128 What Are We?

"Alright, alright," Noah sighed after he was released from my wrath. "I won't look in your search history since you seem to have something you wanna hide."

"I don't," I answered as I sat down on my bed that I haven't really slept on for quite sometime now since I've been sleeping with Loriana. "I just don't like people invading my privacy."

Noah had taken the freedom of sitting in my computer chair, and as for the others, they were simply standing about. Because my room was pretty big, it was able to accommodate seven people. However, it was quite awkward to look at when four of the seven were simply standing around.

"You guys um... want to find somewhere to sit down in?" I asked.

"There's not much sitting space available..." Irina commented as she looked around my room. For some reason, her face was somewhat red and she appeared quite rigid as she clung tightly onto Muria's arm.

"You should really think about getting like a low table," Loyd said as he walked over to my computer desk and leaned back against it. "Since you have a carpet in the center of your room, everyone can just sit down on the ground around a round table."

A round table that's low to the ground...

I looked over at the circular carpet in my room and imagined a dark wood round table that was quite low to the ground. In fact, the more I think about it, Loyd's suggestion is a pretty good one because with a round table in the center of that carpet, my room wouldn't appear a bit too open.

Maybe I should think about getting one...

"If you don't mind," I looked over at the three girls who were still standing. "You can sit on my bed."

"Inviting girls to your bed now?" Luna joked and chuckled.

"N-no," I stuttered as I blushed. Through that joking statement, I was reminded that it might be some what awkward for girls to sit on a guy's bed. Therefore, I understand where she's coming from.

"I'm just kidding," Luna laughed. Then, she walked over and sat down next to me. After she did so, she felt the mattress on my bed with her hands, feeling its softness as well as the comfort level of my bed sheets. "Pretty nice bed you got," she commented. "Pretty decent size too."

"It's alright," I said as I looked down at the mattress. "Not as big as Loriana's though."

"Does she have a large bed?" Zaksus suddenly turned around and looked over at me. Earlier, he was standing before my shelf to see what game discs I have. It would appear that my comment about Loriana had drawn his attention.

"Y-yeah," I responded, frowning somewhat as that blush on his face was quite weird.

"Muria, you wanna sit down?" Irina asked the girl whose arm she was clinging onto.

"..." Muria looked over at Irina with a somewhat troubled look on her face, but she ultimately softened her countenance. "Sure."

Then, the two girls sat down next to me on the other side that Luna had took a seat on with Irina sitting to my left and Luna to my right. It was quite awkward for me, because why would it end up with me being sandwiched between two girls? Like I can smell the fragrance of the girls with my nose as they were seated right next to me.

"Alevian," Luna said as she leaned forward slightly to take a glance at my face. "Your face is kinda red."

"It's just that it's a bit hot in here," I quickly commented. "L-look. Irina's face is kinda red too. Do you need the air conditioner on?"

"I-I'm fine," Irina quickly declined and rapidly shook her head as if she was nervous about something.

Then, Noah suddenly got up from the computer chair and walked over to my closet. He then opened my closet peered inside at my clothing. I didn't stop him because there's nothing I wanted to hide that's in there, but I was still somewhat annoyed that he decided to look through my belongings without my permission.

Upon opening my closet, he immediately took a step back. On his face there was a look of surprise. "Why's it all like... black?"

"Let me see," Zaksus walked over as well, and he too let out a shout of surprise. "What is this? Black, gray, light gray, and... white. You got any other colors?"

"Those colors don't go out of style," I explained as I felt stabs of judgmental glances thrown my way. "Besides, the design on the clothes I have, in my opinion, are pretty good."

"I guess..." Zaksus said with an awkward smile on his face as he held one of my jackets in his hand by the clothe hanger. "I mean this jacket is pretty nice."

"You're room's so boring," Noah sighed. "It's like so generic and bland. Don't you have a personality?"

"This is my personality," I sighed.

Then, I felt a movement to my right, and looking over, I saw that Luna had crawled further up on my bed and was laying down. My face turned red when I realized that she had made her way to my pillows and was resting her head on them while her body was on my bed.

"It smells of you," she muttered with a smile.

Upon hearing this, Irina's face became a color of bright crimson and Muria also blushed as well, both probably from awkwardness from seeing this play out before her. However, I wasn't sure what the exact reason was. All I know was that... it's awkward.

