2 Freedom

I was in so much pain it seemed so surreal and all-consuming. Was I dreaming? The waters proved to realistic as the chill produced was like daggers on normal skin to me seemed to be a sedative to that which was in my blood. I felt the push and pull of the current, with every mouth load of water I felt my lungs scream. A haze of blackness was enveloping my sight but even though I was dying I was finally at peace. When my conscious faded I thought is this the peace I had been searching for, can I finally be free from these binding shackles?

Mind muddled but lungs clear and the sedative of the cold was gone my mind pulled to open my eyes but I refused. Please just another moment in this void of unacknowledged knowledge. Aches and pains rocked my body with a renewed vigor I know not if I was screaming or crying as it was blank in my consciousness. Someone was around Their words and smell I can't recall but their white eyes were normal. Those eyes sedated the feelings of panic and sorrow and provided a small sense of clarity. It felt as if a war was raging inside of me, from the wolf to the angel their howls and cries blended and were unbearable. I shut them out for the first time since we had been introduced believing it was best for us all to heal. Only if I knew what was to come from my decision, I fear maybe I could have changed it had I not isolated them in their time of need.

When I first awoke all I knew was the agony from the lingering effects of that night. My body shuddered with chills in the crisp evening air and upon instinct, my body convulsed in pain. Forcing the movements as I removed myself from the ground and proceeded to stretch and wiggle but in the process, I froze as something connected in my mind. Something was different my broken and displaced bones were set and not hazardously done even odder was the wounds on my body were covered with something sticky but the most shocking was the essentially nude state I awoke to. I vaguely recalled the man whose eyes I hadn't seen for a while and the clothing was due to my state and circumstances from that night. I was alive when I should have died, why I didn't know but I would make the most of this second chance. I would accept the fate I rejected all those years ago but only after I became worthy. The fact I was awake meant I could get to work listening to those insides on how to survive and move forward. I have survived sixteen years bound to a pack that hated me and I have survived a month unconscious in a place just outside of the rogues. One problem became clear quickly I hadn't heard from those inside for a while even after I opened up to them again. I feared id lost them. That sole fact made the past month come rushing to memory from the inability to move and the pain that had barely dwindled to a mere thumping within. Then I remembered why it was all so silent the first two weeks my Angel Amelia died and left behind a hollow pit that was filling with agony and rage, my wolf was fading and her cries were near silent. Three weeks and the toxins in my blood were minimal but yet I was still close to death thank that to lack of nutrients and a pitiful state of being. Four weeks and my witch Maggie took completely allowing her to use magic to separate herself for the time and take over nursing our body back to health. Maggie in the process pushed her consciousness forward allowing mine conscious to rest. The wall that once separated us was smashed and useless a vivid reminder of the stupidity I had expressed in trying to separate us all. Using simple spells to strengthen our body and its functions as the poisons slowly circled through. I noticed the anger I had pushed down seemed to be growing and that's when the husk of my angel was filled by that hate adding to the rage and pain already dwelling there till it twisted it all into a new life, a demon was born inside later I named her Sarah as a way to put my emotions into one place. That aspect wasn't a separate part of me not really it was now just as much a part of me as I was human. I was just able to manipulate it and its properties.

Within the month all bodily functions were near normal as well as all the damaged bones and wounds. I was in training and using the land free of rogues as a safe haven like a child who clung to a mother. Another month passed and I could hunt and kill on my own as well as in wolf form and demonic form as well then again killing as a demon never proved difficult. I was worried I'd lost my wolf but instead of losing her, she evolved through death. My wolf was no longer a glowing snowy pelt but a black void who came out mutated but stronger as her anger caused acidic toxin to leak from her teeth and claws. Seeing the mutated, taxed, and the anew within me I was forced to realize how broken I truly am and come to accept that I was on a downhill spiral where pain birthed insanity. Though nothing was normal and every day an obstacle was overcome three more seemed to arise yet I embraced that chaotic nature that was my new life. I learned to Bathe in the river and hunt in the forest but mainly to survive in neutral land till I was strong enough to go beyond. I stayed in the little area I had almost died till I felt strong enough to leave even if it was only physically. This body of mine may be littered with scars but at least the new ones show a new hopeful story of a girl who tried to change even if it was a little too late.

Days came and went and the sanity I clung to was quickly fading and the calming voice of Maggie was but a whisper. I had a growing concern that the one I would truly lose permanently was Maggie as she was growing weaker and quieter thus I made sure to give her space and time to heal. I hated the river as it brought a fear of what could have been and as of recent a bad habit has formed. Using a claw I slashed my wrist and watched the blood drip into the river washing away the person who was originally inside it. Sarah Black a reject of the Blue Moon pack with no hope or future was dead. The blood went from a steady stream to mere drops and with the last of it, I claimed a new future one where I was reborn from the waters that carried away the last of the being I once was. I was done with blaming myself and faying weak and defenseless when I could and would be so much more. I had done and said this for days till I could believe the very words I spoke and today seemed more believable than the previous fourteen days. Gathering my limited supplies I set my sights on finally exploring beyond my little abode.

Today I made a vow with finally believing my words at the river I looked inside and declared that today and onward I will be known as Belladonna Thorne the damnation of the wicked and yet the ultimate hellion. I will make them all bow at my feet and build a reputation on blood and bone. I always believed that revenge was petty and that grudges get you nowhere, but the thing is power is addicting and I was becoming an addict. When I return to strip them and then the world of its power they will regret it all as they burn in a hell of my own making.

Maybe my sanity is fleeing faster than I thought.

Maybe I never was sane.

One fact remains.

...They should fear the dark cause the devil is free and ready to hunt.