Reincarnation rules and wishes ?
for a little over a minute Astor makes incomprehensible mumble's and grunts while reading and finishes it of with a slight chuckle and with a mirthful smirk at Sahara he purrs, "looks like a nice trip hunny... miss Sahara or well soon to be Miss Aisaka i hope you enjoy it, make sure to make this life a little interesting k girl!"
Sahara just raises an eyebrow and with a good pause for a couple seconds he pulls out a bejewled dagger and with an almost demonic grin he tells her, " so you want to reincarnate there Huhhh well i guess you can but know this if you fuck up the plot be ready for the backlash like being killed in a very stupid way also know that all universe's deal with reincarnation a different way and because bleach actually has a system or a form of the after life you will be stuck there until you ethir cease to exist or is eaten and completely absorbed by a hollow or we chose to take you back and thats out of the question for atleast a thousand years... are you sure you dont wanna be reborn in marvel or something?" and with a stubborn smile she says, "now now... Astor SaMa~ i didnt know you actually liked me enough to care!" and Astor just shrugged his supernatural shoulders and says, "what ever floats your boat doll, anyway give me your hand i just need 5 drops of blood to seal the contract and i can give you your 5 wishes..." and after handing him her hand with a small wince he slices the tip of her finger drops 5 drops of blood into a small jar of ink gives her back her hand and then hands her a very fluffy feather pen ans with her other hand she signs her name in the blood ink and randomly pulls out an adventure time Marceline the Vampire Queen bandaid raps it gingerly around her finger and sits back and pulls out a book thats big and bright neon yellow book with strawberry colored that prints 'RULE BOOK'
and in smaller golden letters it says
'by God JOHN of mops and dirty socks'
And it reads " dearly beloved We Gather here today to discuss- n-no wait scratch that hello humans welcome to- ...dang it why can't I ever write anything right anyways welcome to the rule book of reincarnation by me John God of mops and dirty socks and I am here because I can obviously anyway they're about probably 100 rules about reincarnation but we're just going to skip to the ones that are important and then probably six and seven more because why not after all if you mess up it's not me that's going to get in trouble just you so be careful and don't fuk up or you will have to yeet yourself out of eternal paperwork...
anyways rule one is pretty simple don't try to become a God there's already enough of us up here but if you make it you're going to have to fight for an actual name that's cool look at me I'm literally the god of mops mops I tell you is that wasn't even fun I have this friend name Janice she's the goddess of toilet-paper and I mean I don't even know what's fucking happening there but it did happ'n and every time somebody has to take a shit she's watching ...the toilet-paper roll and like hot damn she's even got a nickname up here the goddess of the shitstain paper but I'm getting off topic anyway the fact is try not to aim too high or too low or you'll just fail and become a middleman just like the mailman kinda ... if you want to try your luck good luck, fail that just means you die ....
( pretty half-assed rule Joe made when he was drunk)
RULE-O numero 2 put on the mother clucking seatbelt people it saves your ass from having to sit in the same place for hours in the hospital, safe driving dipshits!
rule numeral two or three if you fuk with the plot of an anime you may have the chance ever-changing the anime into a crack anime we're pretty much everything is weird shit so expect all the unexpected and of course death
rules 4 dang it I'm getting sober now fuck magic mop bring me the Bears no autocorrect not bears beers good pet anyway when wishing 4 something there are no take backs. you snooze you lose you dumb fucks
5. respect mops
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6. I think I want some chicken and maybe some fries and some Mc noonels fries and pop rocks ...maybe ill watch some netflix later ... pay magic mop do you want to watch some Netflix later with me, ¥3§ [V]@$+3R ~
( Yes master~)
*Ink smears and randome chicken nugget and the rest are blank pages aka your on your own you poor poor meat bag*
Slightly flabbergasted and well Jun-Shook she smacks herself twice 😣😟😐😕... and then glances over at Astor and he is just smileing a 'roll with it smile 😅' and with a deep breath to get ahold of her bearings 🐻 she calms down and thats when Astor speaks, "well you got 5 Wishes and you can have anything in the whole multiverse even regenerating food what else could you want.."
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