17 JEHOVAH JIREH: MY GOD THAT PROVIDES

2009 I was in a state of frustration and depression, it was a time where I felt so alone even though I was not living alone, and many times I felt so out of place. I asked myself so many times while I am living, why am I here, what's the use of carry on. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and self-worth and no one knew that I was struggling because I was not the type of person to express myself. And even though I live in a house with people who care and loved me, I still feel unloved. All the years that I was neglected and abused by my own family I have carried that around with me, eating away the inside.

At this point I haven't been to church in years because I have blamed God for things that happen in my life. But one day I met a girl who invite me to her church and when I went something change. I was ministered to and God welcome me back with open arms even though I have wandered so far from him. I decided that day to renew my vows back to him. I decided to walk hand in hand with him. And if I can be honest that's where all hell broke loose in my life,

I lost my job the day I started school and I have to move out in the same month. I felt so hopeless because here I am have nothing to my name, no bed, stove, no fridge but I can tell you God provide a room and I am not even sure how most of the rent pay for the first four months because I didn't have it.

There were days I did not have food to eat and all I could do is lockup in that small room and cried for days at a time. The enemy start to tell me see there, you gone back to the God who said that he will give you everything and here you are hungry and alone, where is your God now, that is when I bawl out to God.

I remind in him that point and said God you told me that you are my provider you told me in 1 Peter 5:7 to cast all my cares upon you because you cares for me.

I cried God, you said in Joshua 13:5 you will never leave me nor forsake me.

You said God you are my help and my deliverer so where are you Now Great God

Where is your help, you said God that you love me with an everlasting love, so where is the love.

After all the crying I went to the pipe and drink some water and I can truly say that the water taste like coconut water. And that is what I drink for many days.

It doesn't matter how bad the situation that you are going through or how much you are in need God is able to deliver and provide for your needs according to his riches in Glory.

All we have to do in times of need is to cry out to him in our moments of despair.

He is a God that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Ephesians 3:20