"L-Luna!" Irina exclaimed, feeling quite surprised by Luna's sudden behavior that was considered to be quite... adventurous?

"It's fine," Luna laughed. "Alevian doesn't mind."

Then, everyone's eyes focused on me, making me quite nervous as I was placed in the center of all attention. I felt my heart rate increase, and for some reason, it felt extremely warm at the moment. It was even to the point that my arms felt a bit sticky from sweat or something.

"I-I don't mind," I responded carefully as I observed everyone's reactions. "But..."

"You should be more considerate of your own status," Muria finished for me. "Like... well... Such behaviors are usually reserved for lovers or close friends."

"Oh..." Luna had a look of realization on her face. Then, she looked over at me. "Alevian, what're we?"

That question of her's was one that has been asked numerous times, either by her or by myself. In fact, I had answered that question multiple times as well. The first time, my answer was companion. The second time, well... I wasn't quite sure then. Now, what about this time?

I looked around at everyone's faces. Although everyone's countenance was different, with Irina's being the most flustered of them all, I was certain that they were anticipating for my response. They want to know as well, and it would appear that my silence isn't helping.

"I've heard that people saw you two hugging at the platforms in Saroff," Loyd commented.

"W-what?!" Irina and Zaksus exclaimed at the same time. However, their countenances were different. Irina's was one of more... concern or worry as her face appeared pretty red. As for Zaksus, there was a look of pleasant surprise on it as he prepared himself to listen to gossip.

I then glanced over at Noah, who had a large smile on his face. It was almost as if he knew this from the start. Then, my eyes skipped over to Loyd, who also gazed at me with a soft smile as if he was happy for me. Then, there was Muria, who appeared indifferent by gazing at the floor, but oddly enough, she looked over at me from the corner of her eye.

"So what is it?" Noah asked with an interesting smile on his face. "Is it lover or friends?"

"We're..." I glanced over my shoulders and at Luna who was still gazing at me as she laid on my bed. "We're..."

Help... I thought in my mind as I glanced over at Noah.

However, it appeared as if I cannot count on him for aid anymore. On his face, there was an anticipating smile, almost as if he wanted to see me answer the question.

"What is it?" Zaksus asked as he leaned closer.

"We're..." I muttered once again as I tried to stall for time and search for an answer in my mind, an answer that would maintain our current relationship without giving away Luna's disease. "We're—"

"—Just friends," Luna suddenly interrupted and answered for me. On her face was a calm smile, almost as if the earlier question was simply nothing to her. "We're just friends," she said once again in a cold and silent voice while maintaining a smile on her face.

For some reason, hearing her say that made me... quite sad. I wasn't exactly sure why, but... I just felt as if there was a huge void in my heart upon hearing her confirm our relationship. It shouldn't be so. She's someone who will die in the near future, and we're never meant to become super close. So why? Why does it tear at my heart upon hearing her confirm that we're friends? Isn't it supposed to be a good thing? So why?

What occurred afterwords no longer appealed to me. Everything appeared quite bland to me as I slipped into that daunting state of melancholy that made the world appear increasingly bland to me. The only thing I can recall were the looks of concern on Irina's face as well as that mysterious expression Luna displayed when she looked over at me. As for the others, things appeared to remain normal. However, Muria paid more attention to me for the remainder of the time that they stayed at my house.

After some time, it was finally time for them to leave, I walked them to the door feeling as if I was simply a shell of myself. I saw them off with Loriana standing nearby and closed the door behind them, allowing them to head to their own respective destinations, some further while some were closer.

"They're pretty nice people," Loriana commented as she stared at the door with a happy expression on her face.

I looked over at her as she stood with her back turned towards me as the melancholy and depression ravaged my mind. Upon seeing her, it was as if finally seeing the light after being submerged in a dark, murky ocean in the deep abyss of eternal darkness. Almost instinctively, I reached out both hands for the light, for my only source of comfort in this world.

"A-Alevian?"

Loriana was surprised when my arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind. However, she didn't resist or try and escape from my embrace. Slowly, I brought my lips to her shoulder, kissing gently on it as I reached my hands up her sweater and for her breasts, fondling them and pinching her nipples that slowly solidified as they were stripped of the protection of their clothing and stimulated by my fingers.