33 not too bad

I almost exposed myself to Jeno last time. It's just that.. I missed school so much. I miss going to school. I miss doing homework. I miss listening to class and catching up with friends after a day of not seeing each other. I envy those who are able to go to school each day. As weird as that may sound to people who dislike the idea of studying, I miss learning.

I felt nervous after realizing what I said and I felt like the need to leave as soon as I could. I know that wouldn't lessen his suspicions on me though. That is, if he ever found what I said to him in response as suspicious. I was about to leave but he stopped me. It caught me off guard, actually. I never thought nor did I expected him to stop me. After all, I was nothing but a stranger to him still.

He wasn't the Jeno that I thought he was, too. So that makes me less known to him and we were nothing but individuals who met inside the hospital's cafeteria.

He asked me if I'm going to come visit him again, it flustered me. Of all the possible things he could have said to me that time, I didn't expect that at all. I didn't want to sound cocky and too confident or what, and I clearly wouldn't want to come either if he didn't want me to. But to my surprise, he actually liked my company!

I guess Jeno isn't bad as I thought he was. If anything, he's really kind and friendly, I guess? He hasn't really shown me that side of him completely, but I just sense it. I'm sure Jeno's not a bad person. He looks too delicate to be bad. I know looks can be deceiving sometimes and that is true. That won't change my thoughts of Jeno being a good person though.

I promised him that I'll visit him again after he admitted that he wanted me around before I bid my goodbye. I had to leave before my nurse becomes suspicious of my whereabouts after being gone for an hour and a half and not being where I told her I would be, which was the cafeteria. I mean, the nurses are kind enough to let me go and stroll around the premises of the hospital as I please, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to know that I was visiting another patient inside the hospital and potentially bothering and disturbing them from their rest. Jeno's nurse seems really kind, too! She let me come inside and even told me that she won't tell my nurse about it. I could only hope she won't tell.

Signed, Na Jaemin.