1 One

In the depleted house were a dimly lighted room the only source of light is the moonlight coming outside. The whole room was quiet and cold. It was filthy and messy. There were Shattered glass, scattered books, wasted paper, and laundry clothes filed like mountains in the bed and a chair.

In the bleakness there was a murmur of a woman time to time like a creepy ghost, saying broken sentences "If I did this.... Would it... No... Maybe I should have.. It wouldn't change.."

Her mind was stuck into 'if' situations. Thinking of other possibilities different to the current situation. Recalling the disappointments, the betrayals, regrets, grievance, anger, pain, loneliness she has been through made her fall into the abyss.

This woman has a hoarse voiced, chapped lips, hollowed cheeks, pale skins and dark circles under her eyes. These are symptoms of people who are dehydrated, malnourished, and lacking of sleep or people with mental problem.

This is the woman sitting in the dark corner of the room, hugging her knees close to her chest while her head buried in her arms. She's wearing an uncleaned loose white shirt reaching to her thighs, her disheveled and unkempt hair made her look more hideous to look at, enough to be a ghost that is seen in movies or a haunted house.

Her arms were wrapped in loose bandages and some bruises or cuts can be seen not only in her arms but even some part of her body. There were fresh and old injuries left unattended and treated poorly leaving it infected.

Moments later, the woman started hitting herself with her palm one after another with increasing force making a loud sound that echoed in her empty room while her other hand was digging into her thigh making a red scratch until a fresh blood flow.

"Stop it! Don't think! Even if you think about these possibilities, nothing can change now. It's useless! The past is already set in stone! Why can't you just get it?! Just stop... Sob sob.. Just stop it.. I don't want to think anymore.. Sob sob"

She screamed and shouted like she was talking to another person. Her voice has a tinch of anger and tiredness but at the end its likely pleading.

The wound she made didn't faze her like she didn't feel the pain. She's only been crying and shouting in blame and irritation with herself.

Self harm was one of her temporary answer to stand her ground. Feeling the suffocation because of overwhelming emotion made her unable to breath normally and the depression she was feeling made her want to end her life. Although temporary, but she knew deep inside this was not the answer.

But it didn't stop her to think how to die cause she felt it like someone robbing the life of her, rejecting her. Sometimes she thinks it's easy to ends one's life than it is to live.

Then she stopped out of the blue like something caught her attention. She was staring at the other corner of the room without moving. Unknown to her, her whole body was sinking to her own shadow, swallowed by the darkness till nothing was left.

. . . . .

From a different time and place, there was a young man wearing an exquisite white robe with golden pattern at the hem of the robe that complemented his statuesque physique laying on the chaise lounge sleeping comfortably. He had a short golden silky hair, thick brows and long eyelashes, a straight nose and attractive lips. His handsomeness can rival the beauty of the gods.

But suddenly his eyelashes fluttered as a signed of waking up and slowly opened and showed his enchanting amber colored eyes. But within those amber eyes shows deep and complicated emotion.

"Should I be happy or sad, Ash?"

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