131 Walks in the Rain Might be Restoring

The precipitation still poured on outside with no hints of letting out as the heavy rain made the world outside a gloomy shade of grey. Within the walls of the secondary building of my school, within our club room where the lights and heater were on and the others made lively conversation was what I would consider to be a polar opposite to the outside world. Unlike the wet, gloomy, and silent world outside where the sound of the pouring rain drowned out all other noise, the inside of the club room was dry, cheerful, and loud as the others conversed. As for me, I felt as if I was in the wrong place, feeling as if I would fit better if I was on the other side and in the rain.

As I sat there in melancholy and stared at the screen on my phone, I noticed occasional glances from Irina and sometimes Muria. However, that didn't bother me at all for nothing seemed to matter. Like the world's already dark enough, so any attempts at lighting a light will be futile. My purpose in life has always been the same, so I should just simply allow the past few days be a fine memory and allow it to pass. I need to return to this road that I walked on, this road of revenge.

The door to our club room was suddenly slid open without much warning, causing the conversation to stop as all eyes were directed to the opened doorway. Standing there by the door was Luna, who was dressed in her winter uniform with a muffler scarf around her neck and smiling.

"Hello," she greeted everybody.

"Hey Luna," Loyd responded. "You're to chat?"

"No," Luna shook her head while smiling. "I'm here to look for help," she said. "I need to go out and buy something that's needed for the Student Council and since it's raining outside, I need someone to help me out."

"I'll go with you." Irina offered her hand but was politely declined by the slight shake of her head.

"I was thinking maybe Alevian might be free," Luna said as she glanced over in my direction. "It might take sometime and if it's Alevian, whether he's here or not wouldn't affect you guys's conversation."

"You got that right," Noah laughed.

"R-right..." Irina nodded with a somewhat troubled and gloomy expression on her face.

"So," Luna then turned towards me. "Can you help me out?"

Since I had nothing to do and it would appear that everyone was expecting me to do so, I agreed. By doing so, I can leave the behind the weird feeling of the club room and escape into the pouring world outside so that's a benefit for me. However, what worried me was the fact that I'll be alone with Luna.

I looked over at the girl that I was following behind, taking in how the retractable umbrella swayed in her hands and how her long silvery-white hair moved in the air behind her as she walked. Maybe it was just me, but I can swear that her hair color must've gotten lighter as it transitioned into a whiter color. I reasoned that it might have something to do with her illness, but since I know nothing about the specifics, that can only just remain a hypothesis that cannot be proven.

"You couldn't have anyone from the student council to go with you?" I asked. "For example that vice president, what's his name... William?"

"Hmm... I could," she said as she looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. "But then I wouldn't be able to spend time with you alone."

I remained mute as I stared at her with no flux in my facial expression or mental state. I felt oddly calm, almost as if her words had no effect on me, which I guess might be the case. Even when I'm walking behind her, I didn't feel much of a change in my mentality as before, making me feel as if my time to roam about outside my prison cell had ended and it was time to return. There will be fetters around me once again, and that door will once again be closed by the warden, locking me up, but this time, it will be a more secured solitary confinement cell.

I followed her across the accessway and to the lecture building, and from there, we made our way down the stairs until we were on the ground floor. The two of us walked over to the front entrance of the school, past the vestibule, and out into the world outside where the extended roof over our head shielded us from the bone-chilling downpour.

Luna then opened the umbrella and held it up. She then gestured for me to enter underneath the covers of the umbrella alongside her and with no other choices available, I reluctantly agreed. With a sigh, I took a step closer to her until I was also underneath the cover of the umbrella before the two of us stepped foot out into the pouring rain.

As expected, it was quite cold, very cold to be more exact. The large droplets of rain pounded against the umbrella with great frequency and the wind blew in occasionally some of the smaller droplets onto our faces. To escape the threatening rain, the two of us instinctively leaned towards the very center of the umbrella, making it so that the two of us were practically pressing the sides of our body together.

"You want me to hold the umbrella?" I asked as I reached a hand over to the handle.

"If you insist," she said as she released her grip on the umbrella handle and handed it over to my left hand.

"So where're we off to?" I asked her as I blushed and felt quite awkward talking to her when my shoulder was pressing against her's.

"Just go where I go," she smiled.

With a frown on my face, I continued walking alongside her down the empty streets near our school due to the pouring rain. However, once we made a turn and got on one of the busier roads, that was no longer the case. Numerous cars drove by on the road and on the sidewalk there were still pedestrians to be seen. Occasionally, people riding on bikes using raincoats to stay dry would pass by and the two of us would had to be careful and get out of the way. Whatever the case was, the two of us just continued walking in silence, and on my face was still that same look of boredom.

"What's wrong?" Luna asked as she looked over at me. "You seem kinda irritated."

"Nothing," I responded as I stared straight ahead, keeping my eyes focused on the road.

Then, a soft chuckle escaped from Luna. "So me saying that you're just a friend makes you that angry?"

"No," I sighed. "Well... I don't know exactly."

"Hmm." She gazed into my eyes. "You actually have an oddly cute side."

"Cute?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "You're the last person I would imagine to be angry when someone says that you're just a friend."

"When did I ever say I'm angry?" I sighed.

"So you don't want to be just friends," Luna continued on the conversation. "So what do you want to become with me?" She looked over at me to observe my reaction.

"I..." I once again struggled with the same question, unable to put a tag on our relationship. I didn't know if it was something that I just find difficult to do or something that I didn't want to do, but anyways, the end result was still the same. I was unable to define what I envisioned ourselves to be.

"Don't worry," Luna laughed softly."I wouldn't do this with a male friend."

She then wrapped her arms around my left arm, bringing her body closer to me until it was pressed tightly against mine. I could feel something soft pressing against my arm, but I didn't dare imagine what it could be in fear of a physical reaction out here in public. Besides, there was something else about this behavior of ours, something that was oddly calming and warm.

"So do you understand now?" she asked as she rested her head against me as we walked.

"..." I remained silent as I listened to her gentle voice.

"Know this Alevian," she continued. "You're not just a friend to me, but... I'm still somewhat disappointed you can't say define it."

I let out a chuckle of self-deprecation. She's right. I am unable to define our relationship, probably because I am afraid. I'm afraid that the closer we become the harder it'll be when it comes time to say goodbye. I'm also afraid that I wouldn't be close enough to her and be seen as someone that's easily replaceable. Thinking about it this way, I realized that I'm actually quite annoying and selfish at the same time. If only she didn't have to die, then what could happen between us?