Prologue

When I was a little kid, I was afraid of cars. I would hold on to my mother's arm extra hard every time we crossed the street. My mother encouraged my precaution; calling me smart for it. She taught me to look both ways before crossing and to use the crossing lines whenever possible.

The thing is..

As I grew older I felt like my entire life continued to take place within the bounds of some imaginary crossing lines. I was never in any real danger. Not as long as I was careful, and followed the rules. I went to a nice high-school, had nurturing friends, love, attention, coaching, everything I really needed to grow older in a successful manner - I lived in a protected bubble. Never in real danger.

Today, I make my own dentist appointments, I water my own plants, pay my bills & loans, add value to the economy through my hard work, and worry much more often than before. Part of me knows that's a somewhat good sign because it means I'm finally fending for myself. I get to make my own decisions, and it is just natural for each of them to have a direct consequence on what the future is going to look like. However, I don't really feel protected any longer.

I can't help but see all the cracks in the different systems that constitute our society and make this world largely imperfect - rendering us enormously vulnerable to things as trivial as luck. I'm less naive. I have learned that following the rules adds up to an impossible task because the rules are increasingly less clear, and as people grow older they often end up defining what the rules should look like for themselves anyway. When I say rules, I'm not talking about the law. I'm talking about the portfolio of actions you take, ranging from your small morning routine to what your judgment call would be if put in an important difficult situation. There is an infinite number of shades of grey when it comes to rules. You just need to pick the one you feel more comfortable with, hope for the best, and make peace with the fact that there's always going to be a factor in your life that falls outside of your control. As I said before, it's only a part of me that's aware of how convoluted life can be, and that's only because the other part of me does not want to think about it too closely.