15 symptoms

Jaemin sat on the edge of his cot, clutching his diary while keeping his gaze fixated on the said object. He was contemplating whether to read the entries he's made years ago. Something about it scares him, and it makes him hesitate into reading further. He can't help but wonder. He remember starting all of this diary entry thing so that he can read and look back on the events that happened in the past. For him to reminisce and remember.

But here he is, contemplating whether to start reading what he wrote before or not.

Jaemin released a sigh.

"They're just diary entries, right?"

He thought to himself.

Jaemin would pay a visit to the hospital to have his monthly check-up, after being diagnosed with brain cancer. However, he stopped when his headaches have subsided along with the other symptoms; he was prescribed with medicines that claimed to help his condition.

But the symptoms came back, and his condition has gotten worse.

Everything started from mere headaches that occurs to him at any time of the day. Sometimes, the pain is bearable, other times it brings Jaemin into tears. Sneezing and coughing feels a lot like torture to him. Describing how it feels would be the sensation of having his skull ripped open, his brain pierced with needles while being squeezed mercilessly then thrown to the ground.

It was just one of the first common symptoms, though.

Things has gotten worse as time went by, from vomiting to frequent confusions, troubles in thinking, and blurry visions. They gave him prescriptions with higher dosage after this, the medicine helped. But Jaemin felt restless, yet tired. He is no longer allowed to indulge in activities that can tire him out.

The thought pains Jaemin heavily.

Jaemin purses his lips thinly, carefully flipping his diary open and reading what was written on the first page of his diary, "Jaemin's Diary".

The handwriting was a bit messy, but it was still legible. Jaemin puffed his cheek as he flips once more.

"My parents brought me to the hospital after they caught me crying and all curled up on the ground while clutching my head. The pain was so unbearable.. They were asking me what's wrong and what's going on with me but it felt like there was some kind of lump in my throat that prevents words from coming out. I kept crying and they brought me to the hospital after. The doctor gave me some kind of medicine and it tasted so bitter! It tasted disgusting. But it did help my headache. The doctor also gave me a room to stay in the meantime, they said I need to stay in case it happens again. There was another bed in my room but no one is occupying it. It's so cold here and lonely. I don't want to be here."