man stopped, panting before me. He stared at me angrily. "So you're saying you have no money to repair for the damages you've done to my car. I'm calling the cops." He took out his iPhone.
"FUCK!" I snatched the iPhone out of his hands, then kicked him across the face, and ran the hell out of there.
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I ran as far as possible, possibly to another city. I was panting extremely hard. Finally, I opened the phone and saw a password. I didn't know the password so I ran into a Best Buy. I went on their computers that they have for display, and used their laptops to google how to unlock a stolen locked iPhone. Once I got my answer, I performed that on the iPhone and forcibly unlocked the iPhone.
Now the iPhone is mine.
I used the iPhone and used the store's WiFi internet connection, to search up my location and look for jobs. I went on Craigslist and posted an ad asking for jobs.
I logged out of his iCloud, and pocketed the phone. I walked out of the store, resisting the urge to steal the laptop with me. Of course the resistance could only last for so long because I ended up grabbing the laptop, shoving it underneath my shirt, and sprinting out Best Buy's door.
There were police car sounds but I ran even faster, ducking under a bridge and hiding in another alley. I went deep into the alley and found a quiet spot inside the dip of a wall, where no one was around, and slept.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
I suddenly woke up to tons of gunshots, and realized I was still hidden tucked inside a wall, and two gangs were shooting the hell at each other. I looked across, and saw a young man with pink hair. He was tied up and gagged. He must be the hostage that the two gangs are having a shootout over.
I thought of trying to get out of here, but I knew that as soon as I step out, I would be shot, so I stayed hidden, covering my eyes and watching what happened.
In the end, at least 50 people were dead from bullet shots and everything was quiet. I finally came out of my hiding place, and saw suitcases of money all over the place. Whoa!
"Mmph! Mmph!" the young pink-haired man cried through his mouth tape.
I walked over to him and ripped the mouth tape off his mouth.
"UNTIE ME!" The pink haired man said.
"Why should I? I want all this money, what if you stop me when I untie you or try to take a portion of the money?"
"No!" The man sobbed. "These dead people, they're my gang. They came to save me from the rival gang that kidnapped me. But now both gangs are dead from the shootout... The least I could do is carry their bodies home..."
I rolled my eyes. "Well, not my business. I'm homeless so I need this money to buy myself a house. If you can't help me with that, I'm not taking any risks."
"Wait...You're... But you're beautiful." The pink-haired man exclaimed, staring at me like I was crazy.
"What does beauty have to do with it?" I questioned. Plus he was probably biased because we both had the same hair color and he must've been a narcissist.
"My name is John and I want you to know... I want you to... I want you to come live in my house. I own a mansion. I'm rich."
"Look man, I'm not into guys." I said, internally cringing. I knew where this was going.
"No...No... I'm offering you a job. You can take my identity. You can pretend to be a transgender for all I care. You can take over my public identity."
"You're giving me your ID to impersonate you, a wealthy man? Why?"
John nodded. "I am going back into the criminal underworld to restore my gang and track down the rest of my gang members, and I need someone taking care of any business and shipments that get mailed to my house. Someone answering the door and collecting any mail I get, if you will."
"Or if the cops come to your house, they'll have someone to arrest: me, instead of you," I said dryly.
"No no...I mean yes. Look, you'll get a bank account with a ton of money. You want it or not?"
I hesitated. "It sounds too good to be true. What do you expect from me?"
"I just need you to stay at my home and wait for orders from me. Look, you're homeless okay? I'm giving you a place to stay safe...well, as safe as you can be. Sometimes the most safest place to be, is at the place where it's most dangerous that mobsters won't even dare to approach. You have nothing. You--"
"I have this money I'm about to collect," I smirked. "I'm not working for you."
"The money will run out," John insisted. "Look the jobs I give you will be optional, but I guarantee a greedy bitch like you will accept them."
"Don't call me bitch, you bastard." I slapped his face and he couldn't fight back because he was still tied, so he glared at me angrily.
"I'll be back, I need to hide the money," I told him as he rolled his eyes, when I picked up all the suitcases of money. There were thousands, maybe millions of hundred dollar bills in these briefcases lying around. Hell, I didn't even need John's house or mansion, I could buy ten of them with the money here. I took all the money and carried them out of the alley, and went deep into a secluded forest where no one was around, after stopping at a store to buy a shovel.
Once I got that shovel, I dug extremely deep into the ground, at least 20 feet deep, and buried all that money into the ground. Then covered it all with dirt. There was a deer staring at me, so I said to it, "Protect my money." The deer kept staring at me as I left the forest.
Once I returned to the alleyway, I looked at John who was still tied up there. He looked annoyed at me, but I finally untied him. "So, let's go," I said.
John grunted, looking mad at me. "You know what, you really are a bitch."
He said that, but he led me to walk down several blocks with me. He borrowed my stolen iPhone, made a phone call, and a limousine showed up. Wow, he really was loaded.
I went inside the limousine with him, and the driver drove us to his mansion. Turns out he was telling the truth.